[AAR] From The Ground Up: The Space Program Of The United Plutonic Federation

[Sylandro]

(Image belongs to Giaru-Orihidero on DeviantArt; rescaled by me to be used as a flag on KSP)

The United Plutonic Federation; a country that borders the eastern coast of the Kayesque (KSC) Penninsula, but it has fallen into obscurity, but; something is striking in the scientific labs of the various universities, and the engineering centers.

Rocket science.

Follow the space program of The United Plutonic Federation to the point of a manned Duna Landing, and trust me; you won't regret it.

CHAPTER PORTAL

Coming Soon!

[Sylandro]

CHAPTER 1: FROM HUMBLE BEGINNINGS...

It was a cold, august afternoon at a military hangar that belonged to the Plutonic Department Of Aerial Defense, a couple of engineers decided to mess with a missile, removing the explosive payload, and adding a small drone, jury-rigged some contraband scientific apparatuses onto it, and added a parachute. They then loaded it onto a transport truck, and drove it to a coastal IBCM launch site.

"Alright;" A hardy voice said. "The launch will begin in ten seconds, so you better keep your distance." That voice belonged to chief executioner of the PDOAD, Jarowa Hamnie. As Jarowa Hamnie stepped back to the nearest safe viewing area, where a small communications array was set up. "A couple of engineers modified a Icarus ballistic missile. I'm going to cut the chat and announce that it'll be launching in five seconds. Keep your distance." Jarowa said, as a couple of Kerbal engineers and scientists exchanged looks at the launch site.

"Gentlemen, we have liftoff."

The modified Icarus IBCM blasted off of the launchpad, soaring greatly throughout the troposphere, various kerbals grabbed their binoculars and tried to keep focus on the soaring IBCM, while a Kerbal was setting inputs for the payload, when to start the gravity turn, and when to separate the stages. Jarowa looked at the IBCM and said: "Boy; she sure flies like a majestic bird-of-prey." A couple of moments later, the SRB stage separated and the only liquid stage began burning; and shortly after, started it's gravity turn.

The scientific instruments started activating, one by one, started recording data on Kerbin's upper atmosphere, and transmitted valuable data to the people operating the small communications area, and shortly later; the stage separated and a short Kerbal named Yetomi Ojin walked up to Jarowa Hamnie, and said. "Sir; next mission, will we send a Kerbal to Kerbin's upper atmosphere?" Jarowa looked at Yetomi, and let out a hardy laugh. "I don't see why not." The liquid stage achieved flame-out and separated the small probe.

The antennae deployed, and started sending out images of Kerbin's curvature, and a couple minutes later, re-entered Kerbin's atmosphere and it's parachute deployed, a couple of meters below the waters of the Gulf of Plutonia, and splash-down.

Success!

[Sylandro]

A sneak-peek at the new chapter:

[kenbobo]

Moar. Moar!!!

[Sylandro]

Moar will be coming next friday!

[Sylandro]

DP: Bump for interest!

[Tw1]

It's alright. At the moment though, there isn't much to make it stand out. Perhaps set up some drama in the next few parts?

Also, you might want to make a few more edits- some of your sentences and words could do with a second look.

For example:

It was a cold, august afternoon at a military hangar that belonged to the Plutonic Department Of Aerial Defense, a couple of engineers decided to mess with a missile, removing the explosive payload, and adding a small drone, jury-rigged some contraband scientific apparatuses onto it, and added a parachute.

A sentence like this would be fine in dialogue, where characters don't always speak clearly, but not as a regular paragraph. There's a lot going on in the one sentence here, and it jumps from establishing time and then setting, to establishing what's going on without a conjunction.

Try:

...military hangar that belonged to the Plutonic Department Of Aerial Defense, where a couple of engineers...

Use "had" when things happened before other things. This is called past perfect tense. For example, the decision to mess with the missile came before they actually did it, so:

...A couple of engineers had decided to mess with a missile...

Use "Which" rather than "that" as the info about how the hanger belongs to the PDAD is extra, and non-critical to the sentence's meaning.

...hangar which belonged to the Plutonic ...

It could be broken up, and rephrased to remove extra words bogging it down:

It was a cold august afternoon at a military hangar which belonged to the Plutonic Department Of Aerial Defense. A couple of engineers had decided to mess with a missile, removing the explosive payload, adding a small drone. They jerry-rigged some contraband scientific apparatus onto it, and added a parachute.

TL,DR: writing is hard. Normally, if something doesn't sound right, it's worth double checking.

Edited May 13, 2014 by Tw1

[Sylandro]

Don't worry, there's going to be alot of drama in the next chapter, and launches!

[Sylandro]

DP: Two days until the release of Chapter 2! All aboard the hype train, everyone.

[Sylandro]

Last screenshot before release:

[Sylandro]

Alright, i lied, but the chapter is coming Soon, and by Soon, i mean next Friday. And really, it's coming out next Friday.

[kenbobo]

Noo. Now or nevar.

[Sylandro]

Noo. Now or nevar.

Be patient, young grasshopper!

Related to this, i finally, finally completed the map of the countries in this AAR! Took me 3-4 days to make.

Going to put that on the main post when i get the time.

[Sylandro]

CHAPTER 2: A SATELLITE INTO ORBIT

A day passed. It was a recordbreaking day for the infant UPFCEP (United Plutonic Federation Celestial Exploration Program), which seemed to be a good name by Jarowa Hamnie's standards. Another modified Icarus 1 IBCM was rolled out, this time, with a tin, windowless command module was bolted on. It reached around mid-afternoon when it finally reached the launchpad.

