Kerbal Aerospace Company

[MrAmazingfuntime]

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The Kerbal Space Program has, in recent months, made significant progress in exploring both outer space and certain elements of Kerbin itself hitherto unknown to Kerbalkind. One of the most important discoveries was the sighting of a whole new continent on the dark side of the planet.

Whilst some argue that there is no dark side of the planet, and that everyone has known about the other continent for hundreds of years, it nevertheless sparked a new industry in aerospace manufacturing. This new industry is based around mass transport, something recently aided in local areas by the invention of the wheel, except with one major exception – aeroplanes.

Kerbals have, through time, built plenty of flying machines. Many did not work exactly as intended, but the new Kerbal Aerospace Company has bought a lot of designs from different people and has come up with a series of aircraft designed to carry Kerbals around.

With success in this area, the Kerbal Aerospace Company is also branching into high performance aircraft, designed to give those certain thrill seeking Kerbals a chance to fly around in style. Some have argued that our 'high performance jets are, in fact, highly dangerous death-traps' and that 'you don't fly so much as lurch uncontrollably through the air'. Well, to these certain nay-sayers, we invite them to please go and stick their heads in a bin.

One of our latest lines of aeroplane, the Longprobe, was used in a research experiment by the Kerbal Space Program to try and get to the North Pole. The Longprobe failed, and they sent a rocket instead. However, the Longprobe did carry three Kerbonoughts at once, and was remarked by the Mission Commander Jebediah Kerman to be 'quite comfortable'!

The North Pole mission gave the Kerbal Aerospace Company a great deal of cash to play around with, enabling us to modify the Longprobe and create a commercial version, complete with a 70% cargo capacity increase. Some have noted that the Longprobe Commercial is 'dangerously underpowered' and 'liable to snap in half on landing'. Well, to these niggling complaints, we note that the removal of one of the engines has pushed down the cost an awful lot. Also, you use half as much fuel as using two engines, which is cheaper. The latter comment is nullified by the fact that we tested the Commercial quite a lot, and it never snapped in half for us. Ever.

As for the performance jets we mentioned earlier, one is already out there and on the proverbial shelves – the Deltacraft MkII! This super-high agility jet has been shown to be able to literally tear itself apart with insane manoeuvres. The turn speed is astronomical, but since we haven't worked out a way to measure it you'll just have to take our word for it. The single-seat MkI Cockpit is great for being able to see out of the aircraft (looking behind not inclusive), and the Basic Jet Engine is perfectly simple for those Kerbals who don't like fiddling around with complicated things like variable-pitch rotors and electric bits and stuff. On a completely different note, if you see a MkI Deltacraft, report it to us immediately and don't try to fly it (the MkI hasn't got any windows to see out of). Kerlington Model Rockets and Paper Products Inc. has seen fit to provide us with a shipment of R-8 manoeuvring surfaces, so that now you can turn the MkII in any direction you see fit!

Also available is the Kerboplane MkI, arguably the simplest and easiest to fly aeroplane ever. And it's quite cheap.

Kerbal Aerospace Company would like to thank the following organisations for support, engineers and parts:

- Kerlington Model Rockets and Paper Products Inc.

- Jebediah Kerman's Junkyard

- C7 Aerospace Division

- The Rockomax Conglomerate

- And the roads, by which we found some parts.

M.Kerman, CEO Kerbal Aerospace Company

Happy flying, Kerbals!

Also, sorry if I copied anyone by accident or something!