Did you knew any rocket science joke

[Pawelk198604]

Nerdy Girl 1: What was you last date with this new boy

Nerdy Girl 2: He was very funny we have intelligent conversation and did homework together, than we get fun together

Nerdy Girl 1, Really did he is good?

Nerdy Girl 2: He is very good, but he had one problem "premature ignition of the second stage" 

Nerdy Girl 1: Och

    

[RainDreamer]

Scientists at NASA have developed a gun built specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity.

The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields.

British engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshield of their new high speed trains.   Arrangements were made.  But when the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurtled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, crashed through the control console, snapped the engineer's backrest in two and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin.

Horrified Britons sent NASA the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield, and begged the U.S. scientists for suggestions.

NASA's response was just three words, "Thaw the chicken."

----

From http://jokes.cc.com/funny-animal/a0am2f/rocket-science

[Nikolai]

Back in the '60s, a jet manufacturer was trying to build a jet capable of hitting Mach 4.  All looked good on its maiden flight, and they asked the test pilot to see if it could get to the required speed.  The airspeed needle climbed slowly through Mach 1, Mach 2, Mach 3, Mach 3.5... but before reaching Mach 4, the wings ripped off; the plane slammed into the ground and was completely destroyed.

The engineers spent months trying to come up with a solution to allow the wings to remain in place.  Each time they tried a new innovation, though, the problem persisted.  The jet could get close to Mach 4, but the wings would shear off before getting to the target velocity.

Finally, they brought in one of the old, retired WWII engineers who was known for coming up with unusual solutions to problems in his day -- an unassuming fellow by the name of Bob.  He asks for the plans, and after reviewing them for a few days, goes out with a drill to the latest prototype and creates a series of vertical holes where the wing met the fuselage of the aircraft.

Everyone agreed that this was lunacy.  The wings are ripping off; why drill holes in them?  But Bob insisted that it would work.  So they got their test pilot and asked him to give it a try.  Not only did the jet hit Mach 4, but it got up to Mach 5.3 before the engine refused to push the aircraft any faster.  The test was declared a success.

So they took Bob out for a beer.  "How did you know?" they asked him.

"I was sitting on the toilet, and it occurred to me," Bob replied.  "Toilet paper never tears on the perforations.  So..."

----------

What's the difference between aerospace engineers and civil engineers?

Aerospace engineers build missiles; civil engineers build targets.

Edited May 2, 2016 by Nikolai

[Pawelk198604]

4 hours ago, Nikolai said:

Back in the '60s, a jet manufacturer was trying to build a jet capable of hitting Mach 4.  All looked good on its maiden flight, and they asked the test pilot to see if it could get to the required speed.  The airspeed needle climbed slowly through Mach 1, Mach 2, Mach 3, Mach 3.5... but before reaching Mach 4, the wings ripped off; the plane slammed into the ground and was completely destroyed.

The engineers spent months trying to come up with a solution to allow the wings to remain in place.  Each time they tried a new innovation, though, the problem persisted.  The jet could get close to Mach 4, but the wings would shear off before getting to the target velocity.

Finally, they brought in one of the old, retired WWII engineers who was known for coming up with unusual solutions to problems in his day -- an unassuming fellow by the name of Bob.  He asks for the plans, and after reviewing them for a few days, goes out with a drill to the latest prototype and creates a series of vertical holes where the wing met the fuselage of the aircraft.

Everyone agreed that this was lunacy.  The wings are ripping off; why drill holes in them?  But Bob insisted that it would work.  So they got their test pilot and asked him to give it a try.  Not only did the jet hit Mach 4, but it got up to Mach 5.3 before the engine refused to push the aircraft any faster.  The test was declared a success.

So they took Bob out for a beer.  "How did you know?" they asked him.

"I was sitting on the toilet, and it occurred to me," Bob replied.  "Toilet paper never tears on the perforations.  So..."

----------

What's the difference between aerospace engineers and civil engineers?

Aerospace engineers build missiles; civil engineers build targets.

You talking about X-15 just asking?

[Nikolai]

54 minutes ago, Pawelk198604 said:

You talking about X-15 just asking?

If I am, I'm not aware of it; I always thought it was just a joke.

Here's another one: After the creation and test of a jumbo jet, eleven aerospace engineers -- ten men and one woman -- crashed on a deserted island and found themselves in need of rescue.  When the helicopter arrived two weeks later and lowered a rope, everyone clambered on -- but it was found that the helicopter lacked enough power to carry everyone, and strained against the weight of eleven extra people.  Someone, the pilot said, would have to let go of the rope and stay behind.

Each of the ten men responded by explaining in great detail how much he had contributed to the field of aerospace engineering and how deserving he was of being rescued right then, and not having to wait for another rescue helicopter to arrive.  The woman, however, made a very moving speech, explaining how she was accustomed to sacrifice; since she was very devoted to her family, she had grown accustomed to putting other people's needs before her own, and if she waited a little longer to be rescued, it would make the decision simpler and be the nobler thing to do.

As she started to wrap up her speech, the ten men clinging to the rope all showed their appreciation by giving her a round of applause...

Edited May 2, 2016 by Nikolai

[Dispatcher]

9 hours ago, Nikolai said:

As she started to wrap up her speech, the ten men clinging to the rope all showed their appreciation by giving her a round of applause...

I thought you were going to say "as she declared that she would stay, each man released his hold as fast as possible, trying to be the one to stay behind with her."

[Bill Phil]

Why haven't we gone back to the moon? 

It's where the women who are attracted to engineers live.

That's pretty bad, but I got it from Dilbert. Not quite about rocket science, though...

[goldenlight]

The engineers spent months trying to come up with a solution to allow the wings to remain in place.  Each time they tried a new innovation, though, the problem persisted.  The jet could get close to Mach 4, but the wings would shear off before getting to the target velocity.

[Nikolai]

Four surgeons were taking a coffee break and came around to discussing their work.  Each had a different idea of the kind of occupation they preferred their patients to have.

The first said, "I think accountants are the easiest to operate on.  You open them up, and everything inside is numbered."

"I think librarians are easier," opined the second.  "You open them up, and everything inside is in alphabetical order."

The third interjected, "I like to operate on electricians.  You open them up, and everything inside is color-coded."

"I prefer rocket engineers," said the fourth.  "They always seem to understand when you have a few parts left over at the end."

[ColKlonk]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=THNPmhBl-8I