[Writing] A Totally Kerbal Launch

[VincentMcConnell]

Don\'t deny it.. You know this is totally one of your average launches... LOL

A TOTALLY KERBAL LAUNCH

By: Vincent McConnell

The engines started and throttled up to over 2,000 newtons of force. Commander Jeb Kerman wasn\'t taking Bill and Bob with him this time. Sean-lock and Bugsy sat left and right of the legendary Kerbonaut while the rocket began to climb. The large launch gantry tower promptly exploded and caught fire as the searing exhaust reduced it to a hot-lava style mixture. The pad was molten and 300 of Kerbal Space Center\'s best technicians were flung – alive – into the ocean like rag dolls. The rocket was so powerful, in fact, that during building, they didn\'t calculate for half of the thrust it would actually develop. The Vehicle Assembly building was toppled and three months worth of dangerous and explosive creations leaked toxic rocket exhaust onto the neighborhoods nearby.

“Lift off!†Jeb exclaimed, inside the rocket

He smiled as he built up four G\'s

“How can you tell?†Sean-lock asked. “I think we\'re collapsing!â€

“I can tell because every vertical facility, Kerbal, structure and piece of metal just exploded!â€

They continued on in this way until the it was time for staging. Jeb pressed a large button reading “First Stageâ€. Promptly, the first stage fell away, unbeknownst to the astronauts, with some fuel left in it. The entire booster exploded, throwing hundreds of pieces of metal into the second stage engine bell. Shrapnel peppered the grassy lands below, as the rocket had only just completed the pitch maneuver.

“Woops.†Jeb joked.

“What happened?†Bugsy yelled. “We\'re not moving!â€

“Yeah. The second stage booster just exploded. Stand by.†Jeb spoke calmly. Afterall, he was used to this sort of thing.

He turned a handle reading “abortâ€, which fired the launch escape tower, ripping the capsule away from the third stage booster, now inexplicably burning on a ballistic course towards the next continent. Almost instantaneously, the command module\'s hatch busted open,depressurizing the cabin at an altitude of 30KM, where the pressure is low enough to kill a Kerbal. Jeb, Sean-lock and Bugsy pressurized their suits immediately and hung on tight to their straps to avoid falling out of the hatch.

“Hey look!†Jeb laughed. “We\'re in zero-G.â€

Free-fall had its effect on random nuts and bolts now floating around the capsule, suspended in mid air. After passing their Apokee, the command module should have deployed its parachutes, but fortunately they were ripped out during the instant cabin depress.

“Brace yourselves, fellas.†Jeb said.

They pushed back in their seats and slammed into the water doing 119m/s. The entire pod was nearly disintegrated, but Jeb and his fellow explorers suffered nothing but being flung 50 feet. When he surfaced in the middle of the ocean, Jeb looked around, examined his surroundings, analyzed the shape of the vehicle and turned to Sean-Lock and Bugsy to spit some water out.

“Alright. Grab the tape from the CM, let\'s put this launch vehicle back together again and give it another run in a few minutes.â€

[leopardenthusiast]

Hah, that\'s one of my typical launches when I use addons. My vanilla creations are usually less explosive.

[NovaSilisko]

Sean-Lock related to this Sean-Lock by any chance? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sean_Lock

[VincentMcConnell]

No. I didn\'t even know there was a comedian with that name. Actually, Sean-Lock (if I remember correctly) was a Kerbal my friend encountered while playing.