The Ballad of Chadmore Kerman - 10 Part Miniseries - COMPLETED

[tntristan12]

"Five! Four! Three! Two! One! Happy New Year!!!"

As the confetti began to blow from dispensers in the nearby rooftops down upon this enormous crowd of spectators gathered in downtown Kersepolis, spheres of fire and light burst in the sky sending a rain of embers into the pristine ocean beyond the space center.

"Those KSC boys really know how to put on a show, don't they?" noted a nearby stranger.

"Yeah, well they have plenty of experience at blowing up their rockets a thousand feet above the launchpad. I wouldn't call this anything groundbreaking." I retorted. The stranger laughed, and I continued to watch the fireworks. Although I would have been content to leave it at that, this was the new year and the opportunity to make new friends outside your corps of new recruits didn't come often outside of these sorts of regular gatherings.

I turned to the stranger and I said "I'm joking, of course. KSC takes its job very seriously. I would know - I'm one of the test pilots."

The stranger smiled. "You? Seriously? I wouldn't have pegged you a day over 21 if it weren't for that drink you were holding in your hand."

"Chadmore's the name. And you're right about my inexperience. Haven't even gone up on my first flight yet, though I've logged more than a few hours in the sim. And what's your name?" I reached out my hand to this new aquaintance. He let it linger for a second.

"Ferdan. Nice to meet you!" We shook hands.

***

The next day I woke up in my dingy apartment, two blocks from where the party started. My head was pounding, though not from the drink so much as lack of sleep. You'd think with all the leave they passed out for the new year celebrations, they'd have the decency to push back the training schedule for this morning... Or maybe the idea was to see how we abused our time off. The training director at KSC was always handing us these subtle challenges, and culling the herd based on the results. "I'll be damned if they get me that way."

The flight suit went on easy. Not having to iron it and straighten it out every time you had to put it on was one of the few things that being a test flight pilot trainee had over being in the Navy. I can still remember wearing dress whites for those blasted dinners where they seemed to serve nothing but marinara and barbecue-heavy dishes. Pure torture!

At least KSC was barely a stonesthrow across the bay, and traffic due to the holiday was very light. I flashed my ID to the guard at the gate and he let me through. Ahead I could see the monolithic vehicle assembly building growing larger with every yard. At its foot was the recruit training facility, where I was handpicked by the suits after my "long and faithful service," which was what they called being discharged after only four months of flying experimental aircraft in the military.

In truth I crashed my last flight, but the details surrounding the aircraft were classified beyond what the KR branch at Munstak Industries could get records access for. All my resume showed was that in those four months, six out of the ten craft I'd flown were deemed passable for the needs of the military and put into production. That had nothing to do with my flying, but perhaps it was just an excuse for KSC to expand its pilot pool - they weren't exactly being picky about applicants.

So here I was, the youngest test pilot admitted to Munstak's pilot corps since Jebediah Kerman entered on the scene nearly two decades ago, and what did they have me doing? Running on treadmills; sitting through jumped up theme park rides; learning which end of a Mk IV-b Extraterrestrial Long-Term Terrain Marker stuck into the ground. Yes I was itching to get back into a flying machine, I just didn't know it would be so soon...

As we filed into the training facility one at a time, I could see a group forming around the mission assignment board. Normally the foyer was desolate as the new trainees packed off to their various exercises and training programs, but today I could barely get to a point where I could see what all the fuss was about. Before I could even get a glimpse at the latest assignments I felt a tap on my shoulder.

"Congratulations Chadmore. Everyone knew you'd be one of the first in our training group to go up, but it's still nice to see it happen!"

"Thanks Dandun! I haven't been to the board yet. Do you know what's going on?"

"Our first mission Chad! You and I, we're both going up on the next test flight!"

"Just us?"

"Well, Ferdred from the last training group is joining us, but he hasn't been up either. If anything, he has it worse than we do. Since training he hasn't been on assignment even once! There's one more slot available that wasn't filled when I checked the board about two hours ago, so maybe one of them will get it." He shrugged his head in the direction of the ever-expanding hoarde surrounding the mission board.

I tried hard to hide my excitement, but it was in vain. Already I could feel a massive smile spreading across my face. Looking down, I regained my composure. "When's the flight?"

"This morning."

"What!?" They gave me leave for new years, told me to take my time getting back to work, and then scheduled me on a flight the very next morning that they didn't tell me about until mere hours before liftoff!? "I'd better go get in my suit!"

Before I could skip off to the preparation facilities, Dan put a hand on my shoulder and put his head mere inches away from mine, his own eyes positively glowing with excitement. Lowering his voice to a whisper, he continued "I haven't even told you the best part, Chad... They... They're coming back."

I was confused. "Who, Dan? Who's coming back?"

"W-Who's coming back...? The original three, that's who!"

Edited January 3, 2014 by tntristan12

[tntristan12]

I was stunned. "Surely you can't mean... Dan, they must be in their fourties by now."

"Yes, they're getting up there. But Munstak's been in desperate need for some PR. Ever since that debacle with the fuel lines on the Mun... We haven't even been past LKO in 15 years! The old satellites have all gotten worn down due to exposure, and most had to be de-orbited or blown up to save costs. For all intents and purposes, this space program is starting from scratch. Even the old designs have been turned into museum pieces and the brains over at R&D are turning out new contraptions every month. Seeing Bill, Bob, and Jeb get back into the pilots' chairs will be just the photo op that Munstak needs to build public support, and when that happens who knows where we'll go next!?"

"You're probably right. No sense to dwelling in the past or speculating about the future. I want to know about this mission!"

"Right, well... I don't know everything about it. I'm in the same boat as you in that regard. From what I know, it's a new shuttle they're developing with a crew of seven. There's the three pilots, and those'll be-"

"-Yes, go on?"

"And then the four of us... Well, the two of us, plus Fredred, and the slot that was still available. We don't have a whole lot of responsibility, but if anything happens up there we'll have to act just as fast as the pilots."

