The Ultimate Change

[Whirligig Girl]

A long, long time ago, in a KSP version far, far away...

The Kerbal God Alternis, the god of Change and Difference, was becoming increasingly upset at Kerbalkind for their various sins against nature (such as using way to many rocket boosters!) and decided that the only way to teach them a lesson in reasonability was to smite the Kraken out of them. This had the opposite effect from what he intended: it just made Kerbalkind even more fascinated in their universe, and they explored it even more (using even more rocket boosters). At a certain point, he just gave up.

Not too long after that, the luxury planet making enterprise known as Kragrathea Planet Creators entered the Kerbal's solar system, and their company began making their own new planets for the Kerbals to explore. This lasted a few months until the galactic economy failed, and no one could afford to buy a Kragrathean planet.

After a few dark ages, a new god sprouted up. His name was Kopernicis. He created a framework for other gods to follow in Alternis' footsteps and modify the Kerbal's solar system to their heart's content. Eventually Alternis showed back up to smite the Kerbal system one more time, and The Flying Spaghetti Monster showed up to create the Earth Solar System, and promptly boiled for humankind's sins. Sigmis, The Kerbal God of KnockoffsThe Totally Real God of the Totally Real Solar System, showed up and split the various projects into different solar systems so that they could co-exist. Many other gods showed up to smite the Kerbal system in their own ways. Antashlis, the Kerbal God of Being Really Good At Making Planets, had two sons: Horizus, the Kerbal God of Having Way Too Many Planets, and Unchartis, the Kerbal God of Not Asking For Directions. 

But it wasn't enough.

Gregris, The Kerbal God of Extremely Excited Transportation--the one who had gotten Alternis out of retirement and had himself modified the Kerbal solar system to look actually good and realistic--had a plan. The ultimate Solar System, comprised of all sorts of planet packs. It would be...

The Mega Solar System

Gregris, Kopernicis, Alternis, Horizus, Sigmis, and Unchartis all sat in a room for seventy billion centuries and Gregris orchestrated the connection of all of these systems into one.

---

 

 

12:42 AM UTC, Sunday, 14th of November, 1971 - Y20, D319 - Planet Earth

 

"We should be getting pictures of Mars now." said someone in a room full of other humans, all staring at a television screen. The raw data was being processed, and finally an image showed up on the television screen.

"Huh. Looks like the color is all wrong." said the guy who was in charge of getting the pictures ready.

"Wait what's that?" said one of the other people.

"What?" said the guy who was in charge of getting the pictures ready. The other person pointed at a pale orange sphere on the screen to the side of the picture.

"That." he said. The guy in charge of getting the pictures ready stared at it.

"Oh, that must be Mars. I'll send the command to zoom in on it." he said.

 

About 45 minutes later, the new picture came in. It looked nothing like any map of Mars that had yet been made. It was a very pale butterscotch color, and had large circular darker maria across its surface. Three large volcanoes were visible,  and in the frame of the image was the slightest part of a large, dark brown, cratered sphere. "Is that... Phobos?" asked one of the people in the room. "I would have thought it would be... lumpier."

"No, it can't be. Phobos is supposed to be on the other side of Mars, so's Deimos." said one of the people, sitting at a computer. "Hold on, something very strange is happening." he said.

"What is it?" asked someone.

"I'm making sure it's not instrument error, and it very well might be but--" said the person sitting at the computer.

"Just... what is it?" asked the guy who was in charge of the whole thing.

"Well it looks like Maryneer IX is travelling much faster than it should be going." said the person sitting at the computer.

"How much faster?" asked the guy who was in charge of the whole thing.

"It looks like it's something around the order of 6 kilometers per second." said the person sitting at the computer.

"Hey, Clive, get me a picture of the big dark sphere." said the guy in charge of the whole thing to the guy who was in charge of getting the pictures ready.

"Alright" said Clive, the guy in charge of getting the pictures ready.

 

Another 45 minutes passed, and Maryneer IX's camera was pointed at the huge sphere. In the intervening time, the guy sitting at the computer was able to find a correlation, because that guy's just a real smart cookie isn't he?. The probe was not going towards Mars, it was going towards the dark sphere. The new picture confirmed his suspicion. "Something really strange is going on here. It's like the probe is in a hyperbolic orbit around the dark sphere, not Mars. In fact, I don't think that even is Mars." he said.

