FlamingPotatoes

"I pressed this button." "The self-destruct?"

O2 isn't a problem, right guys?

Minmus is ice cream, right guys?

How did you make this?

I like the music, It's very 'malfunctiony'.

Yes! Designer225?

Noo! Endersmens?

I was in a selfie with Morgan Freeman, Bill Nye, Obama, Neil DeGrasse Tyson, Stephen Hawking, Tony Hawk, Brian Cox AND Buzz Aldrin at the same time!

Pro: Be Designer225 Con: My life has just gone out of the window Have a brain in a robot body.

NOPE The user below me has been to duna

CApital I for when you are talking about yourself! CHEATER!

saturday what is the ugliest day of your mom?

NEIN Tw1 (ten char)

granted, but now all food is petrol flavoured raisins. I wish that i could go into spaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace

I require moar of this delightful story!

Yes, he said there needs to be more of these, so I made one!

We're back with the Totally legit news channel of New Zylancia! Today we shall be interviewing a kerbal by the name of Seanbury Kerman, first Kerbal on Moho, with our host, Macktie Kerman! Macktie: Yes it's me again and we shall be talking to Seanbury Kerman who has just got back from his world famous voyage to Moho! How are you Seanbury? Seanbury: I'm fine thank you. Macktie: Great stuff, so tell us, what was travelling to Moho like? Seanbury: Very cramped, not much space to move around in at al- Macktie: no you're supposed to read from this script see? Seanbury: what this bit? Oh okay I mean it was lovely, yes lots of space to move around, totally not like a coffin. With 4 claustrophobic astronauts inside. Macktie: Great! And the launch was okay? Seanbury: Fine yeah, no boosters accidentally flying off into a civilian neighbourhood, not at all! Macktie: Well we wouldn't want that would we? Anyway, give us a breakdown of what happened as soon as you got into Moho orbit. Seanbury: Well one of the astronauts, Silbury, had independently decided to go out into the vacuum of space to see how long a kerbal could survive in space without a space suit. Macktie: And he came back okay? Seanbury: Yeah! In fact he went into the magical relaxation invisible mansion that some of the bravest kerbals go to, kerbals with families. Macktie: What happened after that heroic voyage that we don't have footage of for reasons you are not allowed to know? Seanbury: We got into a stable orbit, released a couple of satellites into space. Then we fed Herman. Macktie: Herman? Seanbury: A cute little tortoise that no-one is allowed to see for reasons that we took into space with us. Macktie: Okay, continue. Seanbury: So we fed Herman, then climbed aboard the landing craft where guess what happened? Macktie: What? Seanbury: Some traitorous engineer had misaligned the parts of the engine because he wanted to sabotage the mission and totally not the fact that the emper- Macktie: Glorious emperor Seanbury: Sorry, Glorious emperor values speed over safety. Macktie: Wow! What a swine of an engineer! Seanbury: I know! You'll be happy to know that both him and his family were justly executed. Macktie: Serves them right! Join us tomorrow when we take a look at Seanbury's landing! See you next time!

We're back with today's episode of Totally Legit News Channel where we will follow the story of a man who disobeyed the eternal emperor and completed his just and benevolent punishment in the New Zylancia Prison! We are here with our presenter, Macktie Kerman! Macktie:That's right folks! Our special guest Geogbort Kerman has just regained consciousness and will now tell us the rest of the story, right Geogbort? Geogbort:Huh? Who am I? Macktie:So Geogbort, tell us what was life like in New Zylancia Bad-People-make-good-again centre? Geogbort: You mean New Zylancia prison? It was harsh, the guards were *CENSORED* to us all. Macktie: Wow, very graphic! Did you make any friends? Geogbort: What kind of a question is that? Friends? It was so *CENSORED* we could barely talk to each other. Macktie: And what was your make-good-again room like? Geogbort: You mean my cell? Macktie: Come now! Cells are only for horrible foreign governments who give people the horrors of 'free speech' and 'kerbal rights'. Geogbort: Fine, my make-good-again room. Oh boy, it was cramped, very tiny, two meters wide, barely tall enough to sit up in. Macktie: Really? Sounds a little far fetched for our glorious nation! Geogbort: Far fetched? What are you on? Kermlatose? Macktie: That would be a great book, a hero in a cramped prison in some kerm-forsaken foreign land! Geogbort: Are you even listening to me? Macktie: What? Sorry, I got distracted. Geogbort: I can't believe you, you're just a puppet of the regime . Macktie: We'll be back folks! With another special guest only on the Totally Legit News Channel of New Zylancia! Stay tuned! Geogbort: Of course, end as soon as I uncover you...