"'Not a lot of responsibility'? What does that mean? We're essentially... cargo?" How disappointing.

"Well, it sounds like the ship is going to be a crew shuttle using those new engines that R&D turned out. 'SABRE' or something like that."

"Nah, I think they're called 'RAPIER.' Something about SABRE sounding 'too science-fictiony.' Read about them in the Kersepolis Times. That's interesting though... If Munstak's playing around with RAPIERs, then maybe they're testing a new SSTO?" Ever since exploration of the Mun ended 15 years ago, KSC has been going for reusability over modularity. It made sense that they would want to design a ship that could make orbit and return on a single stage, but the dangers were obvious and many... "If they are, and it does work it'd be the first of its kind. The videos from previous test flights still haunt me."

"Nah, man it's okay. The technology's really improved since then. What's the worst that could-umph! Hey, why'd you just elbow me?"

"You were just about to say the six words that you never say in test flying. Don't do it again!" The look on his face was priceless. You could almost tell that he knew I was being dead serious.

The suits hadn't changed much since the begining of the space program. They could be donned entirely by one individual, and all the seals were closed and opened manually. There wasn't much in the way of safeguards in place to keep an astronaut from, say unlocking the seal on his helmet in vacuum (though nobody has yet to try). Still, if left alone the seals would hold for years without any maintenance, making them incredibly useful for long term missions like the ones Munstak planned for Duna after the Mun missions ended. The life support was extensive too, and portable carbon scrubbers would keep the wearer alive and supplied with oxygen for over a day if separated from the main craft, meaning a rescue mission could be mounted to save you if for some reason you found yourself separated. The EMUs were invaluable too, but I hadn't had much opportunity to train on those outside of the sim.

Within the hour I was donned and ready to go. We'd attend the mission briefing in full gear (minus helmets of course), and before we could even say goodbye to the dirt we were standing on we'd be heading up into the sky on a pillar of light and smoke. I found the auditorium where us, the pilots, the mission planners, and the craft engineers would be crammed into for thirty minutes or so as every facet of the mission was covered in arduous detail. As luck would have it, I was one of the first to arrive, meaning I could spend the next few minutes getting to know the other crew and, hopefully, getting to meet the pilots.

There was no such luck on that front, but I did get to say hello to Ferdred - a bitter son of a gun, that one. The lull between finishing training and getting picked for the mission was not fun for him, and he was the type of alpha-male personalities who would take it out on everyone else. If I ever ended up going to the Mun I would not want to be sitting in a capsule with him.

Then Dandun greeted me again, and continued to gush about how excited he was. I couldn't blame him either. We spent a couple of minutes discussing our pilots, and their fantastic mission records.

I was checking my boot seals when I saw the third crew member walk up and stick out his hand. "Nice to see ya again, kid."

"Kid? Wha-" As I stood up I could see who I was talking to. "-Ferdan!? Since when have you been a trainee?"

"I was one of the first astronauts they brought on after reopening mission control. You'd never have met me until this mission if it weren't for last night. Impressive the way you packed away that champagne by the way."

"But... I, uh... Why didn't you say anything?"

"Who wants to talk shop on a holiday, kid?"

"Kid? Why do you keep calling me that?"

"One day, I'll tell you. New recruits: You're all kids to me. Right now though, we have a mission briefing to attend. See you on the pad."

There wasn't much of a briefing at that. This was a PR mission designed to prove the viability of a Single Stage To Orbit (SSTO) rocket using the new RAPIERs developed by R&D. A crew of 7 would be loaded in with a month's worth of supplies for a space station holding a crew of 8, in order to simulate the weight that the spacecraft would be required to handle during an actual resupply mission to a space station that, as yet, existed only as separarate payloads floating aimlessly through orbit. Once this mission was deemed a success, however, they would be brought together to form a new command, control, and refueling depot called 'Halcyon Point,' which was a very cheesy name in my opinion. I'll just stick with the official name, Fuel Depot Ke-01.

The ship was the Crew to Orbit Transfer Shuttle Mk. IV-d4, or COTS for short. COTS itself was a dainty looking thing, with four engine pods arranged in a plus-shaped configuration. Each pod was adorned with two high speed air intakes and a single RAPIER engine, which looked rather unimpressive shrouded as it was. There were four landing legs that looked to be made from match sticks, and I had no idea how it would hold up on an actual landing.

There were no reporters for us. No fanfare, nor any awaiting crowd cheering hopefully for our success. The only documentation of this mission was being collected by approved media personnel. In the event of critical mission failure, Munstak would want the footage tightly controlled. While I was thoroughly flattered by the consideration, I couldn't help but agree with the strategy. The pilots had already boarded by the time we got there, but the ladder was down so we climbed up and into the crew cabin just below the command module.

Once on board I heard Ferdan say aloud "so far, I'm not impressed." I would have disagreed with him on principle, except I didn't actually disagree. Still, I kept silent.

As he was buckling into his seat, Dandun noted that the view outside the window was actually pretty nice. "At least they afforded us that consideration!"

Ferdred piped in next. "Say what you want, but I'm not here for the view. Do you know that we'll be the first kerbals in orbit for over 10 years? Yet nobody is around to watch us go... Doesn't that strike you as odd?"

"If we go up in a fiery ball of death," I said "it seems as though Munstak would rather this mission never happened." Nobody spoke after that. Their faces all acknowledged the truth that there was no such thing as a routine mission to space. After a moment or two of uncomfortable silence, the intercom crackled to life:

"Good morning! Good morning! Good morning! This is your pilot, Jebediah Kerman speaking. Copilots Bill and Bob are with me here in the cockpit. I'm sorry that we never had the chance to get introduced, but there will be plenty of time for celebration once this mission is over. I know you've all been briefed, so let's begin..."

[tntristan12]

As the countdown wound to zero, I could feel the engines going before I heard them. Then, the loud rumble began and penetrated everything. Not even my thoughts were spared. "IT'S SO LOUD!!!" I could barely hear myself shouting.

