vexx32

Make a wish... and have it horribly corrupted!

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no can do, sorry :)

I wish more teachers would use the "stair method" for grading papers (find a staircase, assign a grade to each stair, stand at top and throw papers down staircase, where the paper lands determines grade!)

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Granted. but it always lands on F 4 you!

 

I wish for...wait, what's that ticking sou-BOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!

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Granted, but it was just a loud speaker. No explosion for you!

I wish I could shoot lasers out of my eyes with enough power to fry insects and/or insect-sized drones instantly.

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Granted, but the programming goes awry and vaporizes all oxygen molecules in your vicinity. You die of asphyxiation.

 

I wish to leave work early today!

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Granted, you accelerate suddenly to 0.9999999999999 c. You are no longer at work, or on this planet!

I wish for dark chocolate that isn't radioactive.

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Granted. But your dog ate it all; you are now looking forward to cleanup in a few hours!

 

I wish for beer to go with my pizza

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Granted. It runs at 0.000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 frames per millennia.

 

Waiter! My soup is in the wrong game! I wish that it would be in the right one. Wait, that wasn't my wish! NO! STOOOOOO-[This message was sensored.]

Edited by TopHeavy11

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Granted. The hot soup is poured on your head.

I wish to stop losing pencils.

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Granted. You pick up the habit of jamming them into your ears, using them as pencil holders.

 

I wish to stop losing my mind.

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Granted. You become corrupted instead.

 

I wish I could think of witty comebacks.

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Granted, but it was reported.

I wish my deathtraps spaceships worked.

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Granted, but you get left behind on Duna and you starve to death because you're not Matt Damon. 

I wish I could afford a better GPU for my computer. 

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Granted. You eat 10 Kilotonnes of it. Enjoy.

 

I wish I was Matt Damon.

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Granted. You too get stuck on Mars. Only you are the sole survivor of a catastrophic MDV crash, are heavily wounded, and there is no ship coming to rescue you. 

I wish I could include my massive B9 space dreadnaught in my submission to HatBat.

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Granted, but it is too awesome for the universe to behold, so it sends it's quantum foam to erase you from existence.

 

I wish that someone would actually tell me HOW to get a Forum sig.

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Granted, but the signature feature gets removed in the next forum update.

I wish to have a portable gaming laptop with enough power to run KSP and Overwatch on high graphic settings.

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Granted, but it weighs 30 kg

I wish I saw that train coming

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Granted, but it weighs 30 kg

I wish I saw that train coming

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Granted, but you get trapped between your double post and are unable to get out of the way in time.

I wish I weren't so terrified of the ocean.

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Granted. Your petrified now.

 

I wish Chuck Norris.

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Granted, but Chuck Norris Chuck Norrises you for bad grammar

I wish I had a bunny.

Edited by qzgy

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