The Flight of the FOObird

[Geschosskopf]

With the departure of the KTC for Jool, most boffins immediately went on long vacations. However, several junior boffins were detailed to stay behind because somebody had to keep up the appearance of business. These junior boffins were of course told not to actually do any real work, and most especially not to launch anything, but youthful enthusiasm, total lack of supervision, and mass quantities of booze quickly caused these stipulations to be forgotten.

So it was that the FOObird (Forward Observation Obstructed) was born. The drunken junior boffins decided it would be cool to build a small, light, and very flimsy SSTO spaceplane. It had to be this way so the senior boffins wouldn't notice any reduction in the stock of parts when they got back. And they figured they'd only get 1 shot at this so it had to work the 1st time. Therefore, to avoid failures from lack of intake air while keeping the part count low, they stuck one of the big SABRE intakes on the nose right in front of the lawnchair. Hence, the name of the machine. But at least it would serve as a heatshield for the pilot.

After hammering the beast together during an all-night binge, the junior boffins proudly pushed the beast out to the end of the runway as the morning sun was rising. Given the circumstances of its birth, it contained several obvious design flaws, such as the rear LFO tanks dragging the ground and the massive nose-up attitude. But the junior boffins had confidence.

The pilot turned out to be Bill, who fortunately was just drunk enough to try it. Besides, Jeb was still off flying the Argonian in the vicinity of Jool, Bob would have nothing to do with it, and none of the pressganged noobs could be trusted to keep their mouths shut about it. Of course, because there had to be a way to get Bill into the lawnchair, the junior boffins also had to cobble together a rover with a ladder. Here, Bill dangles precariously over the lawnchair prior to doing a backflip into it.

When the rover was moved out of the way, Bill fired up the small SABRE engine. Sure enough, the surge of airflow over the wings quickly flexed the single cubic octagonal struts holding the wings and LFO tanks on, causing the tanks to clear the ground and the plane leapt into the air in less than its own length after a split-seconds uncertainly balanced on just its long nose-wheel.

And away it soared! Bill headed straight into the rising sun, glad that the big intake kept it out of his eyes. Nose that it looks like the wings are held on only by the fuel lines .

The FOObird flew like a champ. In just a few minutes, Bill was screaming along at over 1700m/s above 28km, fascinated by the flames licking just over his head from around the edge of the intake. At this point, Bill decided to switch over to rocket mode although he was sure he could have continued a bit more in jet mode.

And so into a 100km orbit with no worries about fuel. Bill considered doing a touch-and-go but in the end decided that probably wouldn't work. So after 3/4 of a lap around Kerbin, he burned retrograde to come back down at KSC, an important part of the whole escapade. It definitely wouldn't do to have to stage a rescue mission.

So Bill came down over Re-Entry Mountains and saw KSC in the distance. To avoid overshooting, he deliberately aimed a bit short and flew his final approach using the jet mode of the SABRE.

All looked fine and dandy, right down the runway going just over the rover. And then...

The design flaw struck! Bill had forgotten his nosegear strut was so long so didn't have enough nose-up attitude when it made contact. The FOObird wobbled along unsteadily for a short distance on just this wheel as Bill struggled for control, then one of the wingtip wheels touched and slammed the LFO tanks onto the tarmac.

To the applause of the still-drunk junior boffins who'd been lining the runway watching, Bill bailed out before the wreckage had quit slid to a stop, then posed for quick picture, the 1st Kerbal to circumnavigate Kerbin in a lawnchair.

But then it belatedly occurred to everybody that Bill would have been better off remaining seated because the crew rover, having only been designed to get Bill into the lawnchair, had no means of entry from ground level. Fortunately, however, one of the severed wings made a perfect loading ramp.

At this point, the boffins decided Bill had better push the wreckage off the runway so it wouldn't look like they'd actually flown anything. Of course, the rover hadn't been designed for that, either. As soon as it tried, the SABRE engine exploded, flipping the rover over. So there was nothing for it but for everybody to walk back to the SPH and build a proper bulldozer.

All in all, it was fun morning with a gratifying number of explosions. The appearance of continued activity at KSC had been maintained