totm nov 2023 Thread to discuss negative things in a very general way, just see where it goes y'know?

[Nuke]

it has now been 3 months since my last rant about office chairs. every chair made in the last 10 years seems to have the same failure modes, and not one chair manufacturer has taken steps to rectify them.  you either get a catastrophic failure of the gimbal that can crack your skull and send you to the er. or the less injurious but equally chair killing failure of the latch mechanism which keeps the back from going to far back and turns the chair into a stool, some times there is a bar type where the pin only engages one side and causes the chair to lean when the bar inevitably bends, a lopsided stool (who uses this feature anyway? it seems to serve no other purpose than to break and make the chair unusable). poor quality casters being the third but nothing you cant fix with a run to the hardware store (or in my case i have a bucket full of casters from chairs that failed to chair).

looking at name brands that i recognize (and no arbitrary strings of fullcap characters indicative of chinese brands for explort). even a perusal of the comments section on those name brands reveal the same failure modes. they are probibly also made in china except the companies care enough to make sure they dont skimp the quality to the point where it tarnishes their brand name (not that there are any left whom i trust). if were being honest, they are probibly all using the same gimbal design. there used to be a variety. one chair i had years ago had this robust cast iron gimbal that was pretty beefy (and it cracked clean through), another had a lamination of layers that used friction to clamp together, and it works until all the abrasive washers grind smooth (of course no way to replace them because they rivet the bars holding it all together). various stamped and welded sheet metal type are the most common, and also the most prone to failure (to be fair they all fail but these fail faster).

in a world where we can land a rocket on a barge or catch it with a mechazilla, build cpus one atom at a time, or cars that drive themselves, we still cannot manage to manufacture a desk chair that works. my kingdom for an amish woodworker.

Edited October 10 by Nuke

[Kerbalsaurus]

I’ve been getting really mad about all the unnecessary discourse about Hurricane Milton online. It’s always a specific kind of person too, people who pretend that Germany is some kind of Utopia or something (that’s not a dig at Germans, I’m very mad at a specific type of person). They’re saying so much stuff about how “something like this would never happen there” or whatever, and how awful America must be because they weren’t prepared for a literal natural disaster. Why is it that even in the most tragic situations, people just can’t put their political or nationalist differences aside and just stop talking?

[Chemp]

2 hours ago, Kerbalsaurus said:

I’ve been getting really mad about all the unnecessary discourse about Hurricane Milton online. It’s always a specific kind of person too, people who pretend that Germany is some kind of Utopia or something (that’s not a dig at Germans, I’m very mad at a specific type of person). They’re saying so much stuff about how “something like this would never happen there” or whatever, and how awful America must be because they weren’t prepared for a literal natural disaster. Why is it that even in the most tragic situations, people just can’t put their political or nationalist differences aside and just stop talking?

I don't know why people would say that.

https://www.dw.com/en/death-toll-rises-above-100-in-german-floods-as-it-happened/a-58284256

This happened three years ago. This year, several people in neighbouring Austria lost their lives due to the heavy rain and flooding. The sad truth is that no country is safe from natural disasters

[DDE]

5 hours ago, Kerbalsaurus said:

It’s always a specific kind of person too, people who pretend that Germany is some kind of Utopia or something (that’s not a dig at Germans, I’m very mad at a specific type of person). They’re saying so much stuff about how “something like this would never happen there”

What, you mean salty fans of the High Seas Fleet? Because they must totally regret Germany not having a longer seaboard /s

Basically, yes, this style of xenopatriot is pretty commonplace and universal. Orwell explained them as the consequence of backlash against jingoism that made it impossible to express chest-pounding pride over one's own country, so they do it for a different one, and either don't know better, or can afford to lie blatantly (in the case he was most concerned about, they wore the glasses pictured below).

Spoiler

A related and oerhaps overlapping kind of people basically overlook any disadvantages of their fetish because they're also using entire countries as a rhetorical cudgel over their own pet peeves.

[Nuke]

14 hours ago, Kerbalsaurus said:

I’ve been getting really mad about all the unnecessary discourse about Hurricane Milton online. It’s always a specific kind of person too, people who pretend that Germany is some kind of Utopia or something (that’s not a dig at Germans, I’m very mad at a specific type of person). They’re saying so much stuff about how “something like this would never happen there” or whatever, and how awful America must be because they weren’t prepared for a literal natural disaster. Why is it that even in the most tragic situations, people just can’t put their political or nationalist differences aside and just stop talking?

its katrina all over again. except a different party is at the tiller. any politician in office usually spends their entire first term trying to get re-elected. so its no wonder none of them bother to plan for the predictable reoccurring disasters. the netherlands dont have this problem and they are mostly below sea level.

