Facts of life

[nhnifong]

In this thread post something that can only be learned from experience.

Next person must answer and post something else.

How do you get a cat into a box?

[TheCanadianVendingMachine]

you pick it up. You throw it into a box. Then the cat gets pissed and starts scratching you. You get pissed off and kick the cat, the cat then bites you and runs off.

[Kosmo-not]

You give the cat a box.

How do you get a dog to stop barking?

[nhnifong]

introduce something smelly?

[TheCanadianVendingMachine]

Oh sorry, my brain functioned like a five year old just then, I didn't comprehend the post.

You punch it

How do you get a rooster to stop roosting?

Have you noticed yet I am violent?

[LeonG17]

In a non-violent way such as picking it up.

How do you make friends?

[zekes]

Walk up and start up a conversation.

And saying "Hay, wanna be friends?" is not a good idea.

[Holo]

How do you do the above without being tazered?

[LeonG17]

Don't look scary and be friendly.

How do you have a happy life?

[nhnifong]

How do you have a happy life?

Spend your money not on things, but on experiences, and share them with others.

How do you make an omlette?

[NASAFanboy]

Spend your money not on things, but on experiences, and share them with others.

How do you make an omlette?

You hurl eggs, salt, pepper, and the other stuff into a jet engine. An jet engine that is working.

How can you explain the Principles of String Theory to a 6th Grader?

[nhnifong]

How can you explain the Principles of String Theory to a 6th Grader?

Pick the right sixth grader. State the need for a theory of everything, explain extra dimensions more than space or time, oversimplify the part about wavelets.

How do you catch a pigeon?

[TheCanadianVendingMachine]

You shoot it and then pick up its corpse.

How do you eat a kinder egg in America?

[nhnifong]

BTW, omlettemaking 101:

warm eggs

heat pan

put 3 eggs in cup

add salt

mix without making bubbles

butter pan

pour eggs in pan

sweep around side and roll extra liquid around trying to cook it all quickly.

wait about 10 sec

fold close side

hold pan over plate

slide omlette off, folding over in process.

[nhnifong]

Pigeons are quite easily caught using bait.

ok Im going to stop answering

[Holo]

How do you eat a kinder egg in America?

Illegally.

[NASAFanboy]

You shoot it and then pick up its corpse.

How do you eat a kinder egg in America?

Breaking News!

Kinder Egg Cartel Attacks U.S Customs Office as diversion! Hundreds of pounds of Kinder Eggs sneak into USA. Military is mobilizing in case of attack! U.S Army Reserves on full alert!

Hint hint.