(Lightly Modded) The Kerbal Frontier! - Chapter 2 rewritten!

[cy4n]

A (lightly modded) humorous mission report, detailing the (mis)adventures of the Kerbal Aerospace Organisation.

 

This thread will be updated once or twice every week! 

Unless I forget about it. 

Or go on vacation. 

Or disappear off the face of the Earth.

Otherwise, look forward to regular new chapters! 

 

MODLIST

 

The KAO Flag:

 

Full flag album here.

Table of Contents:

• Chapter 1
• Chapter 2
• Chapter 3
• Chapter 4
• Chapter 5
• Chapter 6
• Chapter 7

 

CHAPTER 1

"Finally!" said Gene Kerman, the new launch director at the Kerbal Aerospace Organisation. "We got enough Funds to build a rocket!

"And it wasn't easy." said Mortimer, the... umm... 'financing guy'?

"Now, we proudly present: The Endeavo- WHAT DID YOU BUILD!?"

"An efficient rocket?" said Linus Kerman, the intern of famed scientist Wernher Von Kerman, who was away at a conference. Linus' reputation was not off to a good start.

"Can we launch yet?" said Jeb, interrupting their argument about rocket æsthetics. Jeb was one of the best pilots at the KAO. He was also one of the only pilots at the KAO.

"Yes, Jeb," said Gene. "Just let me do a countdown."

"10!" said Gene. "9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4!"

"Can we launch now?" asked Jeb.

"AUGHH!" said Gene.

The twin SRBs blasted the Endeavour into the sky, just skimming the clouds before beginning to plummet.

"Jeb!" said Gene. 

"What?" said Jeb.

"Stop spinning the capsule!"

"But it's for science!"

A launch team quickly recovered the capsule, which had landed next to the Runway.

"23 Science!" said Linus. "This is enough to build another rocket!

"Wait... we MADE money?" said Mortimer. "The grants from the K.W-F.R-K.S. (my, such a long acronym!) were worth 57k! If we keep going like this we'd never need to do any contracts!"

As Mortimer was dancing around the Administration Building, Jeb realised something. 

"Don't we have to launch more than one rocket?"

"Hey!" said Wernher Von Kerman, freshly back from his lecture on "blowing things up". He was the professor. "What's all the commotio- 23 SCIENCE! YESS!"

END OF CHAPTER 1

Edited June 22, 2016 by Osmium
Improved post

[superstrijder15]

Wow! That was the best 1st chapter ever. I'm definetly gonna follow this

[cy4n]

NOTE: This chapter is using DMagic Orbital Science parts, a mod which I have decided to remove. Please erase the magnetometer booms from your memory to prevent continuity errors. Thank you.

CHAPTER 2

DAY 11

The Tester 1 stood on the launchpad. Designed by Mortimer Kerman, the head of financing, it was the most advanced, most powerful rocket ever built. It also carried more snacks.

This time, the brave Valentina Kerman, the other pilot at the KAO, had been chosen to fly the mission.

 

"With advanced 'Recovery' technology," said Mortimer, "The stages shall be brought back to Kerbin, where they shall be used again!"

 

"10!" said Gene. "9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! LAUNCH!"

As the Tester 1 blasted off, the advanced onboard sensors started to pick up data.

 

"OK," said Val. "We have a reading of two coming from the barometer."

 

"Two whats?" asked Wernher. "Two mits of data? Two science? Two pascals?"

 

"It just says two. Maybe it's broken or something."

 

As the staff of the KAO were puzzling over the barometer readings, stage one cut out.

 

"Jettison the first stage," came Gene's voice over the radio. "We will activate the parachutes remotely.

 

"First stage jettisoned!" said Val. "Speed below 200 m/s. Activating stage two."

"FOOM!" went the second stage as the Swivel engine fired, blasting the Tester 1 high into the sky.

 

"We set a new altitude record!" went Gene. 

 

"Take another pressure reading!" said Wernher.

