The Administrators Go To School

[Whirligig Girl]

Early days of the space program. Early early days. And a love story worse than twilight.

Prologue

Mortimer was feeling particularly stressed today. Sweat over his wrinkled old brow, he called in a meeting at the Administration Building. They all arrived to meet him. Linus, the administrative science chief and intern of Wernher von Braun; Gus, the head of Operations; Walt, the PR manager; and of course Mortimer himself, head of finances; all sat down in the foldable chairs at the central table.

Mortimer slapped a piece of paper down on the table, his eye twitching at this disorganization. "Linus." Mortimer snapped. "You're the cause of this?" Linus startled awake. "Cause of... cause of what"? Linus queried. "We FIRED Jeb, Bill, and Bob?" Mortimer confronted. "Well... you see..." "Woah woah woah, when did this happen?" Walt gasped. Gus, food in his mouth, merely gulped. "WHY DID WE FIRE JEB, BILL, AND BOB??" Walt, Gus, and Mortimer all yelled at Linus.

"Well, here's the problem." Linus started. "Our launch vehicle is barely able to get off the launch pad, let alone get into orbit around the planet. Von Kerman says we've got all the useful data we can get from Kerbin, and we don't have a launchpad that can support more than 18 tonnes of rocket. Our shuttle, which we need to attach because Gus accidentally burned off all the parachutes and we need a way to land a reusable craft, takes up almost half of that to store the three Astronauts-" Walt cut in. "WHICH WE DON'T HAVE!"

Linus continued. "I'm getting to that. We can't build a better launch pad, because as you keep informing us Mortimer, we have essentially NO budget. So we have to cut off weight somewhere, and Wernher says the launch vehicle can't have any more fuel taken out of it or it won't be able to reach orbit at all. The space shuttle can't be changed because it's wing shapes have been very finely tuned for the past year of R&D, and that means the only weight we can cut off are the crew itself. And since we can't chop Jeb, Bill, and Bob in half, we had to fire them."

Walt and Mortimer thought a moment, Gus just continued to stealthily eat his sandwich. "But then..." Started Walt. "Who's going to crew the shuttle, Hmm?" Linus hesitated. "We'll have to go to..."

Chapter 1: ...School."

Mortimer, Gus, Linus, and Walt all stood in front of the massive complex known as "School of Greater Metaphorical Altitude" or "High School." This is the school Linus used to go to before he dropped out to become part of the space program. The schools on Kerbin are 8 (Kerbin) years long each, and there are four levels of school. Once you are in grade 20, you can drop out if you wish. School is a big place. "Here we are." Linus squeaked. He had very much been dreading this day. Then he remembered he was not actually supposed to be in school. The Administrators all went into The Central Office of Educational Bureaucracy to get their visitor's licenses. They then all stepped into the main hallway chamber.

Mortimer was horrified. There were many crowds of people all around them, all of them disorganized, non-right-angled Schoolagers. Linus put down his backpack and got out his posters. He placed them on the wall using spare tacks from an LV-T30 engine assembly. Someone approached him.

"Mr. Linus." It was Mr. Fredenly. His old literature teacher. "Creeping around the ladies' bathroom?" Fredenly produced a megaphone, aimed it right at Linus, and yelled. "DETENTION!!!" Linus looked up, noticing that he was indeed placing a poster on the door of the ladies' restroom. "Mr. Fredenly, I don't actually go to school anymore." Fredenly scrunched up his face and walked away, mumbling about how overworked he is. Linus continued to place posters. Eventually Mortimer, Linus, and Walt met up again in a central point.

"Linus, you've used up your posters?" The phrase DETENTION! could be heard in the background. "Yes, and you all?" "Yes." Mortimer and Walt both agreed. "Say, where's Gus?" Walt asked. "He said he was hanging posters in the cafeteria." Linus answered, then seemed to suddenly realize something, no doubt the fact that Gus was probably just eating a bunch of food. "Well, I think we're done here, let's go get some coffee while we're in town." Walt suggested. Despite the fact that they don't always get a long in the business side of things, the Administrators are all very good friends. "Leave Gus a note at the front door."

Chapter 2: A Recognition of Lost Friends and Foes.

