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About me



Found 7 results

  1. Every kerbal of me is going But not from the mun Something is familiar Like a mun explore, I can reach but not quite hold I can sense your on the mun Like a planet I've always known I'm comeing And it feels like I am in orbit I have always been a rocket kerblish secrets deep inside You have kerbals, too But you don't have to land land now I'm dying to land land now It's your turn Are you the kerbal perfect to land All of my mission? land now I'm ready to learn Ah-ah, ah-ah Ah-ah, ah-ah-ah I've never felt so certain to land, I've been torn But I'm here for a reason Could it be the reason why im hear? I have always been so bad at landing kerbal rules did not apply Is this the kerbal? Are you the way I finally find out how? land now I'm no longer scared Here comes the lander I've come so far You are the answer I've waited for All of my mission Oh, landing Let me see the surface Come to land Open your hatch Don't make me struggle One moment more Oh, come touchdown Open your hatch Don't make me struggle One moment land Where the North pole meets the sea Ah-ah, ah-ah There's a kerbal Ah-ah, ah-ah Full of srb's (memories, memories) Come, my darling, homeward planet I am a kerbal land now Step into the surface don't kill yourself crew depends on you You are the one you've been waiting for All of my life All of your mission Oh, land now Ah-ah, ah-ah Ah-ah, ah-ah Ah-ah, ah-ah
  2. [Verse 1] It's a god-awful small affair To Valentina on her EVA But Gene kerman is yelling, "No!" And her teammates have told her to go But her ship is nowhere to be seen Now she flies through her sunken dream To the place where there is map view And she's hooked by the A.G.U [Pre-Chorus 1] But this all is a saddening bore For she's lived it ten times before She’d soon die a fiery death As they tell her to focus on [Chorus] Kerbals watching Jeb and Bill dock Oh no! Jeb has rammed his ship at Bill. It's the freakiest show Take a look at the Kerbals getting in their spaceships Oh man! Wonder if they'll ever know that they will never return home. Is there life on Laythe? [Verse 2] It's on Kerbin's tortured lands That KSC is building up the funds Now the players have struck for fame Because modding is fun again See Kerbonauts in their million hordes From the north to the south poles Rule the star system is out of bounds To anything except them and bugs [Pre-Chorus 2] But this all is a saddening bore For we lived it ten times before soon more kerbals will get blown up As I tell them to focus on [Chorus] Kerbals watching Jeb and Bill dock Oh no! Jeb has rammed his ship at Bill. It's the freakiest show Take a look at the Kerbals getting in their spaceships Oh man! Wonder if they'll ever know that they will never return home. Is there life on Laythe? If you have the power to do so, please make it a real song.
  3. Item #: SCM-1208 Object class: Euclid Specialized Containment Measures: SCM-1208 is to be contained in Warehouse 14 of Site-12 under guard supervision, in the guise of a corporate storage facility. Guards are to be armed with rubber bullets and pepperspray. Object's warehouse must be air-conditioned to no more than 30 degrees fahrenheit at all times. If air conditioning fails or warehouse otherwise falls below minimum temperature, a CCMK42 liquid nitrogen air vehicle is to be deployed to Site-12 immediately and Class-C amnestics administered via water supply and hidden air filtrators to nearby population. If these measures fail, protocol UVC-12 are to be enacted immediately and Class-A amnestics admitted to the city of Los Kerbos. Description: SCM-1208 is a disk-shaped craft found presumably crashed near the ███████-██████ region near Kerbin's ████████ pole. It has no features and no opening, but at temperatures higher than 36.4 degrees fahrenheit, it has been shown to levitate approximately 5-7 meters above the ground. If temperatures exceed 60 degrees fahrenheit, the object will begin moving towards object SCM-1208-1. SCM-1208-1 is a dead 2 meter tall humanoid entity in advanced stages of crystallization consistent with 8-12 years of exposure to the ███████-██████ region's particularly inhosbitable environment. It is stored in Site-12's cryonics laboratories, Experimentation Wing. When SCM-1208 is hovering directly overhead SCM-1208-1, it will rapidly defrost and repair SCM-1208-1's organic matter at a rate of 1kg of restored flesh per 1 minute. If SCM-1208 is restored to a temperature below 36.4 degrees fahrenheit, the object will cease repair of SCM-1208-1's organic matter. It will then move to the warmest location within a 400-600 meter radius before rapidly cooling. Object can safely be recontained at this point. Open file: SCM-1208-1.jpg