"Well if it aint Mars, what is it?" asked the guy who was in charge of everything.

The guy who was sitting at the computer shrugged. "I dunno, call it Egar or something." he said with a smile.

"Well what's the big dark planet then?" Asked some janitor who had walked in a few minutes prior out of curiosity.

"What's your name, janitor?" asked the guy who was sitting at the computer.

"Oh, me? My name is Stanley Trumbos." said the janitor.

"It's called Stumbos. The planet is called Stumbos." said the guy who was sitting at the computer.

"Oh cool." said the janitor.

 

A few days later, the headlines all over the planet Earth read some variation of the following:

Planet Earth Teleported to New Solar System

"This doesn't actually make any kind of logical sense." says astronomer Carl Sagan.

 

 

 

---

 

3:00, Munday, 14th of Blaugust, Y1.1.2 - Y12, D133 - Planet Kerbin

 

Jebediah Kerman was sitting in his seat, ready for the launch of the Evegoer XIV. It would be the 14th launch attempt of the Evegoer spacecraft, as the previous attempts always ended in failure because Wernher von Kerman kept forgetting to install fuel lines on the propellant drop tanks. But this time, this time it was ready. Just as the countdown reached T-6, and Jeb lifted off from the Kerbal Space Center early as he always does, the tracking station and map view computers crashed. The master alarm sounded in Jebediah Kerman's command pod, and he chose to accidentally not hear the alarm. He boosted to orbit under manual control. Just as the rocket entered orbit, he pointed the window back at the Kerbal Space Center.

 

"Wait a minute, what the Engine Bell is that?" Jeb said with wide eyes, smashing the telescope button to get a closer look.

"What do you mean, Flight?" asked Charlie Kerman, the Capsule Communicator.

"It's... it's..." stammered Jeb.

"Spit it out man!" said Charlie.

"It's a huge freaking gas giant, man!" Jeb said. Jeb heard chuckling from his headset.

"Very funny, Jeb. Just wait for us to get the Tracking Stations back so we can plan your Trans-Eve injection." said Charlie.

"No, CAPCOM, I'm not joking. Look out a window for Kraken's sake! It's incredible." said Jeb.

 

Just as Jeb said this, the tracking station operator, Maggie Kerman, burst into the mission control room. "Gene." she said. "Can I talk to you?"

"Well I guess it's gotta be important huh?" said Gene.

"Look out the window." said Maggie.

 

There are no actual windows in the Mission Control facility, so Gene stepped outside to take a look. Just above Mount K2, a huge blue sphere, banded with swirls and ripples, hung in the sky. He dropped his mug. "What the Dang Kraken is that?"

---

 

3:00, Numday, 27th of Hateyouary, Y1.1.2 - Y24, D456 - Planet Kerbulus

 

Emperor Gene Kermulan sat in his throne at Kerbulan Space Center's Mission Control facility, sipping at some coffee. He was feeling quite proud of himself. His plan to launch an invasion of The Purple Planet was thoroughly in progress, with a fleet of fourteen rockets getting ready to leave to conquer the ugly Purple People who surely live on the resource-rich world. "This is Commander Jebediah Kermulan to Kerbulan Space Complex. The Fleet is ready for departure, whenever you are ready, Emperor."

"Go ahead, Commander." said the Emperor.

"I am sorry Your Imperial Majesty." said Jebediah.

"What. Is. It." said the Emperor, clenching his teeth and tightening his grip on his coffee mug.

"Your majesty, it is not my fault. The Fleet's flight computers are down! We can not commence launch without the map view!" said Jebediah.

Gene downed the rest of his coffee, and stormed off to the tracking station. He found Maggie Kermulan typing away at a computer in the dark, red-lit room. "Centurion Maggie Kermulan,--" Gene started.

"Give me just a minute, Your Majesty." said Maggie Kermulan, in a mocking tone. She scowled at the Emperor.

"If you don't watch your tone ma'am, you're going to have a--"

"Yes I know, a fatal coffee-mug-shaped injury. Do you want your tracking station debugged or not?"

