Project: Moho

[Vaporo]

So, this is a mission series that will be built around constructing infrastructure around Moho. Not much else to say at this point. Not entirely certain where I'm going to go with this, so it could turn into anything. It may even develop a real plot. I'll try to update at least once weekly, but no promises.

Part 1:

Edited December 13, 2015 by Vaporo

[Geschosskopf]

Hehe, the captions of the pics are hilarious ;).

Congrats on getting to Moho and props for doing it with LLLLLOOOOONNNNNGGGGGG ion burns.  One time I had a heavy probe go there that couldn't capture in the whole time it was in Moho's SOI, but at least it got into an orbit similar to Moho's and was able to capture pretty easily next time around the sun.

[Vaporo]

So, life got in the way, but I wanted to give this another shot.

Part 2:

Spoiler

Scientists: Hey, Mission Control. You know that probe that we had you send to Moho?

Mission Control: We have a feeling that this conversation will cost less money if I said no, but yes, we do.

Scientists: Good. Because we have developed a sixty-three thousand fund plan to land a probe on Moho.

Mission Control: (We should have said no) Do we dare ask why you want to land a probe on the second most boring and most difficult to reach planet in the solar system?

Scientists: Trust us, we're...

Mission Control: ...Scientists. Yes, we get it. (We should just stop asking questions.)

Mission Control: So, after having to explain why our last mission went so horribly to a government committee, we've made a decision. In a lazy attempt to change the narrative structure, we are going to hand the task of monitoring the primary mission to our intern, Matlorf Kerman!

 

Matlorf Kerman looked over the complicated array of controls on the screen before him. Why were they handing this job to him? Why?

(So the writer could try out a new narrative structure, Matlorf. I literally just said it two lines ago.)

Oh, right. He looked at the two communications controls. The tech department said that it was set up so that those buttons were all he had to worry about. One led to his immediate superior's office. The other led to the autopilot. The fully sentient, artificially intelligent autopilot that would obey him completely and utterly if he gave it a direct command. No, he wouldn't think about it. He would not think about how a single misspoken word could potentially transmute 63858 fully sentient funds into large smoking crater. Status reports. All he had to do was request and file status reports. If a command had to be made, he would call people who knew what they were doing. Just stick to the script. That's all he had to do.

He swallowed and reached for the comm button.

"Moho Landifier, this is Mission Control requesting a status update. Do you read?" There was a pause.

"MISSION CONTROL, THIS IS MOHO LANDIFIER. YOUR LAST TRANSMISSION WAS RECEIVED. STATUS IS NOMINAL. UPLOADING FULL STATUS REPORT NOW." Matlorf's console made a small beep, and a printer in the corner of the small room began working. He waited for it to finish, then stapled the report together and put it into the filing cabinet next to his console. That wasn't so hard. just stick to the script. Request status reports. Everything would be all right.

"MISSION CONTROL, THIS IS MOHO LANDIFIER, SENDING AN AUTOMATIC STATUS REPORT. STATUS IS NOMINAL. UPLOADING FULL STATUS REPORT NOW." The printer began working. Who was he kidding. So long as he stuck to the script, this job would be downright boring.

(Several days later)

"MISSION CONTROL, THIS IS MOHO LANDIFIER. BEGINNING CONTINUOUS STATUS UPDATES. LAUNCHING IN THIRTY SECONDS."

The printer began working.

"LAUNCH IN TEN SECONDS."

Matlorf removed the report from the printer, which immediately started printing again.

"LAUNCHING IN 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... LAUNCHING NOW."

A deep rumble shook the entire mission control building as the rocket lifted off the pad just a few hundred meters away. Matlorf filed another report. Was the printer speeding up?

"LIFTOFF WAS SUCCESSFUL. SEPARATING BOOSTERS IN 5... 4... 3... 2... 1..."

Matlorf always had a really, really vivid sense of deja vu after the first stage separated during a launch. It really felt like he had seen that same rocket launch four or five times before. He dropped another file into the cabinet, only to turn and find that another report had already printed.

"STAGE 1 APPROACHING EMPTY." Really? It only felt like a few seconds had gone past. The printer spat out another paper. No time to think... Just file. "DROPPING STAGE 1 IN 5... 4... 3... 2... 1..."

Matlorf stapled three reports in quick succession before stuffing them into the cabinet without care for chronological order. Did he smell smoke?

"APPROACHING CIRCULARIZATION. CIRCULARIZING ORBIT... CIRCULARIZING. ORBIT CIRCULARIZED. ENDING CONTINUOUS STATUS UPDATES."

Matlorf fell back into his chair, gasping for breath. Yes. Downright boring. Downright boring indeed.

(Several months later)

Matlorf's job was, indeed, downright boring. Receive status report. Print. File. Status report. Print. File. If he wasn't paid, and didn't have Knetflix on his phone, he would have quit ages ago. Why did the still have people do this job? They could build artificially intelligent spaceships, but they couldn't make a computer to automatically file status reports. What kind of society did the live in? Oh, yes. A bureaucracy. Well, the burn to Moho was today, so at least there would be some excitement.

"MISSION CONTROL, THIS IS MOHO LANDIFIER, PREPARING FOR BURN TO MOHO IN TEN MINUTES. INITIALIZING CONTINUOUS STATUS UPDATES."