It was a week later, and The Administrators came back to School. It was earlier this time, as an important meeting with Gene and the CEO of several rocket companies was to happen later. They checked all of the posters, which only Linus really knew what was on them, and the contact information given ranged from scribbling to lolnope to curse words. For the first time, Walt actually looked at the posters. "Wait, you wrote that you're only accepting female Schoolagers. What?" Linus stared blankly Bad Poker-Face'd at Walt. "Well, women are almost always lighter than men, and schoolagers are almost always lighter than adults." "Damnit Linus." Gus said. "But you're right. The Launch Vehicle needs a light payload, and girls are the lightest form of potential piloting skill we could ever find. That is..." He looked at Walt. "If anyone is actually interested in the Space Program." Walt looked back at Gus, then at Mortimer and Linus. "Our program is just not reputable. After the loss of our one expendable extra Kerbanaut, the public just doesn't care about the KSP. If we had the money for a charity or something, then that might be different. But as Mortimer is always keen to tell us, 'We Don't.'"

Linus frowned. Then, the bell rang. Kerbals started pouring out of the various classrooms, all running to get to their classes within the 30 second time limit. One of them in particular collided with Linus. "Linus?" The figure asked. "Wot." It was Nedely Kerman, Linus' old friendzone from back when he went to school. Linus recognized her. "I missed you!" She said, running backwards, falling over some books, then expertly headbouncing back into proper orientation. "Huh." Linus sighed. Mortimer smirked slightly. "We might get out of the way." Walt cautioned. The Administrators backed out of the hallway, and into the cafeteria, where Gus was already waiting.

Walt: "You know Linus, seeing your admiration for that one Kerbelle there gave me an idea."

Linus blushed. "Whaaaat? Pfft. Anyway, what's your idea."

Walt: "Did you see how cool that accidental stunt was there?"

Linus: "Yeah."

Walt: "It was almost like a barrellrolling zig-zag-whirlyloop manuever that Jebediah invented when test flying the shuttle. And yet she managed to recover from that, where Jeb had to eject."

Gus: "Mmhff, I thenk whe have a piwot."

Mortimer: "Gus, please swallow."

Gus gulped. "That is, I mean, if you can convince her."

Linus: "She was never really into space though. Moving quickly? Sure. Moving through a medium of nothingless though? Those ideas merely bored her."

Walt: "THAT'S IT!"

Gus: "What?"

Walt: "Selective Advertisement Campaign. New strategy I just thought of. We'll find the best crew for the missions we need and we'll make posters near specifically their classrooms."

Mortimer: "That's genious! And it won't cost us a penny, so long as we can steal some paper from the school!"

Suddenly, the lunchroom crowds filled in. Walt whispered to Linus. "You should go and try to resocialize with your fellow schoolage kerbals. Try and make space appealing to all of them. I know you. You're not awkward around girls, you're just awkward." Linus pushed himself out of his seat and tried to find Nedely.

Linus: "H... hey Nedely."

Nedely: "Where have you been?"

Linus: "I've been working with some of the smartest minds on the PLANET! Wernher von Kerman, Eugene Kerman, etc."

Nedely: "Oh. Interesting. Who are those people."

Linus: "The head rocket scientist and mission planner at Kerbal Space Center."

Nedely: "Is that important?"

Linus: "Pfft, it's only the most prestigious program in the world!"

Nedely: "Is that a fact?"

Linus: "Yeah!"

Nedely: "I'm guessing when you say Space, you're not talking about the volume inside our lockers."

Linus: "Well, no, I mean... SPACE! You know, the vast amount of nothingness. place where you can fly really really fast without stopping or burning up!"

Nedely: "Alright."

Some more people sat down at the table.

"Who's this loser?" One of them asked.

Linus: "Who?"

Frander Kerman: "YOU! Hahahahaha!"

Nedely chucked a bit.

Linus: "If by 'loser' you mean 'person who loses a bunch of stupidity', then I'm that person." Of course, Linus did feel a bit sad.

Frander: "Hey wait, I remember you, you were that nerd who tried to fly using fireworks in 16th grade. Idiot."

Linus: "Not."

Frander: "Are."

Linus growled slightly, then left the table. Approaching the other Administrators, he merely said. "That was a pointless endeavor." And they all went back to KSC in time for the meeting.

Chapter 3: Finding a Crew

Linus, being by far the youngest of the KSC senior staff, is debatable as to whether he should really be an administrator. Doubtless if there were two Wernher von Kermans, one would be the administrator instead of his intern. But nevertheless, the Administration team have gotten used to him, and, would likely miss him if he had to leave.