"GIVE IT A MINUTE! THE REVERB WILL GO AWAY ONCE WE'RE IN THE UPPER ATMOSPHERE!" I was reading Ferdan's lips more than I was listening to his words. Suddenly I felt the acceleration build as the ship's engines spooled to maximum power and out the window I saw us begin to rise.

The cacophony did yield somewhat as we rose. I could hear Bob over the intercom announcing that we've passed 1,000 meters. Then it was 2,000 meters. Then 3, then 4, then 5. Then he stopped counting until we reached 10 kilometers above Kerbin when I felt the craft pitch sharply. My head knew it was just the turn to begin burning downrange, but my gut registered something else entirely. "Oh god..." I could feel myself muttering. "I think I'm gonna hurl." Thankfully nobody heard me.

We were crossing 18 kilometers when I heard Jebediah shouting through the intercom "Whooo! Look at this baby go! The engines are still going, isn't this amazing!?" That instant when I remembered that our pilots had no more experience inside this craft than we had was paralyzing. To make matters worse I could hear Bill and Bob arguing over where the cutoff threshold for the switch to closed cycle should take place.

Perhaps Jebediah should have listened better...

There was a shudder and a start, then a loud bang! Through the window I saw the world turn sideways, then I felt gravity come rushing back as I was pressed against the wall of the crew module. The engines were starting and stopping and sputtering and popping, all in no particular order or fashion, and then with a loud ripping sound that could only be the shearing of metal from metal, I stopped hearing the engines altogether...

"We've lost the engines!" I heard Dandun shout.

"Which ones?" Ferdred asked.

"ALL OF THEM!"

The tumbling slowed as the atmosphere thickened and drag pushed us towards the back end of the spacecraft. "Come on you magnificent *******!" Jeb must have forgotten to turn off the intercom. "****! Just lost pod one!" Out the window I could see it pulling away, carried by an invisible force that wants to crush us alive. "SAS isn't responding at this rate of rotation! We need to slow down!"

"Deploy the chutes!" I heard Bill yell.

"No! At this rate they'll be ripped away!" Bob countered.

"At this rate, if we don't deploy them, we'll slam into the ocean at 450 miles per hour. I'm doing it!"

And with that the world snapped back into focus, just as I slammed forward in my seat. But only for a moment it looked like everything was going to be okay, then the pod shuddered again and suddenly I was dangling from the ceiling in my chair.

"Dammit! We lost chutes one and two!"

"I'd hate to say I told you so but-"

"SHUT UP, BOB!" Jeb and Bill shouted in unison.

"Shift the fuel to compensate for the change in weight!"

"Dammit Bill, we don't have anything to shift the fuel to and we're dropping like a stone here with only four chutes! COTS was never designed to handle an unpowered landing!"

"Well she's going to have to now!"

"Then dump the fuel, dump the RCS, dump everything!"

The world spun as we dropped. Through my little window I could see the chutes tangling as they tried to wrest the spacecraft back under control. Throughout all of this I wasn't thinking about how painful it would be to die this way, but rather overtaken by the irony of being done in by my very first mission. Would anybody even know? Would this mission ever see the light of day? Would my family... No. We're slowing down, can't you see that? Look...

I was so lost in my thoughts that I forgot for a moment that my eyes were closed. When I opened them I saw that all four remaining chutes above had opened fully. I couldn't know for certain, but it looked like h-dot had slowed to a little under 30 feet per second. But was it enough? As long as those chutes stayed deployed, we'd have a chance at getting out of this alive.

No sooner had I thought that had I heard the snapping of the lines. One by one, the chutes popped off like rubber bands being pulled past the breaking point. **** I thought COTS can't land on four chutes...

We hit the deck going nearly 100 miles per hour. The landing legs, deployed in the hopes of breaking our fall buckled first. At this speed the water might as well have been made out of concrete. The lower tanks caved in next - in the split second after impact I could hear them being crushed like a tin can under the weight of a mountain. Then the floor rose up, holes opening as big as the world to let the water come through. Another moment past that, imperceptible as it was, and I could feel my bones crush as the unstoppable force met the immoveable object.

My breath escaped me, and my world turned blue. Suddenly I was thinking about the pain, and then I realized there was none. It wasn't there... I was floating outside of my body, looking down on the sinking wreckage of the ship, bubbles all around it. As the ocean swallowed my tomb, I gazed up to the stars I would never see again. To space, where I would never set foot. I reached out to touch it, and suddenly the universe rushed inward to a ball on the tip of my finger, and everything was black...

[tntristan12]

Our lives are not our own.

The black consumed everything. For a moment I wondered how I could even perceive something that was not there, but then the light at the end of my finger spread across all things and I realized that I was no longer alone. Dandun, Ferdred, Ferdan... They were all there, staring at me.

"Hey kid. We lost you for a second there. Must have blacked out from the G's. Are you sure you're cut out for this line of work?"

I mustered the strength to grumble... "Shut up, Ferdan." Four months, doing test flights for the military, and that's not including all the training time I put in... I've never blacked out... Not even once. Then again, I'd never been to space before. "Did we make it?"

Dandun chimed in: "We made it, buddy!"

"Attention all crew, this is Jebediah speaking. We're coming up on circularization now. Make sure you're strapped into your seats!"

My arm still floated out in front of me. With no input it was just staying there... No gravity does strange things to the body. I brought it back and tucked my hand between my bottom and the seat - a simple gesture that made me feel more secure in this strange environment, but also reminded me how little control I had over this environment.

"You missed one hell of a ride, Chadmore." Ferdred chimed in, sounding oddly chipper. Having a mission now must have been doing wonders for him, he was actually smiling.

"You'll have to tell me all about it."

"Not much to tell. Just, the experience. You know?"

"Well I'm glad you got to experience it Ferdred. You needed it more than I."

