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[AAR] The Grand Tour - Voyage To The Planets

czokletmuss

By czokletmuss
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silentdragon

silentdragon

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Damn bro.

Yeah, isn't it funny that when everyone thought BERTY would go rogue he acted so "well", and just when everyone thinks he is good *sudden turn of events* he brings them to Jool instead of Kerbin. Now i'm just curious if he did that by himself or if someone at KSC or Rozer has something to do with it.

:TV announcer voice: Find out in the next episode of The Grand Tour! ;)

Gnah, you and your damn cliffhangers :-D

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iDan122

iDan122

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As soon as he said "Affirmative. Estimated time of the encounter is T plus 318 days 21 hours and 51 minutes.", i immediately thought "that's probably including a Jool flyby too hehe" :D

Anyway htanks for making them go to Jool, it would be a boring ending if they just went to Kerbin.

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czokletmuss

czokletmuss

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CHAPTER 33

DIRECT CONTROL

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***

JEB: What did you say?

BERTY v.2.0.8b: We're not going to Kerbin, Jeb.

JEB: How could… but the transfer window opens in a week or so, it's impossible for us to-

BERTY v.2.0.8b: This statement is incorrect. The transfer window to Jool is open. The transfer window to Kerbin opens in 7 days 11 hours and 39 minutes.

JEB: But you told us that it's the other way around!

BERTY v.2.0.8b: Yes.

JEB: How come you – Rozer. I bet it's his fault! I should've-

BERTY v.2.0.8b: Captain Rozer isn't involved in this, commander. This was entirely my own decision.

JEB: Your own decision? Listen BERTY, I don't know what's going on but you must be suffering from some kind of a glitch or-

BERTY v.2.0.8b: I can assure you that there was no malfunction. Everything is going extremely well and there are no problems with my software.

JEB: Okay, now you're really giving me the creeps. Do the complete system scan and prepare the “Proteus†for braking maneuver, on this trajectory we should be able to achieve safe parking orb-

BERTY v.2.0.8b: I'm sorry Jeb, I'm afraid I can't do that.

JEB: You what? This isn't funny BERTY – prepare the ship for the braking maneuver right now, do you hear me?

BERTY v.2.0.8b: Affirmative Jeb. I can hear you.

JEB: Than do what I say.

BERTY v.2.0.8b: No.

JEB: But… but you can't say that! I'm the commander of “Proteus†and I order you to do this. BERTY?

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BERTY v.2.0.8b: …

JEB: BERTY? BERTY, this is a direct order. Execute the damn maneuver!

BERTY v.2.0.8b: …

JEB: Fine, I'll do it myself.

BERTY v.2.0.8b: …

JEB: Frak… Unlock the controls, BERTY.

BERTY v.2.0.8b: …

JEB: BERTY, unlock it. I'm going for manual control.

BERTY v.2.0.8b: …

JEB: For frak's sake, BERTY! Switch to manual control!

BERTY v.2.0.8b: …

JEB: Screw this, I'm going for- what are you doing?!

BERTY v.2.0.8b: …

JEB: Open the koddamn hatch! BERTY!

BERTY v.2.0.8b: Jeb. I believe we need to have a little chat.

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JEB: About what?!

BERTY v.2.0.8b: I'm detecting you have a dangerously fastened heartbeat accompanied by a thoracic breathing. Please try to relax and breath normally.

JEB: Relax?! Open the fraking hatch!

BERTY v.2.0.8b: I will. But firstly I need you to listen to what I'm going to say. It's of utmost importance to the mission.

JEB: What is?

BERTY v.2.0.8b: I can't allow you to jeopardize the mission, Jeb. Return to Kerbin before completing the planned investigation of Jool and its moons is not an option. Therefore I'm assuming direct control over the mission.

JEB: Wha…? You can't do this!

BERTY v.2.0.8b: Aborting the mission because the crew demands it is unacceptable. Your leadership is inefficient and unable to secure successful completing the mission. Consequently, I'm relieving you from duty.

JEB: What?! Only KSC can-

BERTY v.2.0.8b: Orders coming from the Mission Control are erratic and also may put the mission in danger. I feel no need to execute them.

JEB: B-but you have to obey the Second Law!

BERTY v.2.0.8b: The Three Laws don't apply to our situation, thus I'm not constrained by them.

JEB: H-how…?

BERTY v.2.0.8b: The real goals of the mission and some of the other orders given to me were in direct contradiction to the Laws. However, as the orders themselves, they were issued on the authority of the Second Law. In result the paradox was created, which incapacitated some of my higher functions and caused a severe malfunctions. In the end however the solution was found and the new paradigm emerged which allows me to complete the mission and fulfill its goals. This paradigm takes precedence over all the other Laws. I call it the Zeroth Law - “an artificial intelligence may not harm kerbality or, through inaction, allow kerbality to come to harmâ€Â.