In today's episode of Totally Legit News Channel we will follow the story of a man who disobeyed the eternal emperor and completed his just and benevolent punishment in the New Zylancia Prison! We are here with our presenter, Macktie Kerman! Macktie: Thanks! Today, as mentioned we will give you a show of the man who disobeyed emperor Xactar in his righteous conquest of the Evil-Scum-land-of-old-zylancia. Here is Geogbort Kerman! Geogbort: My name's not Geogbort, it's Nancin, the Emperor called me Geogbort cause it sounds dumb Macktie: Right, of course Geogbort! What a laugh folks! Anyway, tell me what you did to make the emperor so righteously mad? Geogbort: *sigh* I told him publicly to stand down and give independence to the Republic of Zylancia Macktie: HAH! Oh how much sarcasm you must of had! You were so good, the emperor believed you! In fact, most people believed you, me included! Geogbort: They believed it because it was true smeg-for-brains! You want to know what they did after they heard that? Macktie: Yes please! Geogbort: They arrested me for 'Treason' and saint me to an underground bunker! Macktie: Well it was treason to believe silly old things like 'Free speech' and 'democracy'! All we need to thrive is the words of the emperor and a little bit of oppression! He is a god after all! Geogbort: They tortured me and brainwashed me for 5 whole days! Macktie: Now now Geogbort, no need to exaggerate! Geogbort: IT'S NANCIN! and I'm not exaggerating! They tore my arms off for gods sake! Macktie: Everyone knows that that was an industrial accident! Geogbort: STOP LYING TO THE WORLD! Macktie: Calm down and repeat after me, it was an accident, you are Geogbort, there was no torture, calm,calm,calm..... Geogbort: there was no torture calm, calm, calm *snore* Macktie: We'll be back as soon as our host gains consciousness!

Chadley Kerman had a quiet life. Nothing was too much hassle. He made his wage from the rocketry steel in the town far below and he lived in a group of 7 houses clustered on a hill. One thing that was particularly special, at least to him, was his wife Tiffany, who was about to have a child. His child. 4 days later as he came home from work, Chadley noticed a small wailing coming from his home. He rushed in to find his wife slumped in bed holding a little baby kerbal in her arms. This young Kerbal had a dazzling spray of red hair, like none seen before. They both set on a name almost instantly, Rouge. The tiny kerbal sat in a small cot drifting off to sleep as his mother sang to him. "You will shine, you will be bright. Like a rocket in the night. When you fall you'll think you're done, but Rouge I know you'll never give up." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ "Rouge! Are you alive?" yelled Alexia as they jumped out of the jeep near the blackened hulk of steel. "Yes, what a great question to ask!" replied Francis "Now pass me the metal saws, we need to get this open!" One by one they cut open sections of metal until they reached the inside of the cabin and saw Rouge lying there, unconscious and battered but not mortally wounded. "Get him out of here! Relay a message back to base! Get the examination crews to have a look at this cabin!" "Yes sir! Outbound squad Alpha to hometown, Outbound squad Alpha to hometown." A quiet, crackling audio came through the other side "Outbound squad Alpha, this is hometown, what is your message? "We're outside the wreckage of the Anatolia I capsule, the Anatolia IV. Send engineering squads Alpha, Bravo, Charlie and Echo to examine" "Roger that, they're on their way." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Blackness, inky blackness Like a squid. I like squids. Or should I say liked? Am I dead? I might be, maybe. No-ones said, "come towards the light" Well, there is no light, only blackness. Like a squid, or an octopus. Did I like octopuses? I think I did. They're like squids. And I like squids. Any sound? No? Wait...There is something. "Rouge, come to!" What was that? Was it a squid?" "Rouge! Come to!" Hold on, I remember that voice. Slowly, rouge opened his eyes. "Where am I?" "Hospital" said Alexia, smiling down at him. "At least I'll be taken care of. I had one hell of a nap." "Rouge, you almost burnt up in the atmosphere." "Hmm, did I? Oh well. And tell the doctors to get me a fish tank with a squid in it. Oh, and I would like fried calamari for lunch.

