More Truckin' with Herbo BEEP Kerman

[Wayfare]

More Truckin' With Herbo on the [bLEEP] Mun

Or

Well, [bLEEP].

We first met Herbo Kerman when he gave us a tour of the Mun Arch Research Base. A short while later, after Jeb, Bill and Bob defected to IDEA, Herbo and his hapless crew became entombed several hundred meters under the surface of the Mun. So we watched Jeb fire a space cannon Ballistic Launch Assist Module instead. Now that the Mun has been given a stern talking to and its surface has returned to its proper position, it's time to check back up on Herbo.

Hey folks! Herbo [bLEEP] Kerman here. You're going to have to excuse me for a minute, I'm on the radio with Malemone back at base. Yo Male, boss! I got good news and bad news. The good news is I fixed the visibility issues we've been having from this [bLEEP] awful cockpit. The bad news is I broke the high-gain antenna while doing so. Fix the antenna you say? Yeah, I'm on top of that. In fact the whole truck is.

Well, [bLEEP]. That's pretty busted up. Seems she doesn't corner too well at thirty meters per second. We'll be camped out here for a while. At least we got plenty of snacks and board games. Oh, look at that, the Monopoly board got all flipped over. Guess I won't be needing to sell Boardwalk after all. Heh.

Hey that's a pretty sweet set of wheels you're testing there! Looks lighter, better traction, and that is one [bLEEP] sexy cockpit. How about you folks send one of those up? It's OK, we'll hang out here for a bit. Who's the test driver? Randall? Oh, [bLEEP]. Don't let him break it.

Randall is a good kid, he really is. But there's a reason we don't take him up to space. Got a lot of courage in him. Most of it is retard courage. Loyal, tenacious retard courage. We once sent him down to Kerman Resources to pick up an eye-dee-ten-tee form. Told him to write it down in case he forgot. Classic, right? Well it took him three days but he actually found one. Who would have thunk. Make sure you pick him out of the cockpit before you launch that thing, he likes to sleep in spacebound things.

Check it out, they delivered it to the MunTug along with an extra tank of fuel so they wouldn't need to make a stop at the LKO fuel depot first. I like it when they hurry stuff up. Hey Annard, got any of those crunchies left? I got the munchies for some crunchies. Heh.

Meanwhile, aboard the MunOphant... *yawn*... Wha..?

Whoa! That MunCrane landing was so hairy I forgot to snap you folks back home a picture! Sorry about that. But there she is. The MunOphant. Look at that sexy [bLEEP] piece of truck. And sh... Wait. Is there something moving in there?

RANDALL?? [bLEEP]!

Alright, hop in. The [bLEEP] with it. You're part of the mission now son. Let's take this baby out for a spin.

Aww yeah, I'm liking this view a lot better. I can actually see where I'm going! Oh, oops, bit stiff in the suspension. No biggie. You guys OK back there? What? Monopoly board flipped again? Well then we'll start over right, it's only fair... Heh.

Are we there yet?

Are we there yet?

Are we there yet?

Are we there yet?

Are we th... *smack* I SWEAR TO [bLEEP] KERBOL RANDALL, ONE MORE WORD AND YOU'RE WALKING!

Well, we made it folks. And whaddayaknow. It's another [bLEEP] rock. Yeah. That was a good reason to truck across a quarter of the Mun.

Yup. Does just as much as the other one. Hey, Randall! You wanna be the first Kerbal to plant a flag under a Mun Arch? Here you go kid. Knock yourself out. Heh. No, no! Stop punching yourself. Just... Just go out and plant the [bLEEP] flag.

Male? This is Herbo. Yeah. We found the other object. It's another [bLEEP] rock. And guess what, we also found out it's not a portal to a different dimension. Nope. Just a [bLEEP] rock. How? Let's just say we conducted a simple experiment using some expendable resources. Heh. Alright boys, let's get out and snap a picture. Wouldn't be surprised if there's a Kobel Prize in Dangerous Astrophysics in it for us.

Say [bLEEEEEEEEEP]!

Many kilometers back, the MunMammoth chills out in the setting sun. It's got enough RTGs to sustain its computer brain for a few centuries. It'll just count the grains of Mundust – it could never see those before.

Edited June 3, 2013 by Wayfare

[Spartwo]

my randall is a cowardly idiot.I thought the stats were universal.

[Wayfare]

I'm not sure which one of us should be more terrified of him

[Elven_sword]

Ah retard courage-the best type of courage.

[sytaline]

Cool! I like Herbo

[Wayfare]

Thanks sytaline! I hope to see Herbo return to my Kerbonaut's corps in 0.21. Just need to burn off test pilots until he shows up...

[astropapi1]

Say [bLEEEEEEEEEP]!

That made me laugh. Have some Rep.

[Custard Donut (In Space)]

Herbo is great, i really enjoy his stories.

[Wayfare]

Cheers astropapi, it made me laugh too

Custard, thanks again, I'm glad you're enjoying Herbo's adventures. They were a lot of fun!