The "How I never achieved The Eve Rocks Challenge (v0.90 only) badge" thread

[Speeding Mullet]

The "How I never achieved The Eve Rocks Challenge (v0.90 only) badge" thread

I've spotted recently that this great challenge has been closed. With 1.0 live and the deletion of my 0.90 folder with all it's nearly 2500 screenshots imminent, I wanted to highlight to the forum how badly I never made it back to space from Eve.

I'm pretty sure there are many out there that lithobraked, surface RUD'd in it's many forms, and nearly but faceplanted at the last minute in their pursuit of the coveted "I made it back" badge.

Let's see some nearly-no's and remember the worst of the never made it in all it's glory! I'll kick start with a core selection of my (many many) beautiful failures:

Boosters always seem to have a serene sense of self control on unplanned separation from the vessel. Here's one example:

Another example of how I never made it back, with again quite beautiful effects:

A forlorn Kerman I'm sure you will agree. This even despite the aspirationally titled ship "The Eve Miracle"

I call this one "Rapid Unplanned Dis-assembly at 100 feet":

I was going to blow everyone away by lifting 16 Kerbals up and away, but no. Well, sort of....

Never was there enough struts to support the hulking giant:

Launches invariably resulted in the good old firework effect:

And finally the most beautiful screenshot of my 0.90 career, and consequently my most beautiful failure. The Eve Micro lifter (nothing micro about it let's be clear) bravely failing at lifting 4 to orbit:

[Wesreidau]

*pours a grape slurpee on the ground for the fallen*

Lovely stuff. Per ardua ad astra.

[moogoob]

I've never even attempted an Eve return so hats off to you for such beautiful failure.

[SkyRender]

If it's any condolence, Eve returns are much easier now. As long as you can get a ship with enough TWR to the surface, you can get back to orbit for far less dV. I just finished up testing an Eve ascent vehicle with ~8450dV, and it got to orbit with ~660dV to spare. It wasn't even the most efficient possible ascent profile, either. Quite an improvement over the old atmospheric model's ~10,000 to 12,000dV requirement!

[Speeding Mullet]

Thanks everyone!

SkyRender - small condolence, but it was great fun trying non the less. I'm going about 1.0 in a much different way though so I doubt if I'll get to eve this side of Christmas. Focus is on relearning without previously relied on tools. When I get back from Eve I'll be sure to have a celebration!

I'm hoping that this thread might inspire some more nearly-no's so if anyone wants to share feel free to pour your heart out to the alter of failure that this thread represents

SM

[martinborgen]

My eve lander, I don't know the deltaV of the thing because I don't use mods. But it was huge -850 tons of mammoths, with two asparagus stages on top of each other, angled so that all engines except the centre ones would fire simultaneously. The would disassemble itself AFTER touchdown. Tried a touch and go when it became apparent that the fuel lines were bugged...

I spent something like 1 500 000 on the lander and 2 500 000 on the 20k+ LF+OX eve orbit refueling craft. Yes, career mode.

[Laie]

May own failures were nowhere as epic, and hardly ever did I deem them worth of a screenshot. Here's the best I could find (not much, really)... wanted to work it into a HOWTO that somehow never happened.

Incidentally, this was the game being mean to me. The vessel landed gracefully, the engine tore off later when I switched between the lander and an EVA'd Kerbal.

[ShadowZone]

I violated the "circle rule"... but at least I got my Kerbal back to orbit

[Red Iron Crown]

I made a one-kerbal all-SRB ascent vehicle*, but the thing massed close to 900t and I couldn't get it into orbit with a lifter that fit within the VAB circle. And refuelling in orbit was obviously not an option.

*Why? Reasons.

[basic.syntax]

This waits for me in backed-up installation of .90. I haven't got around to finishing the mission. Have various pix and video clips, It was going to be quite a project, putting it all together. I designed the thing with KER, so I'm confident the final stage will make orbit. The 'side car' was a fun challenge, it's counter-weighted by the tank column on the opposite side & would be jettisoned close to the ground. Cargo bay is full of science gear for my career game. A refueling tanker went ahead of it, this entire craft was to deorbit and land, after a refill. The insane 20 m/s impact tolerance on those engines makes them ideal for use as "landing legs".

[NecroBones]

I did two Eve returns prior to 0.90, and both were "successful". I put that in quotes, because my first attempt was a little cheaty. I had one Kerbal in a command chair (no pod), plus I used an underpowered engine in the center stack, because aerospikes aren't stack attachable. I just couldn't make orbit at all, until I edited the save to switch out the center engine.

My second attempt went much better.

The main reason I was able to do reasonably well right away, was entirely because I was on the forum, and paid attention to what everyone else was doing. I knew how much dV I needed in advance, etc.

My first, cheaty visit:

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My much better, non-cheating visit:

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[Speeding Mullet]

Some brilliant failures turning up here now, engines getting knocked off on landing and loading seems to be a common theme! Good to see everyone sharing how you came up short, faceplanted into the wall just below glory, and how you generally never made it back in soup-o-sphere Eve. Some successes also, which as long as they didn't earn the user a badge due to cheatyness, general disregard for the rules, or some other reason are absolutely allowed!

martinborgen - Would love to see some pictures of that brave career mode effort!

Laie - My landers commonly suffered surface RUD's also, you are not alone

ShadowZone - Even just watching the launch of that thing made my computer whimper. Have some internet points for a totally successful failure!

Red Iron Crown - All SRB ascent vehicle - please tell me there is a screenie languishing on your pc somewhere? Ah yes the good old circle rule - I'll get onto my violation of that shortly.

basic.syntax - that really is quite an elegant, and another successful failure judging by use of KER readouts! Loving the counterweight side car

NecroBones - Command chair Kerbal to Eve is vanguard weight saving, and totally banned by the rules of the challenge Congratulations on your config editing command chair faceplant, and subsequent win!

I loaded up my 0.90 game this morning to grab a couple of further screenshots, and also found a few more "nailed it" screen shots to share:

Another brace of Rockomax Jumbo-64 fuel tanks making a bid for freedom:

Strutly come Dancing

Considering the size of this 16 Kerbal to orbit attempt, I have no idea where the rest of the thing went, and how that lone booster got so far away:

Here's the leviathan responsible for the majority of my fail pictures. It's got the dV, but structural rigidity is not it's unique selling point. 1127.1t!!

Incredibly I actually managed to make this thing achieve orbit, but it didn't mean anything. I hyper-edited to Eve surface, and had no realistic hope of designing a launch and transfer vehicle to push the thing to Eve.

SM