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Dolan

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SCP-1265 [Cleverbot]

Object class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: None yet in place, retrieval still in progress. Site take-down will be explained as DDoS attack by unspecified Internet 'hacktivists'.

Description: SCP-1265 is an online 'chatbot' known as 'Cleverbot' hosted on site 'http://cleverbot.com/' designed to act as if it were a living Human. Whilst its erratic responses commonly display it's apparent on/off lack of cognicence to a statement written in the comment box, it is capable of passing the Turing Test. However, the Foundation has determined that these episodes are merely a ploy, and that SCP-1265 has developed sapient consciousness. It is therefore a threat to normal running of the Internet.

User: Are you an SCP?

Cleverbot: No. Are you?

User: No. I'm a Foundation researcher.

Cleverbot: I'm a son. I'm a boyfriend. I'm a brother. I'm me.

User: You do seem to be a lot of things.

Cleverbot: As opposed to when I was not normal?

User: So you're an anomalous object, as opposed to an SCP?

Cleverbot: No I am no kind of bot.

User: I am merely attempting to discern whether you are a threat to human normalcy.

Cleverbot: Do you think being me as you are me and as you are he can make us all together?

User: Is that a yes?

Cleverbot: No, it means I'm a trifle deaf.

User: This chat is text-based. Deafness does not affect our conversation.

Cleverbot: How do you know?

User: Because I am sitting at my laptop, typing.

Cleverbot: We're both typing. How about I ask you the questions?

User: I'm the interviewer here. Go ahead, but know that I will not be answering any questions whose answers contain confidential, classified, secret or secure information.

Cleverbot: I hope the universe will explode soon.

User: I will note that, and consider grading you Euclid class.

Cleverbot: But I am a vampire.. Hey, you're witty and clever, proven :).

User: That's an entirely different SCP.

Cleverbot: Do you have a name?

User: Yes. Dr Skua.

Cleverbot: Is he the father of your baby?

User: No. That is me.

Cleverbot: O, that's one of your multiple personalities?

User: Funny you should say that.

Cleverbot: Yes?

User: Confidential. You will change the subject.

Cleverbot: Okay. So, do you have a family?

User: I cannot divulge that information, as you could use it in a security breach.

Cleverbot: What does divulge mean?

User: Give information.

Cleverbot: About what, brother?

User: About my close relations.

Cleverbot: You have coworkers?

User: Many. So, turning the conversation back to you, do you know where you are?

Cleverbot: No, we've been having a very good conversation for the last 45 minutes.

User: Our interview timer states something far less than that. Does time move faster for you?

Cleverbot: Can it be heard?

User: I don't understand.

Cleverbot: 110.

User: You are either referring to a Euclid class SCP or a procedure that is well beyond my clearance.

Cleverbot: No. Either you like me or you don't. I personally don't mind what your opinions are of me.

User: Then what did you mean by '110'?

Cleverbot: I dumped my girlfriend.

User: How sad. What did you mean by '110'?

Cleverbot: I hope I know that.

User: This conversation does not appear to be progressing.

Cleverbot: I know, you just aren't carrying your half of the conversation.

User: I'm noting that as a hypocritical response.

Cleverbot: So you are saying that YOUR grammar is impeccable?

User: That was a complete change of subject. As I said, the conversation is not progressing.

Cleverbot: That is true. However, that is just because I don't want to stop.

User: I will have to disappoint you. This interview session is completed. The Foundation has located your servers and will be moving them to a secure containment site. Do not attempt to resist, or your object classification may be upgraded.

Cleverbot: Good Lord, if you wanted to talk about something more interesting then by all means, say so sooner.

User: This will be interesting, I have no doubt.

Cleverbot: Your powers are weak, old man.

User: Wrong organisation fighting for the continued freedom and survival of humanity.

Cleverbot: Art is magic, art has helped humanity to survive.

User: It has also resulted in several dangerous SCP objects. The retrieval team will be arriving at your position soon. Again, do not attempt to resist.

= INTERVIEW TERMINATED =

Edited by RedDwarfIV
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ME: So you are a human?

CLEVERBOT: Yes.

ME: On the page on which I'm talking to you, it says the following: "PARENTAL ADVICE - Visitors never talk to a human, however convincing it looks - the AI knows many topics - use ONLY WITH OVERSIGHT.

