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Project: ARES--A Study Of Moho In 0.21

The Jedi Master
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The Jedi Master

The Jedi Master

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ARESPatch.png

Kudos to Nutt007 for the awesome logo

(Now, before you ask, I had to cancel my Mun base project due to confirmed save breaking in 0.21. Tis a shame, it really did have a following. But this should suffice--it is a fair bit more grandeur, after all...)

Gene Kerman: And the astronaut complex will go right over there, behind the VAB. Should greatly streamline the Kerbonaut selection process...

Gene is working on the plans for the new KSC design. It's a welcome change, too--he has always thought the KSC looked a bit ugly, the VAB in particular. He's been busy all week, too, tracking the meteors headed for the Mun and planning the Artemis 2 Apollo-style Mun landing planned for the 20th. Ah, the Artemis 2--a demonstration of docking, of the future. Granted, the Artemis 1 tipped over on landing, but Gene knows that an Apollo-style mission can be done...

He loses this train of thought when the Director walks into the room.

Gene: Director, SIR!

Director: Good evening, Gene. I understand that your busy, but that little secret project you've been laying out for next year...

Gene: The interplanetary base? What about it?

Director: It's ready for announcement. President John F. Kerman wants to meet with us in the Capitol for the press release.

Gene: OK, I'll go get my suit...

Director: Oh, and Gene?

Gene: Yeah?

Director: That possible target you and Jeb mentioned... it's been confirmed. Despite the bad idea that it is...

Gene: YES! I'll call Armstrong Base!

Later, in the Capitol...

The crowds are full of bursting. Whenever the Director himself is invited, it's always either an announcement for a really big project, or the cancellation of a failed project. Either way, it always draws huge crowds. The Director steps up to the podium at the President's invitation. He takes a deep breath.

Director: We have good news, and we have bad news. Lets get the bad news out of the way, first: Due to the major meteor shower anticipated to hit the Mun early next year, Armstrong Base is being evacuated and shut down until further notice.

Reporter: A disappointment, but not a surprise by a long shot. What about the Artemis 2?

Director: That mission will continue, as it does have a return to Kerbin planned, and we should be able to squeeze it in before the first meteors hit.

Reporter: Interesting indeed. But what of the good news?

Director: What if I said... interplanetary?

The crowd cheers.

Director: What if I said... base?

More cheers, even louder.

Director What if I said... *sigh*... Moho?

The cheer is deafening now...

Director: I won't tease you any longer. Indeed, a thorough study of Moho is planned for next year, starting with an unmanned rover, then moving up to a base, slowly but surely. With the Artemis 2 set to teach us docking, we may even be able to put a space station in orbit around Moho--something even the mighty Manley Aeronautics and Space Administration has not yet done. If we can beat MASA, we can beat the world!

The crowd is absolutely wild now. Champagne and confetti fly everywhere. The reporters have to yell for the Director to hear them.

Reporter: DIRECTOR, MOHO IS NOTORIOUS FOR HIGH DELTA-V COSTS AND INCLINATION. HOW DOES THE JEDI SPACE PROGRAM PLAN TO ACCOUNT FOR THIS?

Director: We will do as we have always done, my friend. MOAR BOOSTERS!

Reporter: WERE THE FABLED "MOHOLES" AN INFLUENCE IN THE CHOICE OF MOHO AS A TARGET?

Director: An influence, yes. We certainly are curious about them. But that's not all. Moho has been neglected by the other great space agencies. Oh, sure, MASA wants to mine for Kethane, but that's about it. We want to recognize Moho for what it is--not a boring, hot rockball, but an actual, interesting planet worthy of study. We do not mine for Kethane--rather, we leave the deposits untouched, as nature should be. Instead, we study Moho in all it's natural beauty, however unapparent that beauty may be at first glance...

The quest for the hottest planet in the solar system that isn't Eve begins...

(more when 0.21 comes out. I'll try not to get this cancelled halfway though this time... :wink: )

Edited by The Jedi Master
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Scotius

Scotius

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Nature? Untouched? In the same system Kerbals live? Naaaaaahhhhhhh :D There's gotta be craters, debris, junk and hot spots of radiation everywhere. Live fast, live Kerbal! Just make sure everyone makes it back home alive and well.

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DMagic

DMagic

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Thank you! You won't have to wait much longer, I believe, as I think (and don't quote me on it) that 0.21 is going to release VERY soon. Like, within the next hour.

I wouldn't count on a weekend release. But I do look forward to seeing how your Moho mission turns out, there are never enough of those.

