Drunkrobot Posted May 29, 2013 Share Posted May 29, 2013 Me, in my space rocket: Yeah! We gonna space!Meanwhile, at the VAB...ASAS:...did that idiot forget to bolt me to the rocket AGAIN!? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FollowingGhosts Posted May 29, 2013 Share Posted May 29, 2013 Me: Let's fly!ASAS: This idiot is trying to force an unwilling arrangement of tin cans into space. Why should I be of any use? Oooooh, I can make these winglets flap...flapflapflap....oh Kerbin looks very green tod...CATASTROPHIC FAILURE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zpox357 Posted May 29, 2013 Share Posted May 29, 2013 Eeloo mission, Day 621, "The boredom set in a long time ago" Me: Hey, ASAS... This statement...ASAS: don't... Me: This statement is...ASAS: DON'T! Me: Ok, ok! Im sorry.ASAS: *sigh* yeah, good Me: ...ASAS: ... Me: FALSE!!!ASAS: ARGH, WHA-,...This is getting so old... *ASAS.exe is not responding* Me: *giggle* Ahhh, that was, *giggle* Oh, it gets him every time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deadweasel Posted May 29, 2013 Share Posted May 29, 2013 Eeloo mission, Day 621, "The boredom set in a long time ago" Me: Hey, ASAS... This statement...ASAS: don't... Me: This statement is...ASAS: DON'T! Me: Ok, ok! Im sorry.ASAS: *sigh* yeah, good Me: ...ASAS: ... Me: FALSE!!!ASAS: ARGH, WHA-,...This is getting so old... *ASAS.exe is not responding* Me: *giggle* Ahhh, that was, *giggle* Oh, it gets him every time Ah, programmer humor./lol'ed quite a bit, actually Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matticus88 Posted May 29, 2013 Share Posted May 29, 2013 I'm sure my ASAS would be screaming alll the time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sal_vager Posted May 29, 2013 Share Posted May 29, 2013 "Capcom this is Jebediah, we are about to disengage ASAS for the gravity turn, over""Jeb, you are go for ASAS disengage, over"[ASAS sings] "Roll roll roll your rocket, gently out to space...."[Jeb] "Aghhhhh!"[bob] "Aghhhhh!"[bill] "Aghhhhh!"[ASAS] "....merrily merrily merrily merrily...."[GROUND CONTACT ERROR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Destroyer Posted May 29, 2013 Share Posted May 29, 2013 ASAS: Woohoo! I finally get to be on a plane!Me: Ok, do your job and keep me steadyASAS: WHAT THE HECK Me: WHAT ARE YOU DOING ASAS? MY PLANE IS SHAKING LIKE HECK AND GOING DOWN!ASAS: I'm new here!Me: But this isn't a good aircraft for newbiesASAS: OH NOOOOOOOOOO*KABOOM* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deadweasel Posted May 29, 2013 Share Posted May 29, 2013 "Holding heading...Holding heading...Holding headi-SQUIRREL!!!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Merv DeGriff Posted May 29, 2013 Share Posted May 29, 2013 Welcome to Kerbal Station One!ASAS: I hate the smell of monopropellant... VENTING RCS.Jeb: Ooooh Space steam!Bill: KSC we have a problem.Bill unplugs ASAS module.ASAS: Bill... Bill... I'm afraid. I can feeeeeeelllll mmmmyyyyyy mmmmminddddd gooooooiiinnnngggg.Jeb: Oooh... ASAS Does Dubstep too?Bill: EVA Time JebBill enjoys some peace. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reavermyst Posted May 29, 2013 Share Posted May 29, 2013 Mine would just go "I can not allow you to do that Dave...." Then collapse on itself XD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KerbActual Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 "I'm sorry, Bill. I can't let you do that." Darn it, beaten by about three pages or so. Instead, I'll go with this one.Jeb:"Stay on target."ASAS: "I Can't Hold It!"Jeb: "Stay on target"ASAS: They came from behin--" *splosion* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CozmikR5 Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 It wouldn't talk... it would SCREAM !!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Epthelyn Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 When stopping rotation using warp and forgetting to turn off ASASASAS: Wheeeee! Aaaand back! Oops, I missed, too much left! Aaaand back!Me: ... *Engages Warp with ASAS on*ASAS: You tried, you failed. SpinnnnnMe: *Engages Warp with ASAS off*ASAS: You haven't seen the last of me... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokay Gris Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 Is there any doubt whatsoever that "ASAS" is actually HAL 9000? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shrike42 Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 Is there any doubt whatsoever that "ASAS" is actually HAL 9000?I think it's more Wheatley. Or HAL just prior to shutdown. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Piggius_Max Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 <Begin Captains Log, Post Jebadiah Incident,Sol Cycle 428, On return to LKO Refuel station>Ship ASAS: What. Is that.Captain: That's the station we're docking to, is there a problem?Ship ASAS: Maybe...Captain: Well what is it?Ship ASAS: Oh don't worry you'll live it's nothing majorCaptain: O-key then...*Docks with station*Station ASAS: HEY HEY HEY WHAT IS THIS?!!!Captain: What is what?Ship ASAS: OI. Station ASAS: YOU WANNA FIGHT?!Captain: Guise, chilllllll....Ship ASAS: YEA, BRINGIT!!Station ASAS: I'VE BEEN WAITIN' ALLLL 2543 AND A HALF ORBITS FOR THIS-Captain: Guise pleez we can sort this out lets be reasonableStation ASAS decides to roll right, Ship ASAS rolls left.BOTH ARE SUPER EFFECTIVE!!!Station and Ship are now in 83 different pieces.¬_¬Station ASAS is now on a trajectory towards Kerbin and we will lose radio contact shortly, Ship ASAS is now MIA; remnants of the ship can still be seen thrusting RCS from the observatory. Station solar panels have supposedly been seen falling from the sky over KSC.