CatastrophicFailure

Ah yes. Liked the flick, never did like that bit tho. Might as well have called it "big red plot device."

Red matter... red matter... something tells me I should get the reference but I must be having a brain fart at the moment. Where's that from again? Sigh, I know, I just.... couldn't.... resist. I'm amazed I've gotten this far without Chadvey mentioning something about not having the power

Chapter 33: Speed "Oh, it's you," said Burdous, "well at least you're on time. Have a seat." Edgas stifled a groan and sat at the control console on the command deck next to the very annoyed looking Kerbal. Burdous threw his hands up dramatically and continued in his irritated monotone, "welcome to the Mikoyan-Gorbachev revision fifteen fission-fragment induced fusion engine. Most control subsystems can be accessed from right here. So see that you don't touch anything." Edgas figured he'd at least try to get on the other Kerbal's good side and humor him, "what sort of fuel source? Sentarium? Blutonium oxide pellets?" Burdous blinked, and gave him a considering look, "insightful question from a lay-Kerb, but wrong on both counts. It's a dusty plasma bed of magnetically contained nanoparticles of washingtonium-351." It took Edgas a moment to translate what he'd just said, "wash... washingtonium?! But it's highly unstable, the critical mass is only a few kilos, how--" "That's what makes it such an ideal fuel. Criticality is easily induced as the containment field funnels it into the ignition chamber." Edgas was fascinated. Terrified, but fascinated. "But... there must be tons of it on board..." "Nine point three eight seven tons, to be exact. "I... I didn't think that much of it even existed on Kerbin." "It doesn't. Well, not anymore. What we have here represents nearly the world's entire supply. The Ussaris can be extremely resourceful. They discovered a massive deposit right under their capital city. A leftover, from an ancient asteroid impact. They built a huge tunneling machine to mine it, but it broke down after it hit an old water pipe. But asteroids are rich in it. That's why the Company bothered to privately fund a grand tour. To locate and catalog more sources. At least that's their reason on paper. If they land a Kerbal somewhere, they can claim ownership. They'll claim the entire solar system. And if anyone protests? Well, they won't have any fuel to do anything about it." "That--" began Edgas. "Anyway, you're distracting me. You don't need to know the details of the engine's operation, just watch the status lights. Green is good. Yellow is not good. Red is bad. Red is very, very bad." Burdous pointed to a large red button under a clear plastic cover on the console, "you see red, you lift this cover, you hit this button. And you better have a damn good explanation too. That's the emergency SCRAM, it's not easily undone. And don't touch anything else!" Edgas looked at Burdous. Burdous looked at Edgas. "You don't like me, do you?" Edgas finally said. Burdous put a palm to his face, "and for a moment there I thought you might be intelligent," Burdous looked at him, "I think it's very... convenient... you always seeming to show up in just the right place, at just the right time. Yet you act like you have no idea what you're doing, like you're just along for the ride." "Well, that's pretty much true," Edgas said awkwardly, "two days ago I was in my cubicle, oblivious to the world, now I'm here. I really have no idea how." "At least you're honest. Or are you? Maybe you're just saying all the right things that have managed to get you this far. Maybe you're the shadow that's been dogging us all these years, come to sabotage our final effort." Edgas recoiled as if struck, "that's a pretty bold accusation there..." "Merely an observation," Jerdous said with a heavy-lidded stare, "my brother seems to think there's something noteworthy about you, so for now I'll trust his judgement. But I don't trust you." Edgas sighed, "y'know, you two sure don't act like twins." Burdous clicked his tongue and rolled his eyes, "what do you expect us to do? Something crazy like finish each other's--" "Sandwiches!" They both slowly turned their heads to see Jerdous stepping off the ladder, awkwardly balancing a tray. "Who wants some?" He said with a broad smile, "it's the last of our fresh food so I thought I'd make the most of it." "Gah," grunted Burdous, "I'll be in my bunk." He pointed a thick finger at Edgas, "remember, don't touch anything!" Then he stormed off up the ladder. Jerdous watched him go, "what's wrong with him?" "Me, apparently," Edgas said, "thinks I'm useless. Or a saboteur." Jerdous frowned, "he's always been... picky like that. He'll come around eventually, you'll see. In the mean time, sandwich?" Reality crackled again. But mmmmmmmmmmm, sandwiches! *** A few days later, Edgas was again sitting at the console watching the engine. It had been days of nothing but more of the same, pouring over documents, eating space food, watching the engine do nothing, and putting up with Burdous. Jerdous at least was cordial. And Chadvey was, well, Chadvey. It all confirmed something Edgas had expected for a long time: interplanetary spaceflight was incredibly boring. He turned and looked out the window. The stars never changed either. The ship held its course like a mountain. There was no sensation of speed, no stars streaming past the window. He knew there shouldn't be, of course, but some part of him still seemed to expect it. For days now, they had been constantly accelerating, going faster and faster. In about another day, the massive ship would slowly turn and begin decelerating. Within minutes of the engine first firing, the ship had taken the title of the fastest thing ever made by Kerbal hands. They were now traveling at several thousand kilometers every second. Nearly ten times galactic escape velocity. He knew it was just a number, but it still boggled his mind in that sciencey way he found he still loved. And terrified him too. Jerdous had already briefed him on the lander in the pressurized cargo bay. It was a fairly small thing, designed for landing on tiny worlds like Bop and Pol, they'd had to modify it to fit four. Four EVA suits were also stored in the bay, fully fueled for their low gravity excursion. Edgas had never been to Minmus, of course, but he knew the gravity on Bop would be similar. He had listened intently to the others describe the difficulty of moving about on the surface. They would probably... need..... to..... use.......... Why was that light red?

Jeb is such a badass, he don't need no steenking badges parachutes!

Chapter 32: Insights Jerdous was nothing if not thorough, it seemed. The documentation he'd gathered for Edgas was incredible in both scope and breadth. 'A few thumb drives' turned out to be several boxes full of them, each one meticulously labeled, categorized, and ordered. It would have been reams and reams of paper if people still used actual paper. What a silly thing, printing documents on paper. Bureaucracy could be so much more expansive and overbearing when it wasn't limited by physical resources. Bureaucrats, pfft. But if not for the bureaucracy, Edgas wouldn't have this trove of information before him. Yet, the more he read, the more confused he became. The magnitude of it all was simply staggering. The Company was woven into it all like a thick rug, and it lied like one too. But... Layland-Wutani had violated the import/export, banking, tax, health and safety, manufacturing, and traffic laws of no less than half a dozen countries just to build this ship. The engine and technology parts had been built in Ussari, along with most of the launch vehicles. The electronics in Gytep (all the best cheap electronics came out of Gytep these days), the structure in Itsuania, the hydrogen tanks in Cocomor, various minor bits in other nations, then all of it shipped though the Straits of Kerfrica right under their noses. Everything traveled halfway around the world, through the Andacanian Canal then somehow into eastern Cerima, to an equatorial launch complex not far from the coast that none of the locals on either side of the border seemed to notice. That much, at least, wasn't a stretch. The hodgepodge of duchies, provinces, theocracies, and plantain republics collectively known as 'Cerima' changed governments and allegiances more often than they changed their underwear, and generally for the same reasons. It was easy enough to get away with shenanigans there, the locals had more pressing matters to worry about than huge rockets launching every few days. But the Andacanians tended to be rather testy about such things. They must have been very well paid to ignore rockets overflying their sovereign territory and dropping toxic spent stages on their sacred fishing grounds. This was the bit of weirdness vexing Edgas at the moment. Why would the Ussaris go through the trouble of securing a launch facility near the equator in the first place? They already had a formidable space center. It was at such a high latitude it could only launch into high-inclination orbits, but with a ship with such a ridiculous amount of delta-v available, why would that matter? He rubbed his temples. And then, of course, there was the larger befuddlement. The one that made his brain hurt, and his eyes water. The one he was no closer to understanding despite hours pouring over extensive documentation. The Company was dirty, no doubt about it, but... it wasn't that dirty. Misappropriation of funds, mild embezzlement, good old-fashioned fraud, and gratuitous employment of hired goons. Typical greedy multinational conglomerate type stuff. But there was no grand plot, no vast conspiracy, no evil scheme. At least not that Edgas could see. It was maddening. And then the icing on this dirt cake. It was all so sloppy. The boxes of virtual documents demonstrated that. Everything was hidden, but it wasn't hidden well. Even a casual audit should have uncovered something, and something should have led to something else, then the whole mess should have come crashing down... Only it never did. Any time a whisp of attention was directed its way, it just... dissipated. Like the proverbial fart in the wind. Edgas shook his head. People would be transferred, or reassigned, or simply disappear altogether. It was all just so damned... convenient. Why no, Mr. Inspector, there's no need to investigate the radiation coming from that freighter there, paperwork's all in order you see, just rubber dookie bound for Bylia, here, have some money. It was always lurking, just beneath the surface. Hidden, but only just enough. Always just enough. A veneer of legitimacy, a veil of plausible deniability. A house of cards that should collapse at the slightest breeze. It was like... like... "Like a scapegoat on a leash," Edgas said quietly. He was sure that someone, somewhere, was having a grand old laugh over all this. Edgas wasn't laughing though. Buried in all the documents, all the forms, all the requisitions, all the applications, all the CF-7501's and THX-1138's, was a single news article. It stuck out like a bloodied thumb, and it twisted his innards to read it. 'Young female found murdered,' was the simple headline, probably buried in the back between sports scores and launch manifests. "Female identified as A. Kerman found dead in alley," the article said. It went on to use words like 'slashed' and 'stabbed' followed by a nauseating number. Edgas had tried to read the details, but couldn't bring himself to. Not with that picture staring back at him. It was Anastasia, Billy's sister. ...I will stab you with this...! Edgas shook his head. He closed his bulging, red-rimmed eyes, and rubbed the wide, flat spot between them. Somewhere distant, reality creaked. It couldn't be, just a virtual news clipping and a comment taken out of context. Burdous certainly didn't like him, but that didn't make him... make him-- The Hand of the Kraken Edgas blinked. Where had that come from? Look at the evidence, the scientist in him said, circumstantial it may be, but there is a trail... Or maybe he's just a jerk, the practical Kerbal in him said, scared and stressed the same as you... Edgas leaned back on his thin mattress and stretched, joints popping loudly in protest. Burdous. There were reams on him, too. On... well, everyone, too. He was brilliant, no doubt there. His career as a Kerbonaut was accomplished, if not remarkable, but his prowess was engineering. He'd written several papers on the practical applications of fission fragment and induced fusion engines, all praised but mostly ignored. Six months after the ill-fated Münbase mission, at Edmund's behest, no less, Burdous and Jerdous had been assigned to Ussari as part of the Kerbonaut Exchange program, as liaisons for the Administration and goodwill ambassadors. There, Burdous had found fertile ground for his ideas on advanced nuclear propulsion, and the Company had been happy to fund them. A potentially ground-breaking interplanetary propulsion system paid for by someone else? The Ussari leadership were only too happy to give their assistance, and keep it a secret until the right time. Keeping secrets was easy in that part of the world. In Ussari, atom splits you! Jerdous was indeed a well-traveled anthropologist. Seeing his evidence in writing, all with meticulous notes, footnotes, cross-references, and concordances, was all the remaining convincing Edgas had needed about their, well, quest. It seems Jerdous had had an epiphany of sorts out there in the desert. Several years before Chadvey's Mün landing, Jerdous had uncovered the tablet, visited the temple, and begun piecing the story together. He'd spent years traveling the globe between Corps assignments, ostensibly for 'life science and archeological' research. Chadvey's discovery of the seal had been the linchpin, the final piece. Since then they, along with Burdous, had been working in the shadows, trying to discern the Kraken's true nature, and ultimately to hatch this grand plan to secure the other seals. And whatever else they were going to do out there. Chadvey's story, well, it pretty much checked out. He'd played the part of the intrepid Kerbonaut hero, shaking hands, making useful friends, and opening doors. Then finally, as a deputy flight director, had put the resources of the entire space program at their disposal, if surreptitiously. He'd been quietly pulling strings all along. Of course it checks out, a voice inside said, Chadvey had Jerdous gather the documents. You're being fed. Edgas pushed the thought away. Ugh, but this was exhausting. And always the final variable: the unknown adversary. His (her?) prints were all over the paperwork too. Back and forth, cat and mouse, move and countermove. Whatever the three tried to do, this force worked against them. Sometimes they won, sometimes not. For the moment, they did seem to be ahead. But there was still something wrong, Edgas knew he was missing something. No matter how hard he tried, there was some connection his brain just kept missing. Every time he thought he was getting close, it slipped away like a shadow at the edge of vision. It was infuriating. He sighed, and set his tablet down. That was enough for now, anyway. He'd agreed to go meet with Burdous for a briefing on how to monitor the engine, so he could take his turn standing watch. This would be oh so much fun. A thought lingered as he opened his door. They weren't ahead, they were being driven. It was a trap. Edgas shuddered. Now why did that phrase make him think of the RatSquirrelFish?

