[Writing] A Kerbal's First Spacewalk

[VincentMcConnell]

This is a Kerbal spoof which I wrote over the course of about ten minutes. It\'s very short and to the point -- being probably the most 'KERBAL' reentry you\'ve ever read about.

Anyway, this story doesn\'t have a 100% basis in fiction. During the Gemini 9 spacewalk, Cernan almost had to be cut loose and abandoned in orbit while his co-pilot would have had to reenter without him. Scary stuff! Luckily, Cernan was able to work his way back to the Gemini and get inside.

Here\'s the story of Kerbal solution to a stranded spacewalker.

A Kerbal\'s First Space Walk

By Vincent McConnell

Spacewalk I orbited above Kerbin at 71 kilometers, pushing the lowest orbit possible before the craft would sink lower and lower and burn up in the atmosphere. Onboard the mission was Jebediah Kerman, the commander, Bill Kerman, Navigator and Bob Kerman, Co-Pilot. Floating in the MK1 command pod, Mission Control soon gave the go ahead for the first Kerbal EVA. Prior to this, no spacecraft hatch had ever been opened and no Kerbal had ever been exposed to the vacuum of space with nothing but a spacesuit... Accept, of course, when the command modules of previous missions exploded violently in orbit and flung individual crew members into eternal solar sphere of influence.

Jebediah Kerman, in fact, had been killed hundreds of times, saved only by a Kerbal\'s mysterious and unknown way of somehow coming back to life on later missions. While Bill and Bob popped the hatch, it blew out violently – small amounts of air were still trapped in the CM after an incomplete depress of the cabin. As the spacecraft passed into the daylight side of the oceans off the east coast of the Kerbal Space Center, moving at over 2km/s with a period of 30 minutes, Jeb adjusted his helmet. It had been broken during the launch and the only thing holding the upper visor assembly together was several strips of duct tape that had been left in the sun too long. Bill\'s shoe lace acted as a tether to anchor Jeb to the “mothershipâ€.

Jeb drifted several meters from the hatch and tested space walking mobility as Kerbin\'s first true “kerman in space.†Using a fire extinguisher, Jeb propelled himself towards the front of the spacecraft and laughed at his swift maneuverability.

“Watch this,†Jeb radioed to his crew.

Using the extinguisher, he fired in the retrograde direction relative to the anchor point holding him to the command pod. The shoe lace broke off, stranding Jeb over the ocean momentarily. Luckily for the crew, their commander had been nicknamed “Thrillmaster†because of his eager excitement in cases of extreme danger. Unanchored to the spacecraft and floating free, Jeb worked his way back to the hatch with the primitive propulsion and got the surprise of his life when the hatch closed and wouldn\'t open. Knocking on the glass, the two crew members inside tried desperately to get the hatch open, but it was no use. They\'d have to reenter... And Jeb would have to hang on tight...

After a complete orbit, the craft made its retrograde burn, Jebediah grasping EVA handles on the service module.

“Here comes interface,†Bill said, directing his transmission at Jebediah.

“Rog,†was the only reply.

The clutching space walker smiled large and wide while he reached for the command module and swung his body along the side of it. The service module dropped off, bound for a separate – but only slightly different – return trajectory. Flames built up under the heat shield of aluminum foil layered 17 times. Effectively, reentering off the west coast of his home continent, Jeb was in between a hot metal hunk of poor engineering and 3,000 degree flames. He picked up 7 G\'s...

When the flames finally dissipated and the capsule slowed down to 250m/s, the chutes spread out like angry eagles, swooping for prey. Aside from some blackened charring on the backside of his suit, Jebediah had come through the incident surprisingly well. While recovery forces took several minutes to catch up with the non-buouyant capsule and its tissue made parachutes, Jebediah doffed his helmet and suit. The hatch opened this time – it would later be revealed that the Kerbals had simply forgotten to unlock the door while in orbit – and Jeb poked his head in.

“Ready for the next flight tomorrow?†he asked.

[HOC]

Nice! An enjoyable read