Touring the Kerbin-Mun Orbital Infrastructure [with moar pics]

[Wayfare]

The previous episode, covering the Munbase and hosted by foul-mouthed space trucker Herbo Kerman, can be found

here.

A Tour of the Kerbin-Mun Orbital Infrastructure with Gunter Kerman

Or

“I vonder vere Gunter vent?â€Â

Hallo! I am Gunter Kerman und I am ze head of experimental design at ze KSP. Vell, I vill be for vone more day. Tomorrow I begin as ze head of experimental and dangerous design at ze Improbably Dangerous Experiments Agency, ze IDEA. I am so excited! Right now I am testing a mock-up for ze Minmus research facility. Ze launch pad guys bolted ze clamp over ze door. Oh, zey are so funny these guys!

Vell, vile I try to find a way out of zis thing, let me show you ze pictures of ze orbital infrastructure ve built for ze munbase, ya?

Zat strapping young man in ze spacesuit is Burlin, und he is inspecting ze bottom of ze Muncrane. It is vot brings ze heavy things down to ze munbase. Ya ya, zey dropped ze Munlab on it's side zat vone time. But zey also delivered ze contraption that put it back on it's legs, ya? So zey cool. Burlin sent me zis lovely picture from his pilot seat.

Ya, zat is ze Low Munar Orbit fuel depot, vis ze fuel tank, ze habitat module, und ze additional monopropellant tanks ve sent up a few months ago. Ya, zey like to burn zeir RCS, zose Kerbonauts. Zey are just about to dock.

Und now zey are docked! Ze depot vill refuel ze crane und zen it vill be ready for anozer cargo. It is beautiful, ya?

Ah, und here ve have ze Muntug burning back to Kerbin after delivering it's latest cargo. It makes ze trips between ze Mun und Kerbin, carrying all ze stuff ve send up. You know ze crew – it is zose magnificent spacemen Jeb, Bill und Bob! But zey are angry viz ze space program because zey only get to be tug pilots. So zey von't come on TV. Nein, zey are not happy.

Und velcome back to Kerbin! Zis is ze Low Kerbin Orbit fuel depot. It is much ze same as ze vone above ze Mun, ya, but is very much more easy to bring up ze fuel for this. Ze Muntug can bring a cargo to ze Mun und make it back here vit a bit of fuel to spare. It makes ze whole operation very manageable.

Vot you say? Oh, zat siren? Ya ya, you are in luck! Ve are about to test ze Kerbin-Assembled Ballistic Launch Assistance Module to Minmus Orbit! It is vone of ze expirments I vill be running vit IDEA. I can just see it from ze vindow! You go over and have a look, ya?

Ya, spectacular! It vill have more vays to adjust ze trajectory of course. Ve vant to test out multiple solid booster-propelled payloads at various angles to see vat makes it to orbit und vat does not. In Minmus' low gravity it... KRRRRSSSSSHHHH... also test RCS-powered rov... KRRRSHHHHHHH... KRRSH...

KRRRRRSSSSSSSSSH... you [bLEEP] hear that?... KRRRSSSSH... a [bLEEP] cannon! Oh come on, our transmitter is way more powerful than theirs... KRRRRRRRRRSSSSSSHHHH...

“Helloooo spacefans, it's me! Jeb! Gunter you old dog, how ya been?â€Â

“Ah, Jeb my boy! Vonderful ya, just vonderful.â€Â

“You're rolling with IDEA now? They still killin' test pilots by the bucket? Haha!â€Â

“Oh Jeb you joke, you joke! Not by ze bucket. Mostly by ze crashes und ze explosions.â€Â

“You're a heartless old bastard Gunter. The Kerbal Aerospace Widow's Association wants to have a word with you. Haha! I'm kidding, you're OK old man. Hey! I want to shoot your space cannon!â€Â

“Vell it is not a cannon, it is a Ballistic Launch Assistance...â€Â

“It even spells KABLAMMO! You might as well have painted my name on the side! In fact, do that. We're joining IDEA, Gunter! The Muntug is yours! Bill is already on the radio with KSC and Bob's writing up his will. It'll be like old times! Remember when we broke the sound barrier? On water? Man we must have burned through a whole generation of test pilots on that one, haha!â€Â

“Ach Jeb zat is vonderful! Ve cannot afford ze Muntug, of course, it so nice of you to give us...â€Â

Well, uhm, sorry to interrupt the program folks. As the legal battle between KSC and IDEA breaks out over use of the orbital infrastructure, please stay tuned for a twelve hour live feed marathon of Truckin' With Herbo on the [bLEEP] Mun.

Yep. We still truckin'. [bLEEP]

[Wayfare]

Folks, these things take quite a bit of time to write up and the response seems to be lukewarm. What would you like me to do differently? More focus on the technical bits? Less funny accents? Bigger space cannons? You name it, I aim to please

Edited May 25, 2013 by Wayfare
typo

[paleorob]

I enjoyed it.

[PenguinNate]

I like these! Keep going, its very entertaining.

[Wayfare]

Well then, you're in luck I've just deployed the space cann... Er, Ballistic Launch Assistance Module to Minmus and I'll be firing... Er, launching payloads from it shortly. Expect a new report soonish!

[Commander Zoom]

I enjoyed it a lot, and laughed several times (including the space cannon BLAMM). Dept. of Improbably Dangerous Experiments indeed.