Dave Thompson

Dave Thompson here, Good news is, the boys down in engineering assure me it's a two stage rocket design, however they also informed me I shouldn't be talking about these rockets as apparently the ships panels contain large amounts of asbestos, ha! ...and they're telling me I ought to stop making these announcements. Now that gave me an idea... make more announcements! I pay the bills around here, I can talk about these designs all damn day!

Greetings friends. I'm Dave Thompson, CEO of Astraios Industries. You might know us as a vital participant of the 2011 senate hearing on missing kerbalnauts, and you've most likely used one of the many products we invented but other people have somehow managed to steal from us... RKEA Inc. can eat my bankrupt a.. Anyway! welcome to Astraios Industries. You're here because you want the best and we make the best. Now, Rocket science isn't about why, it's about why not. You ask: "Dave, why are so many of your rockets dangerous?" I say: "why not marry safe rockets if you love them so much!" We're not gonna release this stuff into the wild until it's good and damn ready, so as long as you keep yourself in top physical form you're laughing. Worst case scenario, you miss out on a few rounds of canasta. They say great rockets are built on the shoulders of giants - not here. At Astraios we build all our rockets from scratch; no hand holding, and I'll be honest, we're throwing engineering at the walls here to see what sticks. No idea what it'll do. But here it is, the new STS Selene II, yours for an affordable â‚¡46,370! Now, the guys down at engineering informed me that one of our test pilots was intentionally given a faulty parachute, ha ha ha!... All joking aside, that did actually happen. Broke every bone in his body - tragic. But informative! Or so I'm told. So, who here is ready to buy some rockets?