A failed mission

[SpaceOddity]

I just had to write it after I seen the new "Terminate Mission" window.

Please tell me what do you think?

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Kiran’s blatant disregard for rules and regulations previously cost him his position in the Space Program, but on this occasion it has saved his life.

His whole mission was a string of failures, which was only fitting, as a Krussian failure was the sole reason for Kirans journey - Krusskies were not keen on variants (it is hard to be when your alphabet consists of letters like “the forky thing with three tines†or “boxy thingie which looks like an Aâ€Â) so when their payload was a few hundreds kilograms heavier than capacity of their rocket, instead of just strapping a few solid boosters to the first stage, they would rather requisition a larger rocket. This would all too frequently lead to situations when a 10 ton satellite would sit on top of vehicle capable of lifting ten times as much.

Combine this with the combustion chamber lined with catalyst to make fuel-oxidizer mixture hypergolic, add a faulty valve and acceleration forcing fuel past turbopump and into combustion chamber and the rocket would soar right into solar orbit. Exactly this happened to their newest spy satellite KHrushka-1. It sat in an orbit just barely skimming the top of atmosphere at perikee and almost approaching Minimus at apokee. Krusskies were panicking at first, but after few days they concluded that within a month their failed satellite will either burn up or hit the Mun.

There was a prize on board of the doomed vessel – small electronic module containing their encryption software.

Someone from one of the unnamed intelligence offices came up with a daring plan. Send up a vessel to dock with Khrushka’s resupply port while at apokee and therefore out of usable range of Krusskies radar, have an astronaut retrieve the module and change KHrushka’s trajectory so it would completely disintegrate over Krussia, while the Murkian craft would take the long way home to avoid detection. If the commies fell for it, and didn’t change their codes, Murkians would have access to all enemy communications. And even if they did change the codes, their encoder would be invaluable.

Krusskies were not stupid though, they routinely monitored the whereabouts of Murkian space personnel and crafts. It was highly doubtful however, that they would care about a perpetually drunk and disgraced aglet salesman, so enter Kiran Kerman, the last man to orbit the Mun. Kiran had another advantage as well – he was old school and the only craft equipped with the old style docking port was even older – a three man capsule used for the historic international rendezvous, currently residing in Kitsonian museum.

A couple weeks later it sat wrapped in a radar absorbing shroud on top of KSP’s heaviest lifter, together with three other satellites serving as decoys. The capsule was gutted and retrofitted with supplies for the extended mission – at cost of capacity, as it would be a home for only one astronaut.

Three… Two… We got ignition… One… Lift-off. And that’s where the first failure happened. Some desk-jockey didn’t know his inclination from his heading. Another one didn’t spot the mistake. Due to security there was no third and fourth desk jockeys to check the work of other two, so Kiran ended up in a completely wrong orbit.

There was no way he could continue with his mission, unless… Kiran took a well-worn slide ruler and Orbital reference guide and after forty minutes of hard work he had a plan. He bounced a laconic text message off a deep space probe which he had to use for communications to avoid detection and carefully entered data into his flight computer. It would work. In theory. Maybe. If there was a “wartime reserve†in the tanks.

When hours later the message arrived back on Kerbin after travelling for millions of miles it puzzled the controller. Orbit wrong. Fire the planner. Out of a cannon. I will get your thing, maybe even survive. Tell my wife I love her.

At that time Kiran was soundly asleep waiting for his craft to approach the derelict. An hour before scheduled time, he went on EVA and removed the shroud. He considered jettisoning it, but in the end stowed it away in a specially prepared compartment. Everything was ready, and he could already see his target without instruments, so he headed back inside.

Only after matching velocity he took time to assess the situation. KHrushka was hovering about hundred yards from his craft, and looking through a small viewport Kiran saw that the satellite suffered from a complete staging failure – its solar panels must have opened while in the atmosphere and now were trailing behind the craft like broken wings. The craft itself was venting atmosphere and fluids creating a comet-like tail of frozen crystals, resulting miniscule acceleration cauing it to tumble.

Come to think of it, it couldn’t be KHrushka – the craft was larger, more bulky. There were no docking ports he could see, and something deep in Kiran’s unconscious mind told him “militaryâ€Â. He bounced another message to Mission Control, cursing the pathetically slow connection. He had to limit himself to roughly 160 characters, with every letter increasing transfer time in geometric proportion. Not our target. Docking unsuccessful. EVA to investigate.