Linus, having stolen his baby sister's crayons, was trying to create a good poster to appeal to the scientist crew members. Beautiful pictures from a new satellite? Not possible under the new budget. Best they had is a low quality SSTV image from a suborbital rocket missile, which serves a good enough base.

Eventually, after having put up enough of the new posters, three kerbelles were found that were willing to fly up into space for varying reasons. Nedeley Kerman because of the moving fast; Eerberri Kerman because of the wonder of floating around in space; Earbles Kerman because of the complicated and very interesting machining. They had a proper crew to rival Jebediah, Bill, and Bob; except for the fact that they were lightweight, though still mentally developing. The Therapist at the Astronaut Complex had to do a fair bit of thinking before he was okay with letting young minds have such responsibility. He felt fine with giving Linus the simple job of thinking about the Space Program's science, but piloting a spacecraft? That may go too far. A physcological evaluation was neccessary. They all checked out, just barely. The Pink-Suited Three Kerbals were ready for a test flight.

Linus: "Alright: Nedely, Eerberri, and Earbles, this flight is simple. You've all done the simulations well enough. Now all that needs to be done is get a C7 Aerospace Bomber plane to haul up the Shuttle to a height, then you all fly it down."

Nedely: "We know! You've been saying that over and over again."

Linus: "I need to make sure the recording system picks it up at least once. Into the shuttle now." Linus shut the hatch.

Gene Kerman: "Flight systems go, This is KSC to Bomber 1, you are go for launch."

Jebediah: "Alrighty then, this is Bomber 1 ready for takeoff."

Gene: "Jeb is that you?"

Jebediah: "Yep."

Gene: "Glad you are still working in aerospace."

The bomber flew up beautifully. Unfortunately, Jebediah was jealous. He had no idea who was in that cockpit, all he knew was that he was mad at them for stealing his job. He maxed out the propellers, and aeileronrolled waaaay too fast. Nedely was having the time of her life, even without having taken the controls! Eerberri and Earbles meanwhile, were very much not having fun. Jeb stalled out the bomber, launched the Shuttle from the Bomb Bay, and recovered himself. This was something that the Pink-Suited Three has not been trained for. Nedely tried to steer, but could not. "What the hell!?" She exclaimed. They were being tossed around the cabin like there was no end, and even though Nedely was trying to control the craft, she didn't know what "stalling out" was, or how to avoid it. Earbles took the controls in realization. "It's like a paper glider! The Angle of Attack is too high, so we've stalled out! I think I know how to fix this." Jebediah watched in satisfaction as the vehicle tumbled out of control. He hadn't remembered an old adage from flight school. 'Altitude is Life Insurance.' "Whoever that pilot is" Jeb thought. "He's gonna have a tough time getting out of that." Earbles, still being tossed around during the stall, wired the joystick through the rocket controls, and was able to throttle the rocket engine of the shuttle from the rear cockpit. "Try and point prograde!" She yelled to Nedely. Eerberri could do nothing but observe the turmoil, writing down what was happening to the rarified air. Nedely finally regained control, and turned the ship right back down to the Space Center. Gene was watching the whole thing horrified. "JEBEDIAH!? WHAT THE HELL?" He screamed over the com. "I... Lost Control." Jeb scrunched some crew report papers over the microphone. "You're breaking up..."

Nedely put the shuttle down perfectly on the bumpy runway. Linus, Mortimer, and Walt were watching through the Admin Building's television, but Gus was nowhere to be seen. Though the mysterious and unsolved mystery of the lunch thief still remains. Everyone's mouths were gaping open at the unbelievable turn of events that just occurred. After minutes of silence, Nedely spoke up. "Are we ready to go to space yet?"

Up next: Chapter 4: Lost In Spaaaaaace.

Edited December 30, 2014 by GregroxMun

[Commissioner Tadpole]

Eh... I didn't really like how you made Jebediah be a total jerk.

[Whirligig Girl]

Eh... I didn't really like how you made Jebediah be a total jerk.

Neither did I. Why do you think there's still not another part of the story?

Wow this story is dumb.

[Engineer of Stuff]

I like how the admin Kerbals are in the story. They're so new that they're in very little.