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Make a wish... and have it horribly corrupted!


vexx32
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9 hours ago, kerbiloid said:

Granted. Squad hires additional moderators for every forum thread.

I wish for Kerbal Alarm Clock in plastic and metal.

granted. you now have a green alarm clock made of plastic and metal, but instead of ringing, it screams, 24/7.

I wish for the ability to pause and unpause time whenever I like. when I pause time, my body still works, and I can still move and think, and any object that I want to be in the same state as i am in when I pause time will be in the same state as i am in when I pause time. If the object requires energy to function, then it will get sufficient energy to do what i want it to do, including my brain and body (now I can play games and see the aliens in area 51). light however would not be affected by my time pausation and will continue moving, and any source of light will continue to produce light when time is the paused (i don't know how, just do). 

Edited by Dirkidirk
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6 hours ago, Space Nerd said:

Granted, you laughed to death.

how? did you grant kerbiloid's non-existent wish instead of my existing wish?  

2 hours ago, kerbiloid said:

I wish the youtube downloader could download any youtube.

granted. you can now download any youtube from any timeline, but you can't know or chose which universe it came from. the third one you download contains some... disturbing content, a lot of it.

I wish for the ability to pause and unpause time whenever I like. when I pause time, my body still works, and I can still move and think, and any object that I want to be in the same state as i am in when I pause time will be in the same state as i am in when I pause time. If the object requires energy to function, then it will get sufficient energy to do what i want it to do, including my brain and body (now I can play games and see the aliens in area 51). light however would not be affected by my time pausation and will continue moving, and any source of light will continue to produce light when time is the paused (i don't know how, just do).

Edited by Dirkidirk
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Spoiler

  

4 minutes ago, Dirkidirk said:

the third one you download contains some... disturbing content, a lot of it.

I know that universe! Aborigenes call it Earth.

 

7 minutes ago, Dirkidirk said:

I wish for the ability to pause and unpause time whenever I like. when I pause time, my body still works, and I can still move and think, and any object that I want to be in the same state as i am in when I pause time will be in the same state as i am in when I pause time. If the object requires energy to function, then it will get sufficient energy to do what i want it to do, including my brain and body (now I can play games and see the aliens in area 51). light however would not be affected by my time pausation and will continue moving, and any source of light will continue to produce light when time is the paused (i don't know how, just do).

Granted. You are now a background NPC in an East Asian MMORPG paused every five minutes due to lags.

I wish you can read hieroglyphs.

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24 minutes ago, kerbiloid said:

I wish you can read hieroglyphs.

granted. I can now read hieroglyphs! :sticktongue:

I wish for a perfectly safe to eat peanut butter and jelly sandwich. the sandwich itself is identical to any other peanut butter and jelly sandwich I ate before (all of them were safe), and the mass of the sandwich is perfectly safe to consume, absorb and turn into waste, and any waste made of the sandwich that I produce will disappear, and it's volume will be replaced by air (once it left the anus and dropped into the toilet), and the disappearance of the waste will not break the universe or affect anything/anyone else in a way I perceive as negative. the consumption of the sandwich will also not affect me or anything/anyone else in a way i perceive as negative, and the sandwich existing cannot affect me or anything/anyone else in a way i perceive as negative. and nothing can affect the sandwich with the intent (except for me) to eat it before I eat it, nothing can poison it, nothing can ruin it, and when it is consumed it tastes the good.

Edited by Dirkidirk
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8 hours ago, Dirkidirk said:

how? did you grant kerbiloid's non-existent wish instead of my existing wish?  

I thought the "lol" was kerbiloid's wish.

Granted, but your wishes always ruin your life.

I wish for the ability to pause and unpause time whenever I like. when I pause time, my body still works, and I can still move and think, and any object that I want to be in the same state as i am in when I pause time will be in the same state as i am in when I pause time. If the object requires energy to function, then it will get sufficient energy to do what i want it to do, including my brain and body (now I can play games and see the aliens in area 51). light however would not be affected by my time pausation and will continue moving, and any source of light will continue to produce light when time is the paused (i don't know how, just do). And myself is not virtual.

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10 hours ago, kerbiloid said:

Granted. But you are orbiting around a neutron star, having no objects in proximity and not enough delta-V to escape.

I wish for internal stackoverflow.

granted. 'stacks' appear in your body, and overflow

I wish for a nice thing

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...

Granted. You have left the Earth's SOI and now you are a planet of your own. Just get spherical to complete the condition of hydrostatic shape.

I wish I hadn't press "Submit" before typing the wish.

Edited by kerbiloid
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2 minutes ago, VoidSquid said:

Granted! People will remember you as one of the most successful KSP modders.

I wish people would have more common sense.

Granted. But you now have none as it was sucked from you.

I wish that this wish doesn't change anything, like birthday wishes.

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1 hour ago, Dirkidirk said:

Granted. But you now have none as it was sucked from you.

I wish that this wish doesn't change anything, like birthday wishes.

Granted, your wish changes it so birthday wishes change something. 

I wish for a Big Awesome Extreme 1999 Extra hamburger. 

Edited by Arco123
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2 minutes ago, Arco123 said:

Granted, your wish changes it so birthday wishes change something. 

I wish for a Big Awesome Extreme 1999 Extra hamburger. 

Granted. I don't know what that is though, so i'm just gonna give you an extreme hamburger, 1999 light years wide. I recommend getting in an ftl ship before it arrives. :wink:

I wish for memes.

Spoiler
6 minutes ago, Arco123 said:

Granted, your wish changes it so birthday wishes change something. 

How is that undesira- oh, it's for everyone isn't it.

 

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