[AAR]Voyage of the Odin--A Mission To Dres

[The Jedi Master]

Kudos to jpvalery for awesome mission patch

Yes, this is the mission you voted for! We're heading to Dres, everybody!

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KSC, 230 AU (After Union)

Gene leaned back in his chair. "...And the Fencer Mk.1 has landed."

Everyone in the room cheered. The Fencer Mk.1 was the JSP's first ever SSTO, making use of the RAPIER engines that came in early that year. It was a true marvel of engineering, the pride and joy of the program. It was the result of nearly seventy years of hard work.

It proved that the Jedi Space Program could do anything.

As helicopters flew out to recover Bob Kerman from the desert, Jeb put a hand on Gene's shoulder. "So, what's next?"

Gene considered. "Actually, we've been working on a little project since the Duna landing back in 201. The President is going to announce it with the Director at the K Prize acceptance speech."

"Really? I can't wait!"

"Neither can I, Jeb. Neither can I..."

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The Next Day...

The Director took the trophy and the Kerbettle concert tickets from President John F. Kerman. John then stepped up to the podium.

"Now, with that little award ceremony out of the way, I have an announcement to make."

Every Kerbal on Kerbin turned their TV sets volume up. An announcement by the President could only mean one thing: New space goal!

"Most of you know of a rock, about the size of Kerbin's own Mun, orbiting the sun on an inclined orbit in between Duna and Jool. This little planet is known as Dres. As far as we know, the most interesting place on the planet is a steep cliff near the north pole. Because of this, many space programs make a short trip to the planet, take a look at the canyon, leave and never return again.

"Yet so much of the planet remains unexplored. Imagine the wonders and sights no one has seen, just because nobody thought to look anywhere but that canyon. There might be a monolith, or something even more interesting, and we wouldn't know it.

"Of course, the Jedi Space Program does not take this approach to space exploration. It thinks that the 'neglected' worlds, like Moho and Ike and Pol and Eeloo and, yes, even Dres, are worthy of study, for the very fact that they exist. Therefore, the JSP is the best program for the job I am about to give them."

Now came the part that was in every one of John's speeches.

"I believe that the Jedi Space Program should commit itself to the goal, before the week is out, of landing a kerbal on Dres and returning him safely to Kerbin."

The crowd roared. Champagne and confetti flew everywhere. If the JSP could do this, they would be unstoppable.

The Director put his hands on his hips in a heroic pose. "We accept, Mr.President."

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Next chapter will be very soon! Feedback is always appreciated! Friend me and never miss a chapter, or any of my other very frequent posts for that matter!

[Tw1]

Good luck!

P.S. It's a something like 1.5 hundred days to get to Dres, so your kerbals may be in for a bit of a surprise...

Happened with my visit too. Jeb's compatriots screamed all the way...

[The Jedi Master]

Good luck!

P.S. It's a something like 1.5 hundred days to get to Dres, so your kerbals may be in for a bit of a surprise...

Happened with my visit too. Jeb's compatriots screamed all the way...

Why, JFK meant HUMAN time. He said NOTHING about kerbal time...

[The Jedi Master]

This tale has a thrilling conclusion! What is that thrilling conclusion? Well, let's just say that I'll be staying away from Dres until 0.23.1 comes out...

[The Jedi Master]

LKO, 86 Kerbal Days Later...

The crew, despite the three-person cockpit, only consisted of two kerbals: Bill and Roning Kerman. Bill was, of course, one of the Big Three, and needed no introduction. Roning, on the other hand, was a new recruit. This was his first real mission.

The docking and Kerbin escape were uneventful. In fact, nothing really and truly interesting happened until it came time to burn for the Dres encounter...

Gene tapped the FTL comm button. "All right, the Dres burn starts in three... two... one... burn!"

Roning pushed the throttle to maximum, then glanced at the estimated burn time. "Uh... twenty-six minutes to burn completion. Do we have enough fuel?"

"You should be fine."

"Roger that, proceeding with burn."

A few minutes later, Roning noticed something odd. "Uh, KSC, we have run out of fuel in the four external tanks. We were saving that fuel for the orbital insertion burn. Orders?"

Gene thought for a moment. "Jettison the tanks and keep going."

"Affirmative."

Roning got the feeling that Gene was being a bit overconfident. Still, Roning was the type that trusted authority. He wasn't about to question the head of Mission Control.

Eventually...

Bill looked at the fuel supplies, then pulled Roning aside.

"Hey, look. Gene was wrong. We'll be able to land, but..." He took a deep breath. "...We are not going home."

Roning looked shocked for a moment, then put on his EVA suit. He stepped out of the ship.

[Duxwing]

Copy Edit:

KSC, 230 AU (After Union)

With a sigh and a smile, Gene Kerman leaned back in his sweat-soaked chair, "...The Fencer Mk.1 has landed."

Roaring applause and joyous screams rang in the grey-walls of Kerbal Space Center. In the hugging, kissing, leaping Kerbals' minds danced thoughts of their Fencer: JSP's first ever SSTO, pride and joy of the program, and the result of nearly seventy years of hard work. Now in the desert it stood, its pilot's heart bounding with skyward soaring's thrill.

