What Are Things You've Heard That Made You Facepalm?

[Thomas988]

"I'd like some chicken tenders please, but only the small ones. The big ones have too many antibodies and that makes them taste funny."

As a highly-avid enthusiast of chicken tenders, I am thoroughly insulted.

[Flymetothemun]

"I'd like some chicken tenders please, but only the small ones. The big ones have too many antibodies and that makes them taste funny."

The guy has a point, but a different one. Large ones are harder to dip into a standard-sized sauce cup, and if you need to bite it more than once you risk the tasty breading slipping off or more of the breading than is needed being taken off the chicken, resulting in a poor breading:chicken ratio. If you are eating at home it is also harder to get all the sauce out of the corners of any sauce vessel you may use. Smaller ones also pose a lesser risk of being undercooked.

[NeatCrown]

A few of my "friends" insist that zodiac symbols affect you. "Most zodiac stuff is correct", and "You are stuck on the ones that aren't true"... yeah. I just gave up trying

This may be a bit late, but I think that they're not too wrong. My thoughts are that it's a placebo effect and people try to act according to their zodiac symbol subconsciously.

Also, My mother says I'm embarrassing her when I'm "misbehaving" because I have black hair.

1. How does pigmentation have anything to do with embarrassment?

2. She's the one who's overreacting over some stupid thing and then tries to say I'm causing it.

Edited July 28, 2015 by NeatCrown

[Yukon0009]

http://www.theflatearthsociety.org/forum/index.php?topic=63055.0#.VbV9bflViTw

I mean, the website as a whole is crackpot nonsense, but this post really stood out to me.

*coughing up blood*

[ChrisSpace]

*coughing up blood*

Same here.

Also, from a conspiracist that seemed to get things the wrong way around...

9/11 was faked in a studio! You can clearly see the plane is only a few inches long!

The Apollo program was an inside job done by the government!

[Goddess Bhavani]

The guy has a point, but a different one. Large ones are harder to dip into a standard-sized sauce cup, and if you need to bite it more than once you risk the tasty breading slipping off or more of the breading than is needed being taken off the chicken, resulting in a poor breading:chicken ratio. If you are eating at home it is also harder to get all the sauce out of the corners of any sauce vessel you may use. Smaller ones also pose a lesser risk of being undercooked.

This made my day. *Adds breading:chicken ratio to cooking knowledge*

[hawk_za]

as a firefighter I often get asked at the scene of a dramatic car accident with lots of flashing lights ambulances and whatnot

(bystander...so what happened here ....

(me .....stares incredulously at bystander to see if he is perhaps blind when I see he is not I then reply ...shark attack

(bystander often leaves angry and confused ....good now I can continue to do my job in peace)

[Bill Phil]

as a firefighter I often get asked at the scene of a dramatic car accident with lots of flashing lights ambulances and whatnot

(bystander...so what happened here ....

(me .....stares incredulously at bystander to see if he is perhaps blind when I see he is not I then reply ...shark attack

(bystander often leaves angry and confused ....good now I can continue to do my job in peace)

When people say "what happened" they don't mean "what" in all cases. They may mean "what happened to cause this?" Which is what I would like to know in that situation.

[Windspren]

It's electron scan microscope. You can't really see the atoms with them, but you can scan them and know they are there.

No, my teacher literally said you can see atoms with them. Like the electron cloud and everything. I mean, really?! Quantum physics, anyone?

[TheSaint]

We were having a conversation at a restaurant once and discovered that one of our friends thought that meat and muscle were two different things. He thought that animals like cows had some kind of useless meat organs inside of them that we harvested during the butchering process and that was where meat came from. Hilarity ensued.

And, as a firearms hobbyist, I have to say that almost anytime I hear a politician or a news reporter try to talk about how firearms work it ends up being a facepalm moment.

[Bioman222]

This video, and the top comment section. These guys aren't the polite type of conspiracy theorists, either. They're a****** conspiracy theorists.

[ChrisSpace]

[Yukon0009]

https://truthernews.wordpress.com/2014/04/06/man-made-asteroid-attack-planned-for-2014/

A bit old, but still faceplant-worthy.

For one, the article assumed the SpaceX Grasshopper is basically a rocket SSTO and that it is capable of entering the atmosphere at orbital speed. (note: they did get it that it was a test vehicle.)

For two,

"As evidenced, there have been an unprecedented amount of asteroids and meteorites which have either struck or came close to striking plant Earth starting on February 15, 2013. This sudden influx of space related activist leads to speculation that there is in fact a concerted agenda to develop a working asteroid narrative prior to an unprecedented and earth changing Doomsday asteroid, comet or meteoroid event." (source: article)

OH FER CRYING OUT LOUD

[heng]

<video snipped>

This video, [...]

If you watched the above, at 01:30min snippets from an actual NASA video start. The original video is pretty! So:

The NASA video "The Saturn Propulsion System" without the moronic "rockets-don't-work-in-vacuum" comments:

Awesome to watch! I could watch '50s/60s TV educationals like this all day! If anyone has a DVD with this stuff, I'd buy it!

