Wernher von Kerman vs Wernher von Braun, An Epic Rap Battle of History

[Whirligig Girl]

Obviously not affiliated with Epic Rap Battles of History, but I had this idea in my mind for a while and I need to see it happen.

EPOCH RAP BATTELSOFISTOREE! WERNHER VON KERMAN! VERSUS! WERNHER VON BRAUN!!!!

You little green man, After this rap you're gonna be banned, you don't even have a world a tenth of ours to stand.

My humbly brilliant ideas of orbital stations, they're no match for your newb-unfriendly impatience. You dabble with rocketry, while we build up a nation! Our rocket's called the Saturn, undeniably large, you waste your time emptying your bladder on a glorified barge! Your science is wrong, seriously just think! You can't make an engine by knowing 'bout "Eve"'s drink!

Excuse me sir, von Braun, I'd like to have a word, 'bout these Scientific Principles you might think is absurd. Your rockets go to kill your people left and to the right, you're a sellout, You aid the Nazis with their genocidal fight!

Of all the minds in the universe they waste my time with this? Meetings to attend, budget to contend. I really can wait for this to reach it's end

Our discovery mechanic is something to be envied, Mystery Goo, Laboratories, they all get us the engines. Your So-called R&D program is a complete and total mess! Engines won't work first try, let alone the next!

You really can't touch us! Only 2.5 years through! We have rovers on Duna, Mun, Minmus, and Ee-loo. A return mission from everywhere is planned and on the table, our space program has flourished while yours is just a bland fable.

You claim you've got an achievement going to these places. You silly green Kerbals with silly green faces. Do you not realize the caliber of our space unit? Duna landing and return takes less fuel than Earth orbit! Your petty achievements are tiny in our eyes, I mean this literally of course, seriously on our world you'd be saying "Do you want fries?" We can't touch you? Why would we want to! And really, you must learn a fair bit of humility, your imagined self-importance takes you far from those like Shimmy.

You've barely left your rock, even though you've got resources! Look at the space around you! I can't believe you stay there! We devote every resource to exploring space, got a shuttle? Well a tad bit orbiting you get.

Suddenly, Gru and several minions pop up.

You all have the wrong idea, your flying into space, I got the Moon! In my hand! Such a tiny little place! My yellow minions here are much more adorable than Kerbals, though perhaps not so much as my lab rats and my gerbils.

WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!

I refuse to accept an constructive (or otherwise) critiscism, this is a joke.

Edited February 10, 2015 by GregroxMun

[Thomas988]

KERBAL PURITY, DOWN WITH THE HUMAN CIVILIZATION, LONG LIVE KERBALKIND

This is awesome! Nice work as ever, Greg, never ceases to be hilarious!

[CatastrophicFailure]

[mic drop]

Gru.

[OrtwinS]

People are asking why I got this insane grin on my face, what should I tell them?

How can I make them understand?

[nater662]

How do you hook these up to your KSP? High jack an old keyboard? or something more complex?

[Whirligig Girl]

How do you hook these up to your KSP? High jack an old keyboard? or something more complex?

What? I don't understand what you mean.

[Starwhip]

How do you hook these up to your KSP? High jack an old keyboard? or something more complex?

Ehwah do you mean?

[RAINCRAFTER]

Ive seen that movieeeeeee

(Caps)

[smjjames]

Green text on white background. ow.

[Starwhip]

Green text on white background. ow.

What? Speak up, sonny!

It's a little clunky, GregGrox, but I like it!