Helicopters flew to him--Bob Kerman--while Jeb rested his elbows on Gene's shoulders, strong chin atop his balding head, "What's next?"

Gene's eyes narrowed, If you were anyone else, Jeb, then I would fire you., and he sighed, "Since landing on Duna in 201 we've developed a project that the President and Director will announce at the K Prize acceptance speech."

Jeb grinned and stood straight, fists gleefully spearing the muggy air, "Really? I can't wait!"

Gene chuckled, "Neither can I, Jeb. Neither can I..."

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The Next Day...

The Director took the trophy and the Kerbettle concert tickets from President John F. Kerman, who from behind the podium spoke,

"Nahw, with the awahd ceremahny done, I have an announcement to make."

Across Kerbin pupils darted to televisions large and small, and around them huddled Kerbals--large or small,

"Most know of a rock--about the size of Kerbin's own Mun--orbiting the sun on an inclined orbit between Duna and Jool. This little planet is known as Dres. As far as we know, the most interesting place on the planet is a steep cliff near the north pole. Therefoah, many space programs briefly visit this canyon and leave the planet mostly unexploahed: what wondahs and sights are known only to Kod because none look beyond the canyon? The Jedi Space Program will explore these neglected worlds: Moho"

Were Kerbin's sapphire air a perfect telephone, a careful listner thereupon could hear a rasp, "and Ike," and hear this rasp become a rumble, "and Pol and Eeloo and, yes, even Dres," and the rumble a roar to rival the sea!

"Jedi Space Program will, before the week is out, land a Kerbal on Dres and safely return him to Kerbin."

Passions surged and sprayed, raising doldrums to howling gales that crushed the rocks against which so many hopes were dashed,

The Director winked, "We accept, Mr.President."

Advice:

1 Detailing your scenes, especially your dialogue, can better immerse readers in your story and explain characterization details.

2 Avoid such cliches as standing in a heroic fists-on-hips pose because they are 'ugly' and break immersion.

3 Figurative language--e.g., metaphors, similes, and allegories--can better evoke than can direct description.

4 John F. Kennedy had an accent; John F. Kernedy is John F. Kennedy; therefore John F. Kerneddy had an accent.

-Duxwing

[The Jedi Master]

Copy Edit:

Advice:

1 Detailing your scenes, especially your dialogue, can better immerse readers in your story and explain characterization details.

2 Avoid such cliches as standing in a heroic fists-on-hips pose because they are 'ugly' and break immersion.

3 Figurative language--e.g., metaphors, similes, and allegories--can better evoke than can direct description.

4 John F. Kennedy had an accent; John F. Kernedy is John F. Kennedy; therefore John F. Kerneddy had an accent.

-Duxwing

Thank you! Never knew Kennedy had an accent--he always just sounded 'American' to me.

[The Jedi Master]

To make up for my bad schedule keeping, the story should finish some time today. Stay tuned...

[The Jedi Master]

Unexpectedly taken to town by my parents, definitely tomorrow!

[The Jedi Master]

Six Months Later...

"Burning... engine cutoff. We have an orbit."

Everyone at KSC clapped. That is, everyone but Gene. It was because of his failure, his stupidity, his overconfidence that caused the predicament that Bill and Roning were now in. They would not be returning home, and it was all Gene's fault.

He sighed and pressed the comm button. "Mission Odin, you are cleared for landing."

"Copy that, all systems go."

The ship deorbited, and Gene hoped that a rescue mission might be possible...

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Roning held his breath. Fuel was running low in the lander. If he landed, there was a chance of rescue, but if he cratered into the ground...

"One thousand meters... five hundred meters... one hundred meters... fifty meters... ten meters... main engine stop. Touchdown." The ship bounced with a satisfying thud. "KSC, the Thor has landed."

Bill looked over at Roning. "Well, are you going to get out of the lander?"

Roning was astonished. "Shouldn't you be the one who has the honors?"

"I got my fame at Minmus. It's about time a white suit got some recognition."

"But I'm a rookie!"

"So?"

"But--"

Bill laid his hand on Roning's shoulder. "Kid, do you want to be a trivia question, or do you want to be a hero?"

Roning nodded, and contacted KSC. "I'm stepping off the lander now."

"And thus begins a new era for kerbalkind, one where it not only touches the moons, but also the planets and stars."

Bill smiled. "Good speech, Roning. Couldn't have done better myself."

"Thanks. I'll plant the flag now."

"You get to name this place, you know. Name it after yourself."

"No. I'll call it the Dove Sea. This isn't for me. It's for everybody."

Bill smiled, and stepped outside.

Then, everything went black...

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It was a rare kraken attack. Bill was mysteriously teleported back to KSC, but Roning was not so lucky. He, along with his flag, were thrown into the sun. His last transmission contained only two words:

"Thanks, Bill."

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For the second time in his life, Bill was crying.

The first time had been after Danke. Now, another death. The death of a kerbal he had learned all about for almost a year. One of his close friends.

He vowed never to touch space again...

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And that's it! I hope you enjoyed this short story. As a note, I have noticed that my new writing style isn't quite doing it for me. To make my stories better and longer, I'm going back to my old script style in my next story. That story won't be until January, though. Stay tuned...