 

Quickly, the second stage ran out of fuel also, peaking at 11,000 metres.

"OK," said Gene. "You're below 5km. Jettison stage two."

With a CLANK,the decoupler jettisoned the second stage away from the command pod to be recovered.

The parachute deployed, and Val landed on the shores not far from the KSC.

The first launch of the Tester program was a success!

The aforementioned K.W-F.R-K.S. granted 38k more to the KAO.

 

"My cheaty parachute-girder design worked!" said Mortimer.

 

"31 Science!" said Wernher. "With this, we'll be able to get to the upper atmosphere!"

 

"But first," said Linus dramatically. "I think I have a way to get more Science."

END OF CHAPTER 2

Edited June 22, 2016 by Osmium

[superstrijder15]

Are you using stagerecovery?

[cy4n]

2 hours ago, superstrijder15 said:

Are you using stagerecovery?

Good idea, I'll check that out. Mortimer should be very happy.

[cy4n]

EDIT: Returned to usual schedule. (Whenever I feel like it)

Edited June 14, 2016 by Osmium

[cy4n]

Notice: This chapter and following ones will be using a ton of graphics mods.. Consult this mod list to murder your computer acquire the same effect.

 

CHAPTER 3

DAY 21

"So," said Gene. "What exactly is this?"

The KAO staff were poring over a blueprint designed by Linus, an aspiring intern.

 

"A rocket!" said Jeb obliviously.

 

"WE KNOW THAT!" shouted everyone else in the building.

 

"It's what it's supposed to do that puzzles me." said Gene.

 

"It's Project Biome!" said Linus. "A way to squeeze Kerbin of all its Science before heading to other planets!"

"And," said Linus, pausing dramatically. "It's totally recoverable!"

 

Soon, (with Mortimer's influence) the first iteration was assembled.

 

"So," asked Jeb. "What's this mission called?"

 

"Project Unome!" said Linus.

 

"UNOME?" groaned everyone else at the KAO.

 

"I like the name!" said Jeb. "It's so stupid, it's actually cool!"

 

"That's the spirit!" exclaimed Linus.

 

Jeb ascended the ladder and climbed into the command module. 

"Ready to launch!"

"10!" said Gene. "9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! LAUNCH!"

FOOSH! The primary SRB blasted the Project: Grasslands high up into the air.

As it decoupled, drag chutes deployed, and the entire 1st stage floated gently to the ground.

"Activate biome-locationary manoeuvre!" said Linus.

 

"Roger," said Jeb. "Turning left."

 

"No!" said Linus. "I said-"

 

"That is what you said," said Jeb.

 

"OK," said Gene. "You're over the landing zone. Deploy parachute!"

"I'll get some good practice for Duna!" said Jeb.

 

"Jeb!" said Gene. "Kerballed Duna missions are only theoretical!

With a "WHUMPH!" the Project: Grasslands landed in... Wait for it... The Grasslands! (Well where did you think it was?)

"Get out of the capsule and try to look cinematic." said Gene.

"Right away boss!" said Jeb enthusiastically.

 

After Jeb was done posing, a recovery team quickly sent out a truck to recover Jeb.

"There's one thing that's been bothering me," said Jeb. "Why didn't we just use the recovery truck instead of a rocket?"

 

"Because..." stammered Linus. "Because..."

 

"Because SCIENCE!" shouted Wernher.

 

"Yes," said Linus. "Thanks for that."

 

"31 points of it to be exact!" said Wernher.

 

"Whoa!" said Linus in awe. "What are we going to do with all THAT?"

 

"Well," said Mortimer. "There were some nice new radial parachutes... And heatshields of course..."

 

"NO WAY!" exclaimed Wernher. "That's half of it already!"

 

As Mortimer and Wernher argued over technologies, the sun set over Kerbin. The upper atmosphere would have to wait for tomorrow...