Off topic, I know, please don't ban :-D

Edited July 29, 2015 by heng

[Yukon0009]

Also old and besides it's a CNN geog fail, nothing new, but as a Hongkonger I am offended as CNN assumed Hong Kong was in southern America of all places.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/07/cnn-hong-kong-geography-fail_n_4058545.html

[Columbia]

Also old and besides it's a CNN geog fail, nothing new, but as a Hongkonger I am offended as CNN assumed Hong Kong was in southern America of all places.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/07/cnn-hong-kong-geography-fail_n_4058545.html

..That is way, way off. South America? Really?!

I assume it's just a computer glitch or something, honestly. I feel you (Being a Filipino myself and having visited Hong Kong more than twice, I've recognized the location well.)

Off-topic! I was reading the Flat Earth Society forums (for fun).. It was about why the United Nations has a flat-earth projection as their logo. ne assumed that it's evidence that governments know that spherical Earths are a deception.

I can't. I just.. can't.

[Yukon0009]

At least they are more level than the Hollow Earthers. Don't even get me started on those.

[megatiger78]

windows 10 uninstalls your graphics drivers (actually true, but still facepalming)

[windows_x_seven]

windows 10 uninstalls your graphics drivers (actually true, but still facepalming)

Want to have an even bigger facepalm?

Windows 8.

[Layereddiagram]

https://truthernews.wordpress.com/2014/04/06/man-made-asteroid-attack-planned-for-2014/

A bit old, but still faceplant-worthy.

For one, the article assumed the SpaceX Grasshopper is basically a rocket SSTO and that it is capable of entering the atmosphere at orbital speed. (note: they did get it that it was a test vehicle.)

For two,

"As evidenced, there have been an unprecedented amount of asteroids and meteorites which have either struck or came close to striking plant Earth starting on February 15, 2013. This sudden influx of space related activist leads to speculation that there is in fact a concerted agenda to develop a working asteroid narrative prior to an unprecedented and earth changing Doomsday asteroid, comet or meteoroid event." (source: article)

OH FER CRYING OUT LOUD

How even..

Their "evidence" is just a bunch of unconnected space news that shares a word with their conspiracy theory!

The sheer lack of common sense is staggering. I am now dead inside.

And on a slightly less related note, the whole "rockets don't work in space" is just pure ignorance.

How do you get Newton's third law, something that is easily testable with two people and two office chairs, wrong.

Edited July 29, 2015 by Layereddiagram

[PhylumCnidaria]

Classmate says "I'm the best space geek in this whole school!"

I say "Alright then, space geek, What is Delta V?"

"Delta WHAT?! Dude you're stupid, Delta V was the name of a rocket."

That day was the first day I made somebody's nose bleed.

[aceassasin]

Back in my sophomore year of High School I decided to take Astronomy because I thought "I really love things that pertain to space, so this class will be awesome" boy what a mistake that was.

Well during the first week of class we had a small "pre-quiz" to test our astronomy knowledge, and one of the questions was and I .... you not "How many stars are in the solar system?" at first I was like "How can the teacher think we're this stupid", but to make matters even worse the majority of the class answered something like 1,000,000. and the teacher played it off like this kind of thing was completely normal. This is why America is falling far behind other nations.

needless to say I've never face palmed so hard in my entire life.

[Windspren]

"What? Those aren't editing programs!"

http://i.imgur.com/yNRvpIy.jpg

- A classmate

A question from a beginning of the year textbook "scavenger hunt":

"What are the four subjects we'll be learning about this year?"

Me: Physics, Geology, Ecology, [Chemistry]-(I actually forgot to write this one in)

Teacher: Nope; Motion, Earth science, Interaction between organisms(or something along those lines).

(This OP was only acknowledging that this is stupid, so I think it's an exception to rule 3):http://forum.kerbalspaceprogram.com/threads/128469-Curiosity-Rover-finds-something-%28photo%29

I told a different teacher(paraphrasing): "We're killing off other creatures, but It's just natural selection. They weren't fit enough to survive. We're just a part of the ecosystem."

That teacher: "There's nothing natural about us driving them to extinction"

But then again, he was a physics teacher, not an ecologist (I am a physicist type as well, but take some interest in other subjects well)

...And a meme I made in 2013, but never posted:

http://goo.gl/EtL88w

Something that I found:

https://goo.gl/PN04S4

Not to mention one of my least favourites:

"Chemical Free" and "Organic"

Edit: Oh, how could I forget about anti-vaccination people?

Edit2: ...And that "Charlie Charlie" bos tauros feces.

Edit3: "What's Obama's last name?"

Anti-Evolutionists - "If we came from monkeys, why are there still monkeys?" - No explanation needed

Eco-Activists - "We're destroying nature" - Nature goes on. We should take care of it because we'll die if we don't, not for just for the sake of it

A person who rented out the guest house uploading videos illegally without seeding.

Edit4: Whoops, and Flat-Earthers

But neutrinos don't travel faster than light.

[windows_x_seven]

"How many stars are in the solar system?"

I mean, like, isn't it already obvious? Solar System?

I also once witnessed someone ask what was the largest planet in the world.

Edited July 30, 2015 by windows_x_seven

[HoloYolo]

"How is evolution true?! Do you really believe we came from nothing?!"

http://memegenerator.net/instance/61917282

Edited July 30, 2015 by HoloYolo