The Dysfunction Diaries

[bIOHAzARD]

Please check last page for latest post.

Essentially a collection of mission reports in a campaign-style blog - the purpose of which is to become more active in the KSP community.

Input and suggestions are encouraged.

The missions gradually increase in scale to simulate a realistic Space Program way of planning and execution.

All craft files, mods and an up-to-date persistence file is provided after each mission (located in the first post).

You can find The Dysfunction Diaries here : http://www.ksptdd.blogspot.com

A short summary will be posted here after each post.

Hope you find it entertaining

Edited February 15, 2014 by bIOHAzARD

[bIOHAzARD]

Kerbals weren't exactly sure what space was.. or if someone could actually go there. Finally, the KSP was developed to answer that question. The mission, code name: "baby bird", was to be a difficult one. It would require courage, drive and possibly most importantly: expert bowel control (considering space toilet research had been suspended due to a lack of funding). Unfortunately a kerbal with all (or any) of the above traits could not be found. So they just sent Jebediah instead - and Kerbal-history was made..

Mission Briefing:

Crew: Jebediah Kerman

Goal(s): Leave the atmosphere, return safely near KSC

http://ksptdd.blogspot.com/2012/12/mission-1-leaving-nest.html

Edited June 5, 2013 by bIOHAzARD

[bIOHAzARD]

The "Namers" at KSC mission control were off sick during the planning phase of the mission. All sixteen of them.. what are the odds? Anyway. Since the discovery that Space wasn't completely uninhabitable - KSC has demanded more missions be performed in order to make friends with it, as "it seemed a tad lonely up there" said Jebediah Kerman upon arriving back at KSC after his first mission.

Mission Briefing:

Crew: Bill Kerman, Jebediah Kerman, Bob Kerman

Goal(s): Orbit Kerbin at least twice, land/splashdown near KSC (for cheap hasty retrieval)

Restrictions: Leave no debris in orbit, All crew must EVA simultaneously at some point during flight

http://ksptdd.blogspot.com/2012/12/mission-2-perpetually-falling-around.html

Edited June 5, 2013 by bIOHAzARD

[bIOHAzARD]

Jeb: "Lets buzz the tower!"

Bill: "What tower..?"

Jeb: "The space tower!"

Bob: "You mean the Mun?"

Jeb: "Yeah.. that one."

And a Mission outline was born..

Mission Briefing:

Crew: Jebediah Kerman

Goal(s): Fly by the moon and return to Kerbin on a free-return trajectory

http://ksptdd.blogspot.com/2012/12/mission-3-flyby.html

Edited June 5, 2013 by bIOHAzARD

[bIOHAzARD]

It seems that in all the excitement of being within reach of the Mun - KSC forgot to put a satellite up in Kerbin orbit. With Jeb and the boys being off on holiday, KSC decided to test out its new range of unmanned probe cores.

Mission Briefing:

Crew: unmanned

Goal(s): Launch a satellite into LKO to scan for "mine-ables"

http://ksptdd.blogspot.com/2013/04/mission-4-probed-for-science.html

Edited June 5, 2013 by bIOHAzARD

[bIOHAzARD]

Upon his arrival back at KSC, Jeb was outraged to hear an unmanned probe had successfully completed the first actual purposeful mission in space. Jeb, not one to be outdone, immediately got to work on a mission outline to one-up that little probe..

Mission Briefing:

Crew: Jebediah Kerman

Goal(s): Deploy another KethSat into polar Munar orbit

http://ksptdd.blogspot.com/2013/04/mission-5-to-mun-almost.html

Edited June 5, 2013 by bIOHAzARD

[bIOHAzARD]

Jeb: "These command pods are really small.. "

Wernher: "Hmm.. that gives me an idea. We should start work on an orbital, long term science vessel. yes, yes it should house about 10 Kerbals, maybe some monoprop. Some scientific equipment. Yes its brilliant. They can stay up there for months! Oh, the scientific discoveries that await!![ramblings on...]"

Jeb: "Oh uh.. yeah.." *sneaks away slowly

Mission Briefing:

Crew: All available kerbonauts

Goal(s): Establish a scientific space station in LKO (80km - 100km orbit)

Restrictions: NO DEBRIS. We cant risk the station modules being reunited with their launch vehicles..

http://ksptdd.blogspot.com/2013/05/mission-6-kerbal-space-stay-tion.html

Edited June 5, 2013 by bIOHAzARD

[bIOHAzARD]

Because the Kerbals down at ground control aren't completely cold hearted and inhumane (inkerbale?), they have decided to rotate the crew of the Stay-tion and bring up some supplies in the process. Also, Bob is surprisingly claustrophobic and threatened to kill everyone on-board with toothbrushes.