END OF CHAPTER 3

Edited June 14, 2016 by Osmium

[cy4n]

Just had to post this amazing image from Chapter 4:

[cy4n]

CHAPTER 4

DAY 51

"Waah!" wailed Bill Kerman, the engineer at the KAO. "Both Val and Jeb got to fly a rocket twice! Why can't I go?"

 

"Oh, be quiet." said Bob. "The Endeavour 3 is about to launch."

 

"The Endeavour 3?" asked Val from the radio. "What was the second?" 

 

"Oh, they decided to merge the Tester program with the Endeavour program." said Bob. "It's no big deal."

 

"Aaand... Liftoff!" said Gene.

As the first stage ignited, the Endeavour 3 blasted off from the pad, leaving a trail of smoke and flame behind it.

 

"We've reached 10 kilometers !" said Val from the radio. "The first stage is spent!"

 

The boosters dropped away dramatically to the side as their parachutes blossomed open, quickly returning the spent stages to the ground intact.

 

"YES!" shouted Mortimer. "It worked! Those boosters were completely re-usable!"

 

As Mortimer danced around the KSC for the second time in as many days, the speed of the Endeavour 3 dropped to below 200m/s. 

Val quickly punched the 'Next Stage' button...

Quickly, the LFO second stage ignited, sending the Endeavour 3 well into the upper atmosphere.

"Wow!" said Val. "I can see Kerbin curving away beneath me! It's beautiful!"

 

"Oooh!" said Wernher. "A scientific opportunity! QUICK RESEARCH EVERYTHING!"

 

"Fuel depleted!" said Val. "Decoupling command pod! Apoapsis 47 kilometers!"

"Warning," came a robotic voice from the command pod. "Oxygen scrubbers inoperable. Atmosphere 50% co2."

 

"What do we do?" said Gene.

 

"Bring more oxygen?" suggested Jeb. 

 

"NOT HELPFUL!" shouted everyone at the KAO.

 

"I'm feeling a bit drowsy," said Valentina. "I'll just..... Zzzz."

 

"OH NO!" cried Gene. "She's blacked out! Quick! Engage autopilot!"

 

"What autopilot?" asked Wernher.

 

The Endeavour 3, having reached its apoapsis, plunged downwards towards Kerbin, heating up as it went.

"Phew!" sighed Gene as the Endeavour 3 reverted to a stable position. "I was worried the parachutes would burn off! Wait..."

 

"ACTIVATE THE PARACHUTES!!!!" screamed Gene. "COME IN VAL! COME IN VAL!!!"

 

"Oxygen intakes opened," said the flight computer. "Atmosphere re-stabilising."

 

"Wha?" said Val drowsily. "What happened?"

 

"You've got to activate the parachutes!" said Gene. "The ship will crash if you don't!"
 

"Parachutes," mumbled Val. "Got to... parachutes."

 

Val fumbled her way to the right button, pressed it, and promptly blacked out again.

"HOORAY!" Cheers erupted all around the KAO as a small parachute on top of the Endeavour 3 opened, carrying it to the ground.

 

"Quick!" said Gene. "Send out a recovery truck!"

 

"Already on it!" replied Jeb.

As the parachute opened, Jeb and the recovery truck arrived, speeding Val back to the KAO.

 

"So," asked Jeb. "What was it like? Going higher than any kerbal before you, I mean."

 

"It was amazing!" said Val. "Except for the part where I ran out of oxygen. You could see the whole world from up there!

 

"And we got 44 more science!" said Wernher. "Enough to send you to space, Jeb."

 

"Plus another research grant!" said Mortimer. "As if we needed them."

END OF CHAPTER 4

Edited June 14, 2016 by Osmium

[FillionFlan]

This is the best writing I've ever read!

 

Edited May 29, 2016 by FillionFlan

[cy4n]

CHAPTER 5

DAY 81

As the Sun set beautifully over Kerbin, a faint wailing could be heard from somewhere around the middle. It grew louder and louder, until...

 

"Oh, quit your whining, Mortimer," said Gene. "The new launch pad was an essential step to getting to space."

