vexx32

Make a wish... and have it horribly corrupted!

Recommended Posts

Granted. The wish granter stays on by accident, and therefore we all get lost in infinite time.

I wish that taht hsiw I

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Granted, I have no idea what that means, so you suddenly get mauled by bears.

I wish there were portal guns in real life.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Granted, but the universe explodes because you broke the laws of physics.

I wish for 1.0.3 to come out already.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Granted. Your wish invalidates your wish of wishing for an actual wish, thus making it apparent that you are wishing for more wishes. A confused fairy then blows you up for breaking wish rules.

I wish that the speed of of light was actually 100 mph, and that I had an XKCD Phone.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Granted. Your vision doesn't update in real time because light is so slow, so you manage to trip over everything, and time moves faster for you because of relativity. You also get this phone:

chatter-phone.jpg

I wish for a plank of wood. Oak, 2' by 5', 1/2" thick.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Granted. It rots.

I wish for a competent, non-food, sentient, reasonably-priced lawyer with an ethical code of conduct who is taken seriously, has a normal lifespan, and will defend me in a lawsuit.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Granted. But you get murded. Your lawyer, being so ethical and competant, would prosecute your killer and win, but the police can't find the guy.

I wish the KSP API was well-documented.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Granted but the money is the old worthless Zimbabwe currency so its worthless.

I wish to discover a new star

Oh yes, you have indeed discovered a new star. Justin Bieber.

(Sorry!)

I wish 1.0.3 won't mess with the aerodynamic and dV balance of my 1.0.2 craft.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Granted, but it comes with the cost of any rocket, even rigid small ones, exploding spectacularly and shooting the capsules out at 1 real astronomical unit per second!

I wish that there would be more planets in KSP.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Granted. There will be 3 new gas-giants with complex moon systems. However due to the additional textures KSP loads now to 3.3Mb in the main menu so whenever you try to launch a rocket ksp crashes after 2 minutes, reaching the memory limit. Also these new planets and moons use a file-format that is completely incompatible with any form of 64 bit processing.

I wish for cake.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Granted, but I went back in time to add "... and have it horribly corrupted!" to the thread's name.

I wish for more wishes. (Can I do that?)

Edited by Findthepin1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Granted. They aren't yours.

I wish the timeline was expansive rather than linear. Then we wouldn't have to worry about paradoxes.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Granted. They aren't yours.

I wish the timeline was expansive rather than linear. Then we wouldn't have to worry about paradoxes.

But isn't it? Humans are simply incapable of understanding much of the universe as it is, given their brains are so horrifically underdeveloped. Regardless, I shall endow you with the knowledge of non-linear temporal mechanics, despite the fact that when you fully grasp what it means it'll drive you to insanity.

I wish Atheism was declared a religion.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

By the very definition of Religion, it is already. But even then, what that definition is can vary from person to person, human to person, person to human, or human to human.

I for one say that it is a pursuit of prophetic ideals that will ultimately lead to the betterment of everyone.

Nevertheless, Atheism is now widely declared a Religion across the globe, which forces everyone to invent new distinct characteristics for both types in order to tell the difference. By declaring Atheism a Religion, you have changed the definition of Religion, which means it never became one.

I wish I didn't think about that.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Granted. You get kidnapped by loony fundamentalists and put in atheist conversion therapy, where you're too busy to think about such heathen things.

I wish I could get a job in the space industry.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Granted. You are now responsible for explaining to each and every employee _and_ the press why exactly the budget for your space organization gets reduced by 10% every year for the next 10 years.

That is a cute avatar!

I wish I hadn't accidentily killed the "Push-the-button" thread.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Granted, now the thread becomes so popular that it permanently crashes all the servers of the world, leaving everyone without internet.

I wish you didn't have to spend thousands of dollars to get a profitable bitcoin miner.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Granted, bitcoin mining becomes so easy that you can even make a profit from running it on your smartphone. This promptly causes deflation and crashes the bitcoin market. (Bitcoin is due for a turnaround actually, as the number of miners increases the portions of a coin received should decrease which means the market will reach over-saturation pretty soon, where investing costs more than it nets. Bitcoin is unique in that it will react to this very rapidly, but that can easily destabilize the currency.)

I wish I wasn't cursed with the ability to analyze things to their core.

Edited by Fel

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.