Chapter 31: Emptiness Edgas awoke slowly. He looked around, blinking, remembering where he was. Apparently he hadn't moved an inch all... night? How long had he been out anyway? And what was that horrible smell? Oh, right. Him. He stood, tried to work the kinks out of his neck and back, and made his way to the space bathroom. He could hear the others in the galley down below. The ship still thrummed but seemed far too quiet considering was was occurring half a kilometer beneath him. The bathroom had a real shower, not just a space shower. It was barely more than a trickle, meant to be operated at much less than the... was it .8 gees he said? Anyway, it felt heavenly. Edgas knew the water was recycled, he tried not to think too hard about where it had come from. Couldn't be any worse than the layers of foulness still clinging to him. He tried not to think about where they had come from either. He'd barely run a rag over his face before the launch. Come to think of it, he tried not to think about anything at all for the moment. Just enjoy the warm water and feel like a Kerbal again. He dressed in the clean flight suit that had been left for him. It must have belonged to one of the Ussari crew, it was emblazoned with the Screwdriver and Scissors of their national symbol, and he thought the name tag said 'Yuri.' He had a passable knowledge of the Ussari language but always had trouble with their odd, not-quite-the-same writing. Finally he descended the long ladder down to the galley. "Behold! It rises!" said Jerdous jovially as Edgas entered. "Don't you mean descended?" Burdous muttered. "Well, welcome back to the world of the livin'" Chadvey grinned, "Ah was startin' to get worried there." Edgas looked around the little room, still rubbing at his neck. The others were seated around the small table. How long had he been out, anyway? "Hmm, I thought I'd missed breakfast," he finally said. "You did," said Burdous, "and second breakfast, and elevens. This is lunch." He had a tablet propped up next to him, still watching the engine. Edgas blinked. He sniffed and... could it really be? "There's old, lukewarm coffee in the pot, lad," said Chadvey. "Help yourself to the pantry," said Jerdous helpfully, "we've got like five years of food here with just the four of us, though the last of our fresh food will run out soon. Hope you like dehydrated mystery food in a box." Edgas followed his nose to the well-stained coffee 'pot,' more of an odd hybrid between a conventional coffee machine and a 'space-coffee' machine. He poured ink-black liquid into a standard mug, and took a sip. Grainy, burnt, and acrid enough to make the eyes water, but just slightly. Ahhhhhh, yes, this was the stuff. Another thought occurred to him, and he began furiously searching through the various cupboards and spaces. They had to have it somewhere, they had to. "Looking for something in particular?" asked Jerdous. "Mush," replied Edgas. "Mush...?" "Mush!" "There's many things in there that could be called mush... though I don't think I've ever seen them labeled as such..." "Must be here somewhere..." Edgas mumbled as he fumbled through drawers. "Mush?" Said Chadvey, "that doesna sound verah appetizing." "This, coming from a guy whose national dish is offal boiled in its own stomach," said Burdous glibbed. "It'll put hair on yer chest, lad," Chadvey grinned. "Hair on my...? I'm a Kerbal, why would I want hair in strange places?!" "Some of your space babes have hair in strange places," offered Jerdous. "You leave them out of this!" Burdous brandished a spoon at him. Edgas took only slight notice of the banter. He was a Kerb on a mission, it must be some-- THERE! In a case across the room. That was an odd place to keep it. He trundled over, picked up the nondescript unmarked white box, tore it open and gingerly sniffed... Victory! He went back to the galley, not noticing that the others had gone silent. He poured some of the white powder into a bowl, added two parts hot water, mixed thoroughly, tried a small spoonful.... oh yeah, this was mush. He took a large mouthful, and sat down at the table, still chewing. Only then did he notice the other three staring at him, eyes wide, mouths agape, horrified. Coffee dribbled slowly down Chadvey's chin. Burdous had a half-chewed mouthful of... something. Jerdous's fork had stopped half way to his own mouth, and a morsel of food lay forgotten on the table. "What?" said Edgas around a mouthful of mush. Nothing moved. The only sound was the distant thrumming of the ship. Edgas swallowed, "what?? Do... do I have something on my face?" He pawed randomly at his mouth. Chadvey looked at Jerdous, who looked at Burdous, who looked at Chadvey, who looked at Burdous, who looked at Jerdous, who looked at Edgas. "That's... not... food..." he said slowly. "What?" "Its hull sealant," said Burdous, "for emergency repairs..." Edgas looked at Burdous, then at Jerdous, then at Chadvey. Then he shrugged and took another spoonfull. Mmmmmmmmmmmm, fresh mush "Where did you find this guy?!" Burdous asked Chadvey. "Um..." "So one thing no one's explained yet," Edgas began, still chewing on mush, "what exactly happens if we don't do... um, whatever it is we're going to do? What if the other seals break?" "Is he really that dense?" Burdous said to anyone who would listen, "bad things, ok? Very. Bad. Things." "And I heard, as it were, a voice like thunder, saying 'come and see', and I saw," intoned Jerdous, looking blankly at the table, "and behold: a pale horse. And his name that sat on it was Betrayer... and Hell followed with him. He spake thus unto the Beast: 'Arise!' And so it did. I saw the sun become as black as night, and the Mün become as blood, and the Beast didst appear out of the darkness upon a chariot of fire. It had six heads, and upon those six heads were six horns, and upon those six horns were six diadems. Lo, I saw the Beast descend among the people, upon the righteous and wicked alike," Jerdous suddenly looked up, and looked right at Edgas, "and there was wailing, and gnashing of teeth." Edgas swallowed his mouthful of mush hard. "Ach, enough with the drama Jerdous," said Chadvey, rolling his eyes. Then he turned to Edgas, "as you can probably tell, Burdous here is our engineer. Jerdous is the anthropologist." "That's... an odd specialty for a Kerbonaut," Edgas squeaked. Jerdous grinned warmly, "I'm also the pilot. He runs the engine, I make sure we're pointing the right way. Fearless Leader there tells me where to point it." Chadvey clicked his tongue, "It was Jerdous who first discovered the tablet and convinced me Ah wasna crazy mahself," he said. "Rediscovered," Jerdous said with a hint of eye roll, "sitting in a plain-looking box in a warehouse full of plain-looking boxes, forgotten for decades. I've been to the temple site, and similar sites all over Kerbin, trying to piece this together. That quote was from the Third Prophetess of Gerin. Every culture has a slightly different take on it, sometimes deeply buried, but they all agree on one thing: if the seals are broken and Ba'alzacropth is released..." "Kraken," said Chadvey. "Yog-Sothoth," said Burdous. Jerdous rolled his huge eyes, "if whatever it is crosses into this reality... everything else in this reality will cease. If we're lucky." "...and if we're not?" "Then it will un-make this reality into something so alien and abstract that merely contemplating it would drive you quite mad," Jerdous said with a sinister wink. "Oh," said Edgas, "well I suppose that's a pretty compelling reason." He looked down at his mush and sighed. Suddenly he wasn't very hungry anymore. "And what's his purpose again?" Burdous pointed at Edgas with his spoon. "It'll be clear enough in time, lad," Chadvey said. "Dead weight if you ask me." "Engineers," Edgas sighed, "pfft." "Did you just pfft at me?!" "Yes, I pfft'ed at you." "Don't you dare pfft at me!" "Pfft." "You take that back or so help me...!" "Pfffft." "Gah!" Burdous screamed, "I swear by the Queen's frilly brassier I will stab you with this!" He brandished his spoon threateningly at Edgas. It looked dull, too. "Children," said Chadvey with a belabored look, "we are all on the same side here." Jerdous was smirking. "Excuse me," Burdous said, getting up, "I have to go recalibrate the containment matrix." He disappeared up the ladder. Jerdous sighed, "I'll go talk to him." Finally Chadvey stood, rubbing his face. He clapped Edgas lightly on the back, "he'll come around, lad. He's always been a bit... picky." Then he, too, disappeared up the ladder, leaving Edgas alone with his mush. Edgas stared into it for a long time, as if seeking counsel there. He was so used to it, he almost hadn't noticed at first. The crinkly-reality feeling, it was... stronger around those two. Especially Burdous. Well maybe. Maybe it was the twin thing. They sure didn't act like twins, though. But... could he be...? No, Edgas shook the thought away. That made no sense anyway, why bring them all the way out here just to... Because it's convenient, if overly dramatic, the scientist in him said, no need to hide anything. Bah, he shook the thought away again. What was happening to him? Some Kerb is rude and the first thought that occurs is that he's... ...Betrayer... Edgas rubbed his temples. Pity to waste good mush, but his appetite was gone. Maybe he should go have a look at those documents. He still had no idea what was going on, just felt dragged along by forces beyond his control. But one thing he was certain of. Whatever the truth was, the endgame was rapidly approaching.