Kiran prepared himself for EVA, cursing a long dead president, who after Krussian spacewalk, called tether cheating, and decreed a ban on using tethers in KSP. This was a bloody pattern with politicians. Krusskies had the best autopilots possible (so they could hold a glass in one hand and vodka bottle in other) while Murkian establishment considered any form of computerized control “cheatingâ€Â. Even the pathetic flight computers they allowed were frowned upon.

Kiran approached the craft and stabilised it using his Personal Manoeuvring Unit. It was the easy part. Now it was time for hard work. He returned to his craft, which by the time drifted away, refilled his backpack fuel as the gauge was dangerously close to zero and opened the Good Book. He grimaced at his own blasphemy, but it was the only way to smuggle contraband onboard. Inside the hollowed out Kessnick & Kalliday was a 500 meter roll of aerospace tape, large army knife and a banana (don’t even ask why they were banned, just don’t). He quickly fashioned a makeshift rope, attached it near the hatch and jumped to the other craft. He attached his tether to what he thought would be a suitable anchor point and flew back. He slowly pulled enemy craft closer doubling and then quadrupling his rope, as he knew that soon it would become brittle. Soon his catch was close enough, that he could connect his suit directly to his craft. “Bloody Tennedy. Effin my pilots will fly only with basic parts and skillâ€Â, he muttered, when the connector slipped out of the socket for the tenth time. “Just admit that tethering is the way to go instead of making our life harderâ€Â. He knew that the connectors were built this way on purpose, to provide oxygen and power without anchor to the craft, so commies couldn’t accuse KSP of cheating. In fact the development of the bloody things was twice as expensive as development of Mainsail engine.

He finally managed to secure the connection, and started carefully exploring his target. It was big. It had to be a new version, maybe KHrushka-2? It was completely different from Khrushka-1, so he had little idea where to start. He identified the main thruster block, fuel and RCS tanks, but he could not find any familiar structure on the large and almost featureless cylinder.

Finally he found quite large spring-loaded cover – he had been looking in a wrong place – Most spy satellites had their primary optics fed by a mirror in one side, while this was more like a traditional telescope – with a circular opening on the front. Well, it made some sense, the optics could have larger diameter, and they could use gravity-gradient for attitude control.

The cover was jammed, probably because of the pieces of the fairing impacting it when the rocket suffered catastrophic staging failure. Kiran was prepared – mission planner supplied him with enough explosive to cut KHrushka in two, so he applied some to the stubborn cover, rotated the whole craft so it would point away from his ship and fired the explosive. He felt the loud thud vibrating through metal, and saw pieces of the cover flying away.

As he approached the explosion site, he saw that what he previously thought to be part of the craft was in fact hinged cover – now open like gigantic petals. He mused for a few seconds how thick the cover was, and how horribly expensive it must have been to send it to orbit, but then he saw the exposed structure. There was an access hatch, now clearly visible, but Kiran decided to investigate the lens first.

It was quite strange – it looked more like a cupola from the X-Lab station, but with a huge hole through the centre. Then he noticed frozen condensation on the triangular windows, evaporating quickly now that it was exposed to the bright sunlight.

“It’s not good…†he said to himself “there’s an internal coolant leakâ€Â.

A coolant leak meant that most of the electronics would be already corroded. Kiran approached one of the windows, and pressed his faceplate against the window, trying to sneak a peek through misted glass.

He wet himself when a face bumped into the window just inches from his eyes. For a moment Kiran thought the Krusskie was alive, as Kerbals could survive almost indefinitely if they had sunlight and water, but corpses ashen face left no doubt that it expired in a quite painful way some time ago.

When the window cleared Kiran saw that just before his death enemy cosmonaut attempted to break one of the reinforced panels on the narrow galley encircling the central shaft, succeeding only in marking the innermost layer. Kiran moved away from the window and towards the shaft, which was certainly large enough for him to move through, but red pictograms painted at intervals around the opening meant danger.

Goddamn commies had to use completely different pictograms – at one point “reverse krusskie arrow†on a turbopump inlet caused quite a lot of explosive problems for KSP. He tried to focus, and remember his training several years ago.

“This would mean optical or visible, and this means radiation†he pondered “Visible radiation? Optical radiation? It’s a bloody laser!†he exclaimed â€ÂNo wonder they sacrificed the crew.â€Â

Kiran knew it was big. He returned to the craft, and swearing at the limits he bounced a message to Control. His computer would now send it several thousand times towards a Vagabond 2 probe just leaving the Kerbolar system, which in turn would bounce it towards Kerbin as part of its data stream. It would take several hours, so Kiran decided to go to sleep.

