Battle of Gettysburg, BBT Style

[IcarusBen]

The Northern Forces: The entire Union Army, the entire army of Mordor, from Orcs to Nazgul, but no Sauron, and an enraged Hulk

vs

The Southen Forces: the entire Confederate Army, pre-reboot Superman, standard Godzilla, and the original mythological versions of Shiva and Ganesh

This was inspired by a conversation from the beginning of an episode of The Big Bang Theory. I thought it was interesting enough to post, so i did. I've taken some liberties, as the conversation the chracters had wasn't completely specific about the combatants involved, but i haven't changed much. The fight takes place on an alternate Earth, where all the fictional combatants have been zapped to, and, having made their allengiencies with the American armies and prepared for battle, are ready and willing to fight each other. Everyones morals are On. The winner is the army with the last man standing.

Opinions?

[Camacha]

Ah, Gettysburg, really important to anyone from the US, not so much to the rest of the world

[KerikBalm]

Thats like saying battles of the French Revolution shouldn't be important to anyone that wasn't french.

But if Superman's morals are "on", then why is he fighting for a side that condones slavery? it also means he won't kill people (not sure about Orcs).

The opposing army has no kryptonite... so... I think the North loses this one (without even looking into what powers Shiva and Ganesh have).

Hulk and Godzilla duke it out... leaving Superman and Shiva + Ganesh to battle the Orcs and Nazgul.

Superman, being an Alien, is not actually a man, and can kill the Nazgul no problem. The same goes for Shiva and Ganesh.

Superman can freeze-breath most of the orc army, heat vision the others, or just plain smash them with his fist.

I'm not exactly sure what Ganesh can do... but Shiva...

"In the Mahabharata, Shiva is depicted as 'the standard of invincibility, might, and terror' "

and

"Shiva is regarded as one of the primary forms of God. He is the Supreme God within Shaivism, one of the three most influential denominations in Hinduism. He is one of the five primary forms of God in the Smarta tradition, and 'the Destroyer' or 'the Transformer' among the Trimurti, the Hindu Trinity of the primary aspects of the divine.

Shiva has many benevolent and fearsome forms. At the highest level Shiva is limitless, transcendent, unchanging and formless"

also sounds like he could handily defeat some stupid orcs.

THen after the orcs are defeated, Superman and shiva neutralize the hulk and the Northern Army.

Decisive confederate victory.

The US splits int the USA and the CSA.

Possibly with the precedent of succession established, the western states later split from the north east.

The Spanish-American war never happens as a result, spain maitains its colonial empire.

In 1917 half the french army is in Mutiny, Russia surrenders, and Germany throws all its weight to the west. American forces are not there to hold the line, nor are american supplies going to the western powers in significant numbers.

France capitulates and WWI ends in late 1917 with Germany gaining territory.

Hitler never comes to power as a result. Germany also maintains large territorial gains in the East, Russia never becomes as powerful as the USSR did.

WWII either does not happen, and as a result, European colonialism does not come to an end (at least not nearly so soon), or itis merely delayed, occuring in an age of Jets, ICBMs, and Atmo bombs, Nuclear winter ensues.

Luckily, god like Shiva are real, and save us from ourselves.

Edited May 31, 2014 by KerikBalm

[IcarusBen]

IMHO, Hulk and Godzilla are stalemate, remember that Superman is vulnerable to magic, so he's screwed over dealing with the Orcs and Nazgul, but Shiva and Ganesh would mop the floor with the rest of the army.

[vger]

Ah, Gettysburg, really important to anyone from the US, not so much to the rest of the world

In this battle, it doesn't matter. It's even taking place in an alien 'arena' of sorts. All you really need to know is the kind of tech that those soldiers have had at their disposal. That said...

First question: While you're allying these massive forces with Civil War era armies, what are the armies going to do here?

IMO, just distribute popcorn to the human troops while the big guys do all the fighting.

Even if you were to just pit Mordor against a unified America from that era, Mordor wins hands down.

The humans are either here to watch, or to be fodder.

Ignoring that, I give this win to the South.

Superman or Godzilla would easily slaughter a Civil War army, and probably Sauron's forces. Both of them working together, plus two deities? Hulk has his work cut out for him. The only problem I see here is how Superman is going to deal with being allied to a giant napalm-spitting lizard laying waste to thousands of people in a single blast.

... unless it's Tristar Zilla. I think even soldiers from that age might be able to take him down.

Edited May 31, 2014 by vger

[IcarusBen]

In this battle, it doesn't matter. It's even taking place in an alien 'arena' of sorts. All you really need to know is the kind of tech that those soldiers have had at their disposal. That said...

First question: While you're allying these massive forces with Civil War era armies, what are the armies going to do here?

IMO, just distribute popcorn to the human troops while the big guys do all the fighting.

Even if you were to just pit Mordor against a unified America from that era, Mordor wins hands down.

The humans are either here to watch, or to be fodder.

Ignoring that, I give this win to the South.

Superman or Godzilla would easily slaughter a Civil War army, and probably Sauron's forces. Both of them working together, plus two deities? Hulk has his work cut out for him. The only problem I see here is how Superman is going to deal with being allied to a giant napalm-spitting lizard laying waste to thousands of people in a single blast.

... unless it's Tristar Zilla. I think even soldiers from that age might be able to take him down.

Superman isn't going to have trouble with Godzilla, considering that Superman is immune to radiation and practically invincible, just add sunlight. His problem will be the Nazgul and Orcs. They're magic. Superman's powers don't work on magical thingies.

Secondly, Hulk is also immune to radiation, so Godzilla's atomic breath will do jack squat. He's super strong and very large and could probably just jump on Zilla's back.

The only thing the South has to win with are Shiva and Ganesh. With those two, they win hands down. Without them, they'd lose like *this*.

[vger]

Superman isn't going to have trouble with Godzilla, considering that Superman is immune to radiation and practically invincible, just add sunlight. His problem will be the Nazgul and Orcs. They're magic. Superman's powers don't work on magical thingies.

What I meant was Superman wrestling with his conscience, when it comes to working with Godzilla.

Their solutions to solving problems are somewhat... different.

Secondly, Hulk is also immune to radiation, so Godzilla's atomic breath will do jack squat. He's super strong and very large and could probably just jump on Zilla's back.

And alright... we need a comic book expert in here. What's the biggest brute the Hulk has ever been up against?

[IcarusBen]

What I meant was Superman wrestling with his conscience, when it comes to working with Godzilla.

Their solutions to solving problems are somewhat... different.

And alright... we need a comic book expert in here. What's the biggest brute the Hulk has ever been up against?

He once beat Zeus in a brawl. That has to count for something.

And let's just assume that in this universe, Superman condones slavery and he and Godzilla both like each other.

[Brethern]

What I meant was Superman wrestling with his conscience, when it comes to working with Godzilla.

Their solutions to solving problems are somewhat... different.

And alright... we need a comic book expert in here. What's the biggest brute the Hulk has ever been up against?

I think he fought Thanos and superman at one point.

But it's not a fair contest superman, hulk and godzilla. We have to set standards on their powers? Are we talking about Hulk at his most powerful or weakest?

Is Superman at the comic book level of power, 1940's series power, 1996's animated series power movie power?

Edited June 1, 2014 by Brethern

[IcarusBen]

I think he fought Thanos and superman at one point.

But it's not a fair contest superman, hulk and godzilla. We have to set standards on their powers? Are we talking about Hulk at his most powerful or weakest?

Is Superman at the comic book level of power, 1940's series power, 1996's animated series power movie power?

Hulk is at his most powerful, Superman is at pre-reboot comic book power, and Godzilla is at his original 50's height.