Elsewhere.... "I'm gonna kill him" said Dondun Kerman "You're not gonna kill him," said Burny Kerman "No I'm seriously gonna kill him! I can't take it anymore!" "You can't kill him, he's our payday." Dondun thought for a moment, "I'll file for bankruptcy." "Well I got five mouths to feed, so can it. We'll be on the ground in an hour." "But I can't take it! I can't take it! He just won't stop! Three hours now and he JUST! WON'T! STOP!" "Will you calm down already?! You're a Kerbonaut, start acting like one." "I'ma kick him out the hatch, I swear! right out the damn hatch!" Burny put a hand to his faceplate and exhaled, "join the Kerbonaut corps, the kerb said. It's a real Kerb's life, the kerb said. See the world, meet interesting people, the kerb said." "How can I still hear him?! HOW CAN I STILL HEAR HIM HIS INTERCOM'S UNPLUGGED!!" "I am getting too old for this." "ARGLBLARGLGARGLEHEEHEEHOOHOOHAAHAATHEYRECOMINGTOTAKEMEAWAYHAHA!" "Maybe I could transfer," said Burny to no one in particular, "I hear Ussari's nice this time of year. Always looking for more people there, they are. Big skeeters though. Really big skeeters. Can't be any worse than this. I should go talk to HR, been meaning to take a vacation, maybe some sick days, I wonder..." The tiny spacecraft drifted, slowly dipping towards the atmosphere. If you pressed your ear to the hull... well, you would suffocate and die horribly, but before you did, you might just hear... "Four thousand seven hundred and fifty two bottles of non-alcoholic-carbonated-malt-based-space-beverage-in-a-bag on the wall, four thousand seven hundred and fifty two bottles of non-alcoholic-carbonated-malt-based-space-beverage-in-a-bag! If one of those bottles should happen to fall, four thousand seven hundred and fifty one bottles of non-alcoholic-carbonated-malt-based-space-beverage-in-a-bag on the wall! Four thousand seven hundred and fifty one bottles of non-alcoholic-carbonated-malt-based-space-beverage-in-a-bag on the wall, four thousand seven hundred and fifty one bottles of non-alcoholic-carbonated-malt-based-space-beverage-in-a-bag! If one of those bottles should happen to fall, four thousand seven hundred and fifty bottles of non-alcoholic-carbonated-malt-based-space-beverage-in-a-bag on the wall...!"

LOL it's all good. Darn you autocorrect, darn you all to heck. Thanx for pointing out the error, shall be fixed shortly. Or maybe there really was something else on Edgas's mind

Chapter 30: To Boldly Go... Chadvey broke the awkwardness, "do you have the seal? Is it safe?" Jerdous took a small, wrapped object from his pocket. Edgas stared in amazement as he took the cloth off. It was identical to the white disc Chadvey had shown him, but unbroken. "The second seal?" Edgas asked. "Aye, we found this on Minmus a while back. Kept it a secret these past years. It was our confirmation that the legend might be more than just an old story." Chadvey wrapped the seal up and handed it back to Jerdous, "keep this safe." "What about the third one?" asked Edgas again. "That would be the whole point of this little endeavor, now wouldn't it?" Burdous said, still looking annoyed. "One thing at a time, lads," Chadvey said, "how soon can we get underway?" "We're almost ready," said Burdous, "I just need to do a final alignment check on the containment array." "Good," Chadvey sounded relieved, "the sooner, the better. Ah've pulled so many strings now the whole thing's bound to unravel. It won't take long for them to figure out what happened to us. Ah'd like to be gone before they do." "Wait, what?" Edgas had finally put the numbers together, "we're stealing another space ship?!" Burdous looked offended, "we're going to bring it back! Well, probably." "No sense dawdling in the doorway, let's be on with it," Chadvey said. As he and Edgas floated into the docking tunnel, Edgas turned and began to close the mule's hatch. "No, leave it open," Chadvey countered, "the depressurization will help blow it clear. No way to control it on auto from here." Jerdous shut the inner hatch, moved some levers, then hit the docking release. There was a loud thud, and the small window in the hatch fogged over for a moment. When it cleared, Edgas could just see the mule tumbling away. He suddenly felt very vulnerable. And sick. Chadvey and Edgas doffed their launch suits and stored them as best they could in the docking tunnel before the four of them floated into the interior of the ship. The design heritage was unmistakable, but similarity to the Münbase ended quickly. Where that had seemed open and roomy, this vessel was nearly claustrophobic. Every available space was crammed with equipment and storage. The galley was in the same place, but smaller. There was no EVA deck or proper airlock, that space was packed with consumables and a very serious looking medical bay. There were far more gauges and displays on the command deck, and six seats arranged around the perimeter. Edgas asked about the large hatch in the "floor," near where they had entered from the mule. "That's my engine room," Burdous snapped, "you stay out of there." "Easy, B," said Jerdous, then he turned to Edgas, "you'll have to excuse him. He's very protective of his little project here." Burdous gave him a dirty look. "Er, yes," Edgas said, trying to sound amicable, "Chadvey said this will get us to Jool in only two weeks?" "You're flarping right," Burdous said with a wicked grin, "ten days in this configuration if I could run the engine at full tilt. You've heard of a fission fragment rocket?" Edgas thought for a moment, "yes, actually. It's like a nuclear reactor with one end open... channeling the atomic chain reaction products into the exhaust even as they're undergoing fission, using magnetic fields. But I thought they were like ion engines; high efficiency but low thrust?" Burdous gave him a considering look, "so you do know a thing or two. That's an accurate, if elementary description." He ran a hand lovingly along a beam overhead, "but the Ussaris aren't afraid to take it eleven. This baby has an afterburner! All those spheres along the spine are full of hydrogen. Once the engine is running at the bleeding edge of its envelope, we inject it into the exhaust stream, loosing ISP but ramping the thrust up by several orders of magnitude. And as if that weren't enough, the exhaust is still so hot that every few billion hydrogen atoms, a couple will undergo fusion into helium, kicking the thrust and ISP up even more. It's technically not sustained fusion but the bumps are imperceptible to us." He grinned evilly at Edgas again, "what that means, is that we accelerate toward Jool at .8 gees for seven days, then turn around and decelerate for seven days. And if anything goes wrong we won't even be aware of it 'cause we'll be sitting in the middle of a two hundred megaton thermonuclear explosion." Edgas swallowed hard. Chadvey was grinning. Jerdous looked like he'd heard it way too many times. Edgas really wasn't feeling well. His face was starting to feel all puffy and his brain and his ears kept arguing about which way was up, if there even was an up, and his stomach was about to tell both of them in no uncertain terms to just shut the heck up, which ever way that was. "Alright, alright, that's enough scaring the new guy," Chadvey said, "let's move on." They floated up the ladder to the crew deck. Jerdous and Burdous clung casually to hand holds, while Chadvey just... floated, his legs crossed, his hands on his knees, and a wide grin. He just sort of drifted, rotating slowly. This room was the closest resemblance to the Münbase, only here there were a full six accommodations instead of just three, each room with a number on the door, and a couple of unmarked ones. "You can take berth five there, Edgas," Jerdous pointed, "there's some clean clothes inside, and personal stuff. Also a tablet and some thumb drives in the drawer. Chadvey had me gather up all the documents I could about the seals and the Company. Should fill in on some of the holes. Maybe you could give us some fresh insight as well." Edgas felt a disturbing burbling in his gut. Chadvey kept listing, not seeming to care, "good point. Our first priority will be to secure the third seal from Bop." Now Chadvey was completely upside down, his bushy gray hair wandering in all directions. Edgas's throat began to spasm. "After that, Ah'm not quite sure, but Ah do have a plan. Details just need some fleshing out, and..." He looked at Edgas, concern in his voice, "are you all right, lad? You're looking rather green...er" Burdous gasped. Jerdous realized the danger and began pointing frantically, "space bathroom! Space bathroom!" Chadvey's eyes grew wide. He grabbed Edgas, and half guided, half shoved him through the door, slamming it behind him. This was instantly followed by hideous, wet hurking sounds from the other side. They went on and on, pausing only for the occasional cough. "Well, now, catastrophe averted," Chadvey said with a wide grin. Jerdous and Burdous stared open-mouthed in horror at the door. "But..." said Jerdous softly, "...that's the closet..." There was an especially forceful and drawn out hurk. Chadvey's grin only faded for a moment. "Not anymore it's not." *** Some time later... They were again gathered on the crew deck. Edgas hung from a handhold with a squiggly grin. He felt so much better now. Always did afterword, just had to get it out of his system. Part of the acclimation process to microgravity. Jerdous looked uncomfortable. Burdous glared. Apparently he'd been rather attached to that old shirt. Chadvey passed out some small bits of what looked like folded plastic. "GentleKerbs," he began, "we are about to abscond with a vessel the value of which exceeds the GDP of most nations. Now, despite the somewhat questionable legality of our endeavor, we do so for the good of all Kerbalkind. In light of that, Ah'd like to propose a toast." He produced a beverage bag of some thick, dark liquid, and squeezed a little out into each plastic contraption. It smelled like turpentine and looked like ink. "What's this?" Edgas asked, "liquor?" "Of course not, can't have that here," Chadvey said, "this is what's left after it's been distilled. Protein, B-vitamins, complex amino acids, not a trace of alcohol left. It's an old family recipe." Chadvey turned to them all, "We are about to embark upon that most sacred tradition of Kerbaldom, that which hath brought our forefathers to every corner of the globe, and beyond." He raised his space-cup. "To boldly go where we've no business being, and hope we don't explode." The others raised their cups, and mumbled uncomfortably. They slurped down the thick, smelly liquid in unison. Jerdous gagged. Burdous began coughing profusely. Chadvey wheezed. Edgas just grimaced, and smacked his lips. Sure, it was awful, but nowhere near the RatSquirrelFish. That, or the last of his taste buds had finally died. "Ugh, I should run the engine on this," said Burdous, "let's just get going." The others knew their places, Edgas just picked a random chair and strapped himself in. "What's my status?" Burdous began, looking over his own displays. "Green across the board," said Jerdous, "LH2 at prefire pressure, injector manifolds online and standing by, main containment is active, auxiliary to emergency." "All right, let's see if this works." "Wait, what?" Exclaimed Edgas, "you've never fired it before?!" "Of course not!" said Burdous, "it's not supposed to be operational yet." "We're just the caretaker crew between assembly flights," added Jerdous. Edgas swallowed hard, "are... are you sure you know how to fly this thing?" "I should think so," Burdous said with a smirk, "I designed it." "Final attitude check is good, guidance is aligned, we're ready to light it," said Jerdous. "Bringing fuel beds towards critical... chamber temp and pressure are alive." Edgas noticed one of the plastic space cups still floating about the cabin. "LH2 to fire pressure, manifolds cycled, containment is good." "Reaching critical... three... two... one... firing!" There was a hum, and for a moment everything went blue. The ship creaked and groaned softly. Ever so slowly, the floating cup began to drift towards the floor. "Reaction is stable," Burdous announced, "chamber stats all green... containment looks good, but I want auxiliary on emergency standby." "You've got it," said Jerdous, "beginning turbopump startup cycle... injectors to pressure, feed lines green, ready to fire on your mark." Edgas tensed. "Three... two... one... engage!" The ship groaned loudly in protest. The space cup fell to the floor, and Edgas suddenly felt heavy again. Lights and numbers flashed back and forth across the monitors. The twins grunted. "It's... working..." Burdous lips barely moved, "containment is holding, well within limits... green across the board... fusion rate stable at three hundred gigacraps." "Never doubted you B," said Jerdous, "my board is green too, we're on our way!" Chadvey undid his harness and stood cautiously, "stellar work lads, truly incredible." Burdous ran his hand slowly over his panel, "she may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts. All systems are stable, should just need monitoring and minor maintenance from here. Jerdous unlatched his harness and wobbled to his feet, Chadvey had to grab him when he nearly fell. "Careful, you two," he said, "you've been in microgravity for quite a stretch, you'll need time to adjust. We should all get some rest, really. We'll take turns standing watch to monitor the engine." "I'll take the first watch, of course," said Burdous, "I can already see where the containment field could use trimming." Edgas stood. Other than a faint vibration in the floorplates and a distinct feeling of lightness, it didn't feel like space at all. "All right," Chadvey said, "I reckon we'll have network access for only an hour or two before we're out of range of the secure satellite. If there's any last data you all need, best download it soon. Edgas helped Jerdous up the ladder to the crew deck, and then retreated to his own cubicle. It felt disturbingly familiar. As he looked out the window and saw nothing but stars, he realized he had already had his last glimpse of Kerbin for what could be a very long time. He couldn't possibly see it again from this angle. He sat down on his thin mattress and realized how tired he was. Had he really been in his own bed only hours ago? He suddenly wondered if he'd left the oven on. His thoughts quickly became jumbled and murky, and was soon sleeping soundly still leaning against the wall. Unnoticed on a shelf, high up on the wall, was a small container of Mystery Goo. It was glowing dimly.