He felt too tired to remove his suit, only to put it back on when he awoke, so he decided to disobey the regulations (again) and removed only one of his gloves to attach heart rate electrodes. He knew he would soon overheat, so to keep the coolant circulating, he kept the tubes attached and his helmet closed.

He awoke to a sharp pain in his exposed hand – it was swollen, and green liquid was seeping through his skin. There should’ve been an alarm, but the craft was dark and silent, with only one tiny screen in the upper right corner of the instrument panel active. Kiran knew something really bad happened. “Decompression!†His own shout inside the helmet nearly deafened him. He frantically looked for his missing glove, spending precious minutes trying to force his swollen hand into now ill-fitting part. Finally he succeeded, but it cost him quite a lot of blood. Luckily the self-inflating cuff prevented the rest of the suit from depressurising, but it would leave a nasty bruise – still a small price to pay for one’s life.

Finally he had time to look around. The craft was silent – no wonder in vacuum – and dark, save for one screen, which should be displaying the status on secondary back up to the life support. Now however…

Super-ops terminal.
Debug mode.
Mission terminated. Converting to unmanned. Pressure equalisation valve opened 10%.
Success.
Moving to deorbit trajectory. 
Telemetry missing. Ground guidance missing. Using last know orbital data. Burn in 5… 4… 3… 2… 1.

The craft rotated smoothly, without any jolts and jerking common to the on-board computers. Then It started the engine throttling up smoothly. “So that’s what a proper autopilot works like… although I would prefer one that doesn’t try to kill me. I wonder how it copes with the other craft still attached.â€Â

It tried for a few seconds but to no avail – and the smooth ride degraded into a wild rodeo, Kiran thought he was going to puke, but luckily it didn’t last long. As the craft fell silent, the damned screen started blinking again.

Trajectory adjustment successful.
Converting to debris. Pressurizing for optimal effect. Remember to replace memory foam after inert test! 

Kiran felt the returning air through his suit, puzzled. “Converting to debris? Memory foam?†He looked at the screen again.

Pressure at 2 bar on T-1. Starting countdown. T-200 s. Please retreat to a blast shelter if hot test.
T-199
T-198

This was definitely a hot test. The only place where Kiran would find any significant amount of memory foam was the couch he was strapped to, so he quickly started ripping it to shreds with his knife. Throughout the foam there were pressurized containers, now seeping a red liquid. And detonators connected to a small box. He ripped the box out, but he knew that even a blasting cap could cause a disaster in over-pressurized capsule. He looked at the screen.

T-34
T-33

Without thinking he opened the equalisation valve, and when time reached 10 seconds the hatch. It was third most horrible experience of his life, as decompression pushed everything not strapped down (including Kiran) outside. The explosion was much larger than he expected – even with virtually no medium between him and the foam, he still felt the blast.

As he returned to his capsule – with his PMU almost empty he noticed that kermunist craft was gone, his makeshift tether snapped. When cautiously moving through the hatch, he noticed that the small screen was frozen.

T-5 Erasing all data.
T-4 Resetting flight parameters to default.
T-3 Charging.
T-2 Charge optimal. Sending tachyon pulse.
T-1 Pulse sent
T-0 Test successful. Have a nice day Professor VK.

All the other screens (at least those which survived decompression) were back online, showing NIL values. Kiran was well trained, so he knew how to reset the capsule, but there was a small problem of navigation. It seemed like the recorder which he used to recover didn’t record the last burn. Kiran was old school enough not to giggle at the word sextant, and there was one built into the capsule, so he managed to get his position, not with a 100% accuracy but well enough to know what to do.

The treacherous flight computer put his flight onto a steep re-entry patch which would ensure that debris burnt completely. The capsule might survive, but probably not intact. Kiran checked his status, it was far from nominal, but he had enough air and water left to survive. As to the fuel… Maybe a couple manoeuvres. He started planning, hindered by lack of paper and his slide rule, which was destined to burn high in the atmosphere.

Using the on-board computer (although cautiously, as Kiran was extremely wary of it now) he managed to plot a course correction which would allow him to survive, and land somewhere in the unpopulated mountain region, quite near his cottage. Provided of course that It (Kiran started to think of the computer as of some malicious personality) didn’t mess up with parachutes.

