Dirkidirk Posted April 1, 2020 Share Posted April 1, 2020 (edited) On 3/31/2020 at 9:49 PM, Wildcat111 said: Obi-Wan Kerman-lost the high ground Obi-Wan was one day hiking across a large forest, when he came across a dangerous wild animal that looks quite similar to a small, hairless bear, that can run 19 miles per hour. fortunately, wan was a good climber, a much better climber then the red bear, and after 7 hours of waiting on the tall tree the hungry animal decided to find something else to eat. the relived kerbal then decided to climb back down, where the bear was still waiting, hiding behind some bushes. Obi-wan was soon facing the bear, who left him no choice, he lifted his GREEN lightsaber, which the bear responded to by lifting his own, RED light saber. the two fought valiantly, as a nearby volcano erupted, filling the forest with lava. The fight ended up with Obi-Wan on the top of a hill, the bear on the bottom. Obi-Wan said "I have the high ground Anakin", however, the bear used THE FORCE, to knock down a nearby tree, unbeknownst to Wan, the tree fell just inches from him, and exploded into flame, knocking him from the high ground, and into a field of lava. Obi-Wan kerman would later become dath vabar, and ruled the galaxy with a democratic fist. wait he is supposed to die? um, ok, dath vabar was later killed by luk ska kerman. Edited April 2, 2020 by Dirkidirk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HansonKerman Posted April 2, 2020 Share Posted April 2, 2020 Ker Mann - just raging in general Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dirkidirk Posted April 2, 2020 Share Posted April 2, 2020 17 minutes ago, HansonKerman said: Ker Mann - just raging in general dang it, I forgot to write the name of a victim. Ker Mann, the only kerbal to be given a hilarious name, was autistically raging at his world of warcraft. all of that smashing of the keyboard and such, caused sparks to ignite his table. his parents arrived to find the house burned down. dolongolong kerman - loving corn, which if you didn't know, is the best vegetable, and if you disagree, dol will find you, and he will kill you. (yes he thinks corn is a vegetable) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HansonKerman Posted April 2, 2020 Share Posted April 2, 2020 nobody gets my jokes so, 14 minutes ago, Dirkidirk said: dolongolong Kerman was busy picking corn, when his puppy came up and tugged his glove. ”I’m picking my favorite vegetable!” 16 minutes ago, Dirkidirk said: dolongolong said, continuing. He looked at his dog, who was holding a poster that said ENHANCED CORN TESTING: COME NOW FOR SAMPLES OF ENHANCED CORN “o oooo ooooooh!” he said. He got in his scooter and was driving there when the scooter caught on a rock. He tripped and got off, and started walking. Suddenly, he slipped on his own poster and died. h kerman - attempting to beat Whitney without the in game trade machop Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mars-Bound Hokie Posted April 22, 2020 Author Share Posted April 22, 2020 Nothing happened; "H Kerman" was an alias. Yuri Kerman will freeze to death on Eeloo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dirkidirk Posted April 22, 2020 Share Posted April 22, 2020 (edited) 2 hours ago, Mars-Bound Hokie said: Nothing happened; "H Kerman" was an alias. Yuri Kerman will freeze to death on Eeloo. Yuri and his buddies were going to eeloo for a winter holiday, when the kraken attacked, destroying much of the 14 kiloton ship, and leaving him in a lander on a direct course to the core of the ice ball. He decelerated all he could, but was still approaching at 1 km per second, and he braced for impact. Yuri later woke up to find that he was still alive, but he couldn't see anything, the power running out hours earlier. He felt around for the door to the capsule and opened it, letting a billion particles of pulverized ice inside. Yuri Kerman wasn't ready to die yet. he knew that a kerbal eva pack has a very high range on eeloo, and at this time of year, he was bound to find someone, as long as he reached the surface. He jumped headfirst into the chunky ice, and dug and "swimmed" and crawled up. 30 minutes later he was still in the ice, and Yuri wondered if he was just not making much progress, or if the command module was much deeper in the ice than he thought. 