"Heh, I suppose I did. Being grounded for two months with nothing to do takes its toll on you after a while. At least you two never had to worry about that. You can call me 'Red' by the way. It's the nickname they gave me in training. Kinda grew on me."

I might have to re-evaluate how I feel about this guy. I thought, and maybe if Ferdred could come around, I could decypher Ferdan as well? "How about you Ferdan? How was the launch on you?"

"Kid... You're fooling yourself if you thought this was my first time."

"Fair enough." Asshole.

"Circularization complete!" crackled the intercom.

"That's funny. I hardly noticed."

"Bill here! It looks like we timed our launch perfectly. We've arrived at our destination a full orbit ahead of schedule!"

"Our destin... What?"

"Gentlemen... Welcome to Halcyon Point!"

[KittyProgram]

Continue this! Now! Or I kill you!

[tntristan12]

"How is this possible?" Demanded Dandun of the disembodied voices streaming through the intercom.

He wouldn't get any answers there. "It's no use Dan. That intercom only goes one way... Ferdan. Why don't you tell us what's going on?"

"What makes you think I know anything about-"

"-Cut the crap, Ferd. It's written on your face, the way you talk down to us, the way you smirk when we squirm. You knew this wasn't just a test flight. You were the fourth man, weren't you?"

"Yes. You don't get any points for that one Chadmore. The information surrounding my induction into the program was declassified years ago. I just prefer to keep it under wraps."

"Keep what under wraps? Who is this guy, Chad?"

"Go ahead and tell him."

"15 years ago - The last Mun mission before the suspension of all operations. Bill, Bob, and Jebediah - our pilots today - were sent out on a mission that ran into some problems. Some say it was sabotage, others say it was simple oversight. One way or another, the ascent stage of the lander failed to ignite its engine. It turns out the fuel lines connecting the tanks to the engine were severed, i.e. intentionally."

Dandun looked confused. "How do you know about this? You must've been five when this was happening!"

"It wasn't classified. Everybody in the world knew about this at the time, but the information was surpressed over the years that followed. Accounts of what happened became next to impossible to find in any of the textbooks and schools never taught about it in any of their history courses. Eventually it was like the mission never happened."

"Okay... But how do you know? We're of an age, you and I. I should know this too."

There were some bad memories left untapped. I suppose there wasn't really much use in hiding it, but then again Dan didn't need to know everything, did he? "My father was involved in the design of that spacecraft. He never forgot what happened, and never let it go. His responsibility was the lander, and when something goes wrong with your baby you never forget it... Not ever... No matter what the textbooks say."

Ferdan smiled. "Tell them what happened next."

"Accounts vary. The most popular version of the story is that Bob, who was in the command module at the time returned from Kerbin with a ship containing a state of the art autopilot system. "Mechanical Jebediah" they called it. From the Command Module, Bob was able to remotely oversee the landing and take over if anything went wrong. Nothing did. The lander touched down, Bill and Jebediah came back home, and were celebrated as heroes one final time. Then, the space program ended and we haven't been beyond LKO in the last ten years, yadda yadda yadda."

"Okay, so what does Ferdan have to do with any of this?"

"There was a... contingency... In case either Jebediah or Bill failed to return from the mission. Some extra room was carved out in the command module for a fourth passenger. One that nobody knew about... He..."

"I was a stand in. In case one of them didn't come back. But they did come back, so Munstak Industries just wrote up an article explaining my role as the "mission contingency planner" to shut up the conspiracy theorists, and released it. Declassifying the whole story. What I want to know is how you figured me out."

Ferdan and I locked stares. We each knew what the other was thinking, but how much could I say? In space, nobody could protect me from him. "It was obvious that you've been on missions before. Honestly could've been anyone. Any pilot from any of the missions KSC had ever run... But it takes a certain kind of kerbal to know the unknowable. Nobody could completely mask your utter lack of surprise upon seeing a completed space station - one that Munstak must have been keeping secret for years... I knew beyond the shadow of a doubt after that... You knew about this station. You were added to the crew to oversee this mission, to some greater purpose. But what is that purpose? Why don't you tell us?"

Nobody said a word for what felt like hours. You could cut the tension in the room with a knife, and I knew from the amused look in Ferdan's eye that I had just stepped into a web of lies. Where did these threads all lead? Did they end with him? Why were we here, at a station nobody knew about, on a routine mission that appeared to all the world to be a simple flight test of a new spacecraft? I knew I would get no answers from asking questions, so I decided then and there that it would be for the best if I just let events unfold.

"This is Jebediah Kerman speaking. We have capture and hard dock. Stand by for seal pressurization, and opening of the hatch!"

[tntristan12]

"Hatch one is open. Bill, Bob, and I are egressing to the station. We'll be checking all systems in the Laboratory module, then open hatch two once we confirm all systems are go."

It took the hatch clicking open for me to realize that I had not once broken eye contact with Ferdan. "Perhaps we should get moving" he suggested. "Dandun and Ferdred will take habitat B, and Chadmore and I will take habitat A. The pilots can decide who stays where once they're done checking the station's systems."

"Um, Ferdan? Are you sure that's a good idea? I mean, you and Chad haven't exactly been-"

"-No, it's fine Dan. Ferdan and I will take hab A." Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer. I didn't even know if Ferdan was the enemy yet, but I wouldn't find out if I didn't keep a close eye on him. He probably felt similar.

The hatch to habitat A opened slowly, and inside I could smell the stale air that had only just begun circulating through the air recycling system after god knows how long. Wordlessly we floated through the door. The cots were bolted to the wall, with flaps that zipped shut to secure you as you slept. At the "bottom" of the module was what could only be described as one of the strangest contraptions I had ever seen appointed to the task of removing bodily waste. I knew eventually we would have to get acquainted, but for now I had more pressing issues to worry about.

"Okay. Dan and Red aren't here. You know what's going on. Tell me, and I promise I will help this mission go smoothly."

"I'm afraid I'm not at liberty to say" intoned Ferdan.

