The ultimate swiss army knife

[megatiger78]

it does this

[Red Iron Crown]

It does your laundry, then folds it and puts it away neatly.

[Ikaneko]

It can win the game for you.

[megatiger78]

but only if.......

[Norpo]

It can be flattened, and used as a mousepad!

[LABHOUSE]

Can make your clothes invisible!

If you use the knife to do what some would call "cutting off clothes".

Also works for hands.

[cantab]

It has a glue gun for when you've cut something you shouldn't. Biologically-safe glue means even living tissue can be mended*.

*Surgical expertise required. For minor wounds only. Not for use on electric eels.

[Red Iron Crown]

On every flight it allows you to bypass airport security, get bumped to first class, and it ensures you never lose your luggage.

[Dr-Drunk]

Can be used as an improvised waffle iron! Optimised for 70% less waffle loss!

[LABHOUSE]

It has a glue gun for when you've cut something you shouldn't. Biologically-safe glue means even living tissue can be mended*.

*Surgical expertise required. For minor wounds only. Not for use on electric eels.

...but only if you melt the case to create the glue.

It can also be used to make up to 3 limbs invisible by doing what most people consider self amputation with the saw blade.

Ultimate Swiss Army Knifeâ„¢ if not responsible for any life threatening infections or other self-inflicted wounds caused with this product.

[Dman979]

It has a cloaking device! Good for all your cloak-wearing needs!

Not for use with jackets or vests.

[cantab]

Includes a forum thread bumper.

[InterCity]

It contains a built-in time machine!*

*Warning: Warranty void if used for travelling to past after it stops working properly to get your money back.

[GreeningGalaxy]

It has a special knife that can slice through spacetime and open gateways to parallel universes!

WARNING: Using this function may create specters. We are not responsible for any souls consumed as a result of your use of this feature. Universe-slicing is banned in some states; check with your local authorities before using. Warranty void if used to access Hell, the Shadow Realm, Elysium, fractal dimensions, or universes containing Luminiferous Aether.

Edited January 13, 2015 by GreeningGalaxy

[megatiger78]

It can summon an army of marines to land on the beach......

[WinkAllKerb'']

It has one flag one fate.