  4. Y40305.D244.4:30:00 COMMENCE ARMOR STARTUP PROTOCOL... ACCESSING DISK:/C ACCESSED INSTALLING LATEST FIRMWARE ... ... ... ... ... COMPLETE COOLING CHAMBER... COMPLETE REMOVING NITROGEN... COMPLETE INSERTING NANO... COMPLETE INSERTING BLOOD... COMPLETE REMOVING NANO... COMPLETE OPERATION COMPLETE WAKING SKY SOLDIER.... ... ... ... Complete. I awake to the sound of machinery and heavy footsteps. I know not where i am or what i have been called for, only that my time has come again to kill and die in the name of Kermanity. I remember not my childhood, my friends, my family nor do i possess sentiment towards these things, for my heart has long been turned to stone by my rigorous training. I get up from my pod and move my body, and realize that my body is a hulking tower of plasteel and nanofibre. Yet gracefully do i move, towards the center of the room. I turn and scan the area to see naught but a heavy metal door of which i can hear muffled, mechanical voices behind. No doubt, they are those of Servitrons, here to collect me for my task. I face the door as it croaks open with a heavy grinding and a blinding light. I am approached by four Adeptus Rocketrius servitrons holding various construction implements in their claws. One of them stands front-and-center to me and pulls out a scroll, kneeling as it opens it. Corporal Bogbie Kerman, by order of Chapterhead Jebediah, you are hereby unfrozen and drafted into combat in the defense of Eve's southern poles as part of The Yottaton Offensive. In these battle(s), you will be given one (1) storm sepratronner, one (1) warbooster and one (1) flagsword. Your commanding officer shall be Sergeant Rothco. Your battle tactics and general information will be given to you at his quarters in munar orbit. Come with us. I follow the servitrons down a large series of hallways of permacrete and pipes. Through a large wooden double-door i enter an atrium fitted with a large aperture, evidently an airlock as indicated by a large transport ship on it's center. Looking outside the glass it is clear that i am standing on the surface of Duna, Kerbalkind's industrial powerhouse, extremely populated and developed. Despite that being so, Kerbalkind is still limited to Kebba and Duna alone - the other planets were found to harbor insidious lifeforms that sought the downfall of my race. Laythe, the Humans had attempted to colonize in their titanic interstellar ark, fleeing the destruction of their eternity-distant homeworld. The savage and brutal Mooks, mutated Kerbals that hold land on Eve's inhospitable landscape that attempt to kill anything in their sight. The Cores, an artificial threat created by members of Kerbalkind that did not care for the future have taken control of Eeloo, but they are mostly Humanity's problem. And on Bop, the deadly Deep Space Kraken waits to tear apart anything it sees. And beyond the Kerbol System comes a horror beyond description - an all-consuming hive of plantmatter known as the Oppressionids. The Yottaton Offensive is the single largest military campaign underway currently, and the oldest one ever to be recorded - lasting an astounding 4,301 years. My thoughts and reflections are cut short by the sound of the ship's door opening. Inside I lumber into, storing myself in a rack to prevent my immense body from rattling. The ship lifts off into the opened aperture lock and into the depths of space. Four minutes later, the ship is docked inside of a much larger one. I step into the hangar of it. Easily twice the size of the dunar hangar, easily thrice the capacity of the dunar hangar. In the hangar are dozens of other ships all containing Sky Soldiers like me, all headed into battle in the name of The Kraken-Emperor of Kerbalkind. We are funneled into a series of large dropships where we are fitted in to rows of racks for transport. Away this hulking ship flies towards Holy Kebba... A travel of 2 days is completed to the sight of my ship entering a titanic spaceport that seemed to be attached to the Mun itself by a massive tether. We exit the ship and walk down a bogglingly large corridor and into a titanic dome, lit by Kerbol's loving embrace and the stars that shine the heavens with their hearty, cold rays. Our briefing begins when at the center of this enormous world-dome we are greeted by a hulking beast easily twice the size of even Sky Soldiers. Greetings, men. I am sure you know what we are here for already, if not, allow me to give you a rundown. In exactly 5 days, you are all going to be released into the brutal Eveian wastelands to combat Mook warbully Kilrok and his heavy armored forces. This dome contains ancient technologies from ages long past, allowing for the production of holographic simulated combat. In the next five days, you will be subjected to this simulated combat to prepare you for your tasks. The first of these training simulations begins now. The sergeant stood there as an army of