"What does that even mean!? Why are we here if we can't even know why?"

"Because it's your job. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to help Bill, Bob, and Jeb get this station in ship shape. When the time comes, you'll be getting your orders and you'll be expected to carry them out. Period."

"And we will... I just want to know what we're getting ourselves into."

"When the time comes, you will."

***

I found myself asleep in one of the cots when Dandun came floating through the open hatch to wake me. "Hey buddy" he said. "I guess we'll get to relax a bit now that we're on our way around the world. At least until mischief, mystery, and mayhem get out of the lab and tell us what we're really doing here. Am I right?"'

I honestly didn't know. "Beats me!" I did my best to sound chipper so that I wouldn't bring down the morale of the entire crew.

"Yeah. Hey man, there's DVDs in the common area, if you want. They've got lots of good stuff. Wanna see?"

"Sure thing."

The DVD selection was ****, and we didn't even know how long we were going to be here. Maybe in time I would come around to embracing Dandun's taste in movies. The screen wasn't very big, and the quality was awful, but it was better than nothing.

We got halfway through "My Love is Stuck on Eve" when the hatch behind us opened and Ferdan came climbing out. "Okay guys. An assignment just came in from mission control. We're going on EVA to check the outer hull for micrometeorite damage. Everyone's suited up, right?"

"Wait, wait, wait. All of us are going on EVA?" asked Ferdred.

"No. Just you. Chadmore and I are going to supervise and observe through your helmet cam, and Dandun is going to stand by in the airlock in case we need to come out and get you for whatever reason."

"What about those three down there?" I gestured vaguely in the direction of the laboratory module. "Do they plan on participating in this mission at all!?"

"Our pilots are down in the empty fuel tanks, where our stay's supplies are being held in the interrim. They're taking inventory, which is very important for our long-term survival here. Okay, everybody get ready!"

"Hey, who appointed you the leader of this operation? You came up in the crew module just like the rest of us!"

"Yes, Chadmore... But I was the one who received the orders from KSC, so I'm the one relaying them." He looked to Ferdred "Okay kid. Get your helmet on. You're going outside..."

[jchad]

Moar. NAOOO!

[KittyProgram]

Nooooow!!!!!!!!!

[tntristan12]

Lol. Glad people like it! It's coming, don't worry.

[tntristan12]

"Okay, I'm stepping out of the airlock now. Activating EMU." Ferdred's voice was coming in tinny over the radio in the common area, but the nervousness there was undeniable. "Okay, I'm turning around... Airlock frame looks good. So does the outside of Hab B. Lab module looks good. No immediately apparent sign of degredation. Maneuvering for closer inspection now..."

"Negative, Ferdred. I want you to check the solar panel booms and docking ports." Ferdan looked impatient. Like this was something he wanted to end quickly. "Maneuver farther out and let me know what you find."

"Okay. Maneuvering... Hmmm. the last panel on boom B looks dinged at one end, but should still be functional. The docking ports look functional, though it's hard to tell from the exterior if the electromagnets still work."

"Okay, now maneuver around and check the other side. You'll be moving in the sun so make sure your visor is down."

"Roger that."

Ferdan put down the mic and gestured to me. "Bring me his vitals readout. I want to make sure he's doing okay out there."

"Of course, but why wouldn't he be okay?"

"It's his first time out there. He might be a little nervous."

A few minutes later, Ferdred came back on over the radio and confirmed his new position. Ferdan muttered something: "Now, the real test begins..." Then... He smirked at me... Like I wasn't supposed to hear, except he knew I could but didn't care. I didn't like that look... Before I could dwell on it further, Ferdan picked up the radio and continued. "Change of plans, Ferdred. I want you to maneuver out to 100 meters and view the entire station. Tell me what you see."

"Uh. Roger but... I'm not sure why you want me to-"

"-Just do it." Setting the radio down, he reached for the intercom. If I'd known what would happen next I would have stopped him, but I didn't... "MechJeb. Initiate protocol 6-2-7. This is the test phase of phoenix unit 1-4-3."

In perfect unison, Bill, Bob, and Jebediah responded: "Understood, sir. Initiating protocol 6-2-7."

My gut did a turn. I felt nauseous, but I froze. On some level I was curious... I wanted to know more, but this didn't seem like me... Why wasn't I doing anything. Why aren't I doing anything?

"I'm out at 100 meters, but why did you... Oh, hold on. I'm getting a readout here from my suit. It says... Coolant systems malfunctioning, but..."

Ferdan slapped my shoulder, pulling me from my trance. "Quick Chadmore, tell me what his suit readout says."

Almost mechanically I fumbled... "It says..." Just call off the EVA. Radio KSC, and tell them we're coming back home. Just... "All systems nominal. Cooling system is just fine... Sir." Why did I say that? Why did I just call him sir?

"Fascinating..." Picking up the radio. "1-4-3... Sorry. Ferdred, maneuver out to 200 meters."

"My suit temperature's still increasing. I'm coming back!"

Dandun was the one who spoke up. "I don't like this. I'm going out to get him. Proceeding to airlock now."

"NO!!!" Ferdan closed the airlock door manually from his station. "This test ends when I say it ends! You will hold your station. Actually, I see an opportunity here for further testing. Chadmore. Deactivate Dandun's life support."

Dandun spoke. Not me. I stayed silent... "WHAT!?" I could hear the fear in his voice.

"You heard me Chadmore. Terminate 1-4-2. I haven't tested the cognitive reupload systems for asphyxiation yet."

You're insane... "That sounds reasonable to me." No. "Mechjeb." Chadmore, what are you doing!? "T..."

"Go on."

"T-Terminate life support st-status of..." STOP!!! "Terminate life support status of phoenix unit 1-4-2. NO!!!

"Order confirmed. Deactivating..."

"FERDAN! CHADMORE! WHAT THE *cough cough* WHAT... *cough* What the........... why?"

