(Badum-tss)

[Bigcheecho]

A man walks into a bar.

He falls face-first and gets a nosebleed.

[The Destroyer]

A man walks into a bar.

He falls face-first and gets a nosebleed.

Hilarious! Took awhile to get though.

[AlexinTokyo]

Conversation overheard at a Ukrainian border control point:

Border Guard: Nationality?

Visitor: Russian.

BG: Occupation?

V: No, just visiting.

What does a rocket scientist put on a bagel?

Lox.

Have you noticed that Kerbals have no noses?

- I hadn't. I wonder how they smell.

Terrible!

There are 10 kinds of people in the world, those who understand binary notation and those who don't.

Come back tomorrow, I'm here all week

[KvickFlygarn87]

A bar walks into Einstein. Whoops, wrong frame of reference!

[nerdboy64]

So, everyone knows the good old "two scientists walk into a bar" joke, right? Well, I recently heard an alternate version:

Two scientists walk into a bar.

The first one walks up to the counter and says, "I'll have some H20, please."

The second one says, "No need to be so pretentious about it," and orders a beer like a normal bar customer.

The first scientist curses silently at his failed assassination attempt.

[KOCOUR]

Wanted

Shroedingers Cat

Reward 10 000

Dead or alive!

-----------------------------

Wat, Newton and Pascal are playing hide and seek.

Wat is the seeker.

Pascal runs to hide.

Newton draws a sqare 1meter x 1meter on the ground and stands in to it.

Wat counts to ten and turns.

He sees Newton and yels: "got ya Newton." "Iam not Newton iam Pascal" Newton replyes.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hopefully my terrible english doesnt destroy those jokes.

[RogueMason]

So, everyone knows the good old "two scientists walk into a bar" joke, right? Well, I recently heard an alternate version:

Two scientists walk into a bar.

The first one walks up to the counter and says, "I'll have some H20, please."

The second one says, "No need to be so pretentious about it," and orders a beer like a normal bar customer.

The first scientist curses silently at his failed assassination attempt.

I'm afraid I beat you to that one on the first page, but it is a good one, so I'll let you off

[MarkusA380]

Bus crash. Ten people die. As soon as they arrive at heaven, God grants everyone one wish. The first one asks him: "Make me look beautiful.".

So god makes him beautiful. The others all ask him for the same wish. Except the last one. As he is asked for his wish he is laughing loudly.

God asks him why. He then says: "Make them all ugly again!"

[Red Iron Crown]

Someone: "Whats red, and smells like blue paint?"

Me: "Red paint."

What's brown and sticky?

.

.

A stick.