A small ladder was deployed. And the Plutonic test pilot Jebediah Kerman was supposed to board, but.. He was absent. Instead, back-up test pilot and local braniac Bob Kerman walked to it. "Sir, here's a note from Jeb." Bob said, as he handed a crumpled wad of paper to Jarowa Hamnie. It read: "Sorry if i wasn't here today, i'm too busy watching action movies with my two sons! -Jebediah Geronimo Kerman". Jarowa sighed. "Lazy motherf***er." He said, as he watched Bob board the command module.

"Five minutes until launch. Better get to a safe viewing distance as soon as possible." A voice said. Jarowa and a couple of high-ranking UPAF members walked to a small viewing site.

Five minutes passed by. "T- ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one. Icarus 2 has achieved liftoff."

Bob let out a faint, inaudible scream as the modified IBCM launched, gaining velocity as it ascended. "Everything's running fine, receiving station. Over." Bob said, panicking and gasping for air. "Great. The automated onboard systems should be starting your gravity as you ascend higher. Say hi to my cousin who's vacationing in Agraria as you pass over it. Over." A voice said over on the intercom. "Roger that. Over." Bob said, as he controlled the IBCM, and separated the first stage, and activated the second stage. "I'm doing great. Over." Bob said. "I think i could see the stars from this altitude if this had a window, over." There was a loud hiss and explosion. "Oh, crap! I think the engine just went! O-over!" Bob said, hyperventilating. "Stay calm. Over." The voice on the intercom said. Bob sighed, and he separated the stage, activating the parachutes.

Bob was now thinking to himself. Gee. I would love to see the stars. IF THIS HAD A WINDOW! There was silence over the comms, then the command module entered the atmosphere, re-entry started, making a technical sauna inside the tin command module. Bob was hyperventilating, and he'd most likely die of cerebal hypoxia, if the parachutes wouldn't of have opened.

The command module splashed down. Next mission, if we could send a probe into a sub-orbital trajectory, we could send a probe into orbit. "If you can dodge a truck, then you can dodge a ball."

/--/

Early October, a orbital launch vehicle was made, and christened: "Urania 1".

A group of engineers beckoned Jarowa over too see it.

Jarowa Hamnie's jaw dropped. "Sweet mother of Pluto." He said. A engineer walked over to him. "Tons of power. Can possibly make it into orbit, with fuel left over!" He said. "You got that damn right." Jarowa Hamnie. "Look guys, i'm giving you a week off of work, just because of this.. Beauty. Roll her down to the pad and let her launch." Jarowa Hamnie said, as the engineers sighed and exchanged looks, and high-fived eachother.

The Urania 1 rolled down to the IBCM launch pad. The launch was delayed, but the next day, dozens of Plutonic citizens swarmed to see it. The Kerbals who lived farther away watched the launch on their own televisions.

A female news reporter had a microphone and said. "Aiur Returik, from UPFNN! This day, the Prometheus space probe is launching aboard a Urania 1 launch vehicle! The final seconds are ticking away!" Aiur Returik said, at a safe distance from the exhaust.

There was a loud roaring noise, the Urania 1 has lifted off.

"May Sunstar, bless this launch vehicle and it's payload!"

At the small comms station, a group of scientists and UPAF IBCM launch directors watched the Urania I lifted off, anxiously. Hoping and praying to Sunstar and Terra that the main engine won't have a failure, like in Bob Kerman's suborbital flight. The first staging came shortly after the gravity turn, and the launch directors were gasping in fear of a launch anomaly.

Two minutes later they separated the second stage, the new FLIGHTNAV system onto the liquid booster that would boost Prometheus into orbit kicked on, and time seemed to go slow for the flight directors.

The booster separated, and a mass celebration roared out, the flight directors popped champagne and sparkling lemonade. The first signals from Prometheus kicked to a start, and the individuals at mission control started getting the first scientific signals and data from Prometheus. The Kerbals that watched the launch, were having a feast, inviting their neighbors over, and all that jazz.

--

Phew, that took me a long time to write! Now excuse me as i take a rest from writing.

[Transits]

Can't wait for more of this AAR. It's a good replacement for the grand tour.

[Sylandro]

The new chapter is coming tomorrow!

[Sylandro]

Teaser Screenshot #1:

[Sylandro]

So why are you asking me?

"WHERES CHAPTER THREE"

I'm currently in a bit of a pickle with IRL things, but i have one thing related to this AAR. I updated the world map. I have the file on another computer, though.

[Sylandro]

TP - Here's the new map. Some countries were merged, some were split apart and, the wildernesses are no more.

What the countries are similar to:

Himmeliland: Germany

Tryos: Greece

Suisse: Switzerland

Panem: France

Lababekia: Turkey

Scanad and Oswein: Serbia and Montegro

Nether: The Netherlands

Artica: Russia

Federated Colonies: United Kingdom

Narnia: Italy

Warsaw: Poland (Yes, that means that Warsaw cannot into space.)

North Pacifica: Australia and New Zealand

South Pacifica: Jamaica, Barbados and Brazil

Yaengland: China

Sinnoh: Japan

Quealiomina: Spain

Uri: Portugal

Faesi: South Korea

Koyaanisquatsi: Ukraine

Agraria: Niue

Aaladia: Mexico and Saudi Arabia

Scorpio: Egypt

Lupus: India

Siriu Lupusi: Sri Lanka

South Returia: The United States of America