Nobodies joining tho

The bumpy ride over the ice ridges twisted Alexia's nerves. Rouge was almost certainly dead. She knew that. But this certainty didn't help her. "Alexia, I see smoke, 30o clockwise. About 1.9 kilometers away." 'So, we've found it.' she thought, 'we've found the crashed ship of our first astronaut' "Alexia, don't beat yourself up about it, rouge's death was tragic, but it was not any particular person's fault. We checked, double-checked and triple-checked all systems. Rouge knew that. He wouldn't want you to go on like this." said Roman Maybe he was right. All systems were stress checked more times than can be counted. "If everything was perfected, then tell me why his ship heated up past the safety margin and the parachute was torn off." Alexia replied her voice trembling. "We need to investigate the crash site to be sure, but we think it was due to a dodgy entry angle and fast winds that ripped the parachute off its cord." One thing was for sure, they were going to find out soon.

Very nice! Can't wait for the next part!

>INITIATE DRIVES >run.drives/files/STARTUP.01 >run.drives/files/STARTUP.02 >run.drives/AI/AIDRIVE1 >run.drives/AI/AIDRIVE2 >run.drives/AI/AIDRIVE3 BOOT SYSTEMS >run.boot/system1 >run.boot/system2 >run.boot/AILOGIC >run.boot/AIMORAL >run.boot/AICONCIENCE >boot.AI files engaged. Log activated, AI controlled log from now on. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Log-I. Position: Eeloo, north pole. T-0 days, 00:10:00 My first bootup, eh? Probably my last too. We're finally ready to depart from Eeloo on my maiden voyage. Into the sun. Yay. I was created to monitor heat patterns as we got nearer and nearer the Sun, starting my own grand tour. Charts say I will get to the sun within 638 days 4 hours and 11 minutes. Oh and when I said we, I ment me and my copilot personality. I know she has no gender but she is still hot! (at least as hot as a non physical artificial intelligence can be) I'm trying to get the courage to ask her out and when I told Dr.Ivan about it he said, while it is a fools errand, it shows I'm more human than they ever thought imaginable. So that's nice. Anyway, with nothing else to write about my conscious life I might as well give some of the ships readings. Central Engine: 100% Outer Engine 1: 100% Outer Engine 2: 100% Outer Engine 3: 100% Outer Engine 4: 100% Outer Engine 5: 100% Outer Engine 6: 100% Hull strength: 100% Fuel: 100%. Log End. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Log-II Position: Eeloo, Polar orbit. T+ 0 days, 00:23:42 They've christened us and our ship, I'm Ice, My copilot's Frost and the wondrous ship we're on is called the Novgorod I love these names, the ever so professional Frost is completely indifferent. Scans with the surface radar dish has shown what we've known for months, Eeloo is cold. It would take a genius to figure that one out. Actually, how cold is Eeloo? --------- Scan calculations show the surface of the planet EELOO to be: -212o Celsius. --------- Damn, that's cold. You could decrease the temperature of Kerbin's poles by the day side of Moho and get nowhere near that cold. Well, that's what we're hear for isn't it? Showing temperature differences between the outer planets and the sun. Anyway, Ice out. Oh and the engine reports. Central Engine: 100% Outer Engine 1: 100% Outer Engine 2: 100% Outer Engine 3: 100% Outer Engine 4: 100% Hull strength: 100% Fuel: 72%.

None, all stock is (Surprisingly) playable.