[Nuke]

12 hours ago, Chemp said:

I don't know why people would say that.

https://www.dw.com/en/death-toll-rises-above-100-in-german-floods-as-it-happened/a-58284256

This happened three years ago. This year, several people in neighbouring Austria lost their lives due to the heavy rain and flooding. The sad truth is that no country is safe from natural disasters

no but hurricane/tornado/rainy seasons happen annually. there is no excuse for not having a plan when certain disasters occur regularly. good planning is the difference between storm season and disaster.

[AlamoVampire]

My world since my momma died has been pure hell and pure stress. Its coming up on 3 weeks since she passed, over a week and a half since i buried her and im watching as things i relied on get unceremoniously torn away and discarded by her executor with no compassion for the trauma that i have just experienced as i lost the one person whose love for me was unwavering and unconditional, the trauma of burying her and now in the week leading up to my first birthday without her which leads instantly into a trip ive been planning a year for he unilaterally clips off the tools i relied on to survive. I knew theyd need clipped but for crying out loud, all of them in one day and leaving me crippled before my birthday and trip saying to basically figure it out??? I mean im already freaked out at having lost the one parent who never treated me like an inconvenience or who had to be guilted into supporting their own child as they try to process the loss of a parent… im also trying to cope with the fact my birthday is a WEEK OUT and my momma is gone… now ive got to deal with this? Im at my emotional limit if not past it for what i can take… im not sure what to do or anything.

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Im genuinely scared and afraid. I am basically alone. I used to not fear tomorrow, now im terrified by it. What the future holds, i know not. What my part in it will be or if a part is to be had i do not know anymore. Ive never known uncertainty like this. I want my momma. I want her to hug me and tell me it will be ok. But i cant have that. Im lost, im scared, and ive never felt more alone. Will i be ok? Can someone hug me and help quiet and comfort the young boy i was that is crying inconsolably?

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Edited October 12 by AlamoVampire

[SunlitZelkova]

1 hour ago, AlamoVampire said:

Will i be ok? Can someone hug me and help quiet and comfort the young boy i was that is crying inconsolably?

You'll be okay. *gives hug across cyberspace*

[AlamoVampire]

7 minutes ago, SunlitZelkova said:

You'll be okay. *gives hug across cyberspace*

I instantly began bawling seeing your reply. I feel a little less alone right now. <breaks down into a sobbing puddle>
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[Singhnaut]

13 hours ago, AlamoVampire said:

I instantly began bawling seeing your reply. I feel a little less alone right now. <breaks down into a sobbing puddle>
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Hey man. I know its been a while since I’ve been online, but know that if you need anything I’ll always be here. I don’t post often anymore but I still check my notifications. When I saw your message my heart instantly dropped. I’ve always known you as a fun-loving guy and it pains me to see you like this. If you need anything at all, just let me know (I know I said this on your status update but its important to me that you know I’m here if you need me…)

[Nuke]

i know ive been avoiding the whole thing since my relationship with my mom is not great. and at some point she will either be too much for me to handle or will be gone, and i will have nothing to show for my years of caregiving but a funeral bill and an uncertain future. you have my condolences and at some point my understanding.

anyway i came to complain about hack-a-day again. they put up an article declaring that they will join the ranks of the thought police and crack down on "negative" comments. then proceeded to delete over 100 posts of what was mostly constructive criticism of a blatantly inflammatory article. its clear they no longer embrace the values core to the hacker/maker community by attacking same. now im debating removing their icon from my bookmarks bar. but that really doesnt stack up with losing your mom, so im gonna stop there.

[AlamoVampire]

Tomorrow is 3 weeks since I lost her. Im as lost today as I was that night. Next friday i turn 43. I dont want to. The next day I have renfair at TRF’s 50th anniversary. I had planned this a year ago. Got my ticket a day after they went on sale in may. I was looking forward to it. Now? Im not. Im still going, but its not going to be near as fun. Diverting? Yes. Fun? Doubt it. Thank you all for being here for me.

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[AlamoVampire]

3 weeks. Im still in disbelief, in pain. I miss my Momma so much. 201710132024

[Fizzlebop Smith]

2 hours ago, AlamoVampire said:

3 weeks. Im still in disbelief, in pain. I miss my Momma so much. 201710132024

Have you looked into any grief counseling or anything Alamo?
You will never have the pain excised but there are people out there better equipped at teaching us the tools to move forward.  Grief is a river that will drown you if you let it, it is important that you reach out to establish / reestablish physical connections. Some of my best friends are people i have never met in person, I am not disparaging digital friendships... just expressing concern.
If i miss several meetings in a row.. those friends I have made in digital spaces (often) lack the ability to act on their concern. We cannot come over and beat on your door.

