Feel like I might get stuck with bad friends?

[Cloakedwand72]

Anyone feel like he/she might get stuck with bad friends either be stuck with the “Alpha” type friends or get stuck with the creeps & or dull people or even stuck with the whining crowd? Or unintentionally surrounded entrapped bye people with bad ideology’s like being stuck with the bully red pill/MGTOW crowd sorta deal?

Edited April 12, 2020 by Cloakedwand72

[Spacescifi]

8 hours ago, Cloakedwand72 said:

Anyone feel like he/she might get stuck with bad friends either be stuck with the “Alpha” type friends or get stuck with the creeps & or dull people or even stuck with the whining crowd? Or unintentionally surrounded entrapped bye people with bad ideology’s like being stuck with the bully red pill/MGTOW crowd sorta deal?

 

What?

If you want to attract a certain type of friend then you must BE that type of friend first.

If you want to marry a certain ideal of a lady then you must try your best to live up to that same ideal as a guy.

Like attracts like.

That's the best I can give without violating forum rules.

 

Edited April 12, 2020 by Spacescifi

[Nuke]

neither a leader nor a follower be. omega or bust. 

[Superfluous J]

On 4/11/2020 at 11:27 PM, Cloakedwand72 said:

Anyone feel like he/she might get stuck with bad friends either be stuck with the “Alpha” type friends or get stuck with the creeps & or dull people or even stuck with the whining crowd? Or unintentionally surrounded entrapped bye people with bad ideology’s like being stuck with the bully red pill/MGTOW crowd sorta deal?

<snip>

No. I don't. If I don't like someone they're not my friend, and I stop hanging out with them. If I do like someone (and they like me of course) they are my friend and I continue to hang out with them.

There is no subset of people who are not people I want to hang out with, that I hang out with.

I suggest you do the same and you'll be fine.

(Same goes for romantic relationships btw)

Edited April 13, 2020 by Geonovast
referncing removed content

[Nuke]

some of the most interesting people ive met have always been society's rejects. unfortunately they usually have such a low view of themselves, or worse are outright narcissists (sometimes both) that they either too good for or you are you are not good enough for them. the more normal types tend to go for the safe bet. they tend to have such a low tolerance for anything but other normals and thus end up in boring safe lives where nothing can ever go wrong. i feel sorry for them sometimes. and these days to get anyones attention you need to set off a nuke near by so all their phones get emped just to get them to frantically ask eachother if they have any bars, never mind the incoming blast wave. people are often not worth the trouble.

theres this large viking woman (im 6'4" and shes still taller than me and pleasantly plump) that im interested in, but i cant get her eyes off her screen for 2 seconds to ask her out. shes one of 5 women on the island in my age bracket (late thirties) and the only one that single as far as i can tell. i even made her brownies once but it turns out shes diabetic (and a bit bipolar but that's not a deal breaker). she even plays the drums so between the two of us that like an entire black metal band. i mean its her or one of the 40+ gals that keep oogling me, im kind of starting to get interested in the cat lady. 

Edited April 13, 2020 by Nuke

[TheSaint]

8 hours ago, Nuke said:

theres this large viking woman (im 6'4" and shes still taller than me and pleasantly plump) that im interested in, but i cant get her eyes off her screen for 2 seconds to ask her out. shes one of 5 women on the island in my age bracket (late thirties) and the only one that single as far as i can tell. i even made her brownies once but it turns out shes diabetic (and a bit bipolar but that's not a deal breaker). she even plays the drums so between the two of us that like an entire black metal band. i mean its her or one of the 40+ gals that keep oogling me, im kind of starting to get interested in the cat lady. 

This has the makings of an awesome Netflix series....

[Geonovast]

<moderator>

          A good deal of content has been removed for being off topic and skirting the line of personal attacks.

          Keep it on topic, keep it courteous, and keep away from making assumptions about other forum members.

          Thank you.

</moderator>

 

Personally, I think it's best to not keep friends just for the sake of having friends.  All through my childhood I hung out with people who were actually rather nasty to me.  But they wanted me around, I just didn't understand truly why until I was a bit older, and it was definitely detrimental to my mental health.  I likely missed out on real friendships with kids who weren't 'cool'. Don't let anyone bully you into being their 'friend'.  If people are bad for you, cut them out.  It might seem like a bad idea at first, but friendship isn't a numbers game, and popularity is about as meaningless as social constructs come.  As nuke said, go find the outcasts and talk them up.  They could be quite interesting and are way more likely to become someone you value, and who values you.

[Spacescifi]

 

No true relationship stays static. People either drift apart or draw closer over time.

And if it is a static,  unchanging relationship, something or someone may not want to draw closer or... they only want the other person around for reasons that are'nt true friendship. Basically using.

This is not always the case, just some of the time.

 

Edited April 13, 2020 by Spacescifi

[p1t1o]

On 4/12/2020 at 5:27 AM, Cloakedwand72 said:

Anyone feel like he/she might get stuck with bad friends either be stuck with the “Alpha” type friends or get stuck with the creeps & or dull people or even stuck with the whining crowd? Or unintentionally surrounded entrapped bye people with bad ideology’s like being stuck with the bully red pill/MGTOW crowd sorta deal?

Friends and relationships are hard, thats the bottom line. None of us are actually *expert* at it, we all are muddling through. Not one of us is certain we are doing everything right.

But the thing that sticks out for me here, is the idea that you can be "stuck with" friends you dont like. Maybe examine that thought pathway and see how you ended up there.

I dont know really, how to make more friends from scratch, out of nowhere - other than simply meet more people. All I can say is that the people that I like most, I stay in contact with, the people I like less, I fall out of touch with.