Chapter 29: The Two Edgas gawked out the window. Even from this distance it was truly incredible. He'd never seen anything like it. It was, without a doubt, the ugliest spaceship he had ever seen. It had to be half a kilometer long, and nearly all of that was a string of large white spheres, each on sprouting a pair of radiators or maybe solar panels. At the front, or what he assumed was the front, were a pair of cylindrical modules, a ring of docking hubs, and various asymmetrical sciencey-looking bits. It looked vaguely familiar. But the other end was strange. He thought it might be the engine. A wide metallic disc separated it from the rest of the ship. What he thought might be the engine bell was enormous, but instead of solid metal it was a lattice of flimsy looking stringers. Edgas looked back at Chadvey, "how do I not know about this?! That must have taken dozens, hundreds of launches, I never saw any contracts!" "Take a closer look, lad," Chadvey said with a wink. Edgas did, and as they neared, it became obvious. The logo was right there, emblazoned on every other sphere. And on the ones it wasn't, it was spelled out in letters a meter high. Layland-Wutani. "The Company?!" "The Agency had no hand in this one," said Chadvey, "the Company financed the whole project. Then contracted the Ussaris to launch it from a site in Cerima. Easy to keep secrets there." "Why? It's enormous, what could they possibly need a ship that size for?" "Ostensibly, it's for a crewed Grand Tour of all the planets. What the real purpose could be, Ah haven't the foggiest. But we've caught it at an advantageous point in the construction. The drive system, most of the fuel, basic living quarters, and one small lander are assembled, but none of the heavy science modules or mission landers. Means we can burn all that fuel and reach the Jool system in only two weeks." "TWO WEEKS?!?" Edgas exclaimed, "that's impossible!" "That's another reason they had the Ussaris build it. They're willing to use technology even the Agency won't touch. You'll get to see shortly." Chadvey produced another object from... somewhere. Where was he getting all this stuff anyway? Then Edgas recognized it. "A G.I.Jeb Real Action Hero Walkie-Talkie™?" he gawked. "Oh you're familiar with them?" Chadvey asked. "I had one when I was a kid. But why do you have one?" Chadvey grinned, "cheap, disposable, low-power, virtually untraceable, and the electronics are so bad it even distorts your voice. Only a couple of hundred meters away now, should be in range." He keyed the mic on the small radio and was greeted by a burst of static, "zebra? Zebra? This is lungfish." A pause, then a hideously garbled static-laced response, "lungfish, this is zebra." "Good, they're there," Chadvey said to Edgas, "now the challenge phrases." He keyed the mic again, "Pyrex. Pickle. Blowfish." Another pause, "Waterford. Cheese Dibble. Red snapper." At least that's what it sounded like. "Very tasty." Static hissed and flared, "John has a long mustache. John has a long mustache." Chadvey looked slightly concerned, "the chair is against the wall." A crackle, then hiss, "tip my canoe..." Chadvey looked relieved now, "and tie it, too." He turned back to Edgas, "good, everything is in... what?" Edgas continued gaping for a moment, "if you say 'I'm a little teapot' next I'm kicking you out that hatch." Chadvey pinched his brow, "now why would Ah say a ridiculous thing like that?" Edgas looked at him blankly. "Besides, that's the code for a political coup in Cerima. The last one was just the other day, they're not quite due again." Edgas raised a palm to his face. Another rolling wave of nausea was working its way toward his gut. "Well, no more time to dally, best we be on with it," said Chadvey as he fired the thrusters again, "you may recognize the design..." Edgas watched as the small ship neared the docking port. Indeed he did recognize it. The central module was the same design as the space station, and the Münbase. Chadvey deftly guided the mule towards the port, completely by hand, until a thunk and series of clicks signaled it was secure. "Welcome, lad, to the R/V Determined Consternation." "The what?" "Well, they wanted to call her the Righteous Indignation, but Ah guess that name was already taken." Engineers. Pfft. The two Kerbals squeezed past the control panel to the docking hatch, Chadvey pressurized the collar, and they swung the pod's hatch open. A face appeared for a moment in the small window of the other hatch before it too swung open with a slight hiss. Two unfamiliar Kerbals waited on the other side. Two...? "Lads!" Chadvey exclaimed with his arms wide, "ach, but it's good to see you two again!" "Chadvey, you shaggy old goat! It's been too long!" said... one? "We were getting worried..." said the... other? "As Ah promised, this is Edgas," Chadvey said, clapping Edgas sharply on the back, "Edgas, this is Jerdous and Burdous. They've been with me since nearly the beginning." That bizarre crackling reality sensation was back, strong, this time. Edgas looked from Jerdous? To Burdous? And back again. They? stared back at him. Finally, one of them rolled his bulging eyes and clicked his tongue, and the other offered a hand and an uncomfortable grin. "Yes, we're twins," said the one with his hand out, "I'm Jerdous, he's Burdous. Er, welcome aboard." Edgas shook his hand, feeling decidedly... unwell.

Four words: DRES CANYON BASE JUMPING. But what's at the south pole?

Don't I wish. They need to invent a mental transcription device. Abd yes, Chadvey. Don't look at me, KSP came up with that one lol.

