This is all KSP-1 stuff. I'm hoping that the situation laid out below did not flow into KSP-2. Since I don't see fuel tank priorities in KSP-2, it seems like KSP-2 Asparagus configurations will need fuel ducts. If I see fuel tank priorities in KSP-2 I will certainly try to use them instead!
TLDR: cross-feed and tank priorities would obsolete fuel ducting, except that cross-feed in TT-38k and TT-70 is broken in KSP-1. I did not check other radial decouplers, since Asparagus staging is most critical to me in early career when few parts are available (it makes hitting Mun and Minmus massively easier).
More explicitly before more "you need to unlock it" and "you need to enable it" and "did you check the fuel feed overlay" ... ( As a software engineer, I spent a lot of time writing "did you turn it off and on again" style replies. we can skip that part of diagnosis, thanks. )
With cross-feed unlocked in R&D, and the option visible, and the option turned on in each mounted decoupler, and fuel priorities set for the tanks, and the fuel overlay showing fuel should flow where I want it to, I launch and observe all tanks in the asparagus staging set-up are being drawn down at the same rate. Historically I have depended on a seven-engine configuration using TT-38k, FL-T800 and FL-T400 tanks, and a mix of Reliant and Swivel engines.
I just crosschecked with the TT-70 obtaining the same result. Options set, overlay in VAB shows it should flow, but tanks drain evenly in flight.
So. At this moment, when it comes to Asparagus configurations in KSP-1, fuel ducts are needed and not actually obsolete.
https://wiki.kerbalspaceprogram.com/wiki/TT-38K_Radial_Decoupler
lists the following changes relating to fuel ducting, radial decouplers, and cross feed:
> 0.9 - August 12, 2011 - (undocumented) Radial decouplers can now cross-feed fuel
>0.13.1 - January 11, 2012 - Removed parent-wise fuel cross-feed from Radial Decouplers. Fuel Lines made that obsolete
https://wiki.kerbalspaceprogram.com/wiki/TT-70_Radial_Decoupler
Size aside, the TT-70 functions identically to the TT-38K Radial Decoupler
> 0.18 - 1 December 2012 - Initial Release
https://wiki.kerbalspaceprogram.com/wiki/FTX-2_External_Fuel_Duct
has wording that agrees with what you say, and what I remembered, but see below:
Fuel lines used to be a vital part of asparagus staging designs allowing for use of all engines available where fuel is first drained from external fuel tanks allowing them to be jettisoned (severing the FTX-2 External Fuel Duct) when they become empty. By the time the last external fuel tanks are jettisoned, the central or main fuel tanks left on the vessel will be at a full fuel level. Nowadays, most of this is done by setting the flow priorities appropriately, and fuel lines are no longer necessary for asparagus staging.
relevant change log entry:
>0.13 - December 16, 2011 - initial release
So why do I still use fuel ducts? Because fuel cross-feed in the TT-38k radial decoupler is broken.
Yes, I've upgraded R&D. I see the option in each decoupler placed, and I've turned it on (it defaults to off). I have double checked that the tanks have their priorities set.
Despite all indications in the UI that it should work, all of my tanks are draining equally; no fuel is being cross-fed, in any direction, between any of the tanks in my asparagus launcher.