 

"But my Funds!" sobbed Mortimer. "My poor, poor Funds!"

 

"OK," said Jeb. "Are we go for launch?" 

"Yup!" replied Gene. "Just let me do a countd-"

 

"FOOSH!" went the Endeavour 4 as it blasted off, the engine casting a yellow glow around the scene as the camerakerb posed at the perfect angle to show off the brand new sunflare.

"Oh, by the way," asked Jeb. "Did we bring enough oxygen this time?"

 

"Yeah!" replied Gene, "Because this time, the dumb narrator actually remembered to install Community Resource Pack like he was supposed to."

 

"What's a narrator?" asked Jeb.

 

"Oh, nothing. Technical term. Now, quick! Activate stage 2!"

 

The Stage 2 engine ignited, burning its fuel at a highly efficient rate and blasting a trail of fire behind the Endeavour 4.

 

"This stage should keep going all the way into space!" said Gene. "It's not recoverable though."

 

"WHAT THE-" screamed Mortimer in rage.

 

"Okay!" interrupted Gene. "You've entered the upper atmosphere! It's safe to throttle up now!"

"Already on it!" said Jeb. "Val was right! You can see half of Kerbin from this high up!"

 

The engine cut off abruptly as it ran out of fuel, leaving the atmosphere behind.

 

"WOO!" shouted the KAO staff. "WE DID IT!"

 

"Yup," said Jeb. "Now we can actually call ourselves a space program! Ooh, it's a bit dark in space."

 

"Oh, whatever," said Gene. "We can Photoshop it later."

"Quickly!" said Wernher. "DO ALL THE SCIENCE!"

 

"Thanks! We almost forgot to," said Gene. "By the way, where have you been for the last few chapters?"

 

"Doing SCIENCE!!!" replied Wernher.

 

"Oh," said Gene. "I should have guessed."

 

As it reached its apoapsis of 110 kilometres, the Endeavour 4 plummeted back into the atmosphere.

 

"Quickly!" crackled Gene's voice over the radio. "Detach the second stage!"

 

As Stage 2 spiralled away, the Endeavour 4 was beginning to heat up.

KABOOM!

 

"AUGGGH!!" shouted Jeb. "WHAT WAS THAT?"

 

"Don't worry," said Gene. "It was just stage 2."

 

"NOOOOOO!" moaned Mortimer in despair.

 

As the Endeavour 4 entered the lower atmosphere, a long parachute opened up behind it.

 

After the Endeavour 4 drifted softly to the ground, it was quickly picked up by a recovery vehicle.

 

"Wow!" said Linus. "These results are amazing! They show that if you went fast enough sideways, you'd be able to stay in space infinitely!"

 

"And 65 science too!" said Wernher, an expression of pure bliss spread across his features.

 

"What should we spend it on?" asked Jeb.

 

"How about bigger rockets?" suggested Linus.

 

"No, more science experiments!" said Wernher.

 

"Well, one thing's for certain," said Jeb. "We're going to orbit tonight."

END OF CHAPTER 5

Edited June 14, 2016 by Osmium

[superstrijder15]

4th wall breaks everywhere!

Can't like, already spent all in First Flight

[cy4n]

CHAPTER 6

DAY 91

 

"So, by 'certain' did you mean COMPLETELY UNCERTAIN?" asked Val.

 

"Hey!" said Jeb indignantly. "I thought it was reasonable that we'd get to orbit!"

 

"Yeah, and we could all fly to the Mun on magical rocket unikorns."

 

"There's still a lot of research 'till we get to orbit, so I figured we should milk Project: Biome for all the science it's got." said Linus. "Oh yes, that reminds me. The last Biome launch is today."

 

"Who's flying it?" asked Jeb.

 

"Oh, some noob named Lorick Kerman," said Val. "He always wanted to be an astronaut when he grew up."

 

"I can't believe this is happening!" effused Lorick from the Project: Oceans. "It's a dream come true!"