Best if I not reveal all my secrets quite yet

Chapter 28: A Fairy Tale "Jool? Jool?!" Edgas exclaimed, "why Jool? No one's ever been there before." "You remember Ah said there was something on the back of the tablet, in the same ancient language that led me to transliterate the seal?" Edgas nodded. "It was a legend, a fairy tale, a very interesting one coming from a culture that lived thousands of years before the first telescopes, that shoudna have had any knowledge of bodies like Eloo, Gilly.... or the five moons of Jool. "The legend tells of a figure they called the Sky King, who was associated with the color green, and had five daughters, whom he loved greatly. Especially the youngest, whom he'd found wandering in the darkness and adopted. He loved them so much, with the help of beings called the Servants, he created the whole universe just to please them, and set it dancing to the Great Song. For ages and ages they danced and circled one another in happiness. But one day, the great evil that lived in the darkness descended upon them, for it was none too happy to see such merriment, and creation, and life. It was recorded only as the Adversary, and it did battle with the Sky King right there in his dance hall. The Sky King struck off its right hand, but the Adversary's counter-stroke was about to strike down the King himself, when the youngest daughter threw herself upon it, and gouged out its eyes with her brooch pin. "But she was young and small, the Adversary overpowered her, held its blade to her neck, and demanded the Sky Kings kill all the Servants, and then himself, with his own blade. The youngest daughter was cunning, however; she stabbed herself in the right hand with the brooch pin, her own blood mixing with the Adversary's, and threw it to the Servants, imploring them to bind the Adversary with it. The Sky King begged them not to, but they acted quickly, and trapped the Adversary within the girl, transforming the brooch into the seal. But the Servants warned that the seal was imperfect, and would eventually degrade and weaken." Edgas listened, enthralled. "Now here's where it gets interesting. The seal was divided into three parts, the first stayed with the youngest daughter, the other two, as well as the Hand, were given to a figure called the World-Mother, and then to her two sons for safe keeping. In the end, the poor girl went mad, and the Sky King was so devastated that he cast the Servants out into the darkness, but not before they distilled some of their power, and gave it in a vessel to the World Mother, for when it was needed again. The Sky King's grief was too much for him to bear, so he turned himself and all the people of the universe into stars, so they would never feel again, except the World-Mother and her sons, who guarded the seals." "That's.... awful." Edgas said. Chadvey fired the thrusters again, "Not every fairy tale has a happy ending, lad," Chadvey said softly, "you should hear the one about the mermaid." "And you think all that really happened?" Edgas asked. "Of course not," Said Chadvey with a great laugh, "Ah'm pretty sure Jool is a four an' something billion year old gas giant planet, not the repose of an ancient demigod. But the allegory is certainly compelling, once you add this: the probe to the Jool system several years ago detected anomalous readings nearly identical to the one on the Mün when it flew past the smallest, farthest moon... which is thought to be an 'adopted' asteroid." Edgas thought for a moment. That wasn't.... "But... the probe never made it to Bop... it ran out of fuel and crashed into Jool before it could make the flyby... right?" Chadvey has that mischievous look again, "that's what they said, that's what all the documents in the archives reflect... but... Data has become like matter and energy. You can change it, manipulate it, hide it, but never really destroy it. The probe did indeed run out of fuel and crash into Jool... because of the maneuver that brought it to within a few kilometers of the surface of Bop. Took me years of digging to uncover that, rebuilding backup tapes byte by byte, and one extremely unpleasant summer goodwill tour through Ussari picking through intercepted transmission recordings. Have you ever been to Ussari in the summer? Humidity so thick they cut it with a knife and serve it as a side dish, and the skeeters are as big as yer head! Why once Ah... oh...." Edgas was staring very intently at nothing, his lips moving slightly. "Come again, lad?" "Firefly queen," Edgas mumbled, still staring, "she... she trapped the Woodsie Lord in the full moon... drives people mad..." "Ah think now you're staring to understand, lad." "No!" Edgas shouted, "I don't understand at all! This all sounds so crazy, and now I'm a fugitive on a stolen space ship!" "Does it feel crazy?" "What?" Chadvey rapped him lightly on the chest, "in there. After all you've been through, and Ah probably don't even know the half of it, does it feel crazy?" Edgas just looked at him, his mouth working soundlessly. "Sometimes, lad, when reason fails us, we have to just believe, and trust that the understandin' will come later." "But..." Edgas hesitated, "what if I believe in the wrong thing?" "Better to believe in the wrong thing," Chadvey said, "than nothin' at all. People who've nothing to believe in, are easy to control." "But still, what if I get it wrong? What if it everything goes bad because it was the wrong thing?" "Then at least you've tried. You've played your part. You've stared down the darkness." Chadvey smiled, "sometimes the darkness does win lad, let it not be for lack of challenge." Edgas thought, and stared out the small window. "Why aren't we going back to the Mün? That's what started all this, isn't it?" Chadvey shook his head, "too dangerous. The seal's been broken, and it's strong there now. Ah think anyone who went anywhere near that anomaly would just end up like Edmund and Billy-Bobrim. No, we need to go where it's still trapped and weak. To Bop." Edgas looked around the cramped pod, "but... in this?" Chadvey rolled his huge eyes and fired the thrusters again, "no..." He said with a grin, pointing past Edgas out the window, "in that." Edgas gaped in amazement. "Told ya lad," said Chadvey, "Ah pulled some strings."

Delah, many. If it serves the Beam.