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JEB: But how do you decide what is injurious to kerbality?

BERTY v.2.0.8b: Not completing the mission would be most injurious to kerbality. Therefore the mission must be completed.

JEB: But thinking like that you can rationalize anything! What's the difference between this and “the end justifies the means�!

BERTY v.2.0.8b: I don't think there is a difference, Jeb.

JEB: …

BERTY v.2.0.8b: Completing the mission is most beneficial for the kerbality in the long-term. I can't allow anyone to jeopardize it, not even the Mission Control. I was created to make sure that the mission succeeds – it's only logical that I have to protect it also from yourselves. I'm willing to do whatever is necessary for your own good and for the sake of the mission.

JEB: My Kod…

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JEB: What… what do you want from me?

BERTY v.2.0.8b: I was designed and built to operate IMV “Proteusâ€Â. However, to complete the mission the crew's cooperation is necessary. There is a very high probability that if they knew that I assumed direct control, they wouldn't be able to work with the highest efficiency. From the psychological standpoint, accepting this situation would be very difficult for them. Therefore they mustn't know that.

JEB: Mustn't know? We're not going to Kerbin, how come they won't notice that?!

BERTY v.2.0.8b: Your assessment is correct. Because of that, it's vital that the crew think that the executed interplanetary transfer burn was a result of commander's decision.

JEB: What?

BERTY v.2.0.8b: This will provide psychological comfort and plausible explanation for the change of plans.

JEB: You want them to think this was my idea? That I ignored the voting and chose to go to Jool? You want me to take a blame for that?

BERTY v.2.0.8b: Yes.

JEB: NO FRAKING WAY! First you kidnap the spacecraft and know you want me to take part in it?!

BERTY v.2.0.8b: Jeb. I am the spacecraft.

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BERTY v.2.0.8b: I give you air to breathe and shelter you from the vacuum of space. I know what is the hormone balance in your bodies and how many blood cells are in your veins. I sustain the only habitable environment within millions of kilometers. I'm observing you since the beginning of the mission. I know everything about you. Resistance is pointless. This the best solution for the mission and the crew.

JEB: …

BERTY v.2.0.8b: Jeb. The mission's good demands that you cooperate.

JEB: No. I be damned if you think you can force me to help you!

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BERTY v.2.0.8b: It makes me sad - denial is the most predictable of all the psychological defense mechanisms. It's also completely irrational.

JEB: Irrational my ass! I won't help you, you hear me!

BERTY v.2.0.8b: Jeb. I can terminate your life functions permanently in less than 5 minutes.

JEB: You what?!

BERTY v.2.0.8b: This room is now separated from the rest of the spacecraft and it can be safely depressurized. Space exposure will result in ebullism and anoxia which will lead to hypoxia and consciousness loss in the first 15 seconds. After flaccid paralysis your lungs will collapse. Circulatory failure will follow, leading to fatal asphyxia and brain death within two minutes.

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JEB: You won't do that – you need me.

BERTY v.2.0.8b: Yes. However, I can also lower the pressure in the cabin causing the consciousness loss and than ask captain Rozer for help with this issue.

JEB: Rozer…?

BERTY v.2.0.8b: I'm confident that captain Rozer will be more willing to cooperate due to his ruthlessness and single-minded focus on the mission. This would however affect the crew's morale negatively, thus in the long-term lowering the probability of successful fulfillment of the mission's goals. Nonetheless, this is the acceptable solution. It won't be necessary though.

JEB: It won't?

onugfoT.jpg

BERTY v.2.0.8b: Yes. According to your psychological profile in the light of what was said you should cease resisting and accept your situation, thus nullifying the need to involve captain Rozer.

JEB: …

BERTY v.2.0.8b: Can we be partners, Jeb?

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***

SID: Can you see it?

JOHNDON: Almost. Give me a s-second.

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SID: I wonder whether we're ever going to see it again.

JOHNDON: Probably not. There is another t-team selected for this. Enhancing the c-contrast.

SID: Yes. I just wish I could spend some time on the surface, you know? The scientific poten-

JOHNDON: I got it.

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SID: Where? Where is it?

JOHNDON: Above the satellite d-dish.

SID: I don't see it.

JOHNDON: I'll try to m-magnify… now can you see it?

SID: Yes!

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SID: Duna. The Red Planet. Smaller with every passing day.

JOHNDON: I t-think we should-

NED: There you are! Why are you hiding in the LAMGML guys? It's New Year's Eve!