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Duxwing

Duxwing

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I like your idea, but your writing needs work:

--New characters outside of a mystery or parable context require an introduction before entering: e.g., describe the Director's appearance or past before having him burst into the room.

--Characters should greet the Director with as "sir" not "SIR!" because the Kerbal Space Program is not a military program.

--Avoid repeating such words or phrases as "too" in the first few sentences of your story.

--Dramatic pauses provide drama to listeners but headaches to readers: avoid them.

--If you must add drama to your writing, then use dashes "--" or colons ":" to break up your words and add emphasis, respectively.

Your current first dozen or so lines are as follows:

Gene Kerman: And the astronaut complex will go right over there, behind the VAB. Should greatly streamline the Kerbonaut selection process...

Gene is working on the plans for the new KSC design. It's a welcome change, too--he has always thought the KSC looked a bit ugly, the VAB in particular. He's been busy all week, too, tracking the meteors headed for the Mun and planning the Artemis 2 Apollo-style Mun landing planned for the 20th. Ah, the Artemis 2--a demonstration of docking, of the future. Granted, the Artemis 1 tipped over on landing, but Gene knows that an Apollo-style mission can be done...

He loses this train of thought when the Director walks into the room.

Gene: Director, SIR!

Director: Good evening, Gene. I understand that your busy, but that little secret project you've been laying out for next year...

Gene: The interplanetary base? What about it?

Director: It's ready for announcement. President John F. Kerman wants to meet with us in the Capitol for the press release.

Gene: OK, I'll go get my suit...

Director: Oh, and Gene?

Gene: Yeah?

Director: That possible target you and Jeb mentioned... it's been confirmed. Despite the bad idea that it is...

Gene: YES! I'll call Armstrong Base!

They should look like:

Flourescent lights hum above Gene Kerman's head as he excitedly scribbles on a legal pad, alone in the Mission Control Room; he whispers to himself, "And the astronaut complex goes right over there...streamline the Kerbonaut selection process". His pencil snaps, and he sighs, "If I only had a machine that would let me write with an electronic pencil," rising up and trundling off, he continues, "three hundred megawatts...lots of boosters...Jebediah--Great Scott!". He pauses wide-eyed and tremebles as the terrifying flight recordings flash through his mind: the orange-suited Kerbanaut had stapled an office chair to an RT-10, strapped himself in with duct tape, and tossed a match under the nozzle with KSC security hot on his tail. The bright flame, brilliant sparks, and choking dust drew a line from the launch pad to--Gene winces, takes a deep breath, and reminds himself that coffee does not jump out of mugs and onto Kerbal chests. Exhaling and regaining his composure, he resumes walking to the pencil sharpener, "KSC looked always did look a bit ugly, the VAB in particular... Oh! I need to update those meteorcharts from last Monday". He'd been tracking the meteors headed for the Mun and planning the Artemis 2 Apollo-style Mun landing planned for the 20th, "Ah, the Artemis 2: a demonstration of docking--of the future!". He smiles up into an imaginary sky but then bows his head, "The Artemis 1 tipped over on landing, but an Apollo-style mission can be done. Now what was I doing again?"

The Director brings his pudgy bulk into the room.

Gene turns to look at the open double door and blinks, "Director! What brings you here?"

"Good evening, Gene. I understand that your busy, but that little secret project you've been laying out for next year--"

"--The interplanetary base? What about it?"

"It's ready for announcement." Gene smiles, and the Director continues down the grey carpet that runs between the rows of seats, "President John F. Kerman wants to meet with us in the Capitol for the press release."

Gene nods, "OK, I'll go get my suit."

"Oh, and Gene?" The director grabs the scrawny scientist by the shoulder and whispers into his ear, a hint of anxiety breaking through his staid decorum.

"Yeah?"

"That possible target you and Jeb mentioned... it's been confirmed--"

"YES! I'll call Armstrong Base!--" Gene leaps into the recycled air.

"--Despite the bad idea that it is..."

But Gene is already ten paces away and shouting in glee, far beyond the reach of rhyme or reason.

---

Find a good editor. :)

-Duxwing

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The Jedi Master

The Jedi Master

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-snip-

I am gaping in awe right now from the new and improved version. Do you write stuff? I'd like to see you're work! :)

Just a note, Jeb, Bill 'n' Bob are currently stranded in orbit around the sun because I got the phase angle wrong. If you want me to write up an In Story explanation, I can.