 

The text "NullReferenceException" appeared on the computer screen. "Computer, delete Scaledspace Cache." said Maggie. "AFFIRMATIVE." said the computer, accompanied by the clackety sounds of shifting tapes. "Reload TrackingStation.exe." said Maggie. "AFFIRMATIVE." confirmed the computer.

"There's the problem, Emperor. FlightGlobalsIndex is all wrong. The computers think The Fleet is orbiting... The Boring Grey Dwarf Planet." said Maggie.

"Well fix it!" said Emperor Gene.

"I have. It's just generating a new Scaledspace cache based on new information." said Maggie.

"What in the Dang HarvesteR's name is THAT?" said the Emperor.

"I don't know. Look out a window."

 

In the sky to the eastern horizon, just above Hill 2K, was a large Deep-Blue colored gas giant with thick and visible rings. Num also hung in the sky just outside of the rings, glaring angrily at Kerbulus.

---

 

0:00, Resday, 8th of Talheuary, Y1.1.2 - Y19, D23 - Planet Krenib

 

"Ay, Jeb. Oire yeh reaidy fer loinch, m8?" said Charlie Krenam, CAPCOM for the Mapless Space Center.

"Yeh mate, Tal'ey won' kno what hi' it." said Jebedia' Krenam.

"Roight, let's stop wit' this over-the-top accent, mate." said Charlie.

"Roight." said Jebedia'.

"Hol' on, mate." said Charlie.

"What?" asked Jebediah'.

"FIDO says the Floight Computah's not respondin'." said Charlie.

"Ah screw that." said Jeb.

By the time Charlie tried to lock Jeb out of the controls, Jeb was already blasting him and his crew into orbit on a Ferry Rocket. Manually. With no map view. That BadS. It wasn't until Jeb looked out the window and saw that the sun was a much brighter yellow color that he realized that there may have been a very important reason that the flight computers were broken. "Jeb, we fixed the computers. Apparen'ly there's some new planets we never saw before that broke the computah. You're go for trans-Talhey injection, mate."

Edited July 21, 2016 by GregroxMun

[ZooNamedGames]

Grand, now your creating a new religion!

[Whirligig Girl]

The administrators at the Kerbal Space Center took their seats, and began discussing the future of the space program. All of the planets they previously knew about were moved, and there was a whole lot of extra stuff.

"Look, there's only six planets of interest in this new system. Laythe, Pansper, Krenib, and Earth." said Linus Kerman.

"Bah, that's just you and your Liquid Water For The Win campaign. There's more to the solar system than just the possibility of life." said Wernher Kerman.

"I'm gonna have to agree with Linus on this, Wernher. The public loves life. We're already working on getting the contract to manufacture Kerbal Space Program approved astronaut plushies, imagine what we could do with Little Grey Men on other planets, eh?" said Walt Kerman. Mortimer looked up and nodded enthusiastically. "Right now the public is panicking about the sudden change of solar system. A new scientific discovery should get them in a good mood again."

"Pansper is the nearest life-bearing planet--" started Linus.

"You mean Moon." corrected Gus.

"Whatever. Pansper is the nearest life-bearing moon to us, right next door in a low orbit around the new gas giant." said Linus.

"Yes, but we have received some strange radio signals coming from Earth and Krenib." said Wernher. "If we want to search for animal life or even civilization, that's where we need to go."

"I agree." said Gene.

"Well if we're going to spend extra money on a probe that has to leave the local Meanderian system, we might as well send a probe to the planet with the most moons." said Linus.

"Krenib then. We've discovered two large moons and rings around it." said Maggie Kerman, who was playing with a hand-held calculator up until now.

"Great. Krenib it is then. We can repurpose the Gerbiner 1 Eve Orbiter Probe for the mission. We even have a booster ready for it." said Gus Kerman.

And so the Kerbal Space Program had their magnificent new Space Probe ready on the launchpad.

The mission ended with a probe crashing on the deserts of North Bealeland. Some North Bealelanders found some of the debris and turned it in to the government, where they contact the United States of Alaitsua's Space Program. The message they sent with it read, in a thick accent, "Found this in the desert, mate. Looks like one of your space ships."

Edited June 18, 2016 by GregroxMun