It didn’t and the capsule landed in a bed of a dry stream mere thirty miles from his summer house. Kiran cut and buried the parachute and covered the capsule the best he could. He was sure that nobody traced him, as during his last EVA ever he wrapped his craft in the radar absorbing shroud, but someone would probably report the fireball in the sky.

He knew that, with hunting and fishing seasons over, the region was nearly empty now. When he was here just a month ago with his wife, even the shop owner left for holiday in the tropical seas, leaving the honour system jar in place. Nevertheless Kiran travelled cautiously, avoiding roads and settlements. He came close to an empty house only once to steal clothes from a scarecrow, to replace his orange jumpsuit visible for miles.

It took him nearly a week to get home, and as he was nearer he started to have doubts – it was a place they would definitely look for him. But he was so hungry and tired, he could not run forever. Not from everyone. Kiran crawled on top of a nearby hill, and watched for hours, before finally deciding to approach.

He nearly died when a pair of swallows darted from their nest over the door, but this – and untouched spider nets on the door shown that nobody was in, so he entered. The doors were left unlocked – as always in this area. You always left your main room and kitchen available for people in need. The only thing out of place was his wife’s grandmother’s witch figurine perched on a pedestal by the fireplace – he remembered knocking it on the floor last month, when he tried to bring all their bags in one go. He sent it to the best specialist in the country, but it would take half a year to repair – well maybe the old astronaut magic worked its charm again, to put him in front of the queue.

Kiran ran into the kitchen and stuffed himself full of baked beans, then went to sleep. In the morning he could not remember where they have hidden the keys to the rest of the house – last year they were under the large stone, so this year they should be in the tree stump? But the stump was empty, and Kiran remembered removing the keys from under the stone when they arrived and putting them into the hollowed stump when they left. Maybe it was his wife when she returned her beloved figurine. Anyway he would have to bathe in the stream, which wasn’t so bad. Later he would try to call Beth.

Bathing in the stream saved him from detection – it was morning, and just as he left the house, he heard an approaching car. Kiran quickly ran to hide, looking for a position to observe his guest – his heart raced “Beth!â€Â.

It was Beth, but she was with somebody – a man no doubt, but a reflection in the windshield prevented Kiran to see other man’s face. “I know you think you’re a widow, but this is too soon honey. And for gods’ sake, not my car too!†he whispered, not knowing which hurt him more.

He saw the man trying to impress Beth by taking all the bags at once, like he always did, and then he heard a creak of the doors followed by a sound of porcelain hitting the floor. “Serves you right you bastard†he smiled “looks like you sleep on the floor tonightâ€Â. He saw the guy leaving the house, approaching the big stone and retrieving keys from underneath, and the confidence he did it with made Kiran angry – it wasn’t first time the guy retrieved the keys, so Beth must have met him here earlier…

His paranoia returned, ten times as strong as before. “She is in on it… she is in on it… they both planned it together…†he repeated for hours while watching the house from his hiding place. Finally he decided. He grabbed a log splitting axe and approached the doors hiding it behind his back. He knocked, confident, measured, non-threatening knock.

“Hi! How can I help you?†Beth opened the door.

“Did you forget me already Beth? Don’t you even recognize me?†Kiran’s voice started to break “How could you do this to me?â€Â

“Who’s that honey?†other man interrupted

“I don’t know K, I need you here now†exclaimed Beth nearly panicking.

Kiran took out his axe, but before he could do anything a sudden jolt went through his body, and he fell on the ground like a rag doll. He only heard pieces of conversation.

“KSP security ma’am, is everything all right? … Just a nut case, thinks he is Kiran Kerman … we have been watching him, but he disappeared a few weeks ago … nothing to worry about … we will take him back to hospital … you look just like Jebâ€Â.

Kiran woke up in front of a mirror, and he could not believe how much older he was now – about twenty years. His hair was grey and his beard messy – although he could swear that he shaved recently – maybe they were keeping him on drugs. He didn’t remember getting that scar over his left eye either, but drugs would explain that.

Someone behind Kiran started “From my own experience, it helps to know that Beth had nothing to do with it. She simply doesn’t remember you.â€Â

“What do you mean doesn’t remember me? I’m her husband!â€Â

“She never remembered me either†said his reflection…

Kiran’s brain suddenly clicked, and he realised that it was no reflection – just a homeless man he has seem once before his mission around the Mun. He touched his face just to make sure there was no scar…

“Yes†said the man “we Kirans are always catching quickly, not like Jebs†he chuckled followed by several others.