Kerbalnaut TORTURE CHALLENGE

[I_Killed_Jeb]

Hello all twisted builders!! We've launched kerbals at hypersonic speeds, built deliberately deadly, unflyable aircraft, sent hapless kerbalnauts somersaulting through Kerbin, sending courageous, stupid kerbals to their deaths at every possible opportunity. NOW, a new challenge - your goal is to cause a kerbal as much pain as possible without killing them. They may beg. Oh yes, they'll beg, but you are to take them to the edge of sweet relief but NO FURTHER. Pointless? Maybe. Kind of weird? Probably. AWESOMELY EVIL? ABSOLUTELY. Possibly, one can justify this is as a kerbalnaut training/toughening/hazing mechanism. Possibly..

The Rules

1. Build an extreme contraption, the more complicated the better, that will cause Kerbalnauts pain, but does not kill them

2. However, an optional, deadly, "sweet release" mechanism is allowed

3. Contraption must be able to function for a significant (>2 min) amount of time

4. Pain must be objectively measurable (get creative! G force? Temp? Never ending cycle of drop-elevate-drop-elevate? Sheer boredom?)

5. Kerbal(s) being tortu... strengthened cannot escape except via "sweet release" as in Rule 2.

6. All mods allowed

7. Screenshots required

8. Bonus points for observers

9. Not limited to KSC or stationary machines

10. Machines that require constant manual input disallowed; once set into motion the pain should require mere observation

Scoring

1. There can only be one Sith Lord at a time.

2. Becoming Sith Lord is simple; if an entry is more AWESOME and EVIL than the current Lord's device, then the sitting Lord must abdicate to the challenger. Should he refuse, the challenger may request a FACE-OFF.

3. FACE-OFF: Two torture chambers enter, one chamber leaves. The victor is determined simply - whichever device functions for longer is the winner. HOWEVER, the following caveats apply - the time is multiplied by number of PAIN-causing parameters (e.g. if your machine is spinning around a kerbal at 10Gs while subjecting him to 300 degrees of heat, then your time gets multiplied by two). Also, if the two entries cause the same kind of pain, then the entry which causes more gets to multiply its time by the ratio of PAIN. (e.g. if my spinner reaches 10G while a challenger's reaches 5G, then my time gets multiplied by 2.)

4. The most preferred way of determining the current Lord is Rule 2.

The TRUTH CAULDRON

A basic concept to hopefully get people's juices flowing

[neamerjell]

Puke-o-Matic 9000: If this doesn't break you, you are either very courageous, very stupid, or both!

It generates G-Forces so high that it flung one of the large fuel tanks and a Mainsail engine clean off!

Jeb is a masochistic Kerbal - he's actually ENJOYING it!

Edited October 22, 2013 by neamerjell

[Forestgreenstaff]

Can we get some acceleration readings there?

http://ribbons.cgagnier.ca/image.php?ribbon=19208' alt='image.php?ribbon=19208'>}

[ihtoit]

that looks EVIL. Where'd you get the rotating collars and are they .22 compatible?

[KittyProgram]

AWESOME! I may do a entry before this gets closed...

[Othuyeg]

I came across this challenge and thought about it for a while. I wondered what could be a kerbal's weakness. And then it hit me. As far as I know they do not posess the capability of shutting their eyelids.

Therefore, it could be rather uncomfortable to be exposed to something very bright. And my bright idea was indeed a bright one. I could harness the power of fusion. The largest light bulb of the solar system was within my reach. So we constructed the Kerbolic Boiler, codename Kerboiler.

To get there we did use some experimental technology however we believe that in this case it was justified. Atleast Rodford Kerman seems to be happy with the results as he observes the interns from the comfort of his "Observatorium" with a refreshing soda in his cup holder.

As they orbit around the sun in altitudes as low as 15 kilometers, their retinae are cooked, their cells mutated by the radiation and their bodies being torn apart by the gravity. And I did not equip them with any sunscreen or sunglasses. I did give them an option of ending it all. All they have to do is simply let go of their seats or open their visors.

Edit: I may add, there is NO escape. The orbit is stable and there is no way for them to escape it. The doors to the safe observatorium have been locked from the inside.

Edited March 11, 2014 by Othuyeg

[cyberklad]

This thing is capable of a variable amount of cooking. At max setting it will kill the kerbal. And it has a cooking time from 3h to about 9houers. Any kerbal that survives 9 houers on the bake setting has they heat centre burned out of their brains and is ready to go take a close look at the sun after.

[Xaiier]

Jebediah Kerman laughs in the face of nuclear exhaust.

[ihtoit]

Random Kerbal (actually it's Bartdred) does a close inspection of a Poseidon's Revenge engine on the way to becoming a chargrill.

I mean, on the way to rescuing some friends who are about to become chargrills.

(answering the Starflight One challenge)

(these things don't have a habit of yanno, spontaneously firing, do they?)

[Othuyeg]

The management in the recruitment and training facilities have been complaining how kerbalnauts who have performed less than magnificiently have been refusing to participate in motivational activities. A common excuse for this has been that they could not find their way to the underground motivational facility. The research department put together an easy solution. Motivational training in a convenient mobile package.

http://www.twitch.tv/othuyeg/b/510207720

[vger]

You just made me realize what the LV-1 engine truly is.

An anvil.

I believe though that there is nothing that will torture a Kerbal more than denying snack access.

Edited March 11, 2014 by vger

[SSSPutnik]

Here is my entry, it is insidious.

Due to instabilities in the platform, the whole assembly wobbles around, causing the vicious spikes to tremor and vibrate as they thirst for sweet green blood.

The condemned are decanted from the hatch, then the bar of no return pushes the soul into the spikes, all whilst the machine vibrates and rocks with joy as it inflicts never ending pain!

Here Bob Kerman is tortured.

[Rainbowtrout]

Bump. I should try this soon.

[T-20000]

Today is the Friday the 13th, so I tortured Jeb in a horrible way (Jeb is still alive) 

[Vanamonde]

This forum does not care how old a thread is as long as the content has not been rendered obsolete by game updates, so no one wins prizes for pointing out "necros." Responses of that sort have been removed. 

[vyznev]

Well, since this thread has been resurrected, let me just drop in a fitting picture from an old post.

So, uh, lessons learned: 1) command chairs can be used to force kerbals (or at least their heads) through holes they wouldn't normally fit through, and 2) judging by the facial expressions, leaving kerbals hanging from their helmet in mid-air apparently makes them kind of uncomfortable.