 

"Well, not yet." said Gene. "You still have to fly it properly."

 

"Don't worry!" replied Lorick. "I went to Space Kamp!"

 

"Oh phew," sighed Gene sarcastically. "And here I was worried about your experience."

 

"WHOOSH!" The Project: Oceans blasted off from the launch pad, carrying Lorick with it.

 

As the Project: Oceans sped into the sky, the first stage burned out.

 

"Woo!" said Lorick. "I get to separate stages now!"

 

"Commence activation of biome-centric locationary manoeuvre." said Linus.

 

"He means turn right," said Jeb.

As the Project: Oceans arced through the upper atmosphere, the narrator decided to stop showing off the lens flare, and instead opt for a more cinematic look.

 

"You know, I like Lorick," said Jeb, far down below. "He'll make a good addition to our team."

 

"Yeah, I-" went Val as she was cut off by the radio.

 

"This is Lorick." crackled the Project: Oceans. "We've reached the upper atmosphere. Jettisoning stage two."

"Excellent!" said Gene. "Just activate the parachute when you're over the right spot."

 

"Ahh!" shouted Lorick. "It's getting a bit bumpy!

 

"Yeah, re-entry will do that to you," said Gene.

 

"I'm below 4000k!" said Lorick. "Deploying parachute!"

 

The Project: Oceans landed with a splash, quickly sciencing the Ocean biome. 

 

"Great job!" said Linus after the mission was over. "This is enough science for the next mission!"

 

"Umm, I thought you said we weren't doing any more Project: Biome missions," said Jeb.

 

"Yup!" said Linus. "Some Project: Triome missions though!"

 

"GAHHH!" shouted the KAO staff.

 

"Here, look, I have a chart," said Linus.

 

END OF CHAPTER 6

Edited June 14, 2016 by Osmium

[Kerbinchaser]

This is looking great! Good luck!

[cy4n]

CHAPTER 7

DAY 101

"It's an honour to be part of Kerbin's First Polar Expedition," said Lorick. "And plus, I get to go to space!"

And with those words, the Project: Icecaps launched into the sky.

"Just try not to eat too much once you're there," said Gene. "There won't be enough food if you don't ration it properly."

 

"Wait, what?" asked Lorick.

 

"It's going to take a while for the recovery truck to arrive."

 

"Hey! I didn't sign up for this!" exclaimed Lorick.

 

"Not now! You need to detach the first stage!" said Gene.

As the engine activated, the boosters spiralled away beneath the rapidly moving Project: Icecaps. 

 

"We've reached space!" said Lorick.

 

"Excellent!" said Gene. "Now burn at an angle of 67˚."

"You know," said Lorick. "This rocket already has enough Δv to reach orbit. Why are we flying all over the planet instead of achieving one of our most important goals?"

 

"Be quiet!" said Gene. "And stop ruining the roleplay. It's only exciting if we have an epic quest to orbit. Oh yes, and you probably should be re-entering now."

 

"Krap," said Lorick.

The Project: Icecaps streaked through Kerbin's atmosphere like a comet, layers of ablator scorching away behind it.

 

"Woah!" said Gene. "Just look at that sun!"

 

"Yeah, it looks really- AUGGGGGGGGHHHHHH! MY EYES!" cried Lorick.

 

When the Project: Icecaps had reached 1000 metres, the heatshield was ejected and the parachute deployed.

 

The sun was just setting in the Arctic, lending a beautiful red glow to the spacecraft.

"For Science!" shouted Lorick as he planted a flag.

"Just try not to lick it!" said Gene. "It's very painful."

END OF CHAPTER 7

[cy4n]

Chapter 2 has been re-written to compensate for lack of effort! 

Chapter 8 is coming soon, I'm just testing out some designs for the Endeavour 5 & 6. Should be available Saturday.

Edited July 17, 2016 by Osmium

[cy4n]

This story is dead. Check out my new one in my signature!

Oh yes, and please lock this thread.

Edited November 28, 2016 by Osmium