After having the same problems using probes to try landing empty tanks & engines for cash refund, it got me wondering what they'd do in real life (aside from inventing stronger chutes), most obvious solution would be to increase form drag, so I started using Infernal Robotics hinges with downscaled wing connectors attached, slowly opening them a couple of kilometers above the surface increases your cross-section and really helps with decelerating, enough to deploy parachutes at a safe altitude instead of hitting the surface at 300 m/s, of course this "workaround" only works if you've got FAR or NEAR installed. Edit: I just found out FAR gives winglets a very similar function, if you right-click on them in the VAB, activate Flap, set Flp/splr Dflct to maximum, and (optionally) add increase/decrease Flap Deflection as action groups, you have a simpler and more sturdy air brake, the only downside is that your vehicle will start spinning like a fan once active.