This sounds a lot like a question I asked a day or two ago. Thanks for answering it here... not sure why nobody answered it there. Enough of me mopping. The answers above look good. An additional thing I found that might be important is this: don't change anything on the upper stage after placing the lower stage. I got the idea that perhaps the decoupler was decoupling the wrong direction. I'm not sure that's correct, but ever since I got that idea I haven't run into this problem any more.