"Good evening everyone, my name is Plumbum Aurum Kerman and this is your local news.
Since the opening of first "Church of the Everlasting Booster" the inhabitants of planet Kerbin are in a frenzy.
Apparently all scientists and engineers are angry because of this alleged con artist who promises a booster that can reach all stars in the Universe and will never run out of fuel. What he expects of the followers of his doctrine is unclear but he claims there exists an "interface", whatever that may be, with a sort of heavenly "button" to magically convert the power of our Universe into the power the booster would need. I hope that booster doesn't use too much fuel! Hu. Huhuhuhu.
Yeah. *cough*.
Pilots and tourists have been polled and 77% of them want to go to the opening. Apparently not expecting this, the CEO of the church quadrupled the ticket prices overnight, creating an outrage which dropped the percentage of interested people to 76.
Scientists have yet to figure out why the giant booster is floating above its pedestal. Believers say it's the work of the "God of No-Offset Limits" but that idea is ridiculed by many.
Meanwhile the first visitor has arrived and immediately he started complaining about the size of the parking lot.
That's it for now, back to you, Iridium."