(502 Double Post)

There are definitely people here willing to listen & respond. 

If you feel comfortable give your best digital friend your IRL phone number.. in case we don't see you for a couple days 

Edited October 14 by Fizzlebop Smith

[NexusHelium]

45 minutes ago, Fizzlebop Smith said:

Grief is a river that will drown you if you let it, it is important that you reach out to establish / reestablish physical connections.

Absolutely. Struggles are certainly hard and horrible to go through. It feels like you're alone and you might try to be but you DEFINITELY don't have to be. The hard times in my life where I lost people were absolutely heart wrenching to experience or to go through with the person experiencing the lost, but I'm glad that there were other people there to support me or that I was there to support someone else.

I can say from experience that loss is terrible. It feels like total crap and you might get mad at people telling you that things will get better (I certainly did). I can't say that they will but I can tell you in good faith that it helps to not isolate yourself.

I can also say from experience on both sides that not only does it feel comforting to not have to suffer alone, but the people that would be there to help you WANT to help you with more than everything they have to give. Almost no one wants to see another human being suffer without being able to do something about it, and, at least in my case, they will go out of their way to help them in a way that makes them feel comfortable with how I might be helping them while also making them feel not alone.

Point is you don't EVER have to feel like you're alone. There is always SOMEONE in the world who wants to help you either after hearing about your struggles or already knowing about them.

Much hugs and support to you @AlamoVampire. We're always and will always be here for you <3

Edited October 14 by NexusHelium

[AlamoVampire]

Well the last two weeks have been trying to say the least. Day prior to my bday car accident, then my 43rd bday 10 days ago, first since losing my mom, then ren fair, and forum breaks a few days before all of that… im ready to not be a target of abuse from the universe. 221210282024

[tater]

RIP, best girl.

[AlamoVampire]

@tater im sorry for your loss. Dunno if this will help but heres a poem by an unknown author. Its called The Rainbow Bridge

“Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing They each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. Hs bright eyes are intent. Hs eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together...
Author Unknown“

 

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[Gargamel]

@tateryou have my deepest sympathies.   I’ve been through this myself, and we’re about to again this week.    
 

Her cat of 16 years is now on palliative care.   She’s ok for now, kidney failure, but the end is nigh, days at most probably.  
 

It’ll be a rough period for her, us, but life goes on, and we’ll always have their memories.   Albeit, mine will be of being hissed at and scratched when I tried to pet her, but she was ours.   
 

You might have multiple dogs or cats throughout your life, but usually you’ll be their entire life.   Just remember you gave them the best you could and they were loved, and they knew that.  

[tater]

9 minutes ago, Gargamel said:

I’ve been through this myself, and we’re about to again this week.    

So sorry to hear it.

Yeah, it always sucks. You sort of forget they are elderly since your relationship with them is more like they are your kid (dependent on you for everything), and maybe that's why it hits hard.

[AlamoVampire]

@Gargamel you have my sympathies.

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[DDE]

Keeled over last Friday with some generic cold-like infection, mostly recovered by Monday... or so I thought. About an hour of continuous talking later, I realize I've got all-out laryngitis. I soldiered on for another day, and even a day later I can soeak barely above a whisper. It's... rather novel.

[AlamoVampire]

Im sitting here watching youtube and i just feel empty. Its Halloween, a holiday as a kid I absolutely lived for. I just cant find the joy that I used to. Its my first Halloween in my life, my FULL life, 1981-2023 I had my birthday and halloween, thanksgiving, christmas and new years with my mom. Sure you could say that since I was 3 days old when she adopted me my birth in 81 doesnt count but i say it does. She knew I existed so it counts. Today in 2024? Birthday on the 18th? No momma, halloween? No momma. She was my North Star, my beacon, the light by which I charted my course. I am so lost with out her. Seeing the holidays (today too) coming im just not ok. Im feeling so alone. I still have not come to terms with this and the holidays make it worse.

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[DeadJohn]

@AlamoVampire I don't frequent this thread but condolences on your loss. It's hitting you harder than you can handle alone and there's no shame in that.

Consider grief counseling - professional if your finances allow, clergy if you believe in that, or maybe an informal facebook group that meets near home. If whatever you pick isn't helping don't give up, try something different.

[DeadJohn]

Adding my own minor negativity to this post, my car was in a minor collision a few days ago. While I was stopped at a stop sign.  No injuries.

"Rear ended?" you might be thinking. Nope, almost head on by another driver making a sloppy left turn in front of me.

At first I was obsessing over what I could have done differently. The answer is "nothing". Photos of our 2 cars facing nose-to-nose on my side of the street already convinced my insurer that I'm not at fault. I've still got to wait for repairs, but it's likely that my insurance won't increase and I might even get reimbursed for my deductible.