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cratercracker

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Greatest memory of my childhood is car crash.

It was late night, me and my family and some friends of my dad were returing from the hunt.

It was Kamchatka, Elizovskiy region. In a deep, dark and scary forest.

It was winter, which is very cold here, about -40 or so.

Driver lost control on an icy road.

Big Land Cruiser crashed into a tree, i lost conciousness.

And then i woke up, feeling pain and fear at the same time.

Bottle of bear stroke my head, my face dived into the side mirror.

I was bleeding from my nose and then i just opened the door, not knowing why.

I just wanted to get out, out of this mess, out of the heat.

I fell on a thick snow, it felt awfully painful, dispite being soft.

I pointed my face into the starless sky.

Loking into this void, lifeless, hateful, unfriendly, unliving.

Yet i loved this, i loved the idea of something dead.

Something without life, sound, people, trees, air.

I felt how blood went down my shoulder.

I hated that, i hated as much as i can.

I felt how blood slowly froze on every part of my clothing.

Tears went donw my childish face, i looked terrific and terrified.

It took me a few moments to realise that i am still here.

That i am not yet lost, not yet nowhere, not yet dead like the skies above.

Loud russian pop was coming from the car, making me feel weird.

It felt weird, it just did, it wasn't this normal "weird".

It felt like it is over, it felt heavy, but easy at the same time.

It took something, it felt like some part of me is just gone.

.

 

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