MechJeb came back on over the intercom "Unit 1-4-2 deactivated. Processing unit 1-5-2 at KSC. Designation 'Dandun.' Approximate time to activation - 9 months, and 22 days."

"Very good, Jeb. Thank you. Now... Where were we?"

[jchad]

Aaaarrrrrrgggggg!!!!!!!! This is so suspenseful!!!

[tntristan12]

Ferdred called out over the radio. "Guys, I really need some help here! Please help me!" Abandonment.

"Just hang on. We're sending Dandun soon to come get you!" Lies. "Quick! Tell me what you're feeling!"

"What!?" Disbelief.

"Tell me everything, now! That's an order!" Authority. I registered everything. I saw everything. I objected to everything. I said nothing.

"I'm on fire here! Can't you see? My suit... It says it's rupturing! I'm burning up! I'm burning alive out here! Come get me!" Desperation.

"Chadmore, quick. Tell me what his readout's saying."

"All systems nominal." Obedience...

"This is truly fascinating... The cognative playback is triggered by replicating experiences with absolutely no bio-feedback. It's as if his mind truly wants him to believe he's burning alive to reconcile the difference between reality and expectation... This problem is far more difficult to tackle than I realized. But I wonder... MechJeb. Terminate suit readout for unit 1-4-3!"

Ferdan grabbed the radio, quick as lightning. "Okay, Ferdred. I need you to listen to me. You are fine. Your suit is fine. There is no rupture. There is no pain, this is all in your head! I need you to come back to me, now."

"HELP! I'm burning! Oh god, it burns. It burns so much, make it stop, make it stop!!!"

"Ferdred, listen to me! You are not burning up. Repeat, you are not burning up. Your suit reads 19 degrees celsius! Check your readout again!"

"MY SKIN! I CAN'T... HELP ME!!!"

"Dammit! He's stuck in a cognative playback. I can't do anything from this end until the playback terminates. We'll have to go get him. MechJeb: Eject 1-4-2 from the airlock and repressurize. I'm going out to get him."

"OH GOD! I'M BURNING! I'M-" Ferdan terminated the signal.

MechJeb came back on the intercom. "1-4-2 ejected. Airlock pressurized."

"Good work MechJeb. This concludes the execution of protocol 6-2-7. Resume standby operations." He turned to me. "That test went about as well as it could have gone, wouldn't you say?"

***

The cot was warm, and comfortable until I turned in my sleep and banged my head on the wall. "Ouch! Damn this station..."

"You okay, kid?"

"Yeah. Thanks. God, a week on this thing and I still can't get comfortable. There's something weird about this place."

"Yeah, well don't let it get to your head." It's all in your head.

"I hear you. Hey, how's Ferdred doing? He hasn't been talking much since he passed out on that first EVA."

"Why don't you ask him yourself?"

"You think I haven't? Like I said, he hasn't been talking much. It's been a week. I think if he'd had much to say he'd have said it by now."

"Well, it does get pretty lonely up here. Just the three of us, after the pilots left on the COTS. They'll be back in another week for resupply though, then things will get a bit more lively around here, I'm sure!"

"Yeah, I'm sure you're right. I'll go check on him to see how he's doing."

I unzipped myself from the cot and floated over through the common area to Hab B, where Ferdred was strapped into his cot staring at the far side of the module. "Hey man, are you okay?"

"..."

"Look man. It was your first time on EVA. There's no shame in what happened. 'No harm, no foul' right?"

"..."

I sighed. There was only so much encouragement you could dish out in a week before you started repeating yourself, and if I stayed in that room any longer I would have been doing just that. "You're fine, man. Just... Take your time and get better."

"..."

I turned to push myself out of the habitat, when I heard him mutter: "burn... ing..." I'M BURNING! HELP ME! Cringing, I turned back. "What did you just say...?"

The look he gave me was one of utter desperation. I would never forget it in my entire life... "Burning," he repeated. Then I remembered...

Edited January 2, 2014 by tntristan12

[KittyProgram]

More more more NOOOOW!

[tntristan12]

All I could see was red. All I could hear was my own heart pumping hot blood. That's why we've been here, this whole time... How many times has he... I looked up into Habitat A where Ferdan was floating with his arms folded... Thinking. Thinking of ways to experiment with us. Thinking of ways to torture us!

I grabbed the opening of the docking port and flew through. "Hey Ferdan!" The second he looked at me, I punched him. I punched him again after that. Then again. Then again. Then again. "YOU! SON! OF A *****!" He grunted but said nothing. His eyes closed momentarily, but when they reopened it was the same stare I'd come to expect. The same toying, manipulative, venomous glare...

"So, you figured it out."

I punched him again.

"Go ahead and hit me! It doesn't make any difference. Our work here is bigger than this - the two of us fighting here."

I punched him again. He spat out blood.

"You think you took me by surprise, didn't you? Now the real test begins!"

I didn't punch him. Why didn't I punch him?

"Oh, you're confused? I thought you figured out everything! Clearly not..."

What...

"Let me spell it out for you. Hit yourself."

I punched myself in the jaw as hard as I possibly could.

"Get it now? Hit yourself again."

I wanted to disobey, but my body just went with it. Now I was spitting up blood.

"I can see it in your eyes. I own you, and you know I own you... But I don't own your thoughts. Tell me what you're thinking, now."

You're insane! "You're insane!" My mouth spoke the words I didn't want to.

"Interesting. The conditioning seems to work on bodily functions. I can make you do anything I want you to. I could make you get in the airlock with no space suit. I could make you strangle yourself unconscious. I could make you stop eating and die of starvation. A kerbal with no sense of will, no self preservation, who blindly follows every order he's given. Would this not be the holy grail of any business, or military, or space program? Think of the leaps and bounds we'd make in science if our subjects didn't object! But clearly the conditioning only goes skin deep. More testing is necessary on you, 1-4-1..."

