vexx32

Make a wish... and have it horribly corrupted!

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Granted. You are taken to the biggest library in the world and interesting books you've never heard of start falling off the shelves and burying you.

(Although I would recommend anything by Stuart Gibbs)

I wish for this post to stay on this thread.

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Granted, but the Annoying Dog absorbed your post.

 

I wish that I could think up new references.

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No wish, no grants!

 

I wish that @PB666 would be even MORE sarcastic.

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Granted. Enjoy.

I wish to be bald in a world where having a combover is punishable by death.

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Granted, but baldness is punished by imprisonment for 20 lives via reviving medicine.

 

I wish for a perfect, eternal, INCORRUPTIBLE to the INFINITE power, world.

Edited by TopHeavy11

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Granted. Nothing changes, and you come to realise that this Earth we have truly is the best of all possible worlds. In your despair you commit suicide. The worls is made a better place for that. Nobody attends your funeral.

I wish I didn't have such a dark mind.

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Granted. You get an evil mind instead.

 

I wish I didn't forget to make a wish.

Edited by TopHeavy11

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Your wish is granted. you didn't forget to make a wish.

I wish i had every wish.

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Granted, but everyone started making dark wishes.

 

I wish for a high-def image of the Delta Rune.

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Granted, but turns out it's so ugly you vomit every time you think about it afterwards.

I wish for a trilobite.

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Granted! You are thrown into a timey-wimey portal and find yourself stranded in the Early Cambrian, where you can have all the trilobites you desire (if they desire you!)

I wish that while you are waiting 520 million years for KSP to be invented, you use your free time to influence the evolution of forks to so that they have opposable thumbs :)

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Granted, but you not only screw up the evolution of mankind, but confuse the duck out of me. :P 

I wish I had a pet rock (would my 10+ Magic Boulders count as pet rocks?).

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Granted. Unsurprisingly, chips are banned.

I wish cars had a spare battery. I may have left my headlights on earlier...

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Granted. Their empty as well. Not feeling so good about hooking up you TV to that car battery during the blackout, not are you?

 

I wish that all CreepyPasta conspiracies would be declared false for good.

Edited by TopHeavy11

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Granted, but pasta starts making creepy noises at night and moving around when nobody is looking...

I wish for a super-fast, super-smooth-turning, impossible-to-pop, WCA-legal speedcube, with the standard color scheme.

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You receive said cube. It is, unfortunately, made of antimatter.

 

I wish for my new computer to be here now

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Granted. In their rush, they somehow managed to disintegrate it.

 

I wish I would go to other forums/sub-forums.

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Granted. That subform is the KerbalEDU subforum, the empty wasteland

 

I wish for Ice Cream

Edited by OrbitalBuzzsaw

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Granted, but it spawned inside your brain, so now you have a literal brainfreeze.

I wish that Mickey Mouse could be the dictator of Zimbabwe (for no reason:P).

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Granted. His first act is to clone himself a million times, then wage war on every country until Earth is renamed Disney World.

 

I wish that Wi-Fi wasn't complete and total irony.

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Granted, but then you wouldn't be able to access the KSP forums.

I wish that birds would STOP TRYING TO FLY INTO CARS WHEN WE HUMANS ARE TRYING TO DRIVE.

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Granted, flying sharks replace birds in the "flying into cars" role.

I wish I could make a Burrito appear in front of me whenever I want.

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Granted!, But just like Tantalus, that burrito is forever just beyond your grasp.

I wish @cantab had not mentioned batteries earlier, because now mine is flat too!! (I’M A’ CHARGIN’ MAH LAZER BATTERY)

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