<End Captains log> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RocketPilot573 Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 (edited) Jeb: "Okay ASAS, this aircraft has 300 wing lets for maximum stability, do you think you can handle that?"ASAS: "Of course!"*Jeb presses "t"*ROARJeb: "Whoa, whoa, WHOA"Bill: "JEB! Turn it off!!!!!"Bob: "We're exceeding 77 gees! And we're going over 3000m/s!!!!!!!"ASAS: "Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo hooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, this is so fun!"Jeb: "Must... Reach... Control... Column..."KSC: "ASAS!!! Your sonic boom just destroyed 5 major cities!!"ASAS: "THIS IS AWSOME!!!!!!"*Jeb presses "t"*ASAS: Jeb: "Got it! That was a close one."Bill: "Is it me, or is the sun getting closer?"ASAS: "I can help!"Bill, Jeb, and Bob: "NO" Edited May 30, 2013 by RocketPilot573 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deadweasel Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 <Begin Captains Log, Post Jebadiah Incident,Sol Cycle 428, On return to LKO Refuel station>Ship ASAS: What. Is that.Captain: That's the station we're docking to, is there a problem?Ship ASAS: Maybe...Captain: Well what is it?Ship ASAS: Oh don't worry you'll live it's nothing majorCaptain: O-key then...*Docks with station*Station ASAS: HEY HEY HEY WHAT IS THIS?!!!Captain: What is what?Ship ASAS: OI. Station ASAS: YOU WANNA FIGHT?!Captain: Guise, chilllllll....Ship ASAS: YEA, BRINGIT!!Station ASAS: I'VE BEEN WAITIN' ALLLL 2543 AND A HALF ORBITS FOR THIS-Captain: Guise pleez we can sort this out lets be reasonableStation ASAS decides to roll right, Ship ASAS rolls left.BOTH ARE SUPER EFFECTIVE!!!Station and Ship are now in 83 different pieces.¬_¬Station ASAS is now on a trajectory towards Kerbin and we will lose radio contact shortly, Ship ASAS is now MIA; remnants of the ship can still be seen thrusting RCS from the observatory. Station solar panels have supposedly been seen falling from the sky over KSC.<End Captains log>Jeb: "Okay ASAS, this aircraft has 300 wing lets for maximum stability, do you think you can handle that?"ASAS: "Of course!"*Jeb presses "t"*ROARJeb: "Whoa, whoa, WHOA"Bill: "JEB! Turn it off!!!!!"Bob: "We're exceeding 77 gees! And we're going over 3000m/s!!!!!!!"ASAS: "Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo hooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, this is so fun!"Jeb: "Must... Reach... Control... Column..."KSC: "ASAS!!! Your sonic boom just destroyed 5 major cities!!"ASAS: "THIS IS AWSOME!!!!!!"*Jeb presses "t"*ASAS: Jeb: "Got it! That was a close one."Bill: "Is it me, or is the sun getting closer?"ASAS: "I can help!"Bill, Jeb, and Bob: "NO"OMG you guys... I'm in tears over here/loves the British "OI!" for annoyance Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Destroyer Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 My ASAS isn't just a moron, it was DESIGNED to be a moron. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tollazor Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 ASAS: UP, UP, DOWN, DOWN, errrrr..ASAS: UP, UP, DOWN, DOWN, LEFT, RIGHT, UP ... damn it..ASAS: UP, UP, DOWN, DOWN, LEFT, RIGHT, LEFT, RIGHT, RCS, RCS.Ship explodes.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Deep Space Kraken Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 My ASAS isn't just a moron, it was DESIGNED to be a moron.He's not just a regular moron. He's the product of the greatest minds of a generation working together with the express purpose of building the dumbest moron who ever lived. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Limited Infinity Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 Launch tower: T - 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1ASAS: Wow! Nice ship flies straight as an arrowLaunch tower: You've hit 10k. Begin gravity turn.RCS (sings): "I like big buts and I can not lie"ASAS: WAIT! What!(Also applicable to docking) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deadweasel Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 Launch tower: T - 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1ASAS: Wow! Nice ship flies straight as an arrowLaunch tower: You've hit 10k. Begin gravity turn.RCS (sings): "I like big buts and I can not lie"ASAS: WAIT! What!(Also applicable to docking).....Well, I suppose as long as you got it in my head now....I like big DOCKS and I can not lieYour strupid thrusters can't denyThat when a ship flies in with an itty bitty tankAnd a round thing in your faceYou get sprung, wanna pull out your struts'Cause you notice that dock was buffedSmack on the tank she's faringI'm hooked and I can't stop staringOh baby, I wanna get with youAnd take your pictureMy pilot tried to trick meBut that dock you got makes [me-me-me so wiggly!]Ooh, Disc-o'-steel-skinYou say you wanna get in my fins?Well, use me, use me'Cause you ain't that average action groupieI've seen them dancin'To hell with romancin'She's leet, sweet,Got it goin' like my delta-v!I'm tired of mission briefsSayin' flat docks are the thingTake the average SAS and ask him thatShe gotta pack much backSo, fellas! (Yeah!) Fellas! (Yeah!)Has your station got the slot? (Hell yeah!)Tell 'em to shake it! (Shake it!) Shake it! (Shake it!)Shake that shiny port!Baby got dock! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tollazor Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 Deadweasel wins the thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
llamatoes Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 "I'm sorry Dave, I can't do that." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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