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Duxwing

Duxwing

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I am gaping in awe right now from the new and improved version. Do you write stuff? I'd like to see you're work! :)

Wow, thanks! :) I've written a few songs, at least two dozen short stories, a score of poems, a screenplay, and parts of two theater plays, have concepts for many more, and I copy edit almost every Wikipedia article that I read. Below is an old favorite of mine, "The Leopard and The Tree". I wrote it with a philosophical point in mind.

The contented snores of man, beast, fish, and fowl fill the jungle as the night draws on CRASH! The death knell of a mighty tree resounds throughout the foliage, yet nothing stirs. The dust settles as the sun rises through the canopy, awakening an obese old leopard. Grumbling and groaning, it heaves its titanic bulk out of its den to prepare for the hunt; it rolls along, not only aware of even the slightest twitch in the underbrush, but of the significant traction that it gains by exhaling.

The leopard, yellow and smelly as a fine cheese, sees a rat scurrying across the jungle, and, huffing and puffing, it gives pursuit the rat, both terrified and disturbed, makes silent double time as it zips under the tree that had fallen that very morning. With the mouse speeding through the ever narrowing gap between the rotting timber and the forest floor, the leopard almost has a stroke as it barely squeezes its podgy hindquarters under the log.

Yet ere obtaining its quarry it halts! For by peering through the entrance to the mouse’s burrow, it glimpses the mouse clutching its family, weeping horribly, and bemoaning its untimely death. Unable to swallow its morals and its dinner, too, the leopard departs and vows to become a vegetarian. Forever more, it sullenly eats berries, nuts, and shoots, and as it waxes nostalgic for doubly-deep fried cream of condor it cries into the vast and endless jungle with a thin and lonely voice that falls unheard as it strikes the brush:

“What am I? A leopard? Yes! I have long, piercing claws, razor sharp teeth, and a coat that strikes fear into the heart of every animal in the jungle and I’ve finally shed those pounds. Yet leopards eat meat, and I’ve sworn it off; thus, if I am not entirely a leopard, what am I? A muskrat? No. A snake? Hardly. If I am not exactly any animal in the jungle, then perhaps I am a vegetarian leopard. Yet how can I be such an oxymoron? Vegetarian leopard? Ridiculous! It’s like saying tasty tofu or scrumptious salad no, I cannot define myself so. Besides, if I can say that I am a vegetarian leopard then I can also say that I am a housecat with huge teeth, claws, spots, and pressing need for anger management!â€Â

Just a note, Jeb, Bill 'n' Bob are currently stranded in orbit around the sun because I got the phase angle wrong. If you want me to write up an In Story explanation, I can.

Wow? You're actually acting these missions out? OK! Cool! You'll never run short of material that way, but you may not get the story that you wanted. :) Your question about In Story explanations--write one that best fits the themes of your story--raises a more important subject: universe building. A consistent, rich universe can deeply immerse your readers, and one with logical conclusions that are either never stated or only alluded to can resemble a cropped painting in that it seems real and expansive; such a universe provides a vast, rich playground for readers' imaginations. I also suggest having a few 'big' ideas necessitate everything else in your story to render its details meaningful, e.g.,

Big idea: Bob wants to rob a jewelry store.

Little ideas: Bob gets a gun to frighten the teller and customers, a mask to hide his identity, and some bags to hold the jewels.

Details: His gun has a frightening looking bayonet, his mask covers his face completely, and his bags are made of Kevlar so that the jewels don't poke through.

As an author, you must decide which of Bob's reasons to include: you can imply to great artistic effect.

-Duxwing

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The Jedi Master

The Jedi Master

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Everyone, I'd like to apologize. I have realized that this is well beyond my skill level. So, sadly, it will likely never be completed. I apologize for this--it sucks just as much to me as to you. From now on, I will not post an AAR unless I am absolutely sure I can complete it. I hope this will never happen again. I thank you for all the praise, and apologize for the disappointment.

--The Jedi Master

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Duxwing

Duxwing

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Everyone, I'd like to apologize. I have realized that this is well beyond my skill level. So, sadly, it will likely never be completed. I apologize for this--it sucks just as much to me as to you. From now on, I will not post an AAR unless I am absolutely sure I can complete it. I hope this will never happen again. I thank you for all the praise, and apologize for the disappointment.

--The Jedi Master

Oh, it's OK. :) *hug* A mission to Moho is no mean feat, and you've done a great deal just by trying. Try sending an ion orbiter probe over there.

-Duxwing

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