"What are you tal-"

"-quiet! You thought we selected you for this program because of your experience flying jets for four months? We've used trained monkeys with more qualifications than that! It was all so convenient how you got here, wasn't it? A daddy who beat you because he never could forget his own failures, which drove you into the military to get away... To seek the power you never had. And that brought you right to us... You never had to work hard a day in your life, and you just ended up on the first mission in 15 years? Let me tell you something... We never stopped. We just tested, and built, and continued.

We have colonies on every world in this solar system and you never knew about a single one of them because we never wanted you to. Our work here at Halcyon Point has been invaluable in creating willing subjects to fly our rockets. To go on our suicide missions. To go land on other worlds and never come back! You never question. You never wonder. You never fight. And each time you die your memories and experiences are uploaded into the subconscious of the next clone that we make of you, so you're that much better at what you do. THAT is the legacy of Halcyon Point!"

You used us... "Bill..."

He hit me. "Shut up! Did I say you could talk? Clearly the conditioning isn't perfect! Yes, Bill died up there, 15 years ago. So did Jebediah. I made sure that their bodies went to a useful purpose... They were the first and second subjects, and Bob knew too much... So he became the third. They never came back from the Mun, but their legacies are so much greater now! We could never have expanded to other worlds if we never utilized them to their fullest potential."

You... You "kept" us ignorant... "Blind..."

"What was that?"

He may have been able to control my body, but he could never control the rage I felt in that moment... "You... kept us... blind... You used us..." My hands twitched. "YOU USED US!" I grabbed the wall and hurled myself at him, fists flying in a blind rage. "We're experiments to you! We're Kerbals! We think!" Punch him. "We feel!" Hurt him. "We breath!" Kill him. "You slaughtered us for science... You ****ing monster! This experiment ends today!"

"This experiment ends WHEN I SAY IT ENDS!" He shoved off of the bulkhead and piled into me. My head hit the hatchway into the common area. He tumbled past me, pulling me through the doorway with him, hitting me in the chest and stomach. I kicked out for him, but struck a nearby supply bag. DVDs and snacks went flying everywhere. "What do you think is going to happen here!? You're just going to beat me until I die? Until you win? I can kill you with a word!"

"Then why don't you!?"

"MechJeb!"

"Awaiting orders."

"Terminate-"

"-Halcyon Point!" I shouted.

"What!? No. Countermand that order!"

"Terminate Halcyon Point!" I shouted again.

"Initiating..."

"MechJeb! Do not listen to that order. Countermand!"

We locked stares. "You gave me access to MechJeb's orders. I remember because you used me to kill Dandun... Now I'm going to use it to end this whole messed up enterprise. You have hubris old man, and in your hubris you have failed."

"Anything you say, I will countermand... And anything I say, you will countermand... It looks like we're at a stalemate."

"Not exactly..."

MechJeb crackled on over the intercom "Self destruct sequence activated. Locking voice command protocols. Initiating self destruct in 60. 59. 58. 57-"

"****... What have you done!? How!?"

"Look behind you..." He did... Ferdred met his gaze. Eyes locked, he smiled a knowing smile then closed his eyes.

"Your 'cognative playback' killed him, but it never defeated him..."

"40. 39. 38. 37-"

[tntristan12]

"Dammit! This isn't over... The station's habitats are still functioning escape pods. Enjoy your fiery death, Chadmore." Ferdan turned in place and pulled himself into Habitat A.

"I'm not going that easily!" I tossed myself after him and rammed into his back. The two of us went tumbling end over end to the far end. "We're going down together! And your life's work with you!"

"Get off me!" He pushed me into the bulkhead but I would not let go of his suit. "There's no time!"

"28. 27. 26. 25-"

"**** you, and **** your time. Yours is over, old man!"

"No... No it isn't!" With one hand he managed to unlatch the emergency escape button, but couldn't quite reach to press it.

"You were my favorite subject Chadmore! I always saved the very best procedures and experiments for you. Oh the times I've made you scream..."

"SHUT UP!" He kicked my hand and for a second I let go. It was all the time he needed. With one hand he pressed the emergency escape button, and with the other he rebounded to the far wall. I turned just in time for him to double-kick me through the hatch, as it was closing.

I grabbed the inner edge of the hatch, and with my hands blocking the way it wouldn't close. "Hatch obstructed. Emergency escape protocol terminated."

"Damn you Chadmore. You've always been one of the more rambuctious subjects. Always asking questions beyond your station... That's why I installed the behavioral conditioning. Your last clone was more obedient than you though. Whatever I've done since then, I'm going to have to eliminate you and start over!" He peeled of his suit glove and tossed it at the button.

"Detonation in 15 seconds. 14. 13. 12-"

"You're wrong. This ends now!" With all my strength I heaved for the flying glove, but for only a few inches I failed to stop it. Slamming into the button, the hatch closed with a loud thud.

"Initiating emergency escape protocols."

"Detonation in 10. 9. 8. 7."

There was a rumble as the habitat detatched from the station and the engines fired to maximum power. Through the hatch window I could see the station silently burst into a fiery ball of expanding shrapnel and gasses. Good. That place is done for... Then my head slammed into the bulkhead.

"You miserable excuse for a kerbal." He once more slammed me into the bulkhead with his feet, hammering my head into hatch. "You were such a disappointment you know that? You showed so much promise during the last experiment. I'm going to have to take you back to KSC dissect you myself!"

He tried to kick again but I turned around and grabbed his foot before he could. With a heave I slammed him into the bulkhead. "You'll have a hard time with that if you're dead!" Through the window I could see flames overtaking the hull. "We're never going to survive this landing!" Next to me was the manual override pannel. "A single button press to manually begin the landing procedure. That's all it would take!"

Ferdan froze. "You wouldn't dare..."

"If I was still under your control, you'd be right." I pressed the button.

"NO!" The ship jerked as the drogue chutes deployed, but were immediately ripped away. Gravity came rushing back as the ship caught in the thicker layers of the atmosphere, and the two of us went tumbling down to th bottom of the pod. "You... You failure! This doesn't end with me!"

