For Your Eyes Only: TOP SECRET!

[kiwi1960]

Good morning, Director. Please, take a seat.

The President has, against my advice, asked me to brief you on the "Jeb Incident" and all subsequent happenings. I must remind you that what you are about to see and read is marked "ultra top secret" and any breach of this secret will result in your instant arrest and or termination without trial.

Please click "I UNDERSTAND" to continue

(click)

Thank you, Director. First, the infamous "Jeb Incident" near the planet EVE. You, along with most other civilians at the time were told that Jeb Kerman had damaged his spacecraft resulting in a multi trillion dollar rescue mission. It was reported that the accident was the result of faulty hardware on the space ship. that was a lie told out of necessity.

before Jeb blasted off on that mission, he was the smartest Kerbal alive, or at least, one of them. Since his return, he has been reduced to being a gibbering idiot, more interested in shiny objects and making rash decisions without thought to the consequences. It was reported that this may be the result of the accident.

However, we, at the Kerbal Intelligence Agency, know better. We investigated every facet of this case and the conclusion is unmistakable.

This is not our Jeb, this is an imposter.

When we discovered that fact, other facts them fell into place, and a wider, more alarming situation became apparent.

Enough of the double talk, what you are about to see and hear will frighten you to the very core of your being, but it must be told. Stay strong, Director.

Roughly, about four years ago, our race was discovered by a super race of beings in an alternative universe. These aliens call themselves HUMANS and they are barely sentient.

More to the point, Director, they found that they could control us. That being the case, a group of humans called "Squad" developed a portal to our world that would allow any humans to control us, via a piece of software they call a "game". They are, with this game, able to manipulate time itself, you, for example, have probably died a million times in as many as half a million different "games".

let that sink in for a minute.

You can see the problem here, right, we have lost all control over our own destiny, we are hardly free and we have become pawns in some .... "star trek" situation. We even have evidence that entire wars have been fought using us as pawns, we are pacifist, so this is really disgusting, to think we were involved in some form of "star wars".

So, what happened to Jeb? We are not sure, but we believe that his intelligence was sucked out of his brain and placed is a device called a "mechjeb" so humans can automate the space ships containing our bodies. We did suspect that a human had replaced Jeb so we took action to discover the truth.

We inserted Valentina Kerman to keep a close eye on jeb and to ensure no mishaps took place with 'stupid" Jeb at the controls of any vessel.

Yes, what you heard is true. One of our mostly closely guarded secrets is that Valentina is an agent of the KIA.

The next fact may startle you somewhat. We believe that you are being controlled by the humans to run the K.S.P. for them. Everyone thinks that Kerbals design these great planes and space ships, but in reality, it is the humans doing the thinking for YOU and letting "you" design these ships.

The President wants you in the picture so you can help us figure out a way to stop the humans destroying our culture.

We need to find a way to close the portal between these two worlds and end our suffering, not that we really know we are suffering, but we must be. Your task is to discover what you can about this portal even though you cannot see it or sense it, it sounds impossible, but you MUST try... our very lives depends on it.

We thank you for your service and now ask that you leave before the humans notice you are missing.

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Epilogue...

The director walked slowly out of the "White House" deep in thought....

"The guys are not going to believe this, not one bit, but they must be told, but how do you tell your comrades at Squad that the kerbals are onto them?

The Director got into his car, and travelled back to KSP HQ. He entered his office, walked to the wall, pressed a hidden button.

The world dissolved around him and then, he was standing at squad HQ....

"Hey guys, you ain't going to believe this, but I think the little buggers are onto us.... "

(Part two... soon.. or maybe never.... not sure yet....)