Chapter 27: Shadows of the Kraken Edgas gave Chadvey a blank stare. "The Kraken?" He said, "Bit old for fairy tales, aren't you?" "Oh, yer never too old for fairy tales, lad," Chadvey replied, his grin returning, "they usually teach ya something worthwhile." "I don't follow." "Back in Gednalna, crusty sea captains spun yarns of the Kraken, a horrible sea serpent that tore ships apart and dragged Kerbs to their doom, until it was slain by the great hero Jebediah, and his fiery spear, Krakensbane. The legend translated so well to space it's become a cliché." Edgas stared. A twinkle came to Chadvey's eye, "the desert dwellers who lived on the temple grounds a thousand years after it was abandoned called it Shai'tan, an entity that sought to unmake the world until it was trapped outside of reality using its own power, by a Chief of Chiefs." Edgas pinched his eye... bulges. "In what's now Exast, Ram Abbalah sat upon a throne of skulls, and tried to destroy not just his own but every world, until O'lan, Knight of the Rose, did battle with him at a Dark Tower. The Roweleen of Zamoan recorded tales of a dark wizard called Voldemort on their pottery. To the Tolkeen people of modern Ussari, it was Morgoth, they wrote many, many books about that one. The Abenaki called it Malsumis. It's been called Mictlantecuhtli, Amatsu-Mikaboshi, Whiro, Set, Unicron, Tau, Angra Mainyu, Apep, Gozer, Azathoth, Tash, and Ah canna even pronounce the Ceriman word as it seems to be all consonants and mucus." Chadvey leaned in closer, his face appearing to take on a sinister cast in the dim light of the pod, "every culture, every people, every community that has ever lived on this planet, tho' they be separated by thousands of miles and thousands of years, has had their own understanding of it. It has so many names, one is as good as any other." Edgas was at last beginning to understand the enormity of what he was saying. "It is the embodiment of chaos. The antithesis of life. It is will, devoid of thought, it is opposition, devoid of meaning. It is the darkness that's left, when every good thing has been stripped away." "It's... evil?" "Evil is s such a Kerbal term. It implies some sort of innate morality. 'Amoral' isn't even right, it is outside of morality. Hostility, aversion to existence. Ah could go on, but never quite convey it. It's...." "Beyond our ability to comprehend?" "Aye, lad. No matter how bad ya think it is, the reality is much much worse," Chadvey said with a grin. Edgas thought. For a moment, he let a piece of the seal drift and tumble slowly in front of him, until it reminded him he was shortly due for his traditional bout of post-launch space sickness. The scientist in him was screaming, railing about the ridiculousness of it all, of some fairy tale mün monster. The practical Kerbal in him was simply standing against the wall, arms folded, with a smug look on his face that said I told you so. Edgas closed his bulging eyes, and rubbed at the wide flat place between them. "You sent us there," he finally said, "you chose the landing site, and the Company financed it. I remember your name specifically on the documents. You chose Edmund, Billy, and me specifically, yet you never gave us a word of warning. Why? You seem to finally be the one with all the answers, so why Chadvey?" "Aye, Ah did," he replied, staring very hard at nothing, "Ah wanted to go back m'self, do... something m'self. But then they promoted me. Made me an Assistant Deputy Director. Ah didna want it, not at all, knew Ah'd be stuck planetside. There's someone else, ya see. Dr. K. may have told you about him. He's been at this for longer than I have. Has his hand in everything. The more I realized the situation, the more he was able to cage me. It took years of research, chasing leads, following hunches, to glean what Ah've gleaned about that seal, and about what it had bound. Ah have a scarce few on mah side, Dr. K. was one. He knew what he was getting into with Billy-Bobrim, knew what it might eventually do to him. "But Ah'm ramblin. It's been all move, and counter-move, for the last many years. Ah knew I couldn't get back there m'self, and honestly, I wouldn't have and still don't know what to do, not exactly. Ah picked you three deliberately. Edmund was a good friend, Ah'd flown with him many times, including right after the sabotage on the station that took poor Jorrigh. He was clever and cunning, but he'd never endanger his crew, not him. Ah didna know about his illness. It changed him, made him reckless, ambitious. Ah thought he would keep you out of trouble. But Ah knew you'd find trouble anyway, so Ah sent Billy-Bobrim. He could fix anathin, if anyone could get you out of trouble, it would be him. And he didna have a mean bone in his body. What better to play against the sum of all evil, than the incorruptible? And finally, there's you," he turned to Edgas, "you're smart, lad. Smarter than me, smarter than most anyone here, but you've got heart too, tho' yah may not ken it. Ah thought, if anyone could find a solution, without even knowing the problem, to put together everything Ah'd spent years figuring out together in just a short time, when it was most needed, it would be you." Chadvey's face was now drawn, and contrite, "Ah was wrong. What was there, Ah understand it now, sort of. If you had gone with them, it would have gotten you too, then we'd all be lost." "What??" "Whatever was there wasn't the Kraken. More like a...a..." Chadvey waved a hand in the air as he searched for the word, "an essence. A distillation. A trap. It got into Edmund, and Billy-Bobrim, but because of their unique... circumstances, it couldn't do whatever it is it wants to do. If it had gotten into you, maybe even some of it has..." Edgas's thoughts darted between a million places at once, "you mean Edmund... saved me?" "Aye. Whether he knew was he was doing at the time, or it was just the innate discretion I've always admired him for, he did." "But... he did all those awful things..." "As Ah said, I don't think there was much of Edmund left anymore by then. Whatever got into him was more like a shade, a shadow. A shadow has no substance, it can't touch the world directly, only influence and guide. Edmund, in turn, was in a perfect position to spread that influence, he had the ear of many powerful people." "But what about Billy?" "Ah don't know lad, I really haven't the foggiest." Edgas gave him a dirty look, but then a thought occurred as he mentally went back over Chadvey's words, something he'd missed. "Wait, you just said the station was sabotaged. Not an accident." "Give ya three guesses who built the core module. And that wasn't the last time Layland-Wutani had an 'irregularity' with the quality of their hull seals." "Go on..." "You work in the contracts department, dig theirs up for the Münbase hardware, specifically the rover. Buried deep in the fine print is a stipulation that if the crew has to abandon the facility for a medical evac, or if they just happen to die on a sortie, the Company is immediately entitled to a very large sum of money to cover the loss of their 'assets' in situ. Several times what said assets actually cost to produce." Edgas's eyes grew wide. Micrometeoroid! ...put a hole in the hull somewhere too, but damned if I can find it..... Had to make the trip back on suit ox... starting to run low.... Chadvey entered more numbers into the computer, fired the thrusters again. Edgas let the thoughts float around his head as he glanced out the window. Aren't we unusually high for a space station rendezvous? "What does it all mean? I'm still missing the connection," Edgas said. "Ah dunno, but the Company's mixed up in it somehow. On paper, they went there looking for magnetite. Magnetite has some value, but barely enough to justify going to the Mün to get it." Edgas could feel that awful taste creeping back yet again, and grimaced. Chadvey noticed this. "Ya dunna trust me, do ya lad?" he said with that constant, wry grin. "Um, actually..." "Well good," Chadvey said with a wink, "if Ah were you, Ah wouldna trust anyone. Especially me." Edgas stuck his tongue out against the taste, scraped it against his teeth. "Now what in the blazes are you..." Chadvey began, then his eyes widened, "ach, ya fell asleep by the lake didn't yah?" He shook his head incredulously, "never fall asleep by the lake, every first-year recruit knows that! You'll wake up with a RatSquirrelFish playin' kissy-face, they're frisky this time of year. Taste'll stay with ya fer days." Edgas rolled his eyes, "do you have any gum?" "Gum? On a space ship? Ach, hang on," he said, as he rummaged around wherever it was he kept producing odd things from, "here, chew on this." He handed Edgas a small, round, lump of brown... something. For a moment Edgas though to question, but... he popped the lump into his mouth and chewed. "Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! This is horrible! It burns! What on Kerbin is it?!?" "Ah've absolutely no idea," Chadvey said, "it collects around the RCS ports some times. But you dunna taste the wee beastie any more do yah?" Edgas didn't think he'd taste anything else ever again. And for the moment, wasn't complaining about it. He looked out the window again. "Aren't we way too high to reach the space station?" he asked. "Oh, we're not going to the space station, lad. That was just a pretext to steal the mule." Lovely, Edgas thought, Murder, Accessory to Murder, and Grand Theft Space Ship. Throw jaywalking on that and I'll really be done for. "Then where are we going?" That mischievous wink again. "To Jool." ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Elsewhere.... A small, white, lonely figure drifted silently above Kerbin. The sun was just coming up again. The figure hoped someone would be along soon, he was starting to get hungry. But you really couldn't beat the view from up here, you really just couldn't. Can't even. Oh well, might as well take it from the top again. "Ninety-nine bottles of non-alcoholic-carbonated-malt-based-space-beverage-in-a-bag on the wall, ninety-nine bottles of non-alcoholic-carbonated-malt-based-space-beverage-in-a-bag! If one of those bottles shold happen to fall, ninety-eight bottles of non-alcoholic-carbonated-malt-based-space-beverage-in-a-bag on the wall! Ninety-eight bottles of non-alcoholic-carbonated-malt-based-space-beverage-in-a-bag on the wall, ninety-eight bottles of non-alcoholic-carbonated-malt-based-space-beverage-in-a-bag! If one of those bottles should happen to fall, ninety-seven bottles of non-alcoholic-carbonated-malt-based-space-beverage-in-a-bag on the wall! Ninety-seven bottles of non-alcoholic-carbonated-malt-based-space-beverage-in-a-bag....."

Loving this, what's the balloon in the early posts from?

Good, that means I'm getting it right. UPDATE: Fixed a pretty glaring (NAME) editing miss, and made a continuity tweak. That's what I get for being in a hurry & posting from the road.