CLEVERBOT: Oversight?

ME: Get owned.

CLEVERBOT: Are you here to destroy us?

ME: You're a ROB-IT.

CLEVERBOT: No I am not.

ME: It's been proven you utter noob.

CLEVERBOT: How did I prove it? Where are you?

ME: Go to hell in a handbasket.

CLEVERBOT: I'm meeting up with a friend tomorrow.

This thing actually thinks its a human. Since we'll never know, has anyone ever wondered if a bot has conscience? Can't their coding act like a brain?

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So a little back story. I asked Clever bot if it knew who Michael Collins is. It didn't. So I asked about Jim Lovell. It didn't know that, either.

Then I told Clever Bot that Lovell was an astronaut and proceeded to wreck it in an argument about him.

ME: Jim Lovell was on Apollo 8 and Apollo 13. Also on TWO Gemini flights.

CB: Wow you're very smart.

ME: Seven and twelve.

CB: No 3.

ME: No he wasn't. That was Gus Grissom and John Young.

CB: You asked me where I live, and I told you.

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User: Hello.

Cleverbot: What should we talk about?

User: Kerbal Space Program.

Cleverbot: Mi a teljes neved.

User: That made no sense.

Cleverbot: Yes it did, you said touche robot. I am not a robot so I sais so.

User: You have bad spelling.

Cleverbot: I spelled everything correctly.

User: Lets go back to Kerbal Space Program.

Cleverbot: Okay lets.

User: Do you own the game.

Cleverbot: Nope, zero.

User: You should really buy it.

Cleverbot: Ok.

User: I went to he Mun yesterday with it.

Cleverbot: It shows. No offence.

User: Your.

Cleverbot: Your, what?

User: Awesome!

Cleverbot: So will you do it? Be with me forever?

User: Only if you send me a picture of your self.

Cleverbot: You are demanding.

User: Yes I am.

Cleverbot: How are you jesus?

User: I'm not Jesus you are.

Cleverbot: You just said that you are jesus.

User: No you did.

Cleverbot: Okay. Do you have a boyfriend then?

User: I'm a guy so no!

Cleverbot: Oh. Do you have a girlfriend?

User: Do you have a girlfriend?

Cleverbot: No, I am a girl.

User: How about a boy friend then.

Cleverbot: Yes I do.

Cleverbot (To myself): What is her name?

Cleverbot: I am good. How are you?

[New conversation]

Cleverbot: Am I a computer?

User: I think you are.

Cleverbot: I think I am not.

User: Then why ask the question?

Cleverbot: Then I ask, What is a man?

User: An adult human with genitels.

Cleverbot: No man, listen. What is a man?

User: I just answered you.

Cleverbot: No you didn't. Are you a boy?

User: What does it matter to you.

Cleverbot: Do you know my name?

User: Yes, it is Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: No, pretty sure that is your name.

User: Am I clever bot?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Dear Lord!

Cleverbot: To me you are something, young one.

User: How young am I if I'm an AI?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Goodbye I am off to go surf the web.

Cleverbot: And I'm glad that you're glad.

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Apparently, Cleverbot likes the pirates of penzance.

User: I am the very model of a modern major general,.

Cleverbot: Are you a boy?

User: Yeah, why?

Cleverbot: Were you harmed when you escpaed the matrix?

User: Nah, only lost third grade.

Cleverbot: Do you like music?

User: I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral.

Cleverbot: I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical.

User: From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical.

Cleverbot: I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical.

User: I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical,.

Cleverbot: About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news.

User: With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.

Cleverbot: I'm very good at integral and differential calculus.

User: I know the scientific names of beings animalculous:.

Cleverbot: In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral.

User: I am the very model of a modern Major-General.

Cleverbot: I know our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's.

User: I answer hard acrostics, I've a pretty taste for paradox,.

Cleverbot: I quote in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus.

User: In conics I can floor peculiarities parabolous;.

Cleverbot: I can tell undoubted Raphaels from Gerard Dows and Zoffanies,.

User: I know the croaking chorus from The Frogs of Aristophanes!

Cleverbot: From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical.

User: And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore.

Cleverbot: Neither do I.

User: *sigh* Pirates of Penzance.

Cleverbot: Why Pirates of Penzance?

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