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What's the worst that could happen?


vexx32

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While eating your delicious burger, your decide to get another one. And another one. And so on. And then you get hardened arteries, and have a heart attack. In the middle of a PETA meeting, and no one will do CPR on you, because you were eating a burger. And you die before 1.0 comes out.

I try to infiniglide in 1.0. What could go wrong?

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Due to a complicated series of unfortunate events, your child suffers from low self esteem, depression, and addiction to a game called "Kerbal Space Program", of the three the last is the most serious as it causes your child to create a forum account, whereupon he begins to post in a forum games thread called "What's the worst that could happen?".

I am Attila. I am revenge. I will hunt you down to the ends of space. You will never be able to relax again, for fear that I'm just around every corner. I will be. You cannot escape. I am coming.

I build a tylo lander.

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As you lean down to pour kibble into the bowl, a sudden pain hits your back, and as you go over to the couch to lie down, you slip on a cleverly placed banana peel which Attila has placed for you slip on, as you get up, Attila jumps out from behind the couch, wielding his bayonet and shouting "revenge", you run to the secret bunker you built very recently, and as you run in, screaming the auto-lock code for the blast proof door, you slip on the wet paint, and fall in the wet cement.

Behind you, the blast proof door falls off of it's hinges, as it was placed in wet cement. Attila runs in, furiously typing this forum post, he then slides into the wet cement.

Meanwhile, you run towards you secret escape rocket, which will take you to your private space station where you will be able to finally escape Attila.

You run into the rocket, locking the airlock and strapping yourself in. You activate the launch sequence and blastoff, but when you look at the external camera, you see Attila hanging on to a fin on your rocket, which mechjeb doesn't correct for, and you have to abort the launch.

As you parachute away from the exploding rocket, you think nothing could have survived the blast. You don't see Attila parachuting down.

When you capsule lands, get out and look around. You've hardly come 1/2 of a mile from you house, and now you have to walk back with a hurting back, to finally finish feeding the dog.

Mad rocket scientist

I should write a novel.

I take a walk along a river.

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You keep on refreshing the "Daily Kerbal" page, hoping for the countdown video to be posted.

Your happiness, however, ends when you realize that you lost the chance to be the first to post there.

I did. You then proceed to a dark place, where your mind goes free. You make plans to destroy me.

But then you just say "MEH", and ignore it.

I drink water.

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You look at your bloody hands, realizing what you just did. Shaking, you drop your weapon, and run. You manage to escape the place, but you cannot escape from your mind. "What have I done?? I've killed a person! Oh god, why??", you think. You enter a state of depression, and cannot stop thinking about what you had done. Then you realize that you've doomed not only my life and yours, but also of many people. "I do not deserve to live anymore. I must pay the price.", your insane mind thinks, over and over and over again. You grab a knife, and cut yourself. You bleed to death.

But in whatever afterlife you believed in, you find out that I was wearing body armor, and the so-called "blood" on your hands was actually ketchup from a hamburger you ate. I live. You don't.

I walk backwards while crossing a street. What's the worst that could happen?

Edited by windows_x_seven
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You wake up. After having breakfast and brushing your teeth, you sprint to your computer to see if you got any notifications or updates. To your dismay, however, the forum is on maintenance. You spend many hours looking at your screen and furiously pressing F5, without even blinking. Your vision starts to decay. All you can see is a tiny part of the screen, which says the forum's maintenance is taking a bit longer than usual. You feel pain all over your body, but you must check your notification. You spend many more hours, awaiting for the forum to come back online. All you can see now is a tiny word on your screen, "maintenance". You can't move your limbs, and they're cold. You feel your heartbeat stop. You can't breathe. The pain stops. But just for a moment. A ghastly light shows up near you, blinding the tiny bit of vision you had left. It's time for your departure from this planet. What's left of you is dragged violently to a hot lake of fire, and you get thrown inside it. Suddenly, all of your senses come back. You can feel yourself again, and while you find that amazing for a split second, you deeply regret it because of the burning pain all over your body and your insides. You cannot feel anything but pain. You cannot imagine anything but pain. You struggle to regain control of your body and mind, only to fail miserably. But you keep on trying. And you regain control of your mind for a millisecond. You regret checking the forum. You regret the way you treated people. You regret losing great opportunities in your life, because of your addiction to KSP and its forums. You're stuck in this lake of fire. You're stuck with pain for the rest of your afterlife. Because of the forums.

I go for a swim. What's the worst that could happen? (Please do an epic text.)

Edited by windows_x_seven
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You swim around for a while, and then you decide to jump in to the pool. As you jump in the pool, you see that your thunderbird style pool has retracted without warning, revealing TB1. You land on a pile of canvases which break your fall.

When you wake up you realize this is a another plot of Attila's to seek revenge, for you are his mother and you had a part in naming him. Suddenly Attila appears with a spear, luckily, because he is figuring out some insane plot for this post, you have time to roll away from the spear and run towards TB4, where you jump in and jet off under the water. Suddenly, a torpedo zooms by your port bow, and you look behind you, where you see another submarine right you, about to launch another torpedo. You take evasive action and dive. The other submarine dives too, and you keep on diving, hoping to go deeper than the other submarine. You continue to dive, and when you reach the max depth of your submarine, the other submarine is still right behind you. In a risky gamble, you continue to dive. The other submarine is still right behind you, when your submarine implodes.

Luckily, you were able to escape in the escape pod, mere moments before you would have been crushed. You escape pod floats to the surface, where you are picked up by a passing ship. Unfortunately, the ship is a pirate ship, and they force you to walk the plank. Seconds before you would have had to jump to the sharks below, the ship explodes, due to a torpedo from Attila's submarine.

You are thrown clear by the blast, and land in the water, where you are invisible to radar and sonar because that the sharks mask you to the submarine. Just when it appears that you will eaten, you see that the sharks have cockpits, because they are shark shaped submarines.

you are picked up in a shark submarine, where you discover that the submarines are driven by strange beings called "Kerbals" you say that they are aliens from a planet called "Kerbin" you explain your plight to them, and they agree to help you escape to Kerbin. You are transported back to the shore, where they put you, along with a crew of Kerbals, on a LEO shuttle, where you will get on a mothership back to Kerbin. As you lift off, you discover the reliability of kerbal rockets. Luckily, the LES worked, and you and the kerbals were blasted to safety.

You realize that maybe escaping on a kerbal rocket isn't the way to evade Attila, so you bid the kerbals farewell, and stow aboard a oil tanker to get back to your house.

When you get back, you discover a sign saying: I know you're still alive, Attila.

Whew!

I open a window.

Edited by Mad Rocket Scientist
Added some line breaks
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*claps*

Well done, sir. Well done.

EDIT: Wait a minute, why would you want to open me?

- - - The almighty text has arrived! Hooray! All hail to it! - - -

You try to open the window, with no result. You get some tools and try to unscrew the window. Although it is quite hard, you manage to do it. As you pull the window away, all of your air is sucked out. Why? Because you're in space. And you forgot about it. The air gets sucked out, and due to the immense air flow part of your craft flies off as well, pulling you away from your spacecraft and putting you in orbit around the Earth, with a really high apogee. You struggle to get back to your ship, but your efforts are in vain. There's no friction in space to save you. You're stuck in it, spinning and spinning. You start to get dizzy, and you throw up in your space suit, covering most of the suit's visor. Bits of your puke fly into your eyes, effectively blinding you. As you panic, you hear a low voice in your radio. It's mission control. They said they are working on finding out where you are, and will try to send a rescue mission as soon as possible. Hope brings you happiness, despite the foul odor and being blind. Little did you know, that Mission Control knew that it would be impossible to rescue you alive. Hours later, you're tired. Your eyes hurt like hell. The radio is plain static. You're still spinning. Your hopes of returning to your family is little. You start to cry, what makes your eyes hurt even more. You can barely breathe because catarrh is covering your nostrils. Suddenly, you hear a beeping. And you know what it means. You have reached the end of your oxygen supplies. You're not coming home, your family won't see you again. Friends are left behind. Lives are ruined. You see your entire lifetime in a microsecond. All of the memories, good ones and bad ones. You start to feel the cold coming from the extremities to your brain. You have one last thought.

Days later, a rescue ship rendezvouses with you. They have installed a camera on it, to record the first rescue made in orbit, although what the world saw was not what they wanted to. They saw a dead astronaut. They saw failure. Hopes were gone, and the world cried that very day.

​I eat a banana.

Edited by windows_x_seven
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While you rest to eat the banana, cyberman Hitler comes in and upgrades you.

More realistically (aka: 2 worst things for the price of 1):

As you eat the banana the top slips and falls on the floor. After standing up you slip and fall to the dishwasher which turns on and drowns you.

I sit in the middle of a wide building.

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Dang, a smart reference to the building..

It was a cold, dark day in space. The capsule, with Jeb hyping for going back, was floating. freezing.

"Mission Control, re-entry phase starting."

"Copy that."

All of a sudden, the capsule starts to be embalmed in the glorious flames of the atmosphere. Jeb was screaming in joy.

And then, a sudden BAM! shakes the whole capsule. Tons of alarms sound in the wake of this. The capsule was burning up.

Jeb didn't know what to do. Was this it? Are these his final days?

"Houston, I'm feeling the---"

And then, out of the blue, the small capsule gives in. It spins, and tears apart at great forces. Jebediah Kerman was thrown out at high velocity. He loses his consciousness, as the final words from KSC come in:

"Columbia. Please copy."

I'm sending a mothership to Minmus! What's the worst that can happen?

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You find that minmus's SOI has been closed of by the international kerbin environment protection organization (IKEPO). Your mothership crashes into the fence gate and you are fined for trespassing in a protected area.

I launch a nuke at a random location on earth's surface. Other than wasting a nuke, what's the worst that could happen? (be creative)

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The nuke doesn't detonate. Cool right?

Except a giant eagle picks it up and flies it right over a secret UN nuke disposal site in Antarctica which then detonates 1000+ nukes totally melting all the ice and snow causing all land mass to be submerged on Earth.

I eat toast with a fork. What is the worst that could happen?

Edit: He he, bellow, i posted it before you XD

Edited by worir4
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