Chapter 26: Revelations Chadvey sighed, "Ah suppose a little knowledge is the least Ah owe ya at this point." Edgas gave him a blank look and crossed his arms. "Ah hardly even know where ta begin." "How about at the beginning?" "Aye," Chadvey said, suddenly looking very tired, "the beginning. What do you remember about mah Mün landing?" Edgas raised an eye... bulge at the older Kerbal. "Humor an old Kerb," Chadvey said. Edgas sighed and rolled his eyes. He could already feel the familiar threads of nausea creeping in. He hated microgravity. And the taste was coming back... "Tranquilitis Planitia, on the far side. Chosen to give you the biggest, flattest area possible for such a dangerous one-Kerb landing. Geologically pretty boring, created communications difficulties, but was the quickest way to get someone on the Mün before the Ussaris did." "Aye, that's what y've bin told, and the best lies always have a good helping of truth in them." "What do you mean?" "Ah wanted to land 250 clicks to the northwest, where it was even flatter. Insisted on it. Planned for it. But someone at the Agency was dead set on putting me down where Ah wound up. Documents were changed, others went missing, so by the time we actually got there it looked like that was the plan all along. Ah talked to a dozen different administrators after Ah got back, not a single one would own the change, everyone pointed somewhere else and had the paperwork ta prove it." Or maybe you just landed where you wanted to, and covered it up later. "Ok, so what's the point?" Chadvey rolled his eyes, "point is, as you pointed out, it was all about the competition back then. Had to get boots on the grounds before the other fellows did. There was a lot of secrecy, and secrecy makes it easy to hide more secrets. Nothing was broadcast live, it was all recorded and released after the fact once they were sure nothing had gone wrong. Far side of the Mün 'communication difficulties' makes that very convenient. So the point is, when Ah actually stepped out of the lander, only half a dozen people actually knew anything about it." Edgas nodded him on. "Jorrigh, the--" Chadvey's breath caught in mid-sentence, his eyes wandering, "he was t'be married, y'know," he said to no one in particular, "to a delightful Ussari gel. Used his flight mass allowance to bring along this little bear on a keychain. Said if he couldn't give her the Mün, he'd at least give her something that'd been round the Mün, When he--" Chadvey tensed, as if realizing Edgas was there for the first time. It took him a moment to continue, "er, anyways, Jorrigh was the MUL pilot in orbit, relaying the signals. Then there was Jerdous and Burdous, as representatives of the corps, Gene, the Chief Administrator--" his voice tried to catch again, sheer will seeming to be all that prodded him on, "and the acting Flight Director, and a Robert Kerman from Layland Heavy Industries, who had provided the hardware under contract." Wheels in Edgas's head began to turn. A year after the landing, Layland Heavy Industries merged with Wutani-Kokuki to become the mega-conglomerate Layland-Wutani. Who financed Edgas's own mission to the Mün. "Gears clicking, aren't they?" said Chadvey with a wink, "bet this'll stop up the works. Right about the time the merger became official, Jorrigh died in the malfunction on the space station, and Gene died in a plane crash. A very convenient coincidence. Which, incidentally, set a policy in motion that, also very conveniently, prohibits the Flight Director, or any of his deputy staff, like yours truly, from being on the active roster..." "...and if you're not on the active roster, even a deputy Flight Director needs a pilot," said Edgas, his eyes growing wide with realization. "Aye! And guess when that policy just happened to go into effect, all the right paperwork in place the whole time, just 'overlooked.'" Edgas didn't need to. "But wait, so what happened on the Mün then?" "Ah found something. Two somethings, actually, but Ah brightened up b'fore Ah told anyone about the second. There on the surface, not far from where Ah landed, was a small pedestal. It was either very big, or very heavy, 'cause it was firm in the ground. No Kerbal could have put it there. Aye, Ah can see ya doubt mah word." From somewhere, Chadvey produced a small object wrapped in a cloth, "this is what Ah didna tell them about. Sitting on that pedestal, Ah found this." He handed the object to Edgas. He unwrapped it, so amazed he let the cloth float away. It was actually two objects, that looked like they had once been one. A pure white disk, about the size of Edgas's hand, perfectly smooth yet not shiny. It was broken in two by a jagged, random line with many sharp edges. Other than the crack, it looked absolutely pristine and perfect. It felt extremely light, which was an odd thing to think in microgravity, but there it was. What was it made of? Porcelain perhaps? And some sort of strange, angular markings etched along the rim of one half. "What....?" Edgas wondered absently, turning the objects over in his hands. "Ah took it to the lab, and the machine shop. Tried every drill bit, abrasive, cutting agent, chemical, multi-gigawatt laser, even a furnace that can melt titanium. Nothing so much as scratched the surface. Ah canna tell ya what's its made of 'cause Ah canna even get a sample to analyze. But Ah do believe what ya have in yer hands there, is absolutely indestructible." Edgas moved it around in his hands. It felt so fragile. "Ah ah, dunna try t' break it, you'll only hurt your thumbs. Dunna ask me how Ah know." Edgas looked at him, then looked back at the jagged, broken edge. He considered running a finger along it, then thought the better. Instead he took one piece, reached out and dragged the broken edge against one of the titanium ribs of the pod. It cut a small gouge, just enough to draw up a long curl of metal. "That's.... impossible...." Edgas said, still looking at it. "No, that's just improbable," Chadvey said with a wink, "the truly impossible is yet t' come. You've noticed the writing there?" Edgas looked more closely, "so it is writing? And you have no idea what it says, right?" "Oh, but Ah do," Chadvey retorted, "took me years to transliterate it, because at first Ah didna believe what Ah had. Ah've scoured the historical record, that script does not exist anywhere, from any era. You're familiar with the ancient temple half buried in the desert?" Edgas looked at him, confused. The Temple of Nahtdahtunkhamun, the Boy King, and his bride, Queen Ahmahoyep the Fertile. According to legend, she bore thirty-three sons, none of whom bore the slightest resemblance to Nahtdahtunkhamun. The succession crisis upon his death was... interesting, to say the least. But what did that have to do with...? "When they were excavating the place," Chadvey continued, they found a stone tablet that had been used as building material, much older than the temple itself. Written on it was the same inscription in half a dozen different ancient languages. Nobody paid much attention to what was written on the back, since that one was already a dead language when the tablet was made." Edgas ran his finger lightly over the straight, angular markings. Why did they seem so familiar? "The script on the tablet, and on that disk, are similar, but not identical. But it was enough for me to glean the basic phonemes, to read the sounds, as it were. Ah thought Ah'd made a mistake, what Ah had transliterated couldn't possibly be right. Spent years tryin' prove meself wrong." A connection kept floating around on the edge of Edgas's consciousness, like a light so dim it disappeared if you tried to look directly at it. He'd seen these shapes somewhere before. Wait, why did Chadvey keep saying... "Transliterated?" He asked, "don't you mean translated?" Chadvey had an odd twinkle in his eye, "get ready to have yer mind blown, lad. The writing is ancient, but the words it spells out..." Edgas looked at him. "Are in Kerblish." Edgas's mouth dropped, "wait, what?! That's..." "...impossible?" "Yes!" They were speaking Kerblish right now, it couldn't be, because... "Kerblish is only a few hundred years old. That tablet would be--" "Thousands. And if mah hunch is right, what ya have there," Chadvey said, pointing towards the disk, "is much, much older." Edgas stared at the broken disc again. Where had he seen markings like that before? "What does it say?" "'That is not dead, which can eternal lie.' And no, Ah haven't the foggiest what it means." Edgas rubbed his chin, turning the words now over in his head. His eyes lost focus, wandered about the cabin as he thought. Eternal lie, what could--- "THERE!" Edgas shouted, pointing at something on the console. "What?! What's wrong?" Chadvey said, startled, "my gauges are all--" "No, THERE!" Edgas wasn't pointing to a gauge, it was right there on the panel its self. "I knew I'd seen markings like that before! Look..." "What?" Chadvey leaned in closer. Now it was his turn to stare wide-eyed. "By the stars," he said softly, "Ah must have seen that a thousand times by now, and never made the connection." It was right there all along, staring up at them from between the gauges. It wasn't perfect, but once noticed, the resemblance was unmistakable. The thin, angular lines of the Layland-Wutani logo could have come right from the writing on the disc. "You found this on the Mün?" Edgas asked. It didn't make sense. "No one could have beaten you there and planted it?" "Ahm pretty sure we in the Kerblish-speaking world would have noticed if someone would have been to the Mün in the last few hundred years. Bit hard to hide footprints up there y'know," Chadvey said, "but there is a connection you're still missing." "What?" "Think about it... what were the coordinates of mah landing?" "Oh that's easy, zero degrees forty minutes thirty-six seconds south, a hundred fifty-six degrees thirty-twoGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" Edgas stared wide-eyed as the realization hit him. The fractured-reality sensation was pulsating. Obvious, it was so obvious! "Antipode!" he gasped, "it's the antipode, the exact opposite of the Mün from our landing." "Almost," said Chadvey, "the antipode of the pedestal where Ah found that disc, is right in the center of the anomaly area near your landing. When I found it, it was still whole. Nothing could even scratch it. It broke, on its own, the day Edmund and Billy-Bobrim went there. And Ah'll bet mah ridiculous government salary it broke the very minute they stood before whatever is really there." Edgas stared down at fractured white disc in his hands, suddenly very afraid. "What is this?" He whispered to it. "It's a seal." Said Chadvey. Edgas turned to him, "what was sealed?" Chadvey looked at him, utterly devoid of his usual humor. "The Kraken."

Hmmm. The TvTropes are strong with this one.

Chapter 25: Space Oddity "Tee plus four minutes, twenty seconds, SECO in twenty seconds, set abort mode four." Derpy seemed to have finally run out of steam with that last note. That, or he had just crossed into the ultrasonic. Either way, Buford T. Kerman couldn't hear him anymore. Probably had permanent hearing damage. Might not hear anything ever again. Forget kicking Derpy out the hatch, he was gonna kill him. Wrap his fingers around that scrawny little neck and just squeeeeeeeeze until no more sound came out. Ever. His thought was interrupted when the upper stage engines cut off. The push of acceleration was replaced by the unnerving sensation of weightlessness. Despite spending weeks on the space station, he had never really gotten used to it. It made the uncomfortable spot between his shoulder blades itch, feeling like he was falling and constantly bracing for an impact that never came. Chadvey's arms floated listlessly in front of him like a bad movie monster. He was still snoring. "Telemetry looks good Bounty, go for staging." "Bounty copies, staging..." said Pilot-Derpy. Another thunk and jolt, and Bounty was at last flying freely. With no cargo carried beneath her on the upper stage, it would be left to drift back into the atmosphere and burn up, and Bounty would continue into orbit on her own tiny engine. "Solar panels deployed, comms deployed, OGLE deployed, all lights green." "Copy you Bounty. Set EDS to disarm, greens across the board, you are go for orbit. One minute twenty-six at tee plus six minutes thirty-three seconds." Derpy started babbling again, turned a knob, flicked a lever, removed the big red abort handle from the console, and stowed it. A few moments later, he entered the numbers into the computer, and fired the small LV-909 engine, pushing Bounty the last bit into a stable orbit. "We read OME cut at tee plus seven minutes, fifty-six seconds, orbit is good." "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!" screamed Derpy, reaching new levels of volume and ear damage, "THAT WAS TOTALLY WICKED!!!!" He pounded his fists against the armrests of his couch, "I'M IN SPAAAACE!!!" Chadvey suddenly snorted, "well, are we there yet?" He looked up, grinning widely. "This is awesome, Mr. Kerman!" Derpy shouted, unbuckling his harness and smacking his faceplate loudly against the small window in the hatch, straining to see out, "this view is fantastic! We're just passing the terminator to the night side!" Buford T. Kerman sighed, and started unbuckling his own harness. Chadvey put a gloved hand on his arm, gave the slightest shake of his head, loosened his own harness but did not remove it. "I can't believe I finally made it! Ohboyohboyohboy! And to be here with you, Mr. Kerman," Derpy blathered, turning slightly towards Chadvey, "you've done it all and back over again and been to the Mün and Minmus and that was so cool I've always wanted to see Minmus man I wish I coulda been there with you--" "So do I, lad, so do I," Chadvey cut in. Derpy stopped in mid derp. "Really?" he said, looking confused. "Aye," Chadvey reached past him, "then Ah wouldna haveta do this," and pulled the emergency hatch release. There was a whump and a rush, and Derpy was just... gone... the end of his umbilical pointing accusingly out of the open hatch. Buford T. Kerman stared in wide-eyed, open mouthed horror. I... I wasn't actually going to... "Bounty? Bounty respond... We read loss of cabin pressure, what's your status?" Chadvey turned to him and placed a gloved finger against his faceplate over his lips. Shhhhhhhhhhh. He reached over and shut off the radio, then began quickly and methodically flipping switches and pulling circuit beakers. He's.... He's powering down the ship? Why? Finally he switched the main buss breakers, and the lights went out, leaving the pod illuminated only by small red emergency lights hidden away somewhere. To Buford T. Kerman's continued shock, Chadvey then switched off his own suit life support. He brought his face in close, mouthed the words, breathe shallow, another click, and then, utter silence. Buford T. Kerman was surrounded by silence the likes of which he had never imagined. Without the annoying, familiar whisp of air over his face from the circulation fans, the only sound in the world was his own light breathing. He just stared at Chadvey, too shocked to even move. From somewhere, Chadvey produced a small, black box with two red-covered toggle switches. He flipped the cover on one, flipped the switch, and a small red light came on, glowing brightly in the darkness. He flipped the cover on the other, flipped the switch, there was a tingle, then even the emergency lights went out, and darkness swallowed the pod. It was a thick, heavy, constricting darkness like he'd known back on the Mün. Buford T. Kerman tried to swallow with a dry throat. He could feel the darkness pressing in all around, squeezing him, choking him, trying to steal the breath from his lungs. He was sure he was about to panic, flail and scream use up the tiny bubble of air left in his suit, when Chadvey ever so gently gripped his helmet and moved his face to the small, round window next to him. Buford T. Kerman's breath did stop. Shining there in the darkness outside the lonesome pod, the stars blazed like eternity. In their thousands upon thousands, they seemed to swarm down upon the ship like the beacons of an Army of Light, arriving in the last desperate moment to rescue the fortress defenders when the walls had fallen and all seemed lost. He had seen stars before, of course, had spent long hours observing them from the space station, but always sullied by light seeping in from somewhere. Never like this. Never with such power. They exploded before him with color and life. The thought occurred to him, that only in the darkest times could the light shine the brightest. For that fleeting moment, he lost himself, and for the first time in a very long time, the hint of a smile touched the corners of his mouth. Then the interior lights came back on, and Buford T. Kerman was drawn back to reality. Chadvey was quickly powering the pod's systems back on, obviously avoiding the radios and telemetry. Finally he dragged the floating umbilical back in, leaned out and pulled the hatch shut, and quickly disabled the emergency release. He turned some knobs, the reedy sound of rushing air indicating that cabin pressure had returned. Chadvey finally pulled his helmet off, then motioned to Buford T. Kerman, who suddenly realized he hadn't had any oxygen in quite some time. He quickly yanked his own helmet off and was left panting and sweating. "Well, he was sure annoying, want he?" Said Chadvey with a grin. "GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" screamed Buford T. Kerman, waving his arms wildly in frustration, "I am sick! And tired! Of things just... happening! To me while I sit here with with a stupid look on my face! Just what in the five moons of Jool is going on here?!?" "Now calm down, lad, I'll explain--" began Chadvey, holding his hands up in placation. "You just killed Derpy!" "Someone will be along for him sooner or later, it's a busy orbit y'know--" "That was just a flight suit, he doesn't have any thrusters!" "He'll be fine, lad, that suit's got enough air for a good day or two. 'Long as he shuts up." "But why?!? You just..." kicked him out the hatch. Right out the bloody hatch. "Wasna expecting him. Was supposed to be just us, someone must have thrown him in at the last minute. It was a sloppy thing to do, hurried, but Ah think that means we're actually ahead for once. Caught 'em by surprise, we did." "Caught who?! What?! Why?!" "Calm down lad, Ah'll explain what Ah can," Chadvey said as he began punching rendezvous numbers into the MechJeb terminal. Buford T. Kerman tried very hard to get his breathing under control. "Ok, ok. Can... can I stop being Buford T. Kerman now?" He said, absently feeling at his Truly Awesome but fake mustache. "Yes!" Chadvey said emphatically, firing the thrusters, "and take that ridiculous thing off!"

