Psychology after car wreck

[Dominatus]

I'm unsure as to what it is I'm experiencing. I turned 18 this past December, and on the way home from school (half days bc of midterms) I lost control on the dirt road and went off road, flipping the car onto it's side. This is my first really bad car wreck. The airbags went off and the key was stuck in the ignition, the car flipped onto the drivers side. I had to climb up and crawl out of the passenger side as the car filled with smoke prior to the engine dying. After this I was shaking, probably shock. My ankle is also likely sprained... And I am just regretting it. Regretting that I hadn't slowed down more before avoiding a pothole, regretting that I was going 35mph instead of 15-25mph, regretting that I had totaled my car. It was my great-grandfathers 2001 catera that I inherited, and it had it's own little quirks but it was a good car. Reliable. I've had it since spring sophomore year, when my great grandfather passed away. It was arguably the best car my family owned, the others being a 1995 town and country and a Trailblazer that has at least 400,000 miles on it, probably far more. Neither is a great vehicle, and mine was supposed to last until college... I am incredibly upset at the moment, and see this as an end to the freedoms I was enjoying with my own car. Is there some psychological explanation for this torrent of feelings that are pummeling me? And what can I do to make myself feel better, to get over it? Any advice is really appreciated.. I know there is a psychological explanation for this way I am feeling and dealing with this.

[Camacha]

Is there some psychological explanation for this torrent of feelings that are pummeling me?

Yes. First of all, you went through a rather violent event, so it is only natural to be shaken up. Secondly, from a biological point of view, it is healthy to not do this too often. Feelings of regret and being upset are both ways of learning not to do this again. They are basically a form of pain. You will try to avoid feeling that again, influencing your behaviour in the future.

From a less mechanical point of view: things like this happen. It is part of life. Without wanting to suggest it is your own fault, because sometimes things happen no matter how careful you are, young people also tend to take more risks. The fallout is a lesson and that is why older people generally take less risks - they have done all the stupid things and they have learned how to avoid most of them. That is also a part of life.

Do not blame yourself too much, but do learn from this experience. You are not born a good driver, you learn from small and big mistakes. Getting over it is, unfortunately, not that easy, but I have always found physical exercise a good help. It burns off emotions and excess energy.

Edited January 20, 2015 by Camacha

[Bryce Ring]

Give it a week.

You will know a bit more then, but for now. Yes you lost something of value through lack of A/ experience B/ Skill C/ care, but you can still keep a badge and or broken bent bit to keep reminder.

I'm all for getting a car out of control and back again. Just not in any way that could cause damage or harm. lessons learnt, skills honed, lives saved

Chin UP! Your still alive

PS, I am 45 and I have been Driving Legally ever since I was 16 I have had 3 write offs. one strange one was due to inexperience with front wheel drive cars, Honda Civic, Did a U turn in my street close to a car on the opposite side, Let go of the wheel without a check hand, and slowly accelerated, (OK accelerated a bit hard ) the result I usually got from my rear wheel drive car at the time was for the wheel to centre at a certain rate. But the civic just went Centre straight away. well it plowed into the car I was going to miss by metres. I was upset because I knew who owned the car I hit and it was my brothers newly purchased second hand car I was taking for a spin up the road.

Now I drive Busses, the big ones, 17t with up to 80 passengers sitting and standing with no seatbelts through traffic that would make the younger me cringe.

PS, Have you tried iRacing lol.

Edited January 20, 2015 by Bryce Ring

[Ten Key]

When I was in middle school, one of my class mates played double bass in the orchestra. The instrument was bigger than he was, but he'd carried it around for the better part of a year with no problems. The door into the music room had a metal lip along the bottom of the threshold, and, after carrying that bass through that door way dozens of times, he accidentally caught the end pin on the metal lip, tripped, and fell through the back of the instrument. $2,000 gone in the blink of an eye.

When I was in high school, a friend was merging onto an interstate from a ramp that he'd driven on dozens of times. But never before in a rear wheel drive vehicle in the rain. The car fishtailed when he tried to accelerate, and he lost control, spun across three lanes of traffic and went head on into a concrete barricade. The car was totaled, but thankfully he was not seriously hurt.

When I was in college, one of my friends had an ancient Jeep Cherokee that wouldn't start unless it was on a completely level surface. The parking spaces next to his dorm hall were on an incline, so starting the thing meant pushing it out of the space first. One day it just absolutely refused to start, and after ten minutes of trying we gave up and went to push it back into the space. As soon as we got it rolling, it hit that incline and started picking up speed. I was standing right next to the front bumper and just reflexively tried to push it to a stop, but there was no way that was going to happen. Thankfully, a stranger just happened to be walking by, and they had the presence of mind to jump into the driver's seat and stand on the brakes. If that person hadn't been there, I would have likely been crushed.

And just a few days ago, someone was telling me a story of a friend who had been working on a year long art project. He backed his work up on three separate flash sticks for redundancy-- he was doing a back up on a school computer one night when he swiveled his chair to reach for a drink. His knee caught the side of the computer tower, and snapped all three flash sticks in half.

Everyone has moments like these. . .those "I can't believe I did that!" moments where you're not being reckless, but perhaps not paying quite as much attention as you could be and something you didn't anticipate jumps out and bites you. We have all been there at one point or another, and the older you get the more of these stories you'll have to tell.

A little guilt is natural, but if it gets too bad, remember-- you're in good company.