What Kerbals Eat

[Whirligig Girl]

"Kerbals eat gravity and drink happiness." Kaspervld, 2015.

So then, they must starve on Gilly. But then, they can just eat Kerbol's gravity! They eat the GRAVIOLIES. Of course! The Negative Gravioli container, like Ravioli! A food! The negative ones are the ones that pull you down, and thus can be used to measure a planet's pull. Positive graviolis are emitted by mass just as much, but only gravitationally affect anti-matter. It's the trip to Eeloo that worries me. That far away, Kerbals might starve. So they drink "Happiness" a nickname for monopropellant. They drink it and then expel (read: urinate) it. Both chemicals are equally volatile, so they just put it back into the same tank. Once at Eeloo, they can eat Eeloo's gravity.

But wait. http://i.imgur.com/ZHWSKxL.jpg

There's a Food and Not Food drawer in the Hitchhiker Storage Container. If Gravity=Graviolis=Food, then what's Not-Food? ANTI-gravity! And if Kerbals have a box of antigravity then why are they messing around with rockets? Simple! The Gravity/Antigravity reaction powers the... wait for it... TIMEWARP!!!

[Tex]

Woah. I haven't heard a gameplay explanation for the timewarp! Now I'm only curious as to how antigravity would have any effect on time.

[Brotoro]

"Gravity" is the brand name of the most popular kerbal snack. And "Happiness" is the most popular soft drink.

[daniel l.]

The secret of life confirmed!

[tygoo7]

Mind = Blown

[SpenSpaceCorp]

Kerbals eat gravity. Gravity has 7 letters and starts with a "G". Geysers is also a 7 letter word starting with "G". Geysers spew water into the air. Water contains Hydrogen. Hydrazine also contains Hydrogen (4 atoms of Hydrogen). Methane also contains 4 Hydrogen atoms. At STP, methane is a gas. "Gas" is a slang term for fuel. Vehicles run on fuel, allowing them to move. Reptiles move. Reptiles = Illuminati! KERBALS ARE ILLUMINATI!!!

It all makes sense!

Edited February 19, 2015 by SpenSpaceCorp

[dryer_lint]

I always thought timewarp was just the player (administrator) going on vacation while the space program is idle...

But this sounds a lot better.

[Engineer of Stuff]

GregroxMun, you post the most entertaining and random things.

[RocketPilot573]

Gravity is food? Dang it, I'll have to cancel my plans for a Gilly base.

[spikeyhat09]

id always assumed kerbals were photosynthetic...

[LordFjord]

I've always thought it's delicious Minmus icecream, but gravity? That's even better.

Now we need a new lifesupport mod based on this theory.

[Moon Goddess]

I just assumed the life support hasn't been implemented yet so unless you've got a mod just handwave it and assume they packed food....

[John FX]

Are you sure kerbals are alive and not just some crazy invention of a scientific madman somewhere?

[Renegrade]

YOu people are looking at it the wrong way.

Minmus and Gilly aren't starving, they're "low-cal".

A nice, light, non-filling snack.