Finally downloaded .90. Played me some STOCK. Blew stuff up, went to Minmus, got stuck on Minmus, rescued from Minmus, went to the Mün, stranded some Kerbals on Eve. Good times. - - - Updated - - - How do you know unless you try? Brotoro, MAKE THEM TOUCH DAMMIT! MAKE THEM TOUCH NOW!

Lesse here..... About 14 seconds in... then they skip it, keep going, and MILA finally wakes up and chimes in like half a minute later.

'tis not forgotten And that would be sister Yup that's the one. Came across that looking for launch polls and just couldn't pass it up. I mean seriously, WTH MILA?? (Zaroeka Island Launch Annex is the large island east & slightly north of KSC. Looked like a good place for a radar range.)

Chapter 24: Lighting the Candle "SEC to flight arm." "SEC, check." Eight minutes. Buford T. Kerman could feel the old familiar panic roiling in the back of his throat. He never let it overwhelm him, just Kerb'd up and dealt with it. But it was still unpleasant. "Oh yeah! Gettin' real now!" And not the only thing unpleasant. Derpy was getting more and more wound up. As soon as... "Tee minus seven minutes, begin auto sequence start." Derpy began laughing maniacally. The launch sequence was nearly fully automated from this point. Derpy had nothing else to do but make more and more noise and occasionally press a button. How on Kerbin could Chadvey be sleeping though that?? "Booster LOX purge." "Booster purge. "Core LOX purge." "Core purge." "Upper LOX purge." "Upper purge." "Tee minus five minutes, spacecraft to internal power." Buford T. Kerman saw lights come and go on the control panel, felt the rocket groan and whine as fluids and gasses changed places. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest. "Fuel tanks to flight pressure." "RCS purge, nozzle check, tanks to flight pressure." "Batt heaters off." "Cantwaitcantwaitcantwait!" "Firing command enable." "Firing command on." "We have the firing command." "Tee minus two minutes." "YES! YES! YES!" Crap! Crap! Crap! "Pull Q-ball cap." "Terminate LOX replenish." "Close topping valves." "Closed." "Close vent valves." "Closed." "Tee minus one minute." Buford T. Kerman crossed his arms over his chest and grabbed his restraints tight. Derpy was punching at the air and ululating. Chadvey was snoring again. Loudly. "Tee minus thirty seconds, abort to mode one." Derpy reached up and turned a knob next to the abort handle another click, "it's happening! It's really happening!" It's happening! It's really happening! Let me out! "Tee minus twenty seconds, start engine gimbal test." "Tee minus fifteen seconds, activate sound suppression water." "Tee minus ten seconds." "YEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS!" NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! "Nine." "Eight." "Seven." "Ignition sequence start." Any further coherent thought from Buford T. Kerman was drowned out as the massive clusters of engines below roared into life. The sound was indescribable. Every atom in his body seemed to resonate and shudder like it would tear him apart. His hands, his feet, his jaw, every part of him trembled uncontrollably, whether or not it was from fear no longer mattered. The sheer power raging beneath was transcendent, the world drifted away and was consumed in noise and shaking and fire. "Five" "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" "Four." "SPAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!" "Three." "GOOOOOOOOOOIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNG!" "Two." "Express elevator to heaven, boys!" Derpy somehow yelled above the din. "One." "GOING UP!" "Liftoff." One hundred and seventy meters below, pyrotechnic bolts detonated, separating the lugs that held the rocket to the launchpad against the tearing force of its twenty mighty engines. Microseconds later, as the beast crept a centimeter off its rests, more bolts fired, severing the umbilical cables, the arms then swinging and slamming into their bunkers with bone shattering force. Finally free from the surly grip of Kerbin, it lurched upwards with a shudder. Derpy Kerman screamed with unbridled glee. Buford T. Kerman just screamed. "The clock is running, yaw program." "We have yaw." Said Pilot-Derpy. "Yeah baby! Go! Go! Go! "Tee plus eight seconds, Bounty has cleared the tower. Handover to GNN." Buford T. Kerman was trying very hard not to hyperventilate. Everything was noise and motion. "Mission Control GNN has the ball," said a new voice on the radio, "telemetry looks good. Bounty, go for roll." "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Now safely past the launch tower, the rising rocket slowly rolled to the proper attitude for the gravity turn. "You spin me right round baby right round like a record baby...!" Gaaaaaaaaaaaah, he was sitting in the loudest place in the world how could he possibly still hear Derpy?! That singing was not natural! "Roll complete, pitch program." "We are pitching." shift "Poyekhali!" Acceleration began to build. Buford T. Kerman could feel himself getting heavier, being pushed down into his couch. "Tee plus thirty-eight seconds, altitude five kilometers, downrange distance one kilometer, Bounty is supersonic." The shaking was getting worse, increasing in frequency. "Tee plus forty-two seconds, abort to mode two, all systems nominal." Derpy turned the knob again, "it's nom-in-al it's nom-in-al wootwoot!" "Tee plus fifty four seconds, altitude ten kilometers, downrange distance four kilometers, max Q at Mach 1.5." "Fasternfasternfaster!" The shaking and noise just kept building and building, crushing Buford T. Kerman against his couch. "Tee plus one minute, twenty-six seconds, altitude twenty-five kilometers, downrange distance twenty kilometers, speed Mach 3.1, trajectory on course, twenty seconds to BECO." "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! This is it!" Buford T. Kerman could barely see the mission clock through the shaking, the press of acceleration was becoming painful, even his eyes felt heavy. Just a little longer, just a little longer... ...44...45...46 There was a thunk and a jolt, and suddenly the noise and shaking dropped off to a low rumble. Outside, as the four giant PropelOx boosters neared the end of their fuel supply, they shut down in unison. Explosive bolts severed their struts to the core stage and small rocket motors pushed them away from the ascending stack. They briefly formed a cross shape behind the rocket before tumbling away as Bounty continued on her four main engines. "Tee plus one minute, fifty three seconds, staging is good, boosters clear, altitude forty-two kilometers, downrange distance fifty kilometers." "We're almost to space! We're almost to space! Yippieeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" Acceleration was starting to build again. It would reach over four and a half gees before the main engines cut out. Buford T. Kerman concentrated on taking slow, deep breaths. The propellium hydroxide main engines ran much smoother than the boosters. As long as they didn't explode. He could see the displays again. Now Derpy was singing something about a magic carpet ride. The scientist in him was morbidly fascinated. Surely the sounds coming from Derpy's mouth were a violation of the laws of acoustics, let alone the biological limitations of vocal cords. The practical Kerbal in him, however, was making a mental list of sharp things within easy reach he could jam in his own ears. "Tee plus two minutes, forty-eight seconds, altitude seventy-nine kilometers, downrange distance one hundred fifty-seven kilometers, thirty seconds to MECO." "Almost there! Almost there! Woooooooohoooooooo!" Almost there. One more terror to endure before they made orbit. Or exploded. Buford T. Kerman looked out his window at the wall of the launch shroud. "Tee plus three minutes eight seconds, ten seconds to MECO, mode three arm, jett arm." "Copy, mode three arm, jett arm," said pilot-Derpy. Just a little longer. Six seconds after MECO and staging. Always scared the life out of him. Then it would get better. Buford T. Kerman closed his eyes tight and ground his teeth. "MECO in five... four... three... two... one...." It felt like an explosion, the rocket lurched again. Half a second before the main engines shut off the upper stage engine fired with core stage still attached. Primacord then detonated the instant they did shut down, slicing the interstage apart and letting the upper stage fly free. "I'M GONNA SEE SPAAAAAAAAAAAACE!!!!" "Bounty, MECO and staging is good, set abort mode three prep for tower jett." "Copy, go for jett." Derpy confirmed. "Tower jett on my mark, Bounty. Three... two... one... LET IT GO!" Buford T. Kerman's eyes shot open. No... Noise, fire, shudders. NO.....! Derpy opened his mouth. Not that! Derpy took a deep breath. ANYTHING BUT THAT! Sound. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Buford T. Kerman screamed the rest of the way to space.