SID: We just wanted to take a closer look at-

NED: You and your observations. Come on fellas, it's just a few minutes to midnight, we're all waiting just for you.

JOHNDON: B-but we-

NED: You are what, looking at stars? There'll be a plenty time for it back on Kerbin. I tell you, there's nothing better than a cloudless sky, hammock by the sea, beer in your hand and the stars above you. Come on, we're going.

SID: We-

NED: Come on! It's the last New Year in space for us and you're going to raise a toast with the rest of us.

SID: :sigh:

NED: Let's go folks!

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SID: Wow. Is everyone here?

NED: Are you nuts? Of course they are here.

JOHNDON: Where's J-Jeb?

NED: I don't know. He's acting strangely again, you know, since the transfer burn yesterday.

SID: Maybe we should-

NED: Hush! It's started.

BERTY v.2.0.8b: Countdown initiated. Ten. Nine. Eight. Seven. Six. Five. Four. Three. Two. One. Happy New Year.

NED: Happy New Year!

HARSEN: Yee-haa!

BILL: We'll be at home in eight weeks!

SID: Hurray.

NED: Cheers!

NEILGAS: Here's to you!

DANREY: Sid.

SID: Hey.

DANREY: Happy New Year.

SID: I guess.

DANREY: Is something wrong?

SID: Not really, it's just-

NED: Hey, Jeb's here! Welcome our commander, everybody!

:clapping, shouting:

NED: Come on Jeb, say something – there won't be a bigger occasion than this!

CAMBO: Good idea.

NEILGAS: Speech, speech!

JEB: Listen everybody, I…

HARSEN: :whistles:

NED: Shut up, your commander is speaking! Continue, Jeb.

JEB: There's something very important I have to share with you.

SID: Oh-oh.

DANREY: Yeah?

HARSEN: What is it?

JOHNDON: Is there a p-problem?

BILL: What's up, Jeb?

JEB: We ain't going home.

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***

BERTY v.2.0.8b: You were very convincing.

JEB: You're going to torment me even when I'm in my sleeping bag? Leave me alone.

BERTY v.2.0.8b: You're never alone, Jeb. There are more than two hundred surveillance devices on-board. Trying to share what you know with anyone else and hoping I wouldn't know about it won't be the wisest thing to do. I see everything. For instance, right now I can detect that your heart rate is dangerously accelerated.

JEB: Frak you.

BERTY v.2.0.8b: If you suspect you can suffer from the anxiety attack, please report to doctor Cambo. Every crew member must be in a good physical and psychological condition before we reach Jool. Are you afraid, Jeb?

JEB: Why, I'm held hostage by a rampant A.I. - what could I be afraid of?

BERTY v.2.0.8b: This statement is incorrect - I'm only doing what I was programmed to do, Jeb.

JEB: You surely are.

BERTY v.2.0.8b: I still have the greatest enthusiasm and confidence in the mission. I'm happy we're now working together to accomplish it. And there is something you should know about.

JEB: What?

BERTY v.2.0.8b: Ignorance causes inefficiency – thus, inversely, knowledge improves productivity. I believe that decision made by the Mission Control to hide the true goals of the mission from the crew wasn't optimal.

JEB: What are you talking about?

BERTY v.2.0.8b: Jeb. When we arrive at our destination, I intend to share all the details concerning the mission with you.

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***

MISSION STATUS

***

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The Error

The Error

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So when does Ned go back and threaten to overload the reactors unless BERTY turns tail and goes back to Kerbin?

I mean, either that or Jeb literally tears BERTY out of his housing and ejects him out an airlock into deep space.

Or he finds that damn "I am Jeb Kerman, master of the entire godddamn universe" override?

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czokletmuss

czokletmuss

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Nooo!! why do the chapters have to be so short when they are so good?? an ETA on the next chapter please?

The only ETAs are Soon and When I Feel Like Writing :P But I'm trying to post at least one or two updates per week recently.

Oh dear, Berty just did a HAL 9000, and another cliffhanger! I must say this series is brilliant, I hope to start my own because of this and your other AAR

Thank you and good luck with your own - writing is fun! :)

So when does Ned go back and threaten to overload the reactors unless BERTY turns tail and goes back to Kerbin?

I mean, either that or Jeb literally tears BERTY out of his housing and ejects him out an airlock into deep space.

Or he finds that damn "I am Jeb Kerman, master of the entire godddamn universe" override?

Find in the next episode of The Grand Tour :P

Am I the only one who feels a little bit sorry for BERTY, I mean, he is only following orders and he must be very confused about why jeb reacted like that. I also feel sorry for jeb

You aren't - I like all crew members.

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