"Keep talking. That's all you have now." There was another thud as the engine pods separated from the body of the habitat. "The computer thinks we're landing, but we're still in the upper atmosphere. Once override is initiated, it's done. You're done!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!" Tossing himself on top of me, I could feel his fists pounding into my face, hands, and chest... But it didn't matter. I'd already won.

The main chutes deployed soon after, but were also taken by the slipstream. Altitude was now closing in under 10 kilometers. Just a couple more minutes and we'd be crashing into the ground at 500 miles per hour. Ferdan stopped his assault and looked up to the top end of the pod, then began to laugh.

"What's..." I spit out a gob of blood. "What's so funny... Old man?"

"I just remembered... We've done this before... You and your kind. You kids... You always think you know better. You think you can escape the unending march of science! But science marches on, and with or without us, it will never end... It will never end." And then his chuckle turned into the deranged cackling of a man truly lost to madness. I closed my eyes and turned it out, just listening to the rush of air that passed us by...

And then there was nothing. The world went white but for an instant, then black. I never would know if we came down on land or sea, but it didn't matter. We were gone. Creatures lost to the dark... I embraced the blackness. I had won... I fell into the void, and let it wash over me. My thoughts ended. I ceased to be...

Boom!

What was that?

Boom, boom, BANG! Lights bursting in the distance. Stars fade into view...

"Fireworks..."

"Five!"

"This can't be... But I was just..."

"Four!" More explosions burst into the distance. Beneath them, I see their brilliant reflections cast by the beautiful sea.

"Three!" I am not alone. There are people here. They surround me.

"Two!" But out of the corner of my eye... No, it can't be... You...

"One! Happy New Year!!!"

As the confetti began to blow from dispensers in the nearby rooftops down upon this enormous crowd of spectators gathered in downtown Kersepolis, spheres of fire and light burst in the sky sending a rain of embers into the pristine ocean beyond the space center.

"Those KSC boys really know how to put on a show, don't they?"

That phrase... Those words... They... Wait... What am I doing here? Who are you? You're... You're Ferdan... But you died... I died... We were... Wait, where were we? Who are you? Why did you say those words? I am Chadmore... I am an astronaut...

"Yeah, well they have plenty of experience at blowing up their rockets a thousand feet above the launchpad. I wouldn't call this anything groundbreaking."

I am an astronaut from KSC, training to be one of the first new Kerbals into space for over 15 years.

I turned to the stranger and I said "I'm joking, of course. KSC takes its job very seriously. I would know - I'm one of the test pilots."

The stranger smiled. "You? Seriously? I wouldn't have pegged you a day over 21 if it weren't for that drink you were holding in your hand."

"Chadmore's the name..."

***

THE END

Thanks for all who read and enjoyed this short story. This probably won't be the last you hear from me! For now, that's the Ballad of Chadmore Kerman! Feel free to discuss the story and/or the ethical questions raised here.

[KittyProgram]

*dies of confusion*

Edit: I GET IT! THE SHIP WAS THE FIREWORK! OH MAI GAWD!

[tntristan12]

*dies of confusion*

Edit: I GET IT! THE SHIP WAS THE FIREWORK! OH MAI GAWD!

I like to leave some things open to interpretation, but indeed everything was explained within the story. Remember what Ferdan said about memories and experiences?

[jchad]

Me gusta! Excellent story.

[KSK]

Still trying to get my head around some parts but man - that was an excellent story. Here's hoping it isnt the last we hear from you - I know I'm looking forward to anything else you care to write!

[tntristan12]

Thanks for the kind words! I was going for something that was like "Moon" meets "Shutter Island." I really enjoy psychological thrillers like that. Also I'd just seen "Fight Club," so that influenced me quite a bit.

[Sargent890]

Is it possible we could contact someone like Nassault to make this into a movie. It'd be really cool because this story is sort of similar to Inception.

[KittyProgram]

OH OH OH! It was a dreaaaam!

[tntristan12]

OH OH OH! It was a dreaaaam!

Sort of. This would be more similar to a memory from a past life. When a kerbal is cloned after death, their memories and experiences are telepathically uploaded into them. In this way their instincts and reflexes improve after each iteration, making them better pilots as a result.

Ferdan was experimenting with this clone technology, trying to find the right balance between memory retention and blind obedience which he was enforcing through psychological programming and trigger phrases such as "those boys at KSC sure know how to put on a show" being the phrase that activated Chadmore at the start (and end) of the story.

Sometimes when circumstances are replicated it triggers a cognitive playback in the subject, making them experience past deaths and memories. This happened to Chadmore on the flight to Halcyon Point and to Ferdred when he thought he was burning alive, even though he wasn't.

Really, the experiments conducted by Ferdan on the other kerbals were almost institutionalized torture for the purposes of understanding how cognitive playbacks were triggered and could be controlled to create more skilled, yet blindly obedient test pilots.

In some cases like with Chadmore, memories and ideas (like KSC being inactive for 15 years) are programmed into the kerbal's head to make them more malleable to suggestion, and give them an almost suicidal hunger for danger.

Ultimately when Ferdan and Chadmore are killed, and Halcyon Point is destroyed it doesn't matter. The experiment goes on! There's a heavy indication that Ferdan himself may be a clone as well, programmed to build and self-perpetuate the cloning practices and technology. Even though by the end it seems like all is well, KSC can just unhatch new clones and by the same time next year the cycle begins again!

That is why the story ended where it began. It isnt that it never happened. Just that it happened in a past life, and the implication is that it is going to happen again in the next one.

If it seems despicable and unethical to treat living, breathing, thinking kerbals like guinea pigs just because they were born in a lab, well... That's kind of the point!

Edited January 4, 2014 by tntristan12

[AndrewBCrisp]

An interesting story. It reminded me a lot of "The Tunnel Under the World" by Frederick Pohl, as well as the much shorter (and funnier) story "Testing, 1, 2, 3..." by L. A. Taylor.