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Kerbal Obsessive Grief Syndrome

quasarrgames

By quasarrgames
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quasarrgames

quasarrgames

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Kerbal Obsessive Grief Syndrome, also known as KOGS, is a disorder often acquired from playing too much Kerbal Space Program.

Common symptoms of KOGS are irregular thought patterns, obsession, borderline schizophrenia, and depression. Some physical symptoms that may take place are an a decrease in weight, blurred vision, and lack of sleep.

It has 4 stages of development before it completely takes effect, and once it does, it can be very hard to reverse. The 4 stages of KOGS have been elaborated on here:

Stage 1: Intrigue

The patient will try the demo of KSP, and get used to its setting and mechanics, specifically the mechanics of lithobraking. this will make the patient intrigued, and make them want more of an experience.

Stage 2: Wonder

The patient will then proceed to buy the full version. The patient is in awe of the new planets to explore, and the new parts at their disposal. The patient makes it their mission to explore and do everything within their ability in this fantastic new game.

Stage 3: Obsession

The patient becomes obsessed with KSP. The patient spends days and nights trying to explore all the interplanetary bodies they are physically able to. The patient often gets little sleep during this time, and forgets to eat, which is met with massive intakes of caffeinated beverages.

Stage 4: Depression

The patient becomes depressed, because they realize that they are eating away at their short life without actually accomplishing anything meaningful. The patient is often not in a very healthy position physically or socially by the time the fourth stage kicks in. The patient will then proceed to try to force these feelings of depression down by playing even more KSP, but it only makes their depression more prominent. This depression eventually turns to grief as the patient realizes that they wasted so much of their life meaninglessly playing KSP, and they will never get it back.

If you are experiencing any of these stages, or have already gone through them all, you should speak up about it. There ARE treatment options for you.

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WillHop

WillHop

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Hi, my name is Will, and yes, I'm... I'm addicted to Kerbal Space Program. I spend my days planning terrific missions in my head and spend my nights executing them. I often to forget to sleep, eat or occasionally breathe and my family have gone, saying "If you love Jeb more than you love us, were gone". It got so bad I recently thought I was turning green and getting shorter. I also tried to jump off the shed on to my trampoline in an attempt to get to the Moon, or as I call it Mun, to see if there are large arches resembling worms.

Somebody help me.

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quasarrgames

quasarrgames

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Ehhh...what treatment options?

There are several treatment options for KOGS, but some of them require sacrifice. However, they do work sufficiently well, or at least they worked for me.

Treatment Option 1: Become a KSP Youtuber

This treatment option will solve stage 4, but it may not stop your obsession with KSP. However it will at least show make you feel that your obsession has a sense of purpose, and is giving others enjoyment.

Treatment Option 2: Limit Your KSP Intake

This Treatment option should cure all symptoms of KOGS. For this treatment option, it is best to limit your KSP intake to 2-3 hours per day. This challenge may be quite hard for some, but it will be worth it.

Treatment Option 3: Quit KSP Cold Turkey

NOTE: THIS TREATMENT OPTION CAN BE QUITE DANGEROUS, AND COULD CAUSE IRREVERSABLE MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES. That being said, it is the only way to completely cure all symptoms of KOGS. And the irreversable mental health issues are not really that bad, and they are worth getting your life back.

These treatment options worked for me, so they can probably work for you. :wink:

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Commissioner Tadpole

Commissioner Tadpole

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I suffered all the way to Stage 3, but instead of Stage 4, I began to feel like KSP is a pointless game, and all you can do is to just go to planets and muns just for the sake of going there, plant a flag and go home, and that setting bases gets boring quickly.

I really want to regain the fun I gathered from KSP weeks ago, but it is just impossible.

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Tidus Klein

Tidus Klein

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Im like stage six,

STAGE-6: The exploitation

The patient has gotten over his/her depression and lack of social life by joining the KSP forums and talking about his/her addictions and problems with fellow patients. The patient has also solved his/her sleep deprivation by allowing the game to run while he/she sleeps and eats knowing that when they wake up they will be ready for a eloo orbital maneuver. Despite the patient knowing KSP is in retrospect, a useless wast of time he/she continues to play do to the addiction set in stage 4 but the patient has learned to harness this addition and gain vast amounts of space, rocket, and aerodynamic knowledge vea other internet sources, The patient then in the future proceeds to become an aerospace engineer for what they call the human space program making real rockets and space flights, all while still contributing time to the game.

There is no cure for stage 6 other then MOAR SCIENCE!

Edited by Tidus Klein
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