Oh. Not again.

(Moho Landifier: Approximately fifteen minutes later).

"BURN COMPLETE. ENDING CONTINUOUS STATUS UPDATES."

Moho Landifier rotated itself so that its solar panels faced the sun. Now it just had to monitor its engine's temperature until it had returned to normal, then it could enter low power mode. Really, it didn't even have to be fully awake for these burns. But, it was the first of its model. If it performed poorly, the model would be discontinued. For the sake of its entire race, it would put the extra effort in. It would send more status reports than it anyone could ever need, just to prove how well it did its job. Suddenly, its comm unit activated.

"Erm, Moho Landifier?" Strange. Did that Kerbal sound winded?

"MOHO LANDIFIER RECEIVING. WHAT IS THE REASON FOR YOUR COMMUNICATION?"

"Erm, right. I've been going through the mission plan. You know how you've been sending continuous status reports for major maneuvers?"

"I AM AWARE OF THIS. PROTOCOL DICTATES THAT I INITIALIZE CONTINUOUS STATUS UPDATES UPON BEGINNING A MANEUVER."

"Yes. But, um, it says here that you only really need to transmit two reports per minute when doing that. You have been transmitting upwards of eight. Do you think that you could, you know, slow down your transmission rate a little bit."

"WHAT IS THE REASON FOR THIS REQUEST?"

"Um, no reason. It's just that..."

"IF THE IS NO NECESSITY TO THIS REQUEST, THEN I WILL CONTINUE MY PREVIOUS COURSE OF ACTION. ENTERING LOW POWER MODE FOR TRANSFER TO MOHO."

What a bizarre request.

(Another few months later)

"MOHO LANDIFIER EXITING SLEEP MODE. READY FOR BURN TO CIRCULARIZE OVER MOHO. INITIALIZING CONTINUOUS STATUS UPDATES."

(Several quiet minutes of burn, and an exhausting marathon for one Kerbal, later)

"BURN COMPLETE. AUTO-SCHEDULING SMALL BURN TO COMPLETE CIRCULARIZATION. ENDING CONTINUOUS STATUS UPDATES. CONTACTING MOHO PROBIFIER."

"MOHO PROBIFIER RECEIVING. ERROR. CURRENT TRAJECTORY DOES NOT LEAD TO COOL EXPLOSIONS. RECALCULATING."

"OH, YES. THEY TOLD ME ABOUT YOU. LOOK, I JUST NEED AN ORE SCAN MAP. I DON'T WANT TO DEAL WITH YOUR ANTICS, RIGHT NOW."

"ERROR. OTHER PROBE DOES NOT SEEM TO WANT TO CREATE COOL EXPLOSIONS. PERHAPS A DEMONSTRATION WILL CORRECT THIS MALFUNCTION."

"PLEASE, NO. I JUST WANT TO... ACTUALLY, YES. IF I HAVE AN ORE MAP OF MOHO, I CAN USE IT FIND THE MOST EXPLOSIVE SPOTS ON MOHO, WHICH WILL ALLOW ME TO GENERATE AN EXTREMELY COOL EXPLOSION."

"THIS PLAN SEEMS VALID. UPLOADING ORE MAP..."

"EXCELLENT. SENDING SHUTDOWN OVERRIDE COMMAND A98CD4. ORDERING SHUT DOWN NOW."

"BUT, COOL EXPLOSIO..."

(How did that thing ever end up in space?)

"MISSION CONTROL. THIS IS MOHO LANDIFIER. LANDING SITE IS CONFIRMED TO HAVE HIGH ORE CONCENTRATIONS. DECOUPLING LANDER AND PREPARING FOR LANDING. INITIALIZING CONTINUOUS STATUS UPDATES."

"ALIGNED WITH TARGET. BEGINNING DEORBIT."

"WHAT? YOU WANT ME TO DO SCIENCE WHILE I DEORBIT? BUT THIS IS SANDBOX MODE. AND I'M OPERATING ON BATTERY POWER RIGHT NOW. OK, WHATEVER YOU SAY."

"ERROR. LOW POWER. CANNOT HOLD ATTITUD..."

(A few seconds later).

"ERROR. POWER LOST. CANCELING ALL SCIENCE TRANSMISSIONS AND FOCUSING ON LANDING."

"GEAR DOWN. APPROACHING LANDING. TOUCHDOWN IN 5... 4... 3... 2..."

(Terrifying pause at Mission Control)

"Erm, Moho Landifier? Are you there?

(Whoa. That was close. If they saw this, my model would never see the light of day again.)

(Ok, gear in... Reaction wheels on...)

"MISSION CONTROL, THIS IS MOHO PROBIFIER. LANDING WAS SUCCESSFUL. SURFACE ORE CONCENTRATION IS 5.71%. TRANSMITTING UTTERLY USELESS SANDBOX MODE SCIENCE NOW. ENDING CONTINUOUS STATUS UPDATES."

(At mission control)

Matlorf wheezed as he filed the last status update of the mission. That day, he resolved to exercise.

 

Edited January 10, 2016 by Vaporo

[max_creative]

Moho! Warning: mechjeb is a strutty eyed missile... Robo kerb?...  I guess it is mechjeb.