4 hours later he was exhausted, and convinced that he was in a nightmare, then his eva suit ran out of power, and he started to get cold. thommy kerman - searching the wreckage with his crew. Edited April 22, 2020 by Dirkidirk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fulgur Posted April 23, 2020 Share Posted April 23, 2020 A gigantic pile of struts and fuel, assisted by Vector engines, had done the usual at 10km altitude. Most of the wreckage came flaming down over the Island Airfield where Thommy Kerman had just put down in a top-of-the-range jet, one engine of which promptly snapped off. He searched through the flaming, mangled wreckage only to find a large Vector engine! As he lifted it up to put on his craft however, a recovery helicopter landed on top of the Vector he lifted above his head, squashing him inside the engine bell. Six hours later he was declared 'lost' and the helicopter flew back to the KSC. Thommy now used that vector, some bits of fuel and sheets of slightly mangled steel to create a "plane". However this plane did the usual and he fell three kilometers down near the runway, only to survive! The Vector engine then fell on him. Asthin Kerman, faking Mun landings on a soundstage on Duna. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HansonKerman Posted April 24, 2020 Share Posted April 24, 2020 he got sued. nuff said N Kerman, who was panic buying for the Koronavirus On 4/2/2020 at 11:48 AM, Dirkidirk said: corn is a vegetab but it is Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dirkidirk Posted April 24, 2020 Share Posted April 24, 2020 (edited) 9 hours ago, HansonKerman said: but it is exactly 9 hours ago, HansonKerman said: N Kerman, who was panic buying for the Koronavirus N kerman was zooming to the store, hitting multiple kaps and children along the way (they lived). upon arrival he immediately grabbed as much stuff as possible and shoved it into the cart, but while grabbing The last Concan Snaccbar™ in the entire store, he realized that around 50-79 kerbals were staring at the bar in his hand, and he ran. zooming and zooming, N was too busy looking at the mob running after him and he crashed into a large shelf, he fell over, and the kerbals piled onto him. But what's this, a pokeball in his pocket? "Hippowdon GUO!" he yelled, and the 100 kerbals before him brought out their own pokeballs! "<insert pokemon> GOU!" "<insert pokemon> GO!" "<insert pokemon> GOY!" "<insert pokemon> GYO!" emanated through the supermart, and it seemed like he was going to lose. But just just then the store staff all came to N's side, throwing balls on the ground! "<insert pokemon> GOU!" "<insert pokemon> GO!" "<insert pokemon> GOY!" "<insert pokemon> GYO!" emanated through the supermart, and the manager pressed some button that turned the entire store to a massive arena!11!!!1!!1!!!! it was insane, kerbals and massive splodes were flying everywhere! "OMG IS THAT A, AHHH-" *PWAASHSHHSHHH* "PIKACHU USE ELECTRO-BALL!" *ZAPAPUS ZAP!!!1!* while wernher was driving to the store, he saw how it was getting torn up. "nope", he thought, and moved on. at what was supposed the next store, he saw instead a large pokemon arena. "it looks like fun in there, but i'm supposed to get rocket supplies and gaming rigs before orbit, not waste time fighting over cleaning supplies or whatever they're doing over there", and he drove of. *spwash* "EEEE- " *SPLASH!*, But while N's Tentacruel was kicking anus and tail, a <that one pokemon that looks like a pokeball and blows you up> came up to him and blew him to kingdom come, home? I forgot. wernher von kerman - in orbit, away from the korona below. Edited April 25, 2020 by Dirkidirk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HansonKerman Posted April 25, 2020 Share Posted April 25, 2020 7 hours ago, Dirkidirk said: that one pokemon that looks like a pokeball and blows you up Voltorb/Electrode (upside down tho) that escalated way farther than just panic buying, though it might as well be. so, Wernher was in orbit, with his best science equipment attempting to figure out a cure for korona IN PEACE, without needing to go to the store for supplies and being mobbed on the off chance he got the last GRAV-MAX or whatever. However, during random experiments at wondering why korona depictions were so much like Poké Balls (here we go again, totally not recycling), it turned into a Voltorb and exploded. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dirkidirk Posted April 25, 2020 Share Posted April 25, 2020 (edited) johnknee kerman - taking a stupid and decade old joke that I only know about because of some animation that I forgot the name of, *INHALES*, in the knee. Edited April 25, 2020 by Dirkidirk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HansonKerman Posted April 25, 2020 Share Posted April 25, 2020 what? um i didn’t get the wording of that at all so um pOP Kerman: using GPP Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dirkidirk Posted April 26, 2020 Share Posted April 26, 2020 (edited) 7 hours ago, HansonKerman said: what? um i didn’t get the wording of that at all so um pOP Kerman: using GPP what's a GPP? johnknee kerman - petting aliens Edited April 26, 2020 by Dirkidirk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HansonKerman Posted April 26, 2020 Share Posted April 26, 2020 7 minutes ago, Dirkidirk said: what's a GPP pleas fufil reqes o b elimenate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mars-Bound Hokie Posted April 26, 2020 Author Share Posted April 26, 2020 11 minutes ago, Dirkidirk said: johnknee kerman - petting aliens Johnknee Kerman was a scientist exploring Laythe's Crater Island (15* 20' 30" N, 65* 22' 24" W), where several animals were photographed in a recon flight. One small dog-like animal in particular caught his attention, then he went over to pet it. Little did he know that it was not only a baby, but its vicious mother was nearby. Johnknee was mauled in seconds, dying after the mother's 20-centimeter claws pierced his heart through his EVA suit. Dr. Kendall Kerman will die from koronavirus. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stamp20 Posted May 3, 2020 Share Posted May 3, 2020 On 4/25/2020 at 8:38 PM, Mars-Bound Hokie said: Johnknee Kerman was a scientist exploring Laythe's Crater Island (15* 20' 30" N, 65* 22' 24" W), where several animals were photographed in a recon flight. One small dog-like animal in particular caught his attention, then he went over to pet it. Little did he know that it was not only a baby, but its vicious mother was nearby. Johnknee was mauled in seconds, dying after the mother's 20-centimeter claws pierced his heart through his EVA suit. Dr. Kendall Kerman will die from koronavirus. Dr. Kendall discovered the first Koronavirus kase while working as a doctor in Khina, and died after catching it. The disease quickly started to spread. Mitcott Kerman - Koronavirus Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kerbiloid Posted May 3, 2020 Share Posted May 3, 2020 A notebook falls on a Kerbal's head. Kerbal's dead. A death note. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VoidCosmos Posted May 3, 2020 Share Posted May 3, 2020 Jeb dies of loling. The End Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler L O L Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dirkidirk Posted May 3, 2020 Share Posted May 3, 2020 wut. zanob kerman - quarantine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HansonKerman Posted May 4, 2020 Share Posted May 4, 2020 (edited) granted. Zanob was in quarantine for moar than a week. mmm kema - bas spling Edited July 16, 2020 by HansonKerman (Bad spelling) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GRS Posted May 31, 2020 Share Posted May 31, 2020 "mmm kema" can't spell "Strategy" properly, and was killed by Grammar Guardians. Kerbal Kerman - Starting a Space Program. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mars-Bound Hokie Posted July 13, 2020 Author Share Posted July 13, 2020 Kerbal Kerman needed to prove to his investors that his new space program was capable of achieving LKO or better. This meant he either had to build a rocket that can deliver a small payload and at least one man or build a spaceplane. Since he was tight on cash and not that skilled in aerodynamics, he decided to build the rocket himself. Unfortunately, in his stimulant-induced construction streak, he got several wires misplaced which caused the rocket to explode when he released the launch clamps. When his investors returned to see his presentation, all they saw was his charred-up corpse inside what was left of a poorly-designed rocket. George Kerman will die after being struck by a car. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HansonKerman Posted July 14, 2020 Share Posted July 14, 2020 (edited) George was doing his shenanigans in a jet powered panther car when he accidentally drove into a hole. in fact, this hole actually led to one of the largest cities on kerbin. his car exploded, and like a sword, one of the air intakes (they were the long and small radial intakes) spun out of control and struck George in the face Jake Kerman - surveying the wreckage of Jeb’s car Edited July 16, 2020 by HansonKerman autocorrect. How it could correct George to Jeb is a happy accident. I like that my spellcheck recognizes “Jeb”. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stamp20 Posted July 15, 2020 Share Posted July 15, 2020 Jake was surveying the wreckage up close when a fuel leak caused an explosion, killing Jake in the process. VAB Engineer #184: Rocket collapse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HansonKerman Posted July 16, 2020 Share Posted July 16, 2020 VAB Engineer #184 was in a meeting with VAB Engineer #189 and Wernher von Kerman when the patented Klamperture Science Rocket Lifting Devices (a.k.a. magic floating) suddenly stopped working. It was only a few fuel tanks, a decoupler, and a lander, but it was pretty high up as it was going to be an Eve lander. It fell at an alarming rate, and though most were not hurt, Wernher and Engineer #189, as well as Engineer #419 who was passing by were all knocked out. Engineer #184 was tragically killed. Lrmprjrnrhrjndkwr Kerman - having an unpronounceable name. (I checked that random key mashing to make sure there were no vowels) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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