holographic Mooks appeared behind him. Into the air, the sergeant is lifted by a white hoverdisk. I ready my weapon. Y40305.D249.0:00:00 I awake to the sound of the alarm being raised. Me and my squadmates get out of our pods and enter our armor and collect our swords. We need no sergeant for this, we know wehere we are going and why we are going. Our drop-pods pummel through the emerald sunset and land over a strangely quiet plain near a shore of a craterlake. Me and my fellow Sky Soldiers emerge and walk towards our target 45 miles from here. Along our way we notice destroyed fortifications and machines. We collect all the ammunition we can find. When we reach our target, a large base of spikes and chains and iron plates, we were fully prepared. Our squads took strategic positions near rocky outcroppings and readied their weapons. Empirical bombers flew overhead and unloaded their payloads over the enemy's armor depot. Now was the time to act. My squad sprang out of cover and opened fire on the guards near the rear entrance to the base, tearing their flesh into thin strips of bacon that rapidly shriveled without their skin's protection from Eve's environment. We arranged ourselves into a bolt formation and pierced their walls, destroying anything and everything they could use to take cover. At this moment we were met by Kilrok himself, clad in a hulking suit of rustic technology that put even a Horrornought to shame. As per our usual tactics, we target it's remarkable thin ankles. Kilrok's mech fell without grace, just as the fight had began. I had the honor of cutting his skull with my flagsword. We routed the remaining Mooks out of the area and collected all the supplies we could, moving onward to our next target.
  5. Today, the KSP launched the newest rover, the Kerb 4. This rover will follow up on the Kerb 3, which uncovered evidence of life in the R&D complex. "Kerb 3 found thing none of us were expecting," said a spokeskerb for the agency. "It uncovered evidence of water in the R&D complex, and images sent back from it show what we believe to be artificial structures. Sadly, a design mishap forced us to walk out there and recover the rover." When reminded by reporters that he was getting off topic, the spokeskerb talked some more about Kerb 4. "This Rover is designed to search for lifeforms.If there's anything there, we'll find it." "There was some difficulty with the rover design. Early prototypes were nearly uncontrollable. And there were a few moments during the launch where we thought it would roll off of the launchpad. But it worked marvelously, and we estimate that it'll reach its destination in around 10 minutes. And when that happens, you'll be the first to hear."
  6. While surfing over the Uncyclopedia (cause nothing happens for now where I am) I rediscovered the legend of... The Driving Dutchman The Saga of the Driving Dutchman is a legend of a cursed camper and his spooky mobile-home. A curse condemned him to aimlessly cruise along European highways in his rusty vehicle, never to arrive anywhere until Judgment Day. Legend's Origin It was about the year 1962 when the driver of a Dutch mobile home - who, even for a Dutchman, had a neck-breaking driving style and an exquisite vocabulary of swear words - tried to pass the scene of an accident on the German autobahn A2 near Rheda-Wiedenbrück, even though the road had temporarily been cordoned off. He narrated what happened himself, according to the following traditional record: "I am not dead, nor am I yet alive. I hover between this world and the world of Spirits. Mark me. For seven hours did I try to force a passage through this accursed traffic jam, but without success; and I swore terribly. For seven more hours did I change lanes, sound my horn, flash my head lights, and shout the living soul out of my body, and yet could gain no ground; and then I blasphemed, - ay, terribly blasphemed. Yet still I persevered. The family, worn out with arduous fatigue, would have had me leave the highway at some service area or exit; but I refused; nay, more, I became a tyrant, - unintentionally, it is true, but still a tyrant. My wife opposed me, and persuaded the children to pee in the car if they absolutely had to. In the excess of my fury, I threw the doors open and kicked the children out onto the road. Even their wailing and crying did not restrain me; and I swore by the fragment of the Holy Cross, preserved in that relic now hanging round your neck, that I would gain my point in defiance of traffic jam and road closure, of fog and ice, of heaven and hell, even if I should beat about until the Day of Judgment. My oath was registered in thunder, and in streams of sulfurous fire. The car jumped forward as if it were chased by furies and slid through other cars like the unearthly shadow that it now was, and in the centre of a deep o'erhanging cloud, which shrouded all in utter darkness, were written in letters of livid flame, these words - UNTIL THE DAY OF JUDGMENT." Legends and Stories about the Driving Dutchman The Vehicle The legendary ghost car is said to have incredible abilities. In case of a traffic jam it is said to be able to run at 120 kph on the emergency lane. It is also believed it can turn invisible whenever a radar control is near. Some narratives say that it also suddenly appears somewhere driving in the wrong direction. Encounters When the Driving Dutchman appears next to another vehicle this is a terribly ominous sign. It augurs an accident in the near future or at least a hefty fine for speeding. Drivers who reported meeting the ghost car said that the camper was either empty or manned with dead people or ghosts. Some mentioned they heard desperate calls for « Lekker Boderbrodjes ! Lekker Boderbrodjes ! (Please, let us eat our delicious herring sandwiches!) » from the empty cabin. Many stories also mention a ragged figure on a bicycle passing cars in service areas and trying to sell smuggled cigarettes. An unsuspecting buyer will inevitably fall victim to a customs inspection a short time later, unless he immediately nails the contraband to the glove compartment. The Missing Operator Service area personnel tell stories of haggardly, trembling figures stumbling out of the camper in the middle of the night and using the toilets without charge. Afterwards, the sanitary equipment is in terrible shape - toilet paper is missing, as well as saltshakers, glasses and newspapers. Then the vehicle disappears again into the foggy night. One restaurant operator who stood up to the car and demanded payment was never heard of again. The Bewitched Automobile An unsuspecting traveller approached a rusty camping trailer on the Grebser Heide parking lot. He knocked and politely asked if this was the Temnitz exit. A scruffy man with a strong Dutch accent opened and invited him for a lekker Genever. When the tourist left the camper a short time later, he found himself on the Gütersloh service area some 350 km away. Distressed, he turned around, but the camper was nowhere to be seen. In the Traffic Jam In the middle of a traffic jam between the Kamener Kreuz and the Bohnen exit suddenly a decrepit mobile-home pushed through the column, sounding its horn. Through the open window someone shouted "Over board mit de Blagens! ("Overboard, you damned brats! ")" and the whimpering sound of a female voice could be heard. The Sportive Driver A driver of a sports car once tried to overtake a shabby car with a camping trailer. But regardless of how much he accelerated, the vehicle stayed right at his side, while a mocking voice could be heard jeering "Lame car, lame car!" all the time through the window. The affair ended with a ticket for 200% speeding beside a construction site. No one else had seen the camper. The Cheap Vegetables A restaurant operator on a service area was offered incredibly cheap vegetables at two o'clock on a midwinter night. After he agreed to buy some, the supplier dropped huge amounts of tomatoes, cucumbers and peppers out of his camper. When the cook wanted to take the vegetables out of cold storage the next morning, he only found piles of plastic packaging. The Soccer Fans German hooligans late at night sang a song about how they would go to the World Cup without the Netherlands. Suddenly a damned skinny guy showed up and told them they were wrong, that they would go WITH the Netherlands, but that they were going not to the world cup but directly to hell for their godless boozing. Deeply moved by this incident, the men immediately renounced alcohol and joined the Catholic church. The Driving Dutchman in literature Inspired by the legend, the poet Walter of the Hubcap composed the following lines: One single hope shall remain with me, it alone shall stand unshaken: long though the car may follow the road, it yet must rust and rot and perish. Day of Judgment! Day of doom! When will the axle give away? When will the blow of annihilation resound which shall crack the vehicle asunder? When all the parts are worn out, then shall I pass into the void. You tires asunder, cease your course! Eternal extinction take me! The original page.
  7. Okay I have a grand Idea for an animation. I can do the final editing Just need someone to animate for me. I was listening to the song "How do you like me now" by Toby Keith and got this image in my head of Either Qrow singing it to Winter or Jaune singing it to Weiss. (For those non-RWBY nerds google Jaune Arc, Weiss Schnee, Winter Schnee, and Qrow Branwen) With Ruby and Yang playing guitar. No reason just because I thought it would be hilarious. either reply to the thread or message if you would be interested.
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