Mission Briefing:

Crew: Next ten kerbals in the roster

Goal(s): Get ten kerbals back to Kerbin safely and restock the Stay-tion with Kerbals

Restrictions: No debris. Don't kill Kerbals, they're important.

http://ksptdd.blogspot.com/2013/05/mission-7-stay-tion-maintenance.html

Edited June 5, 2013 by bIOHAzARD

[bIOHAzARD]

Wernher: "Ok men.. The time has come.."

Jeb: "THE time?!" Bill: "What time?" Bob: "Whuut?"

Wernher: "..Time to shoot for the Mun"

Jeb: **Already drooling about the Mun**

Bill: "REALLY?? When do we launch!?"

Bob: "munmunmunmunmunmun"

As it turns out, the one thing that Kerbals take even remotely seriously - is Mun landings.

They might not be showing it, but the pressure is on.. And that's just how Jeb likes it. The same can't be said for Bill though. Bob remains indifferent.

Mission Briefing:

Crew: Bill Kerman, Jebediah Kerman, Bob Kerman

Goal(s): Land on the Munar surface, explore, and safely return to Kerbin

Restrictions: Leave no debris in orbit of the Mun or of Kerbin. Straws must be drawn to decide who stays aboard the CSM

**Apollo style mission**

http://ksptdd.blogspot.com/2013/05/mission-8-mun-or-bust-seriously.html

Edited June 5, 2013 by bIOHAzARD

[RobbazIsKing]

Very nice short and entertaining compared to those long posts which I just don't have the time to read!

[bIOHAzARD]

Glad you found it entertaining. Big fan by the way. Thanks for replying, appreciate it!

[bIOHAzARD]

Bill, Jeb and Bob: **Cheering and celebrations** (still psyched from their recent Mun mission)

Wernher: "Hahaa alright men. Well done! But why stop there?? Now for Minmus!"

Jeb: "What the ferbal is Minmus?"

Bob: "hmm, it sounds vaguely familiar.."

**Jeb and Bob leave**

Bill: "Come on. Where's the love for Minmus guys?"

Mission Briefing:

Crew: Bill Kerman, Jebediah Kerman, Bob Kerman

Goal(s): Land on the surface of that other moo-uhh Minmus, explore, and safely return to Kerbin

Restrictions: Leave no debris, and don't forget to plant the flag!

http://ksptdd.blogspot.com/2013/06/mission-9-that-other-moon.html

Edited June 5, 2013 by bIOHAzARD

[bIOHAzARD]

Mission control realized early on that the key to space exploration would be leaving the planetary system. That would call for fuel stations around both moons and the planet itself.

They knew they had to work smart - and thus immediately excluded Jebediah. Instead, Bill was given full control of the design of the rovers that would pave the way for mining Kerbin's moons. Bob was given some puzzles and a colouring book.

Enter the RBM or Roving Beacon Machine.

Mission Briefing

Crew: unmanned

Goal(s): Deploy 2 rovers on each Kerbin moon to pin-point Kethane deposits (the rovers are equiped with beacons to mark up to 4 sites for mining)

Restrictions: DO NOT LET JEB NEAR THE CONTROLS UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES!!!1!11..1

http://ksptdd.blogspot.com/2013/06/mission-10-roving-beacon-machine.html

Edited June 5, 2013 by bIOHAzARD

[bIOHAzARD]

Bill: "We.. we have FAILED!!"

Wernher: "What? What are you talking about??"

Bill: "Jeb got in.."

Wernher: [insert look of utter dread here]

Bill: "There are, like, three and a half things he didn't completely obliterate..."

Wernher: "The RBMs?"

Bill: "GONE."

Wernher: "The backup RBMs??"

Bill: "GONE."

Wernher: "S-surely the.. Stay-tion is.."

Bill: "Ah yes, there is good news on that front."

Wernher: "THANK KERB!!! All is not lost! Tha-"

Bill: "-Yeeaah only half of that's gone."

And so some new mission outlines were born!..and some others scrapped, rewritten and/or appended.

WE WILL REBUILD.

http://ksptdd.blogspot.com/2014/02/1-step-forward-two-to-side.html

With everything restored to mostly working order - the staff have noticed a Duna transfer window approaching.. and we happen to have a rover moping around with nothing better to do..

[bIOHAzARD]

With Jeb still in the naughty corner - the staff at KSC have decided to dabble in the art of unmanned interplanetary flight. This will pave the way for a manned return mission the the red planet one day.. maybe Thursday. We just don't know..

While waiting for the transfer window, KSC decided to test the mapping satellites over Kerbin. To their surprise it worked beautifully. They could imagine nothing better than watching the readouts from the sensors slowly sweeping the planet - so they decided to send up satellites to map the mun, minus and even ones to accompany the rover to Ike and Duna. Kerbals are serious about mapping, it seems..

3 launches, 6 satellites, a rover and some surprises (don't build it up too much, you'll ruin it).

http://ksptdd.blogspot.com/2014/02/mission-11-duna-rover.html