How Jeb got so BadAss

[Draconiator]

Boredom + love of the game = Below:

Of all the probing questions of Kerbalkind, one in particular stands out amongst all others. This question concerns the most decorated Kerbal of all time, Jebediah Kerman. Indeed, great minds want to know, "How did you become such a badass?" Jebediah's history can be traced back all the way to 326B.S. (Before Space).

His great great grandfather sew the seeds of the Jebediah family line when he daily went out to wrestle the fiercest creatures imaginable. He was a hunter by trade, and did not believe in guns as it made hunting "too easy". So, he could be seen in the wilds subduing all manner of animals, from extremely vicious Kerbin wolves, to the gigantic Kerboose, which weighed in at over 2 tons, and had a head full of antlers. No one knows how he did such a feat, but he brought one of these down weekly. The national Kerbin newspaper now lists the Kerboose as "endangered", and states that Jebediah's great great grandfather as contributing to 14% of the decline.

Jebediah's great grandfather on the other hand was a thrillseeker, and he did everything he could to get a "high" as he called it. Trains were just beginning to be commonplace, and as such he is credited as the world's first train surfer. His greatest moment has to be aboard one of the the Kerbin National Railway trains in 298B.S., where he - by inches - avoided an oncoming tunnel by ducking inside of the train, scaring a load of passengers in the process. "Where did this strange Kerbal come from?!" they cried. He eventually married one of the startled passengers, and had the next in the line - Jebediah's grandfather.

Jebs grandfather was obsessed with space. Back then, Kerbals didn't really have the knowledge to get up to the "black thing above our heads", and many thought it was just a political stunt perpetuated by the Kerbin nation, so that when elections arrived, more people could go vote. Jeb's grandfather didn't think this way and actually had the idea that space was a REAL place, which he COULD get to if he tried hard enough. And try he did. He figured that if he hitched his pack animals up to a sled, and greased the runners up with animal fat, he could potentially go fast enough to launch into space, if he hit a jump on the way down a mountain slope. Poor Jebediah Sr. was witness to the attempt. Choosing the tallest mountain in the area, up he went with the animals and sled. At the summit, he greased up the runners and cut the animals loose. He hit a carefully-selected rise 2/3 of the way down and successfully made a jump - breaking a record in the process (the farthest distance traveled by an unladen Kerbal) - but did not make it to space. Alas, he died in the attempt.

Jeb's father decided he wasn't going to let his father's dream die, and tried other things to try and get to space. Of note, he bought some heavy-duty elastic to create a massive slingshot, which "might have worked if I did not accidentally spill some Koffee on it one day". He massively upgraded a vehicle he had to jump it to space, and THAT "would have worked if the engine didn't blow in the attempt". Success finally came when he sat aboard a stack of heavy barrels with explosives in them - the precursor to todays rockets. On that fateful day, 5 explosions propelled him ever upwards toward the stars - but he failed to note one thing - there's no air up there! He floated back to Kerbin under parachute, unconcious from the lack of oxygen. He came to weeks later and told Jeb that he must continue the research his father started, directly leading up to the now-famous barn that was KSC's humble beginning.

Jeb is still a thrillseeker himself. On his off-days he can be found launching aboard a small rocket equipped with an external seat for a quick orbit around Kerbin. He has wrestled the great Kerboose at times, although he has failed every time due to not having been raised in the woods. Still, Jeb has been extremely busy managing KSP, and he will continue to manage it and pass down